You Look Nice Today

Our work was done. We'd said all we needed to say. We apparated from this world, much like monks who retreat to a mountaintop hovel. Only for us, we apparated via Greyhound and hoveled in an abandoned Bauxite mine …

Whether you like baseball, chicken dinners, multilevel marketing, or The Price is Right, we offer several varietals of bespoke juices you can enjoy …

Welcome to the You Look Nice Today® Scat Immersion Program™.

No dogs, babies, or squares allowed.

In preparation for your first day on campus, please learn these key phrases, as they represent your final connection …

As part of a pilot program, The You Look Nice Today Foundation (a Delaware corporation) has recently undertaken a groundbreaking new outreach initiative to provide comfort to those in theoretical need.

So, YES: we …

Welcome to the global premiere of the International You Look Nice Today Conference & Expo™!

Get ready for an epic showcase of big-idea ideations and tactical tactics to be held in the picturesque Los Altos …

Listen. It’s actually very simple.

When you buy in to the You Look Nice Today “Inverted Triangle Program™” you enter a world of theoretically unlimited income.

Recruit two friends, ask them to recruit two friends, …

• Free swim Thursdays 4:00 - 4:15.
• Shower before entering pool. Also, shave before entering pool.
• This is a “Body Shame …

TO: Paul Polman, CEO
Unilever PLC
London, United Kingdom

Dear Mr. Polman,

I hope you can help me.

You are in charge of a massive, …

Hello, my friend! Welcome to my humble automobile dealership!

Ah, yes. Very nice. I see you eyeing our all new 2013 Toyota Scimitar with optional Sports Package and Premium Ground Effects. This favored daughter of …

Thieving Threesome Nabbed

(California) Three men were detained and arrested at a local Target today, charged with the attempted theft of over $400 in merchandise. The men refused to identify themselves, giving only …

Welcome to Druthers, CA! Here are some tips for making the most of your visit with us:

• Yes. Keep checking your mailbox. No, again. Faster. Now, pay it forward.
• DO not touch the princess anywhere that her swimsuit …

The Stenciled Approach | You Look Nice Today on Huffduffer

Summer’s right around the corner, guys. So, let’s get in gear—yes, your gear!

First, make sure you’ve got everything sorted, basketed, washed, dried, …

We don’t know anyone who loves sushi more than we do. That’s because when we meet someone who loves sushi, we stop talking to them forever. Because we want to be the biggest sushi lovers we know.

To honor that love, we …

Unpeeling the gunt, extending the brand, and rendering a sidekick polyhedron that really scales.

It’s a start.

“Baby City”
Trad., to the tune of “Tabula Rasa” by Arvo Pärt

We went, with some friends, into the woods. A few days later we left the woods. Our memory of the time we spent in the woods is a bit fuzzy; fortunately, someone thought to make an audio recording of it.

This episode …

Bankruptcy Liquidation Auction
Beginning @ 9:00 AM-85 Herston Rd.
Long Beach, CA
Feb 8, 2010

Registration 7:30-10:00 A.M.

Auction With Reserve Will …

Subject: #1228743 “Mann”
Application Date: September 4, 1980

Subject has submitted a new application to the Coolness Review Board. Note that this is …

Hop in our decommissioned World War II tank that has been outfitted to look like the Liberty Bell. The You Look Nice Today Tour of Philadelphia …

While under the influence of y, we reveal that:

1. Merlin once put x in an envelope.
2. Scott hoped another guy’s x would draw attention away from his …

You’re gonna love it—the guitar does this “Wheeee!” thing while the drums go all “Chukka chukka booda booda.” OK, here it comes. Shhhh!

No wait, that’s not it. Almost there, just after this last chorus. Seriously, I …

Seattle LIVE!: April 23, 2009

We teamed up with our pals Jordan, Jesse, Go! and took the Monsters of Podcasting on the road. Our Pacific Northwest Megatour kicked off in Seattle on Thursday and finally ended in …

INT. DINGY POLICE CAPTAIN’S OFFICE IN THE 80’s - NIGHT

The chair behind the captain’s desk is empty. Two men sit, smoking, in folding chairs facing …

Making college affordable, restful, and culturally relevant; the cupping comforts of secondary scholarship; Adam becomes a costumed mascot and buys a …

Merlin: Boy Scout

Scott: Boy Scout

Adam: YMCA Indian Guide

Listen as we conduct our exclusive pro gift-giving super-session TED Talk master class webinar. Over $600 in essential GiftWisdom™ is yours for FREE. …

1930’s wandering troubadour Trinket Pills (? - 1939) scored a brief hit on the Wichita charts with his plaintive Ballad of Joey Nickelpuss:

If “penultimate” meant “last,” this would be the penultimate episode of our VSOP series. Thanks again to John Hodgman, Jonathan Coulton, and the …

YLNT VSOP, Part II! The drugs* have kicked in, and we have reached cruising altitude. Stay tuned for the final, gripping conclusion to the VSOP series next week. Or so.

A partial list of works referenced in this …

It’s YLNT VSOP, Part I! We convened a special session in San Francisco, featuring guests John Hodgman and Jonathan Coulton. Aided by Hodgman’s …

Thousands* of you wrote to us asking for Election Day guidance. Sadly, we don’t have time to evaluate every candidate in every race. Instead, we commissioned the handy YLNT Voter’s Guide you’ll find below. We recommend …

FIRST:

Nose harmony, quarters, who’s Capote now?, “He plays you better than you play you,” layers of latex, latchkey ontologies, start shooting your …

You’ve just hopped on the #17 Express and must quickly decide where to sit. In the back of the bus, four teenagers have staked their claim to a dozen …

Now* accepting applications for the Class of 2016! Sample from our wide range of available courses, including Sociology 102: Shaving, Chemistry 206: …

The parenting of negligence, things you didn’t know about gas stations, ancient aphorisms, tethered to a key, you go in and stay there until you have wisdom, They’ve Got It!, blue sky pie in the sky, Adam tries a little …

Sandwich smiles into the mouthpiece, teenage telemarketing salad days, LonelyWear’s autumn line, the secret of our success (at Macy’s), ham symphony, Karl gets fired from the Geek Squad, acquaintance on final approach, …

We’re back from summer break full of something and something. Expect weekly episodes until it’s time for fall break. Or early September break. Break!

Down and out in Улаанбаатар (sorry, Mongolia!), remembrance of fights past, rampant on a field of Wheat Chex, stickin’ with the quadrupeds, Adam’s …

Sit back, relax, mix yourself an Aunt Nancy but don’t cross the swords. We’re coloncasting over at bandaid1995.com. ¿Esto debería estar en el …

Unhealthy ligatures, a course of Prednisone, “I’m not following you!”, obscure chess moves, smoking for the cure, misused orifices, we pass as …

Recorded live at the Dark Room Theater in San Francisco. Don’t miss lots of great photos from the event.

Desperate for funds, we explore opening a restaurant. Along the way, Sandwich cries in the bathroom, Merlin sings …

Parental interference and other awkwardtunities, pie vs invisibilty, how Adam will die, Tuesdays with Tom Waits, Wisdom Experience guaranteed, another factory closes (bagpipe soundtrack).

How do your socks feel about it?, a new kind of retail experience, Sandwich knows his Douglas Firs, Farewell to Tight (actually The Sun Also Tights), white shoes, Los Altos Rancho Vista Wi’z, dippin’ dots, our favorite …

So sorry!, the oxygen lobby, doin’ the Skokie, Wallet-on-Chain is not a town in England, Sean Connery is Japanese, What’s your latte name?, pre-disposable feminine hygiene, @EffingBoring gets the carnation.

Doing the fishstick, Sacks-Minnelli Disease, on the logical possibility of a cool fannypack, who’s your frelative?, “A Touch of Asperger’s”, social …

Sheriff’s got a posse, Clarence the barber (and his balls), the benenemafits of a Fleet-based regimen, the grapefruit and bacon diet, Neti pots and other 100% legitimate remedies.

Jamón y jabón, computerized career counseling, nicaragua@nicaragua.nicaragua, Sandwich does the Boogie Oogie, skating to college, Checkin’ Out!, …

On Being Boring, crazy meat, Merlin knows how to build a team, Lonely Spacecamp, Clooney trumps Hill but both beat you, Encounters with Celebrity, …

"Oh my God: you GUYS!"; Scott sports vomit; Merlin raises a Predator; Scott has a hair theory about ladies who sing; Merlin calls for a National Day of Goatee Reconsideration; Adam moves into the nascent pubic wig …

Sign up for SNARE!, Ol’ Grandpa Mann’s Phlegmatic/Bucolic Humour Balancing Apparatus, the magical beards of junior high, receiving pleasure for …

Merlin looks for cashews, Allan Holdsworth saves a kitten, Scott licks shiny faces, “arrested developments” in Adam’s pants, Elvis gives away …

Cosby takes the Queen to a dunk tank, office resources sparingly allocated, sponsors intimidated. Assorted loofah-related incidents.