Cover art for podcast We've Got No Idea What We're Gonna Say

We've Got No Idea What We're Gonna Say

53 EpisodesProduced by Nick MurphyWebsite

Ben Simmons and Nick Murphy's improvised podcast.

53 Episodes | 2020 - 2021

Incestuous Wangs (5-5)

March 8th, 2021

21:50

Although we have no idea what we're gonna say, this episode has a sense of inevitability. You get Rachel Woollett as a guest. Sooner or later, the …

Rife with Ablutions (5-4)

January 25th, 2021

21:07

Let's all enjoy Ben and Nick having recorded an episode in mid 2020 and then sitting on it for over six months. Why would they do this? There must be …

Apocalips Wow (5-3)

November 20th, 2020

20:27

Listen with even more sheer excitement than you've ever felt before as Ben and Nick record a podcast without actually being together.

Pandemics mean less touching. But they don't mean less aural loveliness! Enjoy. Then …

Four Women, One Cup (5-2)

September 4th, 2020

30:14

After so many years of shame and despair, Ben and Nick finally reach their 50th episode of We've Got No Idea What We're Gonna Say. How to celebrate this milestone? They asked some lovely ladies to be guests on the show …

The Thighs of Skywalker (5-1)

July 3rd, 2020

20:15

After series 4 was spread over 4 years(!) Ben and Nick have committed to a more regular show once again and they storm back into your ears with …

Season 4 is Terminated (4-12)

February 20th, 2020

20:00

As season four draws to a close, we remember all those good times over the whole season of 12 episodes.

Who'd have thought, when we started season 4 …

Sweets for My Sweet (4-11)

February 20th, 2020

20:00

Ben and Nick get sticky and sugary while maintaining proper oral hygiene

If you've ever wanted to know what Nick found on a Chess Grandmaster's computer or what Ben got up to at University, then listen and learn my …

Stick a Finger Up It (4-10)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

The boys are back, with the tenth episode of series four of their awarded non-winning podcast.

We discuss castings, we discuss hotels, and we suprise Adam Jenkins by speaking to him.

Chessington World of Prize (4-9)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

Live (not dead) from the South Wimbledon Studios, Ben & Nick are back with more insights into the world.

If you want to hear about Donald Trump, training Priests, and animals with eyes - you've come to the right …

Unexpected Grievances with Taylor Swift, Beyoncé and Benedict Cumberbatch * (4-8)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

*Guests may or may not actually be appearing*.

Ben and Nick are excitedly presenting from their brand new South Wimbledon studios, and discuss the …

The Trustworthy Brothers (4-7)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

Ben and Nick are back, and are spreading their brand or trustworthiness to another amazing podcast.

Nick talks about passwords, but don't let that put you off.

Ben talks about his love of the board game Stratego, but …

Peeing in the Deadpool (4-6)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

In a nod to the late (not dead, just unpunctual) great Barry Norman, Ben & Nick talk about all the crazy things they get up to.

LIke going to an early evening viewing at the cinema. Or complaining about kids …

It's Not Worth-ing It (4-5)

February 19th, 2020

19:54

Because pre-recording the podcast means less work for them, Ben & Nick pre-recorded a large portion of this podcast.

Ben was performing in Cinderella in the seaside town of Worthing over Christmas 2015, and we …

Milk & More Dogging (4-4)

February 19th, 2020

19:57

Ben and Nick use the power of the internet and time-travel to combine a new podcast with a previous podcast guest!

Kylie Butler brings her breasts into our Trafford Centre studios, and we'd like you to listen to those …

Weirdy or Beardy (4-3)

February 19th, 2020

19:58

Ben and Nick moved in together, and it all went quiet. Too quiet.

What the hell are they up to..?

...Well - Nick grew a beard, and Ben didn't want to.

That's about it.

I'll Off-White (4-2)

February 19th, 2020

19:59

A little more than one year after the original recording, Ben & Nick present their podcast live from the Isle of Wight Festival 2013. Amazing event, awesome star guests, and quite a lot of booze.

Here they come, …

Squeak (4-1)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

In the words of Martin Luther King:
"Ben and Nick have made it to Season 4 of their podcast"

He was a bit weird like that.
He had a dream though.
So did we.
It made us cry.
This is our podcast about it.*

*This episode …

Team WGNI (3-12)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

2012 was a great year for Britain. The Diamond Jubilee, the Olympics, and in honour of all that makes Britain great, we offer up this podcast.

For Britain. For Her Majesty. For the Glory.

Oh, and it's three months late.

The Drunkcast (3-11)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

We've talked about it, and now it happened.

We were drunk. We're sorry.

Shattered Bonds (3-10)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

When looking for a hot girl to return to the cosy space between Ben & Nick, who better than Lainy Scott?!

She's funny, attractive, good to chat to, and likes football. In many ways she's the perfect woman.

We quite …

MiddleSex (3-9)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

Having finally escaped from his restraining device on the end of the phone line, Adam Jenkins rushes to join his old comrades-in-alms Ben & Nick.

Cereal Killers (3-8)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

When two boys in the prime of their life are left alone, with the whole of London at their doorstep, a world of possibilities just moments away - …

Voice Males (3-7)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

Is there a more heavenly, ethereal sound than two idiots talking? Of course there is.

However, returning to their roots (with a bottle of hair dye) Ben & Nick sit down in front of a microphone: Scriptless. …

Be Manic (3-6)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

Some said it would never happen. Some said it could never happen. But around ELEVEN YEARS after their groundbreaking show "A Musical Showcase", the …

The Poisoned Challis (3-5)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

Marleeeeeeene!

No, we haven't gone (more) mental. But we have been joined by legendary actor John Challis, from such shows as "Only Fools & …

The Buttocksfly Effect (3-4)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

Just like the well known "Butterfly Effect", if you listen to this podcast, chaos will happen.

Chaos in Cromer (3-3)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

Just when you thought that seaside towns in Norfolk were quiet and serene, it turns out - you are right!

Of course, when Ben & Nick tried to …

Salt of the Earth (3-2)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

Ben & Nick ask you to give them a lick, to share in their salty goodness.

If you have ever loved Rusty Lee or Mr Motivator; or hate Adam Jenkins; this is the podcast for you...

History Repeating (3-1)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

You begged, you screamed, you wailed and gnashed your teeth - but we still started a new series!

And if you don't like that joke, there's a whole …

Father Than We've Ever Gone Before (2-12)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

A dark dark day dawns on Earthville, as Season Two of WGNI draws to a close.

We've run out of people that aren't related to us, so Ben's Dad pops into the WGNI studio for a drop of tea and some light dirty-talk.

WGNI …

Lie To Me (2-11)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

Season Two is drawing to a close, which may make you sad. Thankfully we have the incredibly attractive Lainy Scott in the studio to make us happy!

Genie-Us (2-10)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

WGNI returns (from an unplanned hiatus) with a bang, as Tyler Fayose brings his own special brand of magic, and his dusty lamp, and his painted boobs, and his scary accents to the WGNI studio. You might have been …

Playing Ketchup (2-9)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

We have all had dealings with prostitutes, so we got star of children's tv Hi5, Luke Roberts to tell us about them. I think you'll be surprised with his knowledge and experience.

Whatever you do in life, think "What …

Milk & More (2-8)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

We knew we needed something. We knew we needed liquid. White liquid. Squeezed from a cow's udder.  We knew this.

But something was missing... It …

Ben's Dangerous Area (2-7)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

The WGNI studio is filled with fun, after the arrival of star of Children's Television and Shotgun Impro - Jonny Freeman.

Jonny was hirsute, Nick was adroit, Ben was dangerous....

Idiots Behaving Badly (2-6)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

Just when you thought that Ben & Nick were the most famous people you'd ever heard on the internet - something ridiculous happens...

Live from …

Christmas Boobs (2-5)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

In a first for WGNI, Ben and Nick are joined not by one slamming hottie - but TWO!

Friends and comedy partners Fi & Vi jet in from the USA to join friends and comedy partners Ben & Nick who have jetted in from …

By the Hard Skin of Our Teeth (2-4)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

Dave Jackson-Mayo sweeps aside all stereotypes that people with double barrelled names are not funny. He also sweeps streets to make ends meet, but …

Heroes & Villains (2-3)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

Live from the New Players Theatre, in Charing Cross' "New Players Theatre"; Ben and Nick sit outside the girls toilets for twenty minutes.

Luckily, the megastar sex-bomb living-legend that is Rosalind Blessed sits …

The Walk of Shame (2-2)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

The average level of attractiveness in the WGNI studio sharply rises for 20 minutes, with the arrival of the one and only Louise Henry.

From humble beginnings on Cromer Pier, she's scaled the showbiz world to be only …

The Flood of Tears (2-1)

February 19th, 2020

20:00

In an historic move, series two begins with a new person in the WGNI studio.

Ben and Nick share bodily warmth with the living legend that is Adam Jenkins.

Adam regrets knowing us.

[Originally broadcast 22/10/2010]

The End (or is it?) (1-12)

February 3rd, 2020

20:00

Ben and Nick approach the end of everything with despair and terror. Then, something happens that makes it all better.

Or does it??

Midnight Train to Norfolk (1-11)

February 3rd, 2020

20:00

Ben & Nick are leaving,

On that midnight train to Norfolk,

And they're goin' back

To a damper place and time.

And I'll be with them

On that …

Hope, Love and Death (1-10)

February 3rd, 2020

20:00

Ben and Nick hope you love them. And please don't die.

Goodnight.

Home is Where The Arse Is (1-9)

February 3rd, 2020

20:00

Ben has returned from Norfolk to join Nick in creating beauty for your ears.

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but we say, beauty is in …

Diamond Geezer (1-8)

February 3rd, 2020

20:00

Ben and Nick are the loveliest idiots this side of a place with lovlier idiots.

They talk and talk and talk, and never prepare what they're going to say. They do exactly what it says on the tin.

The question is where …

Sunday Sport (1-7)

February 3rd, 2020

20:00

Ben and Nick have an uncanny and at times breathtaking ability to extemporise with alarming perspicuity on the particular zeitgeist.

They also tell …

Glass Half Empty (1-6)

February 3rd, 2020

20:00

Ben and Nick are now world-renowned for their deep and meaningful. Universal lauded as two of the countries brightest.

Here are things they say to …

The Road to Hell (1-5)

February 3rd, 2020

20:00

The fifth installment of Ben and Nick, saying words. Topics include driving, cereal, and the secret to a happy life.

Listen to it and you will have a Happy Life*.

*happy life not guaranteed.

Bring Back Nick Ross (1-4)

February 3rd, 2020

20:00

The fourth installment of what goes on between the ears of Ben & Nick is ready for the world to hear. Listen to it. Go on. Please.

Fruit of Our Loins (1-3)

February 3rd, 2020

20:00

Again, Ben and Nick speak whatever comes out of their mouths. Occasional genius. Occasional drivel. You decide!

Misinterpretation (1-2)

February 3rd, 2020

20:00

Ben and Nick can't help spouting more of whatever comes into their heads!

The Beginning (1-1)

January 22nd, 2020

20:00

Ben and Nick start talking right here for your amusement and enjoyment.

NB - amusement and enjoyment not guaranteed!

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