Cover art for podcast Welcome To My Show

Welcome To My Show

66 EpisodesProduced by Michele GuildWebsite

An improvised "comedy" variety show that focuses on embracing the terrible things in the world! From bad dates, freaky finds on Craigslist, and conspiracy theories, to phone calls home to mom, this show has everything you've never asked for and more!Visit us at for more garbage… read more

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66 - Now n Later

October 15th, 2019


Lets get caught up on life's trials and tribulations as I continually embarrass myself and eat weird foods!

ALSO celebrate good times with me by …

65 - The 90s

October 9th, 2019


This week we venture into the Garbage Kitchen by placing a shameful pizza delivery order. Then we talk music and reminisce about the 90s and chat …

64 - Decisions

October 1st, 2019


This week I try to figure things out by talking myself through them and solving nothing!
Other things are discussed but honestly I recorded this a …

63 - Amazing, Right?

September 17th, 2019


This week I just didn’t write a description lol ok enjoy!

ALSO celebrate good times with me by checking out the glorious misfits of the Civilized …

62 - A Whole Egg

September 10th, 2019


GUYS MY LIFE IS DIFFERENT. I will use this new boyfriend for good and not evil. Listen to me talk about my life for way too long, all while suffering through subpar audio as I drive to my parents' house in the rain and …

61 - Bless You

August 27th, 2019


This week we discuss the origin of the phrase "bless you" and why I'm not allowed to say it, dating woes, carnival disasters, drunk kids, being mistaken for a freshman, and my love of the podcast community. It also gets …

60 - The World Already Ended

August 20th, 2019


Sorry 4 screaming, I'm super riled up and ready to fight this week for some reason, which made for some much needed ranting.
Listen to me scream about my job, baby boomers, ice cream snitches (no, …

59 - Your New Favorite Movie

August 13th, 2019


Welcome to Episode 59! This. Episode. Has. EVERYTHING

Violence! Crimes against people of all ages! Gypsies! Child endangerment! Goats! Creepy old …

58 - Serve Me at Your Wedding

August 6th, 2019


Welcome to Episode 58! Shoot me in the face and serve me up at your wedding, boys!

Today we talk about Facebook scare-moms and their stupid scare …

57 - How I Saved the Planet by Recycling

July 30th, 2019


Welcome to Episode 57 - How I Saved the Planet by Recycling

*WINK* I didn't save sHiiiiTTtt including the audio file I was in the middle of when my …

56 - Incels and Aliens

July 23rd, 2019


Hey guys, Michele here to apologize for my big fat potty mouth this episode. Count all the F bombs to win a prize of NOTHING. WELCOME TO THE REAL …

55 - Lookin Like A Snack

July 16th, 2019



The moral of this weeks show is that sometimes good things happen to sh*tty people :)

Get your FREE Audible 30 Day trial at

54 - I Love That B*tch

July 9th, 2019


If you couldn't tell from the title, this episode is obviously dedicated to my grandmother.

This week we discuss tasty ocean life, risky dating …


July 2nd, 2019



Happy birthday America! Let’s blow off our responsibilities and our hands!

This week we talk about my personal hell living with my cat and we do a patriotic duet that will make you want to be …

52 - Throwing Bricks into a Highway

June 25th, 2019


In this episode of Welcome to my Show, we go over the dark backstory of why the show exists. Also, and more interestingly, we discuss cat induced trauma, tips and tricks on how to get arrested and make it the most …

51 - Electrocute Me Daddy

June 18th, 2019


Welcome to Episode 51: Electrocute Me Daddy (not Father's Day related, wow awkward timing)

Today we discuss really bad things and really good things! Bohemian Rhapsody, Octomom, Pride Fest, friend breakups, Nathan For …

50 - It's From the Asparagus

June 11th, 2019


Episode 50: It’s From the Asparagus

We’re changing it up a bit for our 50th episode and beyond! New music, new segments, same old Trash Michele!

49 - Ice in my Veins

June 4th, 2019


Welcome to Episode 49: Ice in my Veins

What’s it called when you embarrass yourself by means of another person? Well, I don’t know, but I have an opinion.

This week I break down my emotional journey through the great …

48 - Fascinating

May 28th, 2019


Welcome to Episode 48 - Fascinating!

This week I get a little crazy and make an impromptu phone call to my psychotic stalker/scam artist from Nigeria …

47 - Urban Legends

May 21st, 2019


This week we go exploring and learn about urban legends throughout North America including murderous rabbits, smelly yetis, axe murderers, and more! We also get a grand update on the whereabouts of my Nigerian …

46 - Starbucks Bullsh*t

May 14th, 2019


In Episode 46 we find the answers to life's toughest questions.

Can vampires become sexually aroused? Does Tony Hawk exist? Will middle aged moms camp out for Starbucks' newest gimmick? Does cheese give you nightmares? …

45 - Diet Cherry Vanilla Smile Lite Zero

May 8th, 2019


It’s Mental F*ckery Awareness Month and this week is all about me telling you to smile more, but in the least degrading way possible! Ok that’s not what it’s all about. I also tell you about a crazy Nigerian scammer …

44 - Emptying the Junk Drawer

April 30th, 2019


Welcome to Episode 44!

This week is the perfect mix of negativity and positivity. We discuss phone calls from Mickey Mouse, popcorn snafus, good music, weird stuff I found in my junk drawer, my stupid cat, using water …

43 - The Happiest Place on Earth

April 24th, 2019


This week we discuss those dang dead pigs, crazy Russian experiments from the 40s, the most amazing and most deadly amusement park ever, and my plan for when time travel becomes a possibility.

.:.Drinking game for this …

42 - Dating Purgatory

April 16th, 2019


Episode 42:

This week we talk Post Office arguments, being overwhelmed, bad dates, how to reciprocate a compliment, and escaping purgatory. PLUS join me as I eat a bunch of random things from a Korean grocery store.

41 - It's 2019, Everyones Suffering

April 10th, 2019


This week I spill too much information about my personal life thanks to tequila and energy drinks, soak up my sorrows in dollar store potato chips, …

40 - Peter

April 3rd, 2019


This week I welcome Peter from Audible Farm Podcast to my show! I feed him mystery treats from the Garbage Kitchen and then ask if he has any allergies. We also go bobbing for Craigslist Missed Connections and discuss …

39 - Picking Up Chicks at the Post Office

March 27th, 2019


This week, listen as Michele delivers subpar audio in her car while driving to visit her parents and collaborate with a fellow podcaster, Peter …

38 - No Means No

March 20th, 2019


Welcome to Episode 38: No Means No

This is a very important episode for me. I had a chance to thank all the very amazing, extremely supportive people in my life who have helped me make some important and tough decisions …

37 - Happy Clam, One!

March 13th, 2019


Welcome to the first installment of the show-within-a-show called Happy Clam! The show all about positivity and the little things in life that bring us joy!
This week I talk about finding joy in daylight savings, tiny …

36 - Underwear Bandit

March 6th, 2019


Welcome to another bad week on Welcome To My Show, the show!
Titanic tangents, underwear blunders, and infiltrated work outings. All of this and so …

35 - Lend a Helping Handjob

February 27th, 2019


This week on my bad show, we discuss getting pulled over, a very bad way to spend your February, bad bathroom behavior, a quick re-visit of Fyre Fest …

34 - I don't like anything.

February 20th, 2019


Episode 34: I don't like anything.

This raw and uncut episode brought to you entirely by my laziness!

This week I discuss therapy alternatives, Texperiences ('Texas experiences' for the uneducated listeners), my own …

33 - Irresponsible Sandwich

February 12th, 2019


This week I ate sandwiches irresponsibly. Don't tell my mom or my seven year old self. You know what, don't tell my future self either. I'm hoping to …

32 - Dollar Store Petting Zoo

February 6th, 2019


Welcome to Episode 32: Dollar Store Petting Zoo! This week’s show is about, well, when have my titles ever steered you wrong? With the cold weather …

1,000,000 - I'm a Fraud

January 30th, 2019


This week I tell a horrible story about a very bad lie I told. Also, I deep dive into the failed Fyre Festival, …

30 - Nobody Cares About Your Birthday

January 23rd, 2019


Welcome to another show! This week is all about dangerous things such as opposite day, gender reveal parties, self-inflicted amputations, and so much more!

Suggested talking points:
The dangers of opposite day, a PSA
It’s …

29 - Horror D'oeuvres

January 16th, 2019


This week I indulge in an old favorite pastime as I create Franken-snacks and beg for death to end the pain caused by these terrible concoctions. The …

28 - Just Another Maniac Monday

January 9th, 2019


Yuck. This episode is one nasty boi. From start to finish, from A to sloppy Z, it’s an ick-fest. This pod has everything: Blood, guts, a baby, dinosaurs, and Capri Sun.

Suggested Talking Points:
Horrible Stories
Post …

27 - Happy Holidays or Whatever

December 31st, 2018


This week I apologize to a pizza business and tell horrible stories of past holidays. Enjoy!

Suggested talking points:
New Years Eve
Alcohol …

26 - Welcome to Denny

December 19th, 2018


This week is a tornado of internet disasters and drama. Who's child will be stolen and sold into sex slavery this week on Welcome To My Show?! Listen …

25 - Pleasant Surprises

December 12th, 2018


Episode 25: Pleasant Surprises

In this, the first quarter-quell of Welcome To My Show, we throw away the rule book and go completely rogue. An old …

24 - on FOX

December 5th, 2018


Presently on Welcome To My Show, Special Agent Jack Bauer has Michele hack into the mainframe of her past to handle a few unanswered questions, we revisit two long lost and beloved segments; Garbage Kitchen and …

23 - A Billion Little Hotdogs

November 28th, 2018


Will the spirit of Prince ever find the lost rabbits? What do you get when you crossbreed a dog with a flounder? Will Michele ever go a week without …

22 - Baby's First ASMR Thanksgiving Special

November 21st, 2018


This week we play with some classics and also introduce a new segment that may go down in history as one of the best. Happy Thanksgiving, now give me …

21 - Run Away From Your Responsibilities

November 14th, 2018


Welcome to my show, now say goodbye to everything you've ever known. I take you on an adventure and regale you with some of my own trials, …

20 - My Mom Tried To Poison Me [NOT CLICKBAIT]

November 7th, 2018


I never thought it would happen to me: reaching episode 20 and also my mom trying to poison me REAL AUDIO EVIDENCE

Suggested Talking Points:
- Blind …

19 - Real True Scary Stories

October 31st, 2018


Episode 19: Real True Scary Stories
This week, my very special guest friend and I share some fun, spooky, and at times, overwhelming scary stories from our lives.

Suggested talking points:
-9/11 2: Another One
-Bigfoot …

18 - Ass

October 24th, 2018


This episode has everything you're looking for; crazy children, Gordon Ramsay again, ghosts, booty, ghost booty, celebrities, and the regularly …

17 - Ten Reasons Why I Hate You

October 16th, 2018


It's getting closer to the spookiest holiday of the year and I'm here help you get in the mood. We dip into the spookiest part of Craigslist, tell …

16 - Bad Dudes

October 10th, 2018


This week we face some real issues and I share a few personal stories and find comedy in tragedy. Then we hop over to Craigslist for a Halloween …

15 - Friends Eating Garbage

October 3rd, 2018


Michele and special guest Justin Comer of iHearIC share a few laughs, handful of stories, and a plateful of bugs and other gross garbage that we …

14 - Let's Talk About D*ck

September 26th, 2018


This week Michele spills more tea than 1773 Boston, gives you an update on Mr. Jay, discusses the perils of her oncoming old-age, visits Craigslist, …

13 - When God Closes a Door, He Opens a Mexican Restaurant

September 19th, 2018


This week is a lesson on faith and salsa but mostly salsa. I taste some more nasty yucks and a few tasty yums. PLUS I have a special surprise guest …

12 - How to Die Using the Internet

September 12th, 2018


This episode of Welcome To My Show is dedicated to broke losers. Michele drinks wine, dives into the naughty bits of Craigslist, whines about her pathetic existence, and eats some gross stuff. It’s sort of like ASMR, …

11 - Should I Call This Episode Kitchen Wet Dreams or Gordon Rams Me

September 5th, 2018


Welcome to my very first car-cast experience, coming to you live from the rigid roads of Iowa and promising nothing but shitty audio and even shittier entertainment. Critics have been saying "Michele's Randy Newman …

10- I’m Not Like a Regular Mom, I'm a Cool Janitor

August 29th, 2018


This week on Welcome To My Show, my brother and I play an impromptu game to see how well we remember each other's childhoods, we talk about fun memories we share, and I saved the day when I removed 40 minutes of The …

9- We'll Love Fortune

August 22nd, 2018


After a three day sickness consumed me, I take it easy this week with some highly reputable readings of the palm, the foot, and the future. Plus some …

8 - Set My Heart on Fieri

August 15th, 2018


I made the decision to ask my listeners what they wanted to hear and I don't want to talk about it. Long story short - things get sexy, wet, wild, raunchy, and disgusting with a few Food Network faves. Oh and I talk …

7 - Wastin' Away Again in Radioactive Nuclear Falloutville

August 7th, 2018


This week my two special guests are the musically talented duo of pals, Justin Comer and David Clair. I forced them to play a game that I vaguely …

6 - XTREME botany

July 31st, 2018


This week I actually, finally, give you the opportunity to learn something! Learn a few tips on plant care and see what kinds of plants we'd like to consume. Also, we play a few games, learn some new words, and …

5 - Pixar Presents: Toilet Story

July 23rd, 2018


This is part one of a two part episode with Eli, the plant expert! In Part One we talk about everything but plants and mostly just discuss hypothetical toilet scenarios. ENJOY!

🧀Pod links

4 - Let's Get Illuminasty

July 15th, 2018


This week, Michele details her interactions with the Illuminati and her process of getting into the secret society, all while trying not to fall in love.

🧀Pod links


3 - Hot Cheetos in Coloreedo

July 8th, 2018


This week I'm on a mountain vacation with my family. My (quite hilarious) brother and his awesome girlfriend were kind enough to join me this week …

2 - Lunar Moons and Bean Balloons

July 2nd, 2018


My special guest this week is Aaron, an expert in video gaming and awkward social situations. Listen as I force feed him tequila shots and we play some games I made up.

🧀Pod links

1 - Vacations and Vaccinations

June 26th, 2018


In episode one of the show, our very first guest is my mom! She is an expert at momming and we have a few laughs as we talk about mom issues, annoying Facebook groups, sad cabbage meals, and how not to rid your cat of …

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