Cover art for podcast Unbitten: A Journey Through the Twilight Saga

Unbitten: A Journey Through the Twilight Saga

41 EpisodesProduced by TwilightWebsite

One of us has never read Twilight before, and the other is a self-proclaimed expert. Join us in taking a bite out of Twilight for the first time (or come back for your 17th time!) as we go chapter by chapter through the series.

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Ep 41 - Eclipse Preface and Ch 1: Bella Deals With Man-Pain

December 6th, 2021


It feels like years since we started New Moon, but we are finally done and moving on to book 3: Eclipse! Join us as we reiterate Charlie's stupidity …

Ep 40 - New Moon Movie: Daddy Sorry Daddy Sorry Ft. Goblet of Wine

November 22nd, 2021


After finishing the book at last we finally get to watch the movie for New Moon! Joining us for this special movie episode are Charlie and Hannah from Goblet of Wine (A drunken Harry Potter podcast). While thirsting for …

Ep 39 - New Moon Ch 24 and Epilogue: Edward like, REALLY sucks

November 8th, 2021


Oh my god!! We finally finished another book! Join us as we round out our reading of New Moon with, you guessed it, getting really annoyed with Edward and Jacob! Also, animal crossing news, our lives falling apart, and …

Ep. 38 - New Moon Ch 23: Call Your Friend a MILF

October 18th, 2021


If you wanted us to yell about Edward for almost an entire episode then this is it! From so called apologies, to weird guilt tripping we are HERE to …

Ep 37 - New Moon Ch 22: Bella Does Cocaine

October 4th, 2021


Covering chapter 22 of New Moon this week which means talking about anything other than the book! Casting choices for the new Mario movie are questionable, Cam recommends an opera about a frat boy to everyone and we …

Ep 36 - New Moon Ch 21: Vampires are like Onions

September 20th, 2021


We are done prerecording and are back to our usually scheduled nonsense! Join Em and Cam as we discuss our new living situations, dive into some fun …

Ep. 35 - New Moon Ch. 20: Eddie is BACK

September 6th, 2021


Join us on episode 35 where we talk about some actual good media for about 5 minutes before remembering we are a Twilight podcast. Cam declares she will go back in time to prevent bad 2000's fashion, we criticize the …

Ep. 34 - New Moon Ch 19: Sheeeeeesh

August 23rd, 2021


Because of contractual obligations we did have to do an episode about the worst chapter in this book, chapter 19 which is nothing but a series of flights and Bella being upset. In a surprising twist Cam actually does …

Ep 33 - New Moon Ch. 18: Bella IS Stinky

August 9th, 2021


In this episode of Unbitten we cover chapter 18 of New Moon and discuss Bella's constant need to apologize, how Jacob is a shitty friend and …

Ep 32 - New Moon Ch 17: Team Bella Needs Therapy

July 26th, 2021


In this episode of Unbitten, we discuss chapter 17 of New Moon and approaching plot! Alice is here and we are so glad for it. We question how Alice's visions work, see that Jacob is a shitty friend and at last we get …

Ep 31 - New Moon Ch 16: Hot Take! Sucks to be Dead!

July 12th, 2021


This week, Em and Cam talk about literally anything other than New Moon. Okay, well, we do talk about New Moon. But there are lots of tangents, including but not limited to Monsters Inc, Fortnite, and a …

Ep 30 - New Moon Ch. 15: Dad Bod Werewolves

June 28th, 2021


In this spicy episode covering chapter 15 of New Moon we get into a deep discussion on how to improve werewolves, thoughts toxic relationships and …

Ep 29 - New Moon Ch. 14: Cam Galaxy Brains

June 14th, 2021


In this episode, Cam figures out the entire plot of the series. For real. Go listen, we're not even kidding.

Ep 28 - New Moon Ch. 13: Man in Manual Wheelchair

May 31st, 2021


Cam and Em release their full unhinged energy in discussing chapter 13 where we spend more time talking about anything else but the book. Emily does …

Ep 27 - New Moon Ch 12: Bella Decides to Think

May 17th, 2021


Welcome back! This week, both of our idiot protagonists decide to make attempts at intelligent thought, Bella's dreams get too OP, and Jacob has a strange but fitting kink. Also, Bella is a limp noodle and Sam is …

Ep 26 - New Moon Ch. 11: New Man Same Problems

May 3rd, 2021


Join us in an (finally) exciting chapter with questionable cult activities, a confrontation in the woods, a man who hates that he's a monster - wait …

Ep 25 - New Moon Ch 10: Plot, FINALLY!

April 19th, 2021


Cam and Em are both a year older and a year dumber, and they are back to talk more about New Moon. In Chapter 10 we finally get some plot, run into a …

Ep 24 - New Moon Ch 9: Sweaty Swamp Hands

April 5th, 2021


It's ARIES SEASON!!! Welcome back for a chapter filled with awkward encounters and secondhand embarrassment - that's right, it's chapter 9 of New Moon! Once again we find ourselves asking when will Mike stop as we tread …

EP 23 - New Moon Ch 8: Sam Uley T-Posing in the Background

March 22nd, 2021


Once again we are asking for Bella to get some help. Chapter 8 takes us through a lesson on motorcycle parts, Cam simping for shirtless Jacob, and a 5 minute quest to figure out how a compass and grid pattern might work.

Ep 22 - New Moon Ch 7: Straights on Thin Fucking Ice

March 8th, 2021


In episode 22 we cover Chapter 7 of New Moon: Repetition. There's a lot to unpack in this episode: primarily learning that Emily doesn't know how to …

Ep 21 - New Moon Ch 6: Bella's Dump Truck Ass

February 22nd, 2021


Join us as we cover chapter 6 and delve into why we are now Team Jacob, Bella's depression and why Emily is so fragile she teared up three times in this chapter. Sometimes its just nice for people to have nice things in …

Ep 20 - New Moon Ch 5: Billy is a Dance Mom

February 8th, 2021


Somebody please get Bella some therapy!!! Or she can just be a bad bitch and get a motorcycle. Basically the same thing, right? Thank you to Jacob Black and Jacob Black only for being a likeable character and 6 foot 5.

Ep 19 - New Moon Ch 4: The Return of the Filler

January 25th, 2021


In which we somehow spend an hour talking about a 25 page chapter where almost nothing happens except for Bella being depressed and reckless. We …

Ep 18 - New Moon Ch 3: Real F*ckboi Hours

January 11th, 2021


Enjoy what is essentially an hour long rant about Edward Cullen being trash and MEN DON'T BE LIKE THIS! We might have shed a real actual emotional …

Ep 17 - New Moon Chs. 1+2: Oh lore?

December 14th, 2020


New book time!! Em's cat Fergus has many cameos, we discuss once again just how hot and good Carlisle and Alice are, and Cam continues to realize just how different real vampire lore is from Sims vampire lore. TW: In …

Unbitten Episode 16: Twilight Movie Part 3

November 30th, 2020


The finale episode of Twilight! Baseball scene, the weird acrobatics of the ballet studio fight, and questionable 2000s fashion! Thanks again to our guest Lauren for sitting through 3 hours of recording with us <3

Unbitten Episode 15: Twilight Movie Part 2

November 16th, 2020


Simp city 2: electric boogaloo aka Twilight movie pt. 2 with special guest Lauren!

Unbitten Episode 14: Twilight Movie Part 1

November 3rd, 2020


Finally it is here! Part one of delving into the movie universe of Twilight and the epitome of Robert Pattinson simping. Joining us for these movie episodes is special guest, our friend, Lauren! We did the thing we …

Unbitten Episode 13: Twilight Epilogue

October 19th, 2020


We cap off the Twilight book by talking about prom for half the episode, and then Cameron has a coughing fit. Don't worry, she lives! But will Bella …

Unbitten Episode 12: Twilight Ch. 23 and 24

October 3rd, 2020


The end is near, chapters 23 and 24 with the good angst, heart monitor shenanigans and questions of Edward's sexual prowess.

Unbitten Episode 11: Twilight Ch. 21 and 22

September 12th, 2020


In chapters 21 and 22, we finally have real plot! It's a truly exciting time! Also, Warrior Cats, again.

Unbitten Episode 10: Twilight Ch. 19 and 20

August 29th, 2020


Join Cameron and Emily in such wonderings as: Can you ferment blood? Can bears turn into vampire bears? It's chapters 19 and 20 of Twilight!

Unbitten Episode 9: Twilight Ch. 17 and 18

August 23rd, 2020


WE HAVE NEW MICROPHONES!!!! Oh, and also, sh*t hits the fan.

Unbitten Episode 8: Twilight Ch. 15 and 16

August 14th, 2020


Chapters 15 and 16 take us on a journey to the Cullen house. ....Wait how old is Daddy Carlisle?! 

Unbitten Episode 7: Twilight Ch. 13 and 14

August 8th, 2020


Finally the meadow scene and sparkly boy! It's chapters 13 and 14 of Twilight. Join us in hotly debated Milk Discourse, the mechanics of Vampire sex, and is Edward choking Bella? It's Unbitten episode 7!

Unbitten Episode 6: Twilight Ch. 11 and 12

August 1st, 2020


Closet door drama, The 1997 film Gattaca and sexual tension, and more questionable chapter titles. Join Cameron and Emily on chapters 11 and 12 of Twilight!

Unbitten Episode 5: Twilight Ch. 9 and 10

July 25th, 2020


This week we discuss chapters 9 and 10 of Twilight and discover who is the "can math gay" and who is the "can't math gay". One thing is for sure and that is S. Meyer can't math at all. 

Unbitten Episode 4: Twilight Ch. 7 and 8

July 18th, 2020


Join us as we talk about Chapters 7 and 8 of Twilight. 

Unbitten Episode 3: Twilight Ch. 5 and 6

July 11th, 2020


Blood typing OMG and... Jacob is THAT young? 

Unbitten Episode 2: Twilight Ch. 3 and 4

July 2nd, 2020


We hit up chapters 3 and 4. We are snarky as usual. There are Warrior Cats references and a killer Snape impression. It's Unbitten Episode two!

Unbitten Episode 1: Twilight Ch. 1 and 2

July 2nd, 2020


In this first episode of our new podcast, join Cameron (first time reader) and Emily (long time fan) in reading Twilight chapters 1 and 2.

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