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This Is Actually Happening

124 EpisodesProduced by WonderyWebsite

What if your mother left to follow a cult… or you woke up in a morgue… or if your boat got caught in a storm and began to sink -- what would you do?   This is Actually Happening brings you extraordinary true stories of life-changing events told by the people who lived them. From a man who finds out … read more

124 Episodes | 2019 - 2022


May 11th, 2022


Introducing the true crime podcast Badlands— a show that dives deep into the real stories of the famous at their most infamous.

Each season, host Jake Brennan, explores the real life crimes and scandalous careers of the …

234: What if your joy came with a tragic price?

May 10th, 2022


“To feel like at any moment something tragic could happen put me in a deep, deep cloud as far as who I am, what can I be, and what could I have been.”

233: What if they invaded your home?

May 3rd, 2022


“It honestly felt like my whole life had just gone from this amazing color filled motion picture to just going into something so black and white…just …

232: What if you committed a hate crime?

April 26th, 2022


“The feeling of unknowing while you’re going through that is probably the strongest, most terrifying feeling I’ve ever felt.”


Today’s episode featured Matt Boman. You can find out more about Matt on Instagram

231: What if they all betrayed you?

April 19th, 2022


“I was just terrified, just the not knowing what was happening or what was even going on in my own body…and I was so confused and hurt and scared.”


Producers: Whit Missildine, Sara Marinelli


Episode Summary: Just before …

230: What if you discovered you were the enemy?

April 12th, 2022


“It’s just terror, it’s just fear with no object…It’s so purely guttural and instinctive it’s almost like the prey of a tiger…the moment that it knows it’s about to be ripped apart.”

Today's episode featured Neil Woods. …

229: What if your life unraveled thread by thread?

April 5th, 2022


“I felt like I went through a portal into this evil place…and I immediately knew that we were in a whole different world.”


Today’s storyteller …

228: What if you grew up with the ghosts of war?

March 29th, 2022


“Because so much of my life when I’d seen things happening I’d been told that it wasn’t really happening, I think my brain kind of formed to think …

227: What if you faced a terrifying beast?

March 22nd, 2022


“What it felt like was - I am absolutely here, but this is not happening to us…This is not happening at all.”


Today’s episode featured John W. Evans. …

226: What if you had three different faces?

March 15th, 2022


“I would look in the mirror and my eyes wouldn’t focus because it was like my brain wasn’t registering that that was me…I literally saw a stranger in …

225: What if you stared into the abyss?

March 8th, 2022


“People who are grieving a serious loss, and you’re staring into the abyss, they understand intimately the loss that we are all going to face, what we all will see.”

Today's episode featured Frank Vaughan. If you'd like …

224: What if they stole your childhood?

March 1st, 2022


“I didn’t get a chance to know who I was or who I should have become, and I will never know that person.”


Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits


223: What if you were the dirty little secret?

February 22nd, 2022


“Now I know that half of me it’s a lie where does that leave me who am I who is this person it’s like you entirely lose your identity and I feel like I almost have to start again to figure out who I am because I lost …

222: What if you were a stranger in your own home?

February 15th, 2022


“If life is so fragile, death can come to you anytime any day in any place.”


Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits


Episode Summary: A man who always felt like he didn’t belong in his own house wakes up one morning to …

221: What if you were addicted to each other?

February 8th, 2022


“All that stuff I went through, the abuse, the physical, verbal, everything was not rock bottom for me….Me realizing that I was being abusive to people I loved, that was my rock bottom.”


Producers: Whit Missildine, …

220: What if they died in your hands?

February 1st, 2022


“I just thought this is not happening, like how could this be happening? This isn’t supposed to happen…I felt like it was my fault.”


Producers: Whit …

219: What if you bled to death?

January 25th, 2022


“It’s never given that you’re going to be here tomorrow or in the next hour. You’ve got to respect that and you’ve got to live your life accordingly.”


Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock


Episode Summary: A man …

218: What if the family glue came undone?

January 18th, 2022


“Is this really happening? Like, is this really my reality? I’m questioning myself as to whether or not I was crazy and had I really seen what I just saw.”

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits


Episode Summary:

217: What if you saw the face of death?

January 11th, 2022


“We are not necessarily who we think we are…There are more paradoxes in life than things that make sense.”


Today’s episode featured Kim. You can find out more about her and her writings at her Myth and Medicine blog on …

What if the Devil was battling for your mind? [Rebroadcast - #116]

January 4th, 2022


“What I feared the most was that these episodes would continue to increase until that’s the world I was living in, in this other nonsensical world …

What if everything turned to mayhem? [Rebroadcast - #110]

December 28th, 2021


"It was absolutely like a nightmare. At the same time you're realizing you're never going to wake up from this nightmare because this is real life."

What if you uncovered the family secret? [Rebroadcast - #118]

December 21st, 2021


“The first thing that I felt was invaded, like I physically wanted out of my skin. I didn’t know who the other half of me was….My whole body was …

216: What if you opened Pandora's Box?

December 14th, 2021


“Time stopped while my brain was trying to catch up, and I was horrified I was confused I was bewildered I was panicked…just a wave of all of that …

215: What if you faced the monster in the mirror?

December 7th, 2021


“I was like a walking dead. I was just a shell, but I couldn’t stop…my soul was gone.”


Producer: Whit Missildine

Guest: Kenneth Ginlack Sr.


Episode …

214: What if you woke up in oblivion?

November 30th, 2021


“My life is so much more fragile than I thought it was, and my existence goes beyond this tiny little place that I live in.”


Today’s episode featured Jenna. You can find out more about her on Instagram @jennajacqueline.


213: What if they were murdered trying to protect you?

November 23rd, 2021


“It just got too hurtful to think of him in the ground and me still alive…I couldn’t understand the meaning in it.”

Today’s episode featured Hayley …

211: What if you had to let her go to save yourself?

November 9th, 2021


“I honestly think that if the mom I grew up with hadn’t given me such a great sense of self-esteem, I don’t think I would have lasted as long under …

210: What if you didn't know where they were taking you?

November 2nd, 2021


“I kept thinking there’s no way that God is going to let this happen to me…What could I have done in my life to deserve what’s going on right now.”


208: What if you ran through the pain?

October 19th, 2021


“It was like I was in a whole other universe for like five to ten minutes just walking around, like I couldn’t function, I didn’t know what to do.”


207: What if you faced the ultimate betrayal?

October 12th, 2021


“Your whole sense of reality has been shaken so much that you question what is even real any more.”


Today's episode featured Melissa. You can find …

206: What if no one believed you?

October 5th, 2021


“The best way I can explain how it feels to not be believed is just profound loneliness…To not know where to turn to seek advice or to get a hug, I …

The Long Shadow: Bonus - Interview with Whit Missildine and Dan Taberski

September 30th, 2021


Producers: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: Whit Missildine, host of This Is Actually Happening and The Long Shadow, and Dan Taberski, host of Missing Richard Simmons and 9/12, discuss 9/11 and their approaches to their …

205: The Long Shadow: What if you processed the remains?

September 28th, 2021


“The surrealism of the experience just it was hard to fathom…here we were in a clothing store being asked to do these sort of impossible thing.”


Producers: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: In the aftermath of September …

204: The Long Shadow: What if you fought the fire?

September 21st, 2021


“You try not to think about the fact that you really think you’re going to die here…that it’s totally out of control.”


Producers: Whit Missildine, …

203: The Long Shadow: What if you were on the 68th floor?

September 14th, 2021


“It’s not like there was time to ponder your fate…you just thought, we’re powerless to get out of the building….This is it.”


Producers: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: A Port Authority employee narrowly escapes from the …

202: The Long Shadow: What if you ran the ER five blocks away?

September 7th, 2021


“The world looks like it’s coming to an end, and another cloud comes over…Everything goes dark, and the world is covered in dust.”


Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits

Episode Summary: On September 11th, 2001 an ER …

201: What if you believed it was all your fault?

August 31st, 2021


“There’s really no way to explain how it feels when you realize one decision you made in an instant altered the life of everyone around you.”


Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits


Episode Summary: A woman who finally …

200: What if you were consumed by your only cure?

August 24th, 2021


“All the reality that I had been putting off, and all of the denial, it all crashed in on me.”


Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock

Episode Summary: Growing up in the closet with a mentally ill mother, a man finds …

199: What if your deepest friendship was your darkest fate?

August 17th, 2021


“I was too ashamed to reach out and say, ‘Look, I don’t understand what’s happening, I think I’m going crazy…please help me.’”


Producers: Whit …

198: What if you rescued everyone to save yourself?

August 10th, 2021


“When I knew I was dying, I knew that I wasn’t going to have the anxiety or the OCD brain, it was just going to be over.”


Producers: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: A woman with severe harm OCD encounters the many faces …

197: What if you died?

August 3rd, 2021


“That’s me, and I’m dead. But if that’s me, then who am I?”


Producers: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: After surviving a brutal upbringing in the …

What if you survived a genocide? [Rebroadcast - #113]

July 27th, 2021


"No one can even understand. You can't measure the magnitude of that pain. You can't measure the pain that we went through."


Producer: Whit Missildine


Episode Summary: A refugee recounts her experience of the horror and …

What if you had a ten-year nightmare? [Rebroadcast - #103]

July 20th, 2021


"The hardest part is that I still don't have any answers...what came into my house that night?"


Producer: Whit Missildine


Episode Summary: A musician is sideswiped by a sudden break into a nightmarish world that will …

What if you transitioned into an alternate reality? [Rebroadcast - #124]

July 13th, 2021


“It’s almost as if like I could feel my whole self just changing at this point and just changing in the way that I trust people…and questioning …

What if the happiest place on earth was your worst nightmare? [Rebroadcast - #79]

July 6th, 2021


“It’s almost like you can’t stand the meaninglessness of the situation, and so you justify it by saying ‘well this must be all my fault.'”



What if her ex-boyfriend tried to kill you? [Rebroadcast - #114]

June 29th, 2021


“All of a sudden within a hundred meters of your house that’s where the worst thing happens and suddenly the world becomes different…you can’t go back to who you were.”


Producer: Whit Missildine


Episode Summary: A man …

196: What if you went missing?

June 22nd, 2021


“It was just full chills over my body, tears in my eyes, it was that moment of I don’t know, I don’t understand, I don’t know.”


Producers: Whit …

195: What if you never stopped searching?

June 15th, 2021


“The not knowing is awful, and it’s awful from day one and it’s awful thirty years later, but every day that goes by you get more and more in …

194: What if you ran but couldn't hide?

June 8th, 2021


“It planted a seed in my mind that has never ever gone away even now that people might not be who they say they are.”


Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits


Episode Summary: A woman is haunted by a relentless threat …

193: What if your deepest secret was shared with the world?

June 1st, 2021


“I felt like I was sort of drifting along as something besides human, like I had stepped onto another planet inside my head.”


Producers: Whit Missildine


Episode Summary: A man haunted by an early childhood trauma …

192: What if one wrong turn meant life or death?

May 25th, 2021


“You are in absolute darkness, and until you are in that kind of situation it’s hard to understand what darkness is.”


Producers: Whit Missildine


191: What if you suffered from trichotillomania?

May 18th, 2021


“The person who was pulling was just stronger than the person who wanted a perfect life.”


Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits


Episode Summary:

190: What if your fairytale was finally within reach?

May 11th, 2021


“I was really lost and I was so incredibly desperate for someone to love me…and to fill the void that had kind of been opened in me .”



189: What if you couldn't stop shining?

May 4th, 2021


“That feeling that you get when you find out an important piece of information, that ‘aha moment’ was happening constantly. I felt as if somebody put my brain into a microwave.”


Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits


188: What if you spent four years inside?

April 27th, 2021


“I was just left fighting this invisible thing inside me, the root of which I didn’t know.”


Producers: Whit Missildine


Episode Summary: A woman grows up with an idyllic childhood in Scotland, when a phobia of mysterious …

187: What if you were trapped all over again?

April 20th, 2021


“In horror movies there’s this beautiful moment for the protagonist where the monster’s real, everyone can see it…but a lot of times in real life, …

186: What if you were consumed by a preposterous phobia?

April 13th, 2021


“I cannot get over the fact that this actually happened. It felt strangely prophetic.”


Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits


Episode Summary: Growing up with an unreliable mother, a woman develops severe OCD with …

185: What if you kept shaking hands with death?

April 6th, 2021


“I was forced into being vulnerable, I was forced into being present, I was forced into existing suddenly with my lights turned on.”


Producers: Whit …

184: What if you didn't know who he was?

March 30th, 2021


“No matter how hard you fight against having no change in your life, it’s going to come anyway.”


Producers: Whit Missildine


Episode Summary: Growing up in an environment of constant change, a woman vows to find a …

183: What if everyone was watching you?

March 23rd, 2021


“If you could imagine having thoughts that frightened you, then other times they made you believe things about your perception or what you were …

182: What if your daughter committed a seemingly unforgivable act?

March 16th, 2021


“I close my eyes even to this day reliving it over and over in my head like, ‘Did that really happen?’ I wasn’t for sure that it was really real.”


Producer: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits


Episode Summary: A mother …

181: What if you committed a seemingly unforgivable act?

March 9th, 2021


“I just kept saying ‘I don’t know, I’m sorry, I don’t know, it’s all my fault. I can’t believe I just did that,’… I’m in disbelief.”


Producer: Whit …

180: What if your plane was hijacked?

March 2nd, 2021


“Time just did not exist, the only thing that existed was decisions.”


Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason Blalock


Episode Summary: A young woman’s first trip to reconnect with her homeland in Ethiopia takes a terrifying …

179: What if a horrifying loss led to a grand adventure?

February 23rd, 2021


“I saw myself in the mirror, and it was like seeing a CGI character…I’m sitting here looking at this frail person that looks nothing like me.”


Producer: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits


Episode Summary: A horrific accident …

178: What if you couldn't tell him what really happened?

February 16th, 2021


“Will I ever be able to be one of them ever again, or am I just like an alien now?”


Producer: Whit Missildine


Episode Summary: A woman finally escapes the trauma of her mother’s mental illness only to find a new, more …

177: What if you woke up two months later?

February 9th, 2021


“I felt like my brain was in Saran Wrap…you’re just not all there.”


Producer: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits


Episode Summary: Having adapted to the challenges of growing up with cerebral palsy, a woman is sideswiped into …

176: What if you were trapped in a never-ending dream?

February 2nd, 2021


“I was asleep. Everything I was going through was not real, and it’s just this very convincing feeling that you’re right about this”


Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: A woman develops a severe eating disorder …

175: What if you had their knee on your neck?

January 26th, 2021


“They were there to remind me who I was in the world, and it hurt too much on the inside, being hurt on the outside didn’t matter as much.”


Producer: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits


Episode Summary: A man’s rage grows …

174: What if you couldn't remember that night?

January 19th, 2021


“The hardest part about the whole thing is just not knowing; for a few hours that night I wasn’t me and that’s terrifying.”


Producer: Whit Missildine

173: What if your cry for help led to an unthinkable tragedy?

January 12th, 2021


“You just think this is a nightmare, and then you realize nope this is my life, this is real.”

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits

Episode Summary:

Holiday 2020 Rebroadcast - #100: What if he wouldn’t let you leave?

January 5th, 2021


“I just didn't feel like a person, I didn't feel like I was a being walking on this planet a lot of the time."

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: A woman fights for her life after her husband turns into a monster.

Holiday 2020 Rebroadcast - #87: What if you were hunted by the Japanese Mafia?

December 29th, 2020


“This might be the beginning of my last few minutes on the planet.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: An American working in Tokyo ends up in the crosshairs of a notorious organized crime family.

Social Media:

172: What if you were lured into an unspeakable hell?

December 15th, 2020


“I did have a hard time ever really feeling safe anywhere, and the problem was just that inside of me it wasn’t safe so it didn’t matter where I was.”

Producers: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: After a brutal rape at age …

171: What if you saw inside the belly of the beast?

December 8th, 2020


“Looking down the barrel of a gun is devastating….Although I was a kid it was very clear that there was lots of hate, and I was kind of frozen.”

Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits

Episode Summary: Growing up …

170: What if you didn't sleep for 120 hours?

December 1st, 2020


“It felt like the earth had stopped rotating like I was trapped in this moment of just complete all-encompassing fear.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: A young woman hungry to explore the world goes on a trip …

169: What if you were an Adult Baby Diaper Lover?

November 24th, 2020


“I would do everything I could that had to happen to engage with this object that I needed to do and then I would bury it….And I had to realize at a …

168: What if you believed you were Jesus Christ?

November 17th, 2020


“It’s like you’ve lost yourself completely, and you’re basically left in a million different pieces.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: A woman self-medicating for anxiety and depression spirals into an alternate …

167: What if you had a fetish for disgust?

November 10th, 2020


“Once I was able to be in control of what I decide is disgusting instead of having that placed on me, that’s what helped me become friends with the …

166: What if you didn't have any fear?

November 3rd, 2020


“The mind almost has to find a way to prove that it’s not real. This cannot be happening.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: After visiting a psychiatrist for mild anxiety, a young man embarks on a wild spree …

165: What if you were a blind dominatrix?

October 27th, 2020


“In these spaces I, as a vulnerable person, am suddenly given the gift of somebody else’s vulnerability.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary:

164: What if a shocking accusation devastated your family?

October 20th, 2020


“It’s truly such an indescribable feeling…kind of like the walls are closing in on you, like reality is just collapsing.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Introducing This is Actually Happening

October 17th, 2020


The uncanny, extraordinary, true stories of events that have dramatically altered the lives of ordinary people; a son is shot by his own father, a …

163: What if you grew up in a violent gang?

October 6th, 2020


“Any sense of identity no matter how fake was better than no sense of identity, yet if I don’t have a sense of identity, then who am I as a person?”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: After tragedy strikes a …

162: What if you grew up in a cult?

September 22nd, 2020


“I didn’t know what normal was, so everything looked so scary….Everything I was doing I was learning for the time it was like my birth into the world.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: A woman puts the pieces of …

161: What if you suffered a shocking loss?

September 8th, 2020


“That feeling…honestly I will never forget it, just your heart dropping into your stomach…it’s unreal.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary:

Happenings Vol. 1: No Man's Land

September 1st, 2020


Today we launch a new series of bonus content called “Happenings” with three stories of people facing their deepest fears in the unforgiving wilderness of the natural world.

Part 1: What if the desert dried your sorrow?

160: What if you were assaulted by a stranger in the dark?

August 25th, 2020


“Right in the center of your body there’s this lead heavy ball, and inside of it is an immediate understanding of evil.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: A woman walking to work in the early morning hours faces …

159: What if someone you love committed a monstrous crime?

August 11th, 2020


“I could live with the nightmares. I could live with the panic attacks. But the thing that was tearing me apart was questioning if everything I know …

158: What if you entered The Void?

July 28th, 2020


“You try to take off your skin to try to get rid of this voice, and it goes all the way down to the bone.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: A man suffering the deep generational traumas of poverty, racism, abuse …

Rebroadcast - #43: What if you witnessed a thousand deaths?

July 14th, 2020


"All of the ways we define ourselves are going to be stripped away by illness or the dying who am I?"

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: After 30 years running a Zen Hospice center, a man reflects on …

Rebroadcast - #93: What if you witnessed the limits of human suffering?

June 30th, 2020


**This rebroadcast episode originally aired in April, 2017**

“It’s in these places that you begin to see the limits of human capacity – how resilient we we will find a way.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode …

157: What if you couldn't tell anyone?

June 16th, 2020


“The idea that they had plucked me from this terrible life…and it was all going to be sunflowers and rainbows and shit…I just view that as a fantasy.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: A young black girl born to …

156: What if you swallowed 48 bags of cocaine?

June 2nd, 2020


“I had to go through having taken everything away from me to come to the conclusion that … you’ll come back a person that’s wiser and a more full, …

155: What if you had to pull the plug?

May 19th, 2020


“When somebody hurts you and then they’re like, ‘now you have to take care of him, you’re responsible for him…’ I didn’t know how to feel.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: A young woman is forced to make a …

154: What if your mom was murdered by a serial killer?

May 5th, 2020


“I had total grief and sadness and fear and also just disbelief that it happened. But it’s different when you lose somebody who hurt you.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: After surviving a family broken by drug …

BONUS Episode - Tyson Was Abducted - from What Was That Like podcast

April 28th, 2020


Today, I'm introducing the podcast What Was That Like, by Scott Johnson. Featuring real people in unreal situations, What Was That Like covers similar, jaw-dropping stories to This Is Actually Happening, but with its …

153: What if you wanted to disappear?

April 21st, 2020


“I had this secret inside me that I felt was my one and only friend and companion that took me away from all the pain and anxiety that I had moving through my life.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: A young …

152: What if you were a human shield?

April 7th, 2020


“This fake face I was putting on for everybody was my only sense of normality when my whole life is already changed. I didn’t want to admit that …

151: What if he made you think you were crazy?

March 24th, 2020


“I was sure that this was his mental illness and not something wrong with me until I started hearing it in my head. And that was when I started to think, 'maybe I’m actually going crazy'.”

Producers: Sara Marinelli, Whit …

150: What if you were trapped in a cycle of abuse?

March 10th, 2020


“My earliest memories as a child were fear and anxiety…I was never able to control the situation and that unknown just haunted me.”

Producer/Editor: …

149: What if you committed child sexual abuse?

February 25th, 2020


 “I misused my position of power to get my needs met…How is it that if we’re called by God to this ministry we could possibly do such a destructive …

148: What if you killed someone?

February 11th, 2020


“We have so much less control than we think we do….Death is really close at hand and we do not do ourselves often any favors by forgetting that.”

147: What if your best friend was dying?

January 28th, 2020


“It’s much better to try to move forward with your life and accept that things are nebulous, and there are no clear answers.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

146: What if you thought your mother was a robot?

January 14th, 2020


“I completely lost touch with reality. You can’t rely on those around you, and you can’t rely on what’s within you. That’s the most terrifying thing in the world.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: Struggling to …

Best of TIAH #1 – Rebroadcast - #120 What if you had Dissociative Identity Disorder?

January 7th, 2020


“I don’t really remember not having different parts…I just thought that everybody had different quote unquote people inside them.”

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: A woman suffers immeasurable trauma at the …

Best of TIAH #2 – Rebroadcast – #94: What if the worst thing that could ever happen to you already had?

December 31st, 2019


"It’s surreal. It’s like a movie. It’s like it’s not even happening to you it’s happening to someone else."

Producer: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: A single mother raising a uniquely gifted child experiences the worst …

Best of TIAH #3 – Rebroadcast – #112: What if a murderer appeared at your bedroom door?

December 24th, 2019


"What happened to me is one of those things where people say, like, 'that could never happen to you.' So now once that happened, it's like well …

145: What if your best friend met a tragic fate?

December 17th, 2019


“I’m the kind of person where I like to know answers. I don’t like secrets I don’t like surprises…I really want to know what brought him to that. I really want to know why.”


Producer: Whit Missildine

Editors: Nigel …

144: What if you suffered from postpartum depression?

December 3rd, 2019


“All those thoughts were going through my head like you’re worthless, you’re a loser, you’re a failure, you can’t be happy, you can’t feel love…just this feeling of profound failure.”


Producer: Whit Missildine

Editors: …

143: What if you were seduced into a whole new world?

November 19th, 2019


“Am I at fault? Am I not a victim? Should I not be able to say that because I let it happen? I don’t know if in the human heart there will ever be …

142: What if it happened in broad daylight?

November 5th, 2019


“I didn’t really realize that it was a thing that was happening to me. I don’t really know how to describe that feeling, but it was just so hard to understand.”


Producer: Whit Missildine

Editors: Nigel Coutinho, Whit …

141: What if you witnessed a horrific act?

October 22nd, 2019


“I just felt something inside of me that was so sickening. It’s just like this point of realization, almost like your biggest fear in that moment had come true.”


Producer: Whit Missildine

Editor: Whit Missildine

Episode …

140: What if you were entangled in a web of shame?

October 8th, 2019


“It’s just confusing thinking about even today what I’m supposed to feel about the whole thing…humans aren’t really built to fully understand that …

139: What if your father disappeared?

September 24th, 2019


“The worst thing that anxiety does is make you think that you have control to change something, like if I can constantly be in control of everything …

138: What if at three months pregnant your world was turned upside down?

September 10th, 2019


“It’s like this weird tunnel of reality collapsing and you want to hold on to where you just were at where none of this happened, but now you have …

137: What if you were the one to break the silence?

August 27th, 2019


“I don’t know what I was thinking but I just kept feeling like the waves of shame because of the shame I made them feel.”


Producer: Whit Missildine

136: What if you had to fight for your life?

August 20th, 2019


“I did have the feeling that someone was gonna come back and do something horrible again after that.”


Producer: Whit Missildine

Editors: Nigel Coutinho, Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: Terra Newell is thrown a nightmare …

135: What if a minor procedure left you permanently altered?

August 13th, 2019


“My personhood had been shattered into a thousand pieces that I and my family were left to pick up one at a time.”


Producer: Whit Missildine

Editor: Whit Missildine

Episode Summary: After self-medicating for years to cope …

Season 9 Announcements

August 6th, 2019


Announcements for Season 9 of This Is Actually Happening. Includes updates on the release schedule, the new This is Actually Happening store, and …

134: What if your singular dream fell to pieces?

June 11th, 2019


“How could I allow myself to mourn what I had lost? Because if I mourned it, then it was like a death, and I couldn’t accept that the me that I knew …

133: What if your life went up in flames?

May 28th, 2019


“All that traumatized people are really looking for is not a fix-it but more like a validation or acknowledgement that it matters.”


Producer: Whit Missildine

Editor: Nigel Coutinho

Episode Summary: A woman finally …

132: What if you were kept from the one you loved most?

May 14th, 2019


“It’s interesting always having this void, knowing that you have something so wonderful that could love you so much and you could love so much that …

131: What if a psychotic break split your life wide open?

April 30th, 2019


“I have a fear every single day am I going crazy and I don’t even know it? I didn’t know the things that I was doing and the things that I was saying were so extreme.”


Producer: Whit Missildine

Editor: Nigel Coutinho

130: What if you had thoughts of harming those you love most?

April 16th, 2019


“People say you should always trust your gut feelings. But I couldn’t trust my gut feeling and I still can’t to this day, because to me a gut feeling …

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