The Scathing Atheist

In this week’s episode, Democrats defend marriage from the Defense of Marriage Act, Marjorie Taylor Greene threatens to tell dad if people don't stop taking her stickers, and Marsh will be here to fill in for Eli. But …

In this week’s episode, we find watchmen that give Alan Moore the creeps, GOP lawmakers mansplain the myth of the clitoris during a congressional hearing, and Thomas Smith and Tom Curry will teach me how to properly …

In this week’s episode, stupid people blow up the don't be stupid rocks, Christians yell at a sandwich, and we learn how one science documentary as a kid can lead to a lifetime of sin.
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In this week’s episode, we’ll catch up on all the bad news we didn’t get to tell you about last week, we'll say hi to Sisyphus on the way back down the hill before next week, and David Icke will insanity at us some more.

In this week’s episode, we talk about the precedent formally known as Roe vs. Wade, the Supreme Court also gets it wrong with EVERYTHING ELSE, and Andrew Torrez will be here to fill in the blank between the expletives.
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In this week’s episode, the foremost exporter of child molesters has strong opinions on which flags to fly, Ted Cruz warns us about the Chinese plot …

In this week’s episode, A Christian terrorist realizes too late that burning down Hell doesn’t even make sense, Christians ignore the Norse God of …

In this week’s episode, Christian leaders will tell their members to take pride … from somebody else, Marjorie Taylor Greene Republicans into a camera again, and Tom and Cecil will be here to discuss the stupidity …

In this week’s episode, Republicans demand church separation from the human secularist state, we’ll learn how to yell “fudge!” at North American …

In this week’s episode, it’s a day in a week, so we have to talk about another church sex abuse cover up report. Also, Dave Warnock joins us to talk about his new memoir, Childish Things.
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In this week’s episode, we all collectively wish Noah had been on the flight with those Christian missionary singers, Canada politely tells …

In this week’s episode, anti-choice activists are caught tiny red handed, the word “tallywacker” becomes part of the official congressional record, and David Icke will yell at cottage cheese or something.
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In this week’s episode, Lindsey Graham fails his own pop quiz, we learn that health and happiness are antisemitic, and Don Ford will do enough voices for it to sound like we have a lot of friends.
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In this week’s episode, Pat Robertson is running out of time to be wrong, Lindsey Graham checks to see if Ketanji Brown Jackson is from one of those …

In this week’s episode, Idaho Republicans search desperately for the gay porn in their local library, the Streisand effect leads a bunch of Idaho …

In this week’s episode, Greg Abbott declares war on trans kids and their parents, Ben Carson considers using our strategic grain reserves in the Washington Monument, and Don Ford will be here because the voice of …

In this week’s episode, Florida picks the WORST and only way you’re allowed to say gay, Mike Lindell tries to set up some helivangelism, and Ray Comfort will tell teenagers they’re as bad as murderers.
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In this week’s episode, Missouri only loves CHRISTIAN company, the Marines get a little fewer and a little prouder, and we’ll dust off and crack open a book clearly inspired by dust and crack.
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In this week’s episode, OAN loses quite a bit of their N, we learn the correct pronouns to go along with God's identity as an attack helicopter, and Oklahomans try yet again to convince us that they once read a book.
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In this week’s episode, the Supreme Court crawls under yet another bar, Pastor Michael Todd gets confused by the phrase "spitting image", and Anna will be here to ratchet up our talent average.
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In this week’s episode, our podcast gets a billionaire sugar daddy for Christmas, a 3rd grade teacher considers doing "Wintertime For Hitler" …

In this week’s episode, Fox news finds a flash of persecution on their Christmas tree, the Christian Right is so inept they can't even hate Dr. Oz correctly, and Andrew Torrez will be here to talk about the terrifying …

In this week’s episode, Joel Osteen cashes out, the Fox News Christmas tree in NYC burst into flames and spontaneous commentary, and Tom and Cecil …

In this week’s episode, Heath brings not one but two demon-sperm related stories, Eli gets out of this episode with a fake doctor's note like he's skipping gym class, and Tom and Cecil will be here to see if this …

In this week’s episode, there are worst times to be an atheist but not by much, Heath will declare the best Thanksgiving food by fiat, and we’ll watch a cartoon about people dying en masse of starvation.
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In this week’s episode, Jerry Falwell Jr sues Liberty University for not stopping him from fucking himself, we do NOT have a story about HUMAN …

In this week’s episode, you’ll get the chance to vent your Election Day rage while doing some good, the Supreme Court lets Maine prevent mass death… but on a provisional basis, and we get audio proof that the people at …

In this week’s episode, Christians throw out their backs attempting to meme, God builds a bridge out of a witch and then burns her to death to help a GOP candidate, and David McAfee will be here to tell my mom I mean it …

In this week’s episode, Matt Powell breaks our hearts, Christians fight back in the imagined War on Christmas with a pre-emptive War on Halloween,and we’ll wonder if it still counts as the english language when David …

In this week’s episode, the government gets a hold of Joel Osteen’s pp, the planets conspire to interrupt Facebook and no other major platforms, and …

In this week’s episode, we paint the walls with a month's worth of stored up antitheism, Christianity gets persecuted by seahorses, and Don Ford will be here because, dammit, you missed him, too.
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In this week’s episode, we’ll finish off the headlines from the past, you’ll miss the headlines from the present, and we’ll look forward to the headlines from the future.
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In this week’s episode, our headlines will be closer to the present, but they still won’t be the present, Lucinda will continue to pop in when you least expect it, and Friendly Atheist Hemant Mehta will be here to learn …

In this week’s episode, the past and the present will smash together like some kind of temporal orgy, we’ll bring up stuff in the headlines that you almost forgot you were pissed about, and Lucinda’s quest for a pet …

In this week’s episode, the headlines will make you wonder if you’re listening to the archives, the news out of Texas will make you wonder whether …

In this week’s episode, BYU gets mad about having to share a letter with LGBTQ, Walker Texas Ranger gets a WEIRD new job, and Liberty U cancels classes without a decrease in the total amount of learning.
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In this week’s episode, people will die of COVID unnecessarily because of religion, Heath takes the week off to turn 40, and we’ll actually finish this time.
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In this week’s episode, Islam finds a worse use for an 8 year old than its prophet did, we learn AGAIN that it's NOT like the Holocaust...whatever …

In this week’s episode, Christians continue their war against free not dying juice, Jesus comes back to buy a motorcycle and then leaves again, and Don Ford will be here to ramp up the sexual tension once again.
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In this week’s episode, we all sit in a room together long enough for Noah to remember why he's an introvert.
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In this week’s episode, CPAC reminds us how secure our jobs are, bible study is literally synonymous with domestic terrorism, and Tom and Cecil from Cognitive Dissonance will be here with more kinds of dissonance than …

In this week’s episode, the Catholic Church is pretty sure not getting away with murder FOREVER is persecution, Right Wing Watch gets rescued by …

In this week’s episode, Noah’s back so Eli will be edited more, Republicans are pretty sure the Critical Race Theory was calling from inside the house, and Ken Ham will learn how hard he can bite rocks.
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In this week’s episode, the Supreme Court rules that there are separate but equal kinds of parents, Ted Cruz performs the saddest one man show in the …

In this week’s episode, Rick Wiles will catch a serious case of we told him so, Christians will once again be persecuted by math, and god will …

In this week’s episode, Mother Theresa miraculously keeps sucking after death, "Triggered by LEGOS" is a thing that exists in reality now, and Don …

In this week’s episode, America puts the ISH in Jewish, we learn how vaccines are Holocaust adjacent, and Andrew Torrez of the Opening Arguments …

In this week’s episode, the church of bleach washes out, Ben Shapiro finally gets wood despite the medical risk to his wife, and Don Ford will be here to weird up his resume some more.
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In this week’s episode, the good Pope is still a bad person, Matt Powell debunks the farting wing of evolution theory without debunking his beds, and …

In this week’s episode, we remind everyone that we cancelled the Bible before it was cool, w learn that Rush Limbaugh has exactly as many interesting …

In this week’s episode, Tennessee Republicans will be confused about how many vaginas they have, James Randi manages to debunk more liars without even being alive, and Joe Biden decides we were getting a little too …

In this week’s episode, Ken Ham’s team will put the “cute” back in persecution, Marjorie Taylor Greene tries to block herself on Facebook, and we really DID watch some more of Matt Powell’s You Tube videos.
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In this week’s episode, we’ll learn that Biden is both too Catholic and not Catholic enough, Qanon misses his cue, and we’ll don all the Don Ford we …

In this week’s episode: We’ll be able to feel sorry for other countries again, James Dobson checks under our bed for antifas, and Michael Marshall will be here to help reveal the next book on our reading list.
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In this week’s episode, Heath Enwright takes the week off to laugh at the terrorist who tazed himself in the balls till he died, Andrew Torrez swings by for long enough to regret it, and the Christian right goes coup …

In this week’s episode, congress is way more white and Christian than America … again … still, Donald Trump makes a grand proclamation of unintelligible lame quacks, and Don Ford will be here to stand up for …

In this week’s episode, Churches PPP themselves and make us clean it up, Matt Powell debunks the duck-billed dinosaur surfing wing of evolution …

In this week’s episode, Coach Dave loses a wizard duel , we learn that epidemiology is cancel culture gone too far, and we’ll tell you about …

In this week’s episode, we'll introduce you to a Christmas song you didn't know you hate yet, "Consensual Cannibalism" is trending on Twitter and we’ll have trouble getting over that, and Kirk Cameron will once again …

In this week’s episode, Amy Coney Barret reads the first amendment like a magic eye poster, Rudy Giuliani has COVID and a foley fart guy, and Don …

In this week’s episode, the Supreme Court declares COVID-19 a religion, we give 2019 the roasting it's been deserving this whole time, and Andrew …

In this week’s episode, One Million Moms will breakup with the Hallmark Channel, the moms will be super mad when the Hallmark Channel doesn't do the boombox thing, and we’ll be lonely with you so it doesn’t count.
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In this week’s episode, Justice Alito warns us to check our underpants for Jabberwockys, the best Christmas movie is Die Hard and Eli can die mad …

In this week’s episode, Donald Trump converts to whatever kind of christianity will vote for him, Steve Bannon continues his "Under Indictment" tour …

In this week’s episode, Clarence Thomas has a REALLY convoluted plan to get out of his marriage, Tall Tyler crushes up a fetus in some peanut butter …

In this week’s episode, Tom and Cecil join us for some finely aged roasts, Donald Trump gets infected by a hoax, and we learn we can inflict COVID with our wishes.
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In this week’s episode, William Barr designates the Bill of Rights as an anarchist controlled piece of paper, Tall Tyler throws him a fish for his …

In this week’s episode, we learn that Michael Cohen knew trump was an atheist before it was cool, Dave Daubenmire finds out if he’s being detained, …

In this week’s episode, we’ll steal the good holidays from gods we don't believe in, Heath will have had a very lovely birthday (thanks for asking), …

In this week’s episode, Mike Pompeo introduces his lowball offer for how many rights we ACTUALLY need, we learn about a new alternative if …

In this week’s episode, the government takes a PPP all over the First Amendment, we learn that if your rat has an erection that lasts more than 4 hours it wasn't homeopathy; it was you, and Tom and Cecil from Cognitive …

In this week’s episode, we’ll learn that the odd numbered amendments are the optional ones, we’ll learn that Trump is pretty sure 14 is odd, and the Boy Scouts will finally get around to adding that ‘mansplain’ merit …

In this week’s episode, Ohio will get dumber on purpose, one of the Supreme Court hijackers gets temporarily talked down by the real pilots, and we’ll do a deep dive into a pile of crap. Which you’d think we’d have …

In this week’s episode, Steve King applies for a job with the Minneapolis Police Department, Donald Trump tries really hard to hold a book, and the …

In this week’s episode, a baby killing contest is adjudicated in the courts, the Pope gets a stern talking-to for letting Muslim people play magic with him, and we’ll wipe some cobwebs off a 30 second timer.
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In this week’s episode, the missionary position gets a LOT less boring, we learn that blood plasma is a sacred bond between one man and one woman, and we’ve now spent one sixteenth as long in lockdown as Cardinal Pell …

In this week’s episode, we desperately try to find something to talk about other than the coronavirus, and occasionally we succeed.
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In this week’s episode, America agrees with rightness slightly more often than wrongness, some very nice Jewish gentlemen may have done something wrong but it's none of my business...We'll let Eli explain, and Tom and …

In this week’s episode, Heath says Jumanji, Eli makes a funny voice, and Noah says angry words.
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In this week’s episode, Christian bigots will tell us that in their day they didn’t have these fancy singulars, Donald Trump takes up the gentile …

In this week’s episode, Christians will take their balls and go home, Heath’s opening bullet point will get cut from the intro because it refers to a …

In this week’s episode, Ken Ham will argue the age of the earth with somebody old enough to remember it’s formation, Donald Trump doesn't think …

In this week’s episode, we actively want your money, we learn that the sandworms of Arrakis like to both spit AND swallow, and Anna will somehow exceed your expectations.

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In this week’s episode, Richlands, Virginia is besieged by Tarot...ists, our top 10 about the Cincinnati conference has NO MENTION of Skyline's chili toast crunch, and we’ll take the nuanced look at having sex with …

In this week’s episode, everyone hates Ex Benedict, Christian people react to Mayor Pete like a Rubik's Cube made of their deepest fears, and Matt Powell will beg gay people to handcuff him.

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On this week’s episode: Noah’s too sick to stop a LOT of things from happening that shouldn’t ... We learn that Ray Comfort REALLY wants to get …

Georgia Heartbeat bill: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2019/04/02/georgia-fetal-heartbeat-abortion-bill-governor-brian-kemp/3331514002/

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In this week’s episode, all churches are bad, we learn that Donald Trump had absolutely no part in [REDACTED], and we’ll learn about the dangers of …

In this week’s episode, Amazon stops recommending killing your child, Mike Pompeo refuses to grant a separate but equal press briefing for the …

In this week’s episode, Jenny Mccarthy will refuse to accept the existence of Denmark, Heath will make a pi joke for three math nerds, and George Pell will spend less time in prison that we’ve spent doing this show.

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In this week’s episode, we’ll play a bunch of out of date headlines we recorded before we left for Denver, Eli and Heath will take advantage of Noah not being around to greenlight the final edit, and Tom and Cecil show …

In this week’s episode, Cardinal Pell will start rethinking that ‘clearing his name’ strategy, professional skeptic Susan Gerbic teaches us how to catch a mentalist predator, and the Pope will name a long series of …

In this week’s episode, Tom and Cecil from the Cognitive Dissonance podcast will warm your winter with some roasting, the Catholic Church uses …

In this week’s episode, you’ll remember that edible arrangements both exists and is terrible, Donald Trump praises important abolitionists like …

In this week’s episode, the Jews will make it to Mount Sinai, Christian people celebrate Black Face History Month, and Pew Research finds out sick …

In this week’s episode, adoption agencies will dust off their “no dogs no irish signs JUST in time”, Melania Trump holds a beer for Karen Pence …

In this week’s episode, the Supreme Court gets super confused about that whole attack helicopter thing, Heath does NOT redacted with a redacted up …

In this week’s episode, Texas Republicans stop being so damn inclusive, evangelicals complain about the secular nature of anti-lynching rules and end …

In this week’s episode, we say things that would make Rashida Tlaib blush, Mike Pence and Nancy Pelosi yell “Expelliarmus” at each other all weekend, …

In this week’s episode, Eli will make a New Year’s resolution to have sex with fewer mailboxes, Eli will fail at his New Year’s resolution, and we’re …

In this week’s episode, Noah refuses to let Eli do a podcast yule log, we learn how that relates to Eli's vision board about his annual solid …

In this week’s episode, we ask “If George Pell molests kids in an Australian forest, does it make a sound?”, we learn about the Bible's take on …

In this week’s episode, we’ll find out the best thing two nuns can do outside of a porn, praying makes you an asshole according to math, the a priori …

In this week’s episode, we arm ourselves for the War on Christmas, we learn that Barron Trump was conceived while Melania was laying down under a …

On this week's special extra length episode, we reveal just how much good got done without god, our google alert about "Gwyneth Paltrow news" sent a singing telegram with a 30-piece drumline, and Tom and Cecil will be …

In this week’s episode, we yell all the things you wish you could yell around the Thanksgiving table, Pat Robertson's face traps a mosquito and a …

In this week’s episode, Alabama officially decides we the people didn't apply to them anyway, Pakistan dispels exactly zero Muslim stereotypes, and we’ll celebrate our 300th episode by kicking a Persian down a well.

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In this week’s episode, we react to the midterms in the way the midterms turned out, Jared Polis of Colorado becomes the first openly gay governor in …

In this week’s episode, Kellyanne Conway blames us for the Pittsburgh shootings, we blame Kellyanne Conway for the break-in at the crypt she was supposed to be keeping, and we’ll use our America powers to point out that …

In this week’s episode, the Trump administration decides trans people aren’t, Megyn Kelly stomps around her house in a snit trying to find the …

In this week’s episode, Quebec’s prime minister will insist he’s just hiding his treasure underneath that sideways X, Gwyneth Paltrow expresses pride in Goop's truthiness score of 10% maybe not lying, and Lee Strobel’s …

In this week’s episode, we travel backwards in time then forward, back to now.

To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist

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In this week’s episode, We run down this weeks Christian Rape apologists but sadly NOT with our cars, sex robots, and Bryce Blankenagel will be back …

In this week’s episode, Republicans will learn their Hindus and Hin-don’ts the hard way, Brett Kavanaugh supporters explain how he's technically a quantum rapist in a sealed box who may or may not have raped that cat …

In this week’s episode, Christians get a visit from Aunt Flo, the Texas School Board decides that area of a Texan circle is now equal to3r2, and the …

In this week’s episode, Christians write an open letter of closed-mindedness , Ted Cruz asks Brett Kavanaugh a softball question that's literally …

In this week’s episode, the Jews steal money from children… but in a bad way, Heath learns about "Mormon masturbation interviews" way too late for a …

In this week’s episode, Adam Fannin blames not equal to x in the sum set for mass shootings, the Pope goes on tour with his lip sync rendition of "Oops!...I Did It Again", and Elmo will show us his dark side.

Come …

In this week’s episode, Noah stops going easy on the Catholics, a person named Cody Coots does something exactly as intelligent as he sounds, and …

In this week’s episode, Florida gets arrested trying to break into god’s trailer with a hand full of rose petals, Mark Taylor wonders how Harriet …

In this week’s episode, we’ll record this in the past with bits from the future because we’re not here now, Jeff Sessions announces a Biblical Space Force to prevent Church-Space Separation, and Biblepiece theater gives …

In this week’s episode, we’ll learn what christians mean when they say they’re a COOL GIMP, Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop company hires a stunt vagina, and Jeff Sessions apparently thinks it’s the “just us” department.

To …

In this week’s episode, Lee Strobel’s back to scientifically prove what Jesus thought but never said, the gay community hides a fuck slave animal inside their acronym, and a dead guy will keep up the good work.

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In this week’s episode, Heath gets to throw his two cents at the back of Anthony Kennedy's head, those two pennies get blocked by the back of Donald Trump's hand, and Biblepiece theater will finally get to the dick …

In this week’s episode, we realize Supreme Court is an anagram for ‘Computer ruse’ and cling to the hope that everybody’s just messing with me, an …

In this week’s episode, Noah opines on all the wonderful things the state of Georgia has to offer, Eli goes on a wooey sounding meditation retreat, …

In this week’s episode, the Supreme Court rules “not touching can’t get mad”, our collection of rejuvenating cum might finally pay off in Western …

In this week’s episode, the pope makes it clear not all wives matter, Tennessee needs some extra time to decide if RFRA covers the cat-o'-nine-tails, …

In this week’s episode, Christian hardware store owners are pretty sure America just got great again, Coach Dave finds a gay Muslim fetus on the …

In this week’s episode, Christian Movie Reviewer continues to be the most secure job in trump’s america, the Supreme Court rules that you can't have …

In this week’s episode, Catholic Hospitals will get a reward for keeping those “no jews or Irish” signs in the basement for a reason, Alex Jones …

In this week’s episode, we learn that the cure for mass shootings could be mass, we learn when the Bible says it's okay to use the N-word ... It's …

In this week’s episode, Trump's ready to Armaged-it-on, Oklahoma Senator James Inhofe tries to form flood water into a ball to prove gay people are evil, and Lee Strobel will think extra-biblical means when you read it …

In this week’s episode, Iowa redefines abortion to mean felching, Sarah Palin gets appointed to be National Secretary of All the Newspapers--wait, no, it's even dumber than that, and Bryce Blankenagel will be here and …

In this week’s episode, my pug gets really good at Blackjack, Australia gives Cardinal Pell a timeout in the corner to think about all the kid-raping, and Mark and Dan will be here for some DIY Heathenism.

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In this week’s episode, Ken ham’s ark park see less footraffic than your mom, we find a great new reason to ejaculate on a wall (your mom), and Lee …

In this week’s episode, the Mormons introduce the world to their black friend, we learn on InfoWars that Alex Jones invented the clitoris in 1988, and Chris Matheson will be here to suggest the bible, koran, and book of …

In this week’s episode, God’s dead at the box office, Coach Dave gets a handjob from a dude while thinking about a goat, and perfect word of god will be back to not make any fucking sense.

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In this week’s episode, we catch us on all the news we missed while we were looking for one single human being in the entire state of Oklahoma. Seriously. Never had to look both ways to cross the street. I mean, we …

In this week’s episode, we discuss Trump’s crayon-panned trans ban, we learn that your firearms are useless against killer swarms of bee-sting acupuncturists, and Noah will do battle with eucharists, because when it …

In this week’s episode, The Olten Enterprise will print all the news that fits into a vagina, a comedian holds up a mirror during a set at a Catholic …

In this week’s episode, Kim Davis becomes the first person to write a book she can’t read, the reputation of United Airlines takes another hit after God gets dragged off a flight kicking and screaming, and Jesus will …

In this week’s episode, Kentucky vies for that “Toddlers and Tiaras”, “Say Yes to the Dress” crossover we’ve all been waiting for, Roy Moore tries to crowdsource money to silence a victim at GoFundMeToo, and we learn …

In this week’s episode, we figure out if blessed AR-15’s kill less kids, rabbis in Iceland are running out of good excuses for sucking a baby's penis, and despite being such a Jesus fan, Billy Graham will not rise from …

In this week’s episode, we’ll see which christian can blame not-god the hardest, a Pennsylvania pastor finally finds that platonic gay bondage relationship he's always been looking for, and the Jehovah’s Witnesses will …

On this week’s episode: Alex Jones wants to know Optimus Prime's preferred pronouns ... North Carolina makes a special gay marriage lane that's …

In this week’s episode, we’ll discuss the international, secret child rape cabal from the nineties that didn’t exist, Virginia considers a tax on porn despite the very visible hands that guide the market, and, speaking …

In this week’s episode, we break out the Book of Mormon voices one last time, we learn which Jehovah's Witness elder ate the most cum-covered …

In this week’s episode, the Pope on a Rope makes himself look a dope, God finally takes over control of all the snipes in Oklahoma, and we’ll reach …

In this week’s episode, we pound on the president’s shthole , the humor of grabbing him by the shthole is lost on him completely, and Seth Andrews …

In this week’s episode, we’ll try to scare you out of gay sex, we learn that Roy Moore's not anti-Semitic because he knows a self-hating former Jew, and by the same token, we learn that Noah and Heath aren’t …

In this week’s episode, churches are bad and they should feel bad , we learn about how the gay jewish slave traders might affect our weekend, and …

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To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: …

To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: …

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In this week’s episode, Mike Pence puts a restraining order on half the human population when he’s eating, we get an update on NASA's million-dollar …

In this week’s episode, Dunning Freddy Krueger will rise again to haunt our nightmares, we examine the role of desserts in deciding how much you …

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In this week’s episode, Nephi’s brothers will try to kill him half a dozen more times, a porn website teaches Mormons what binders of women should …

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In this week’s episode, religious dunking booths go wrong three stories in a row, the GOP promotes the Zika virus, cervical cancer, and slavery ... all in one bill, and we find a charity that’ll let us call people fat …

In this week’s episode, the movie Room becomes a religious documentary, Kevin Sorbo masters a British aphasia accent for an upcoming role, and the …

In this week’s episode, France caves on the Burkini thing, just like they did with the Nazis, we learn that Donald Trump is the healthiest man in the …

In this week’s episode, Eli and Anna will fuck their way across Europe, Sandy Rios complains that the trans community might give her a UTI, and Jake and Hugo from The Bible Reloaded will be here to get litigious on some …

In this week’s episode, New Jersey legally mandates lesbians to give the pole a chance, my wish for The Daily Beast editing team to have a Zika …

In this week’s episode, women want to rip off Steve Anderson’s arm, Mike Pence lectures Congress on the origin of specious, and we didn’t want to go to the Australian Capital Territories anyway.

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In this week’s episode, Saudi arabia will be mad at pokemon go for a reason OTHER than step tracking, Cardinal Pell continues to look like Werner Herzog got raped by Play-Do a 2nd time; and we’ll learn that it’s …

In this week’s episode, Ben Carson warns us that Hillary trifles with ghosts; Tanzania forgets that tears make great lube; and the Quran will get closer to interesting than it’s ever been, and still be boring as fuck.

In this week’s episode, Rick wiles will try to catch em all, the Republican Convention gets a wicked flare-up of their Control-VD, and faithless …

In this week’s episode, the amusement park about a flood opens with zero water rides, Westboro Baptist Church pretends they just got their first gay trainer, and Jozef K Richards will be here to discuss his upcoming …

On this week’s episode, Tim Tebow disappoints one last fan, the sequel to Christian Mingle gets a lot more interesting with a new lesbian porn angle, and Muhammad’s rambling, drunken Facebook post of a revelation …

In this week’s episode, we finish the only book that’s harder to read than it is to put in your pee hole, a congressional candidate gets tricked by …

In this week’s episode, we’ll read the book equivalent of getting dicked to death by wolverines, state-mandated anal probes get two thumbs up from a …

In this week’s episode, our least favorite people weigh in on Orlando, Mel Gibson tries to resurrect a career despite the Jewish conspiracy, and Noah will yell in your ear, but he didn’t mean to. Click Here to make a …

In this week’s episode, we mourn the miserable failure that was a 7,000 person march on Washington, an African pastor takes a page out of the Matthew Broderick playbook, and we’ll get an all too infrequent chance to …

In this week’s episode, we witness an act of bovine intervention, Jim Bakker becomes the world's least successful Mexican powder salesman, and …

In this week’s episode, a Kansas Group wants to make sure pugapegacorns don’t rule the skies, a group of evil rape victims hires James Spader's dad …

On this week’s episode, Canada will sweeten the pot for American pre-Trump refugees, transgender students in North Carolina will need gas masks and …

On this week’s episode, There’s a child marrying convention that Eli isn’t a keynote speaker at, North Carolina gets asked if they wanna secede, and …

  In this week’s episode, we fight bigotry with the power of song, Lucifer gets called the C word, and we learn that those first eight Surahs weren’t the bad ones.

We’d like to offer a special thanks to Anna Phyllis …

On this week’s episode the Pope frantically downloads Turbotax, Curt Schilling gets bloody sacked, and a Utah republican thinks the jizz on his McDonald’s food got there by accident.CALENDAR LINKS:

SkepKon 2016; …

In this week's episode “No Jews or Catholics Need Apply” makes a comeback; god will consume the sodomites with fireballs from their mouths, and bolts …

On this week’s episode, we’ll make last week’s episode seem dated, babies and other large containers will be subject to random search by police, and …

On this week’s episode, Mississippi will see North Carolina’s public restrooms and raise them housing, Christian leaders settle on "going down to the …

In this week's episode, doctors respond to way more than four hours of social media reports that he is risen, jokes about "Sarah Palin looking like an incompetent TV judge" get a little bit funnier, and Eli Bosnick will …

On this week’s episode, a creationist will prove the world’s 6000 years old with a thing that takes 10,000 years to form, the NFL finds a tiny patch …

On this week's episode, Conor Robinson of the Humanist Service Corps joins us to talk about the deplorable fate of women in Ghana accused of witchcraft, and tells us how we can all pitch in to help.  There's also the …

In this week's episode, Ray Comfort admits that if it weren't for Jesus, he would feast on the flesh of the weak; we learn that Japanese ceremonial …

On episode 159: We'll ignore Noah's mom's suggested response to having nothing nice to say, the Bible appears to converge with science once every twelve hours, and Lucinda and Eli will be here to marvel at how much job …

In this week's episode, Cardinal George Pell's child abuse stalling tummy ache enters its third week; the Georgia senate finally acknowledges the #White Sheets Matter movement; and Tracie Harris of the Atheist …

In this week's episode, everyone will think Australian Christian Lobbyist Lyle Shelton is gay, Saudi Arabian authorities will finally crack down on men dressed like cartoon floozies, and we'll examine the "Fine Tuning" …

In this week's episode, Cardinal George Pell will Ferris Bueller his way out of accountability for child sex abuse, Ted Cruz gets plenty of exorcise while also-ranning in the GOP primaries, and Eli shows up to try to …

On this week's episode we'll enjoy that pastor from Harlem being the most disappointed Manning in the country quick while we still can, Herman Cain catches President Obama making out with Islam under the bleachers, and …

In this week's episode, we'll learn all about Ken Ham's effort to gather together two of every kind of tax incentive for his ark, the E! Network forces us to spend well over half a minute making a really offensive list, …

In this week's episode, whoremongers will murder your wife, we learn that nine year old girls who prefer consensual should avoid living in Pakistan, …

In this week's episode, American Atheist President David Silverman joins us to talk about his new book Fighting God (spoiler: you don't use lightsabers), plus Pat Robertson and Rick Santorum being stupid.

In this week's episode we learn why the bible is lying from an expert on lying; a biblical scholar teaches us how the rib bone is connected to the …

In this week's episode, we close out 2015 with more atheists in America than we started with, Kim Davis goes for a victory waddle, frozen embryos that can't afford an attorney will have some appointed for them, and Eli …

In this week's episode, we meet a group of people so crazy that they're disappointed when their cracker isn't bleeding, Mother Teresa is rewarded for …

In this week's episode, Cindy Lou Who will receive a Congressional Medal of Honor, the Catholics will sigh with relief upon realizing their latest …

In this week's episode, Bryce Blankenagel of the Naked Mormonism podcast returns to remind us that some of the scariest religious terrorists our country has ever faced were wearing magic underwear; Donald Trump suggests …

In this week's episode, the state of Georgia will welcome Heath back with a sign telling him to leave; Pastor David Manning will get his N-word priveleges revoked from black people; and Bryce Blankenagel from the Naked …

In this week's episode, Texas will get dumber on purpose again, a Florida resident will use gay erections to distract from illegal manger scenes, and Lucinda will join us in almost not reading the bible anymore.

In this week's episode we'll learn that a Utah judge sincerely meant to be less full of shit than he was; we'll be reminded in unmistakable ways that …

In this week's episode, Mormons get even worse, Kevin Swanson explains the hetero version of the Dirty Sanchez, and Callie Wright joins us to discuss …

In this week's episode, a Toledo mayoral candidate will show Donald Trump how being the crazy person in the debate works, Ray Comfort admits that he …

In this week's episode, we'll learn that despite my intuitions, you should not bleach the rectums of autistic kids; the Vatican will make Archie …

In this week's episode, we'll stimulate your posterior medial frontal cortex with our sexual magnetism, Jim Bakker warns that Planned Parenthood is …

In this week's episode, American Muslims continue to exist just to piss off the rednecks, the subject of homosexual cannibal restaurant industry will come up naturally, and the Bible will strongly urge us not to be …

In this week's episode, Oklahoma residents will no longer know whose name they can and can't use in vain; we learn that the folks at the WBC have …

In this week's episode, the pope will make a retarted baby still retarded; Pastor Manning and Fat Guy in a Red Hat both get a richly deserved public shaming; and we once more humorously register our displeasure with …

In this week's episode, Kim Davis remains a horrible person; humans continue to procreate despite the existence of rainbow colored corn chips; and …

In this week's episode, Heath and Noah try their best to keep the fantasy football crap to a minimum, Jade Helm 15 ends after finally securing the Louisiana Purchase, and Chris Johnson joins us to discuss his film, A …

In this week's episode, we'll try to figure out why they would name the city "More Head" if they didn't want gay guys there; an ex-girlfriend tells …

In this week's episode, Lucinda does this week in misogyny and the New Testament equivalent, rednecks in Louisiana discover a rare species of local …

On this week's episode, we'll double dip in the anal p-robing; Evangelicals are once more foiled by Satanic kryptonite; and Susan Gerbic of the Guerrilla Skepticism on Wikipedia project will join us for a tricky wiki …

In this week's episode, we'll show you on the doll where his noodly appendage touched us; Jade Helm 15 operatives will secretly purchase the …

In this week's episode, a Texas appeals court considers whether marriage constitutes cruel and unusual punishment; Louie Gohmert invokes Lord of the Flies to prove that gay marriage is unrealistic; and Lucinda will join …

In this week's episode, we'll discuss Kentucky Fried Kapparot; we learn that god never intended "sex with tractors" to involve homosexuals, and we'll …

In this week's episode, the Boy Scouts of America will become nominally less bigoted; Tom and Cecil from the Cognitive Dissonance Podcast join us to …

In this week's episode, we'll basically read the same letter from Paul for the sixth and seventh time; Joshua Feuerstein will deliver a meaningless …

In this week's episode we'll throw down the gauntlet on fat guy in a red hat with an equipment upgrade; the Pope will let us know that Catholic god …

In this week's episode, our podcast is decriminalized in Iceland, we learn that Si Robertson has the exact same resume as Elmer Fudd, and Eli joins us to review "Audacity", a Ray Comfort video about people watching Ray …

In this week's episode, despite promises from the pulpit, Christianity continues to exist post-marriage equality; Clarence Thomas assures us that …

In this week's episode; the infallible guy gets something right for a change, we manage to get a half-dozen appearances from Heath despite him not physically being here this week, and Steve and Tally of Monster on …

In this week's episode, gay people will continue to exist, just to piss Christians off; we learn that you can turn yourself gay by staring at your penis too long, but it doesn't work for everybody; and Eli Bosnick will …

In this week's episode, Abercrombie and Fitch will try to outwit the Supreme Court with a line of ass length burqas; ISIS leaders suspect Mossad was behind the circumcised spy-pigeons; and we'll learn that Americans are …

In this week's episode, Heath and Noah will pretend the Muslims are after them too, if there's ten million bucks in it; we'll investigate the "corrective side" of rape; and David Michael of My Book of Mormon gives us …

In this week's episode, we'll dig into the Duggar family, but not the way Josh did; we'll learn that with just one squirt of kosher lube, you can have eight crazy nights of butt play; and Tracie Harris will join us to …

In this week's episode the slow and inevitable death of the Christian majority in America will be laid plain before us; the Saudi Arabian job report shows good growth in the decapitation sector; and the bible finally …

In this week's episode CNN pretends that coded biblical cancer cures are inherently less plausible than a Mike Huckabee presidency, we learn that Satan has a lot of black friends so he can use that word, and Professor …

In this week's episode, Jesus won't return for the 103,083rd week in a row, abstinence prevents an STD outbreak among unattractive high school …

In this week's episode, a pro-Israel group will hate Jews vicariously through the Muslims; a dildo store probably won't open in Mecca, but we'll talk about it anyway; and Lucinda will join us in wondering why this book …

In this week's episode we'll learn what James Dobson thinks bisexual means, Dominique Strauss-Kahn gets passed over for a French ambassador job, and Eli Bosnick joins us in learning that there's always a worse movie.

In this week's episode we'll learn how to squat like a Muslim, the Bar Room Atheists will learn to stop worrying and love the gay bomb, and the Atheist Avengers will join us for their take on the cape versus no cape …

In this week's episode Pat Robertson will invoke Chick-Fil-A to remind us he only eats Christian cock; fearing integration, Klingenschmitt takes a gay derivative; and Lucinda will join us to learn why they named toilets …

In this week's episode, Islam will cede their claim to the holy land now that the state of Arizona has weighed in, Bill Cosby will consider donating …

In this week's episode, Phil Robertson will fantasize about handling atheist penises, the gays will take marriage right out of the Christian's cold …

In this week's episode, Ken Ham will tell us who would win if Jesus fought an asteroid, we'll learn that CNN replacing Larry King with Piers Morgan …

In this week's episode, we'll glance askance at a stance advanced in France, Jesus will appear in a fajita skillet to blind a healed person, and we'll convene an international panel of dick joke enthusiasts.

In this week's episode, we'll tell you how to vote for us in the People's Choice Podcast Awards, we'll tell you why to vote for us in the People's Choice Podcast Awards, we'll tell you when to vote for us in the …

In this week's episode we'll learn that despite the monologues, vaginas don't actually have vocal cords; we'll learn that Heath would still rather …

In this week's episode we learn that either god is real or there's a giant ball of plasma at the center of our solar system, Jesus gets whipped at …

In this week's episode we'll reference a Joe Barton bit in the intro that we ended up cutting in post, hentai porn will be a strangely pivotal role …

In this week's episode, we'll beg you shamelessly to nominate us for a podcast award, Justin Bieber will cut his boobs off, and Lucinda will join us …

In this episode, we'll pit two homophobic Oklahoma lawmakers in a cage and see which one reigns supreme, we'll nearly make it through those minor prophet poems, and David Smalley from Dogma Debate Radio will join us for …

In this week's episode, we'll meet an Ohio inmate who finally found a way to make the bible bearable, Boba Fett will plan a raid on a middle school …

In this week's episode, we honor the satirists that died in the Charlie Hebdo massacre with exactly the kind of memorial we figure a satirist would …

In this week's episode, Saudi Arabia will make Catholicism look a little better by comparison, we'll find out if Christianity comes with a money back …

In this episode we'll learn why Argentinians always buy their silver bullets in packs of seven, Michele Bachman will finally reveal what the hell …

In this week's episode, the A and E Network will buy hookers for a priest, we'll try to pry the Christ out of Christmas, and we'll finally reach the end of the Old Testament, only to find that our savior is in another …

In this week's episode, the Mormons will get their magic underwear twisted over a statue, Ann Coulter will hit good taste in the head with a brick …

On this week's episode, we'll be unhappy, insane, and destined for an early grave, we'll anger the gods of the fire mountain, and the Vatican will be shocked ... SHOCKED... to learn that gambling is going on here.

In this week's episode Adam Reakes from the Herd Mentality podcast will join us to talk about a pastor whose fascination with sperm blew up in his face, we'll learn that both McDonalds and church can get worse, and …

In this week's episode all the people who said Texas couldn't get dumber will sure have egg on their faces, Lucinda will join us to talk about …

On this week's episode we'll wonder what a non-transitional fossil would look like, we'll consider the irony of a tetanus anti-vaxer being silenced …

In this week's episode, we learn the best way to not drink bleach, we'll wonder why there aren't any bukkake slapstick scenes, and Lucinda will join us in learning that four little books of the bible can easily suck as …

On this week's episode we'll bask in the glorious absence of campaign ads, Phil Robertson will pee standing up and Eli Bosnick will join us to discuss one hundred of the most bafflingly stupid minutes in the history of …

On this week's episode we'll offer an alibi for the night that ten commandments monument in Oklahoma got run over, we'll call the jury back for the verdict on science, and atheist chaplain John Figdor will join us to …

On this week's episode, we wonder who Houston radios when they have a problem, we'll meet literature's lamest dragon, and Lucinda will join us to inch ever closer to the Jesus parts of the bible.

In this week's episode the horrible reality that he's agreed to move to a crappy little town in South Georgia starts to set it on Heath, so much that you can hear his tenuous grip on sanity slipping even before he …

In this week's episode, Steve Wells joins us to discuss his new book "Strange Flesh: The Bible and Homosexuality," we'll make the kind of abortion …

In this week's episode we'll slander pigs, we'll say the F word almost as often as we say "fuck" and Lucinda will join us to learn that Ezekiel is only there to make all the other books of the bible look sane.

In this week's episode Noah will devote an inordinate amount of his life making fun of the bible in rhyme, we'll learn which crayon works best for Satan's scrotum and we'll make Heath kind of wish his grandma didn't …

In this week's episode author Steve Wells joins us to discuss the disturbing lack of unused margin amongst atheist bible readers, Bryan Fischer and Rick Santorum will say words again and we'll close with the theme music …

In this week's episode we say f*ck more often than we have in any two previous episodes, we learn that Phil Robertson is actually Bizarro Dumbledore and Kevin Sorbo will teach us his new Pontius Pilates ab work out.

In this week's episode we'll get distracted with this whole podcast thing when we should be making last minute roster adjustments, we'll learn that …

In this week's episode, Mark Driscoll will be defeated by the crappy James Bond, we'll make poop jokes, and Dan Arel will join us to discuss a few of …

In this week's episode an Austrian boobicurean fingers a porn star then rolls over on her, Heath and Noah will get disfellowshipped and we learn that …

In this week's episode, Dave Muscato joins us to discuss Jesus fish versus Darwin Sharknados on Atheist TV, a florida man will roll over in his …

In this week's episode we'll discover that god never learned to drive a stick, a Louisiana archdiocese will play Three Pedophile Monte, gays will screw up Christian orphan hoarding for everyone and Adam Reakes from the …

In this week's episode, two more brisses will go viral on the Jew-Tubes, the FFRF will use its one initial advantage to defeat the IRS and we'll note that TVs most famous quack doctor is named after a fictional …

In this week's episode Peter Boghossian will join us to create atheists the non-sexual way, Eli Bosnick joins us to pan for wisdom in the Bible and Ken Ham sentences space-aliens to eternal torment in hell.

In this week's episode Liberty University makes god-particle physics a prerequisite for med students, we'll talk dirty to you and Thomas from Thomas …

In this week's episode, an Alabama church's inbreeder reactor will reach critical mass, we'll get to the part of the bible your grandma masturbates …

In this week's episode Jake Farr-Wharton will join us to give the show an air of international allure, we'll learn that Nigerian murderers can now plead "atheist" and the Supreme Court will get Noah so pissed you can …

In this week's episode, we'll ask what the f*ck Baha'i is, we'll learn yet another reason to never visit Kenya, we'll throw a couple of new skit concepts against the wall to see if they stick and David from the My Book …

In this week's episode we'll discuss the Spanish SIDS festival, the Supreme Court will get one right for a change, blogger and philosophy professor Dan Fincke will join us to make us better at not believing in god and …

In this week's episode, the FFRF will make Iowa sit in the corner and stare at the wall for the rest of the period, Catholics will rape kids and act …

In this week's episode we'll wonder why they're selling Easter candy in Malaysia, we'll learn that Hitler isn't quite as bad when you compare him to God, and Eli Bosnick will join us to talk about that guy who used to …

In this week's episode, redneck pastors getting bit by snakes gets so common we don't even report it in the headlines any more, God will punish Noah for that abortion he had and Lucinda will join us to discuss Proverbs …

In this week's episode Sudan will kill a hostage in response to draw Muhammad Day, we'll learn the dil-dos and dil-don'ts of life in rural south …

In this week's episode, we'll discuss Noah's rash, a Tennessee college will stand up for cousin-f*cking and Cash from Atheists On Air will join us …

In this week's episode California students will deny the holocaust and present actual Jews as evidence, we'll knock out a whole episode in less time …

In this week's episode we'll visit the land of milk and honey dipping, South Carolina will volunteer to be stupider and a bunch of Christians will …

In this week's episode an Oregon couple's only begotten child will die for their sins, the world will end in a fiery catastrophe and Paul from …

In this week's episode we'll be burdened by Job, the Pope will accept his apology for all the kiddy-diddling on our behalf and Christians find a way …

In this week's episode a Polish priest will discover the Lego brick road to atheism, we'll discuss Heath's balls and we'll learn that god hates gay …

In this week's episode; studies show that you don't have the right to your wrong opinion, we'll declare some crusty old South Carolina state senator …

In this week's episode, Hobby Lobby upgrades their health plan to cover opium tonics, leeches and hysterectomies, we promise to give you this candy bar if you get in the van and we learn that Latina lesbians that like …

In this week's episode we'll learn that buildings blowing up north of 110th street in Manhattan don't count as terrorism, we'll find a Jewish holiday …

In this week's episode a Kenyan pastor will half-a$$ the nudist church concept, we'll step right up and learn about the most unbelievable, inconceivable, incredible, inedible, stupendous and tremendous tonic this side …

In this week's episode, the pedophile isn't Catholic (just kidding, he is), we'll hit you up for money at the end of the show and conception has been …

In this week's episode we kick the mortal sh*t out of last week's episode; we learn that driveby baptizers hold their Super-Soakers sideways, gangsta …

In this week's episode we describe several headlines in bullet point format, we get all the way through a headline about snake handlers with no …

In this week's episode, Tel Aviv archaeologists date camels, we'll p*ss off Chinese midgets and Lucinda will join us in learning that Kingdom of the …

In this week's episode we'll learn how to use bankruptcy to get free kid rapes, Tom and Cecil will stop by for a bit of cognitive dissonance and we'll put an end to free speech, free sight and free hearing to make Helen …

In this week's hour long extravaganza a pastor will learn that despite the bible's claims to the contrary, poison will kill you, Noah will offer a Nebraska State Senator a rim-job, the State Senator will negotiate it up …

In this week's episode we'll revel in the joy of having pi$$-drinking and nun-f*cking in the same news cycle, we'll learn how to rape like a Muslim and Lucinda will join us to put on our monocles and take on First …

In this week's episode a columnist in Tennessee thinks women should be more rape-friendly, a female teacher in Alabama apparently agrees, we'll …

In this week's episode, a New York City Council candidate takes cock as a slap in the face, we'll make a lot of dick jokes, Evan Bernstein will join us to make ghost hunters look even dumber and Heath will accidentally …

In this week's episode, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman die in a tragic running-with-scissors-lesbian-sex accident, we'll make stuff up as we go along and Lucinda will join Heath and Noah to take Two Kings at the same …

In this week's episode Belgium will put the 'youth' back in euthenasia, Optimus Prime will die for your sins and Friendly Atheist Hemant Mehta will rejoin us to help spackle the cracks in the wall of separation.

In this week's episode we learn that humans came on earth via arcing ropes of panspermia, we find out that reindeer games are more hockey than basketball and friendly atheist Hemant Mehta will join us to try to salvage …

In this week's episode we learn that it's hard to roll your Rs with a cock in your mouth, we'll find out that we all have an equal right to hate …

In this week's episode a New Mexico church will offer a money back guarantee if your god is broken, we'll make towel jokes and Kansas City will discover a way to escape the Matrix and get to Zion.

In this week's episode a Methodist Reverend will get flagged for illegal head to head contact on a defenseless tight end reciever as well as illegal glands to the face, we'll take a look at some of the finer points of …

In this week's episode we point out that Christians are really just beta testing the new Jew god, we find out that George W. Bush has still got it and Lucinda joins us to learn that Two Samuel is fun like a clumsy …

In this week's episode, Christians build a big plane so that they can put smaller planes in it so they can put bibles in them, we'll say "Put 30 seconds on the clock" and then do a 53 second bit and because of sheer …

In this week's episode we'll refresh our listeners with some cerebral rape jokes, the Jews will continue to have not murdered Jesus and we'll do an …

In this week's episode we remind you in advance that deaf people can't hear the jokes we make about them, we'll be one of only six programs released today with no stupid Halloween puns and we'll go elbow deep into the …

In this week's episode we'll learn that Texas would make a great electoral college drop out state, the Tea Party will sue a gaggle of gay rhesus …

In this week's episode we'll praise Lesus, our Jord and Savior, a homeopath will commit suicide by cutting off his pinky toe and what's-his-name from Thomas and the Bible will join us to talk about some book or another.

In this week's episode we learn that people who really love America work to overthrow it, we explore a new, humane, cage-free form of rape joke and we finger bang for Jesus.

In this week's episode we learn that the portrayal of Muslim culture in 90s action movies was entirely accurate, Russia will finally get Coke, …

In this week's episode we'll learn that the Lone Star State was being graded on a scale of five stars, we'll find out that you can't say bomb on an airplane, fire in a theater or atheist on a bus and we'll make abortion …

In this week's episode Lucinda will join us in the Holy Babble to take the edge off the concubine gangrape jokes, Christians will drink poop and …

In this week's episode we'll do the classy thing and cut the story with all the leukemia jokes, we'll learn that there's still a level of evil that …

In this week's episode we'll find Jesus and he'll be at the South African Sex Expo just like we expected, we'll correct all the stuff we screwed up last week and the New England Patriots will cancel the next season of …

In this week's episode the Pope raises eyebrows with his new "Don't tell, Don't tell" sex abuse policy, a high school in Indonesia will consider a …

In this episode we learn all about HIV positive thinking, National Geographic debuts the new "Jump the Shark Week" and a Christian fundamentalist will prove that either dragons are real or god isn't.