Cover art for podcast The Relaxed Male

The Relaxed Male

224 EpisodesProduced by Bryan GoodwinWebsite

The Relaxed Male is a podcast dedicated to empowering men to build healthier, more fulfilling relationships in all areas of their lives. Whether it's romantic partnerships, family bonds, friendships, or professional connections, this show provides insights and actionable advice for building and main… read more

27:46

Where Do You Want To Go

We find ourselves stuck in so many situations and those circumstances are things that are beyond our control this is true. Yet there are so many times that we believe that stuck in that situation and so we either do nothing about it or complain about our situation.

That feeling of being stuck and not being able to change is a part of the self-programming that we do. We are just bad at sports or we suck as a husband. Maybe our wife hasn't been intimate with us in many months so we start trying all sorts of different remedies. Many are literal magic pills we think will help.

Go look at any convenience store counter and you will see small packages that are supposed to help you be a better lover in bed. They make claims that you will have a larger penis or last longer during sex. Some are directed at her. We men have been looking for an aphrodisiac that will turn our wife into a wild insatiable woman for eons. Because we want to blame our wives for the circumstance we are in and not how we are looking at the circumstance.

Then again you may have yourself in a dead-end job. You complain about how you are never offered a promotion. So you just sit there and grow resentful. Then you take that resentment home and brood on it while you sit in front of the television or on a video game and do nothing about the problem.

You feel stuck and the more you stay the more bogged down you feel. You think this is your lot in life, it's not a lot but it's your life. Then start to drink or find other avenues to escape the misery and suffering you feel.

What is keeping you stuck in your current life?

Realize that what is actually keeping you stuck isn't your boss not saying "good job" and telling you that you should be Vice president of shipping or your wife isn't fridge. Your suffering is caused by only one person. That person is you.

Harsh I know I wish Pink pussy cat really did work in turning your wife into a nymphomaniac but in the end, it doesn't. She isn't turned on, night after night because you aren't giving her a reason to be turned on, night after night.

The course your life is on at the moment may look sad dark and bleak It is that way because you chose to be that way. But there is good news, since it is your choice, you aren't stuck!

How do you change where you want to go?

First, you have to realize that there is a problem. That can be the easiest part because you are not being fulfilled and feeling motivated. The hard part is not pointing the discontent toward those who are not actually responsible. You have to start looking inward and examining your thoughts to see what is actually possible. Pick apart the places where you are actually going astray.

Looking and examining yourself isn't self-hatred unless you fall into dumping all over yourself. If that is the case then Lighten up give yourself some grace. You are only human and you are going to screw things up. Take those screw-ups as learning moments. Grow from those and have fun as you learn.

Life is way too short to take so seriously. As you go on your journey, you will see where your life is on the wrong track and that you are actually allowed to change tracks whenever you want to.

Make a Plan

Once you have pinpointed what is actually wrong with your lives plan, You can then start making changes to your life. You can switch tracks and modify your plan so that you are able to be more fulfilled and have a sense of purpose.

It all starts with a plan

Layout your plan

Maybe you see you need some coaching or do some research on what it is that you would like to do. Invest in yourself decide that you are worthy of investing in. This is a sad part of many people who are in scarcity. They don't see themselves as worthy of being better. So they go through life without a plan or if they come across a plan it is some easy quick fix.

This is the folly we fall into, we try quick fixes instead of doing the real work that is needed. We try changing our situation instead of changing how we are looking at the world.

Listen to what your excuses are

When you come up with a plan listen to what you are telling yourself. You will find 100 different reasons as to why this plan isn't going to work. This is your mind saying slow down your current life isn't so bad it's actually nice. No hard work you don't have to expel any extra energy and so why work so hard?

In fact, use this as a bit of a ginger counter if you aren't getting a bit scared and you aren't hearing any reasons as to why this won't work then keep looking when your mind is coming up with all those reasons hard and fast the is probably the path you really need to take.

Look at fear as if it was a compass

Start small but make it scary too

You don't have to uproot your whole life but make small changes. maybe it is you needing to shore up one or more of your Pillars. So you may need to start eating right and getting out and exercising. Or you need to go join a group of men so you can expand your community.

Start small and find the joy in that little dopamine hit you get with each small success. Those small steps are the keys to massive action.

Don't worry about not following it note for note

You may decide to have a 10-year Don't worry if it doesn't turn out exactly as you planned you will be way, way closer at that point than if you never started.

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