The Gender Knot

2021 is giving 2020 a run for it’s money… sorry we’ve been away, but want to point you to a investigative podcast Nas put out recently for BBC Radio …

We’re back with a bonus hiatus episode and we’re talking about victim blaming, especially as it pertains to sexual assault. This is when a victim of …

We close season 6 with journalist Liz Plank. She’s just written a book about mindful masculinity and tells us about the general scripts we have about …

We revisit this important topic just once more to really hammer out the purpose of an apology and some dos and don’ts.

We get some tips and insight …

We talk a lot about what men can be doing right now, but we revisit a chat with Esther Perel on what women can be doing right now, and how we can all best be allies to one another.

Guest:
Esther Perel, therapist, author …

Everyone’s talking more about consent but where does this start? Educator Ellen Frederichs joins us to chat about how consent starts with kids and why we all need to be more specific about our experiences.

Guest:
Ellen …

Journalist Hussein Kesvani writes a lot about the internet, and about masculinity, and about the intersection of the two. He recently interviewed …

We re-visit some wisdom from the sex and relationship advice columnist and host of the Savage LoveCast Dan Savage, who tells us what straight couples …

Journalist and author of the book ‘For the Love of Men: a vision for mindful masculinity’ tells us about meeting women who support who Trump, and …

We’re back with Season 6. We talk to author Jeannie Vanasco who interviewed a friend from her teenage years who raped her 15 years ago. Vanasco got in touch with him to find out if and how the rape impacted him, and …

We're back with a bonus episode during our hiatus to discuss an email we received about none other than everyone's favorite topic: Emotional Labour! …

We revisit a conversation from earlier this year where we explored how men can be allies if their behaviour towards women has been problematic. Our …

From Aziz Ansari to Eve Ensler to why on earth apologies are so hard, we dive in and also discuss the best way to give an apology.

We’re on hiatus and …

We end season 5 by hearing Mark Manson’s tips for men during these confusing times, including how men can help each other out and his predictions about how we'll all get along in the future.

Check out his new book …

You’ve been writing to us about vulnerability following our previous two rounds and we’re going to delve into your thoughts and experiences. This …

LBC radio host Matt Stadlen joined us to chat vulnerability recently. This time we go into men talking about sex: how much and how do men really talk …

Author of the book ‘Rape’ Mithu Sanyal fills us in on ways we can approach talking about rape and giving support, and why consent culture is tricky …

We recently talked to LBC’s Matt Stadlen about vulnerability and how especially men can struggle with this in relationships. We delve back in and …

The hit author talks about his new book ‘Everything is fucked: A book about hope’, and how technology and choice are impacting how we live and make …

This week, LBC's Matt Stadlen joins us to talk about vulnerability. We try to uncover some of the reasons why men and women have a hard time opening …

The author of hit book ‘The subtle art of not giving a fuck’ talks to Dan about how pornography and the way it’s impacted men’s interest in sex, and …

This episode we discuss the line between courting someone and stalking. What can often start off as something innocent looking can very easily turn into a frightening situation. Laura Mucha, author of the book Love …

Welcome to Season 5! We’ve re-branded the podcast, and going to be focusing on trying to get men and women to get along. We chat about this new direction a little and catch up on some of your mail from over the hiatus …

All female episode this week, Nas and Sam chat about self care and ask if it’s bullshit. Self care has become very popular among women, especially on …

As a man, who do you talk to about sex? What about feelings? How about everything else? This week Dan and Jonny are hosting a Men Only episode with guest German Villegas to discuss who men can talk to about what’s …

So, you’ve hurt someone or done something bad and want to make amends? We run through our experiences on the best ways to do this. We also revisit last week’s topic of emotional labour and hear from our audience on what …

What exactly is emotional labour? Nas talks about it all the time, Dan is still unclear about what it is, so he speaks to Gemma Hartley, Author of ‘Fed Up: Emotional labor, women and the way forward’, to find out more.

…

Last week we talked about the importance of men being allies even if they haven’t been perfect in their behaviour towards women, but is there a line to this?

Today’s guest tells us of a time he was called out and ended …

We brainstorm a list of things men can do to be allies to women, and how women can best encourage men trying to be allies. And we want to hear from you on what has or hasn’t worked in your own lives.

Sponsor:
Blinkist - …

Why are meltdowns gendered? Do we ever talk of men having meltdowns? If not then why not, and what does this mean about our expectations of how women and men can express themselves? We get some help from our friends at …

Nas often feels like she’s walking on eggshells on this show; she has to be honest with men but also keep them engaged and not annoy them so much that they tune out of the show, and these conversations, altogether. Dan …

You’ll have noticed we’ve been changing the direction of the podcast over the past few weeks, with there being fewer abstract explorations of ideas and more delving into the nitty gritty of how men and women can …

Porn is pervasive in today's internet culture. But does the typical male gaze leave women out of the viewing audience? And what does this one-way …

Our listeners are annoyed! Many of you were unhappy with our take on disenfranchised men last week after we interviewed former New York Times reporter and author Andrew Yarrow, who has written Man Out about men on the …

Former New York Times journalist Andrew Yarrow joins us to talk about why so many men in America feel disenfranchised, and how this is impacting everyone else.

Men around the world have seen their position shift …

A few weeks ago Dan tried to convince us that the stereotype of men having commitment issues was exaggerated and false, and he made a good case for this. But Nas was still left wondering where these assumptions come …

It’s a year since allegations against Harvey Weinstein broke, leading to a real opening of conversation about sexual harassment and assault against …

Hit podcast Slow Burn just spent their second season looking at the saga around Bill Clinton’s impeachment. They revisited Bill Clinton’s affair with …

Former dominatrix and Taoist nun Kasia Urbaniak teaches women about power and influence at her school The Academy.

She walks us through this unique …

The love, sex and relationship guru and host of the Savage Lovecast gives us his thoughts and tips!

Note: this episode is very Not Safe For Work – save for later if that’s relevant!

Also, co-host Jonathan Freeman is …

It’s a big cliché that men are scared to commit, don’t want to be tied down, are always ‘hitting the road’ and leaving promising relationships with women. 

Today’s guest thinks this is a simply not true and actually …

Why is shame such an issue for men despite the privileges men still have in almost all societies? Is privilege itself part of the problem, and what can be done to tackle this issue? Women are also being vocal about …

In April, a report by the UK governments and the Equalities and Human Rights Commission showed that 80% of large companies still paid male employees more than the women. In the US, in 2017 women still earnt just 82% of …

Men’s groups can’t be a substitute for therapy, says today’s guest. We recently looked at men’s groups and had some interesting feedback. Despite all the positives we hear, that can be problems which are worth knowing …

Jonathan is stuck in the library in DC, and Nas and Sam and Jonny in London are all swamped, so we decided to play you an episode of one of our favourite podcasts while we work on more Gender Knot material for you for …

‘Transformative’ is a word we’ve heard from so many men who’ve benefitted from men’s groups. It’s a topic that’s comes up on this podcast a lot. Why are so many men getting together with other men to talk about their …

This week’s guest emailed 700 people asking to be set up on a date, and followed up with everyone a year later detailing what happened. The most …

Male Shame lies at the root of so many problematic dynamics between men and women, whether on an individual or a society-wide scale. The problem is many men have a very limited space where they can explore their shame, …

Speaking more forcefully, being more assertive (or even aggressive), over-confidence and being unrealistic about outcomes; these are just some of the …

We got a curious email from the folks at Ashley Madison recently – that’s the dating website for people looking for discreet encounters, such as …

In season 2 we explored why we’re scared of ambitious women, and talked to our co-producer Sam and a teacher about the roots of this problem. It was an episode which really resonated with so many women who listen to …

This is the century where men need to rethink their identities at home and at work, says world renowned therapist Esther Perel, and that things will only change for women once men do this. We hear about her experiences …

Stephanie Butnick of the Unorthodox podcast and Tablet Magazine joins us to kick of season 3 where we ask if the men accused of sexual assault and …

Pulitzer Prize winning author Junot Diaz recently joined a line of men such as Louis CK and Aziz Ansari who had been looked to by some people as …

A man going off on a solo expedition into the wilderness when he’s having a dilemma or a tough time or when he needs to make a difficult decision is …

We’ve heard a lot about the dilemmas surrounding men and their feelings on this podcast: how boys are raised with little acknowledgement of their feelings or disallowed from expressing or exploring them, to the …

We just made Time Magazine’s list of 50 best podcasts - http://time.com/5178078/best-podcasts-2018/ - and they recommended this episode from earlier in season 2, which is also one of our favorites, so we’re replaying it …

Ambitious women get held to tricky double standards; there’s the expectation that they should have the drive and vision of ambitious men but are also …

Former Apprentice contestant Michaela Wain and journalist Chris Hemmings help us figure out if women can break into boys clubs – those industries where men favour each other for jobs and create an atmosphere which makes …

James Barr, co-host of the hit LGBTQ+ podcast A Gay and a Non-Gay, posed this question to us and joins as a special co-host for this episode.

Gay men have been gaining more rights and visibility, and yet homophobia …

We have our live show on Monday 26th February! We’ll be joined by guests Michaela Wain entrepreneur, contestant on The Apprentice, and Chris Hemmings https://twitter.com/hemmch journalist, author of ‘Be a Man’ as we …

We’re gearing up for our first live show next week, so are replaying one of our favourite episodes from season 1.

Mark Manson is a self-development expert and the author of the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck’. …

Many men seem to struggle with expressing their feelings, and with generally dealing with their feelings in the first place. It’s a complaint women often have, but how much truth is there to this? What’s the deal with …

The world of work was mostly made by men for men. As more women enter and rise through the economy, there’s a lot of dissatisfaction and discussion about how things are done; why is everything about achievement? Is …

Being understanding, empathetic, seeing the other side of the story, being compassionate: these are many very classic feminine traits. But the upside of someone who is too compassionate is often also someone who lets …

The pressure to achieve is often a big deal for men across many cultures. Notions of success and failure are closely tied in with masculinity. At the …

We explore some differing experiences: from a young man who tried to get respect from men through sleeping with women, to sex in a long term monogamous relationship, to the in-betweens. And can we ever really get …

We kick off season two with a question for men who want to be better allies to women: how can men best help feminism?

It’s a pivotal moment in …

Many people have expressed concern about what behaviour is or isn’t appropriate when it comes to dating, including dating in the workplace. We explore the nuances.

We also welcome our co-host for season 2: Jonathan …

The actor and model Nico Tortorella has talked about being sexually fluid, and explores his sexuality and his relationships in his podcast The Love Bomb. The star of the hit TV series Younger talks to us about his …

The transformational power of men’s groups have come up several times on this podcast, but men’s groups often have a pretty bad and misleading reputation. The author of ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck’ talks about …

Dizraeli had a breakdown last year. The MC and poet found it hard to talk about what was going on with him, and also found little support from men when he did reach out. He managed to seek help and is now focused on …

Theresa May recently attended the Pink News Awards – the first sitting UK Prime Minister to do so. These awards recognise people who have worked to improve LGBTQ plus life in the UK. Some people praised her for this and …

Mark Manson, the author of the New York Times bestseller ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck’ and self-development expert, has spent a decade or so working closely with people, helping them improve all aspects of their …

#MeToo has seen women around the world sharing their experiences with sexual harassment and sexual assault. Now two other hashtags have grown in …

Being an activist is all about changing the world: from the structures that shape our societies down to the daily conversations we have with each other. Deray McKesson has been active in Black Lives Matter and he is …

We recently asked if women politicians can call people out, a subject that was pertinent given Hillary Clinton’s latest book where she does just …

Playboy founder Hugh Hefner passed away last week. There’s been a ton of debate about his impact on women: did he treat them as sex objects or did he liberate them from strict sexual values? And people have also been …

Hillary Clinton apparently isn’t authentic. Except for when she is, and then no one can handle it!

Hillary Clinton’s new book ‘What Happened’ delves into the circumstances around her losing last year’s American …

We’re trying to untangle the new masculinity and femininity, but is that even a relevant mission? Or should we be trying to figure out a post-gender …

Gender neutral clothing is all over the news at the moment. Just a few examples include school children protesting why girls and boys have to dress …

Dominating, debating, having to be right – these are just some behaviours that are often common in people with power. And they are often also used by …

What is a man’s role in society these days? This question seems to be coming up again and again. The rise of women and feminism, together with …

A male product manager at a tech company gives his take on the Google Memo that’s been a big topic of discussion in recent weeks.

To bring you up to speed: a software developer at Google called James Demore wrote a memo …

‘The future is female’ – it’s a slogan we’re seeing increasingly, on t-shirts and placards and social media feeds. And there are currently plenty of important and necessary debates about getting more women into the …

What is masculine and feminine energy? This short and sweet episode lays down the basics!

We’ll find out what we mean when we talk about masculine and …

Why are so many people around me suddenly joining men’s groups and women’s groups? Isn’t the notion of segregating ourselves due to gender a little… outdated? After all, so many of our social issues are related to us …

Confusion, frustration, empathy, being able to relate – just some of the reactions I received from you, the audience, to last week’s episode …

Should men be involved in feminism, and if so, how?

Men are super involved in feminism these days – and there appears to be a cultural trend in …

What sort of sexism takes place in the workplace that we still don’t acknowledge or talk about?

There’s been a lot of talk about sexism in the …

Hillary Clinton was often criticised for being too ‘cold’ and ‘unemotional’ during her 2016 US Presidential bid. Many women in the West can relate to …

You’ve heard of Leaning In but how about Leaning Back? Over the past few years a lot of women have undertaken Sheryl Sandberg’s advice to assert themselves more, to speak louder and to sit at the table. But some women …

Masculinity gets a bad reputation these days. We hear a lot about what’s wrong with it, but what about the good sides, and also the messy sides? I …

The podcast where we untangle the new masculinity and femininity. These are exciting times; we’re re-defining gender roles, but let’s be honest, …