Cover art for podcast The Faucet with Myq Kaplan

The Faucet with Myq Kaplan

100 EpisodesProduced by Myq KaplanWebsite

Comedian Myq (Mike) Kaplan is The Faucet.Except instead of water like from a literal faucet, what comes out are words, thoughts, ideas, jokes, rhymes, philosophies, fun, and more, in a stream of consciousness. A stream. Like water. See? Like this.

episodes iconAll Episodes

123: The Letter and the Spirit of Friendship with Liz Glazer

January 7th, 2022


In today's pod-meal, the first of 2022 (happy now year!), Myq has a conversation with dear friend and fellow faucet Liz Glazer, on the anniversary of the birth of their friendship. Please enjoy this delight of a chat, …

122: MY Q&A at Steel City AF

December 23rd, 2021


On today's extra-large pod-meal, Myq answers questions from other comedians at Steel City AF. Enjoy!

121: Bones, Stones, Scones, & Phones

November 17th, 2021


In today's pod-snack so large it might be a pod-meal, Myq shares about all that's been going on since the last Faucet episode dropped in late October.

There were trips to Raleigh and Maryland. There were enjoyable …

120: Wonderstanding / A Bat Is A Fallen Bird

October 25th, 2021


In today's pod-snack, Myq discusses things that are (hopefully) kind, true, and necessary. He shares about the birds and the bats and the mice and …

119: Fam, ILY!

October 19th, 2021


In today's pod-snack, Myq is on the phone with Rini and her mom and some cats but you can only hear Myq's side of the conversation and fortunately (!) he does nearly all the talking. The cats do the least. A delivery …

118: Food Pants Books

October 9th, 2021


In today's pod snack/meal (bigger than some snacks, smaller than some meals), Myq podcasts for the first time as a 43-year-old! He and Rini are on a …

117: Turns and Twists

September 27th, 2021


In today's pod-snack, Myq reads a delightful email that he received and also recommends Demetri Martin and comedy/beat-boxing combinations. 

Glad …

116: The Truth-brary

September 19th, 2021


In today's pod-snack, Myq shares about a journey to the Strand. It's a story about books! And more. Books And More. BAM! Thanks for listening or at least reading about listening! You. Are. Nice!

115: Salem If Ya Got 'Em!

September 13th, 2021


In today's pod-snack, Myq talks about the past week's events, including a fun trip to Salem, MA where he performed with Liz Glazer at the E.Love.Ate Festival, as well as Rini's improved health! Hooray for all! Thanks …

114: Fork Score and Several Days Ago

September 7th, 2021


In today's pod-snack, Myq wishes everyone a happy Jewish new year, or a happy Tuesday, as you wish. He discusses his recent trip to Utah, Rini's recent trip to the ER, and more.

Alternate titles:

Our Fork-Fathers (and …

113: No One To Brain But Yourself

August 30th, 2021


This pod-snack might be the shortest pod-snack yet! Or maybe second-shortest. Or who knows. It's not a pod-shortness competition! It's just a fun …

112: Friend Expert

August 21st, 2021


In today's pod-snack, Myq shares about what he's been up to this past week. Voice acting! Being tired! Doing comedy! Seeing "Your Love, Our Musical"! Enjoying friendship! More!

111: Reedy or Not

August 14th, 2021


In today's pod-snack, Myq reports live-ish (and getting less live-ish with every passing moment) from Pittsburgh. It's a burgh but it's not the pitts! (It's enjoyable!) Please enjoy this enjoyable enjoyment.

Alternate …

110: Toe Ring Touring (The Coffee Table Tour Saga Concludes! Part 5 I Think!)

August 10th, 2021


In today's pod-snack, Myq shares about the final days of the tour. The last exciting shows in Minnesota. The one wonderful show in Chicago. The stop …

109: Air Book and Book (Coffee Table Tour Episode 4!)

July 30th, 2021


On today's pod-snack, Myq catches everyone up with the final days of the Missouri tour portion and the initial days of the Minnesota travel leg! Welcome! Books and friends and more galore! Some places don't give you …

108: Puzzle Puzzlings (Coffee Table Tour Installmentation 3!)

July 21st, 2021


In today's pod-snack, Myq catches everyone up on the last few days of the Coffee Table Tour in Missouri! It involves a lot of puzzle talk! Do you …

107: Take a Geoff Tate Break (Coffee Table Tour Part 2!)

July 17th, 2021


On today's pod-snack, Myq shares about his and Rini's second day on tour: Cincinnati, home of wonderful comedian friend Geoff Tate. Check out Geoff's …

106: The Coffee Table Tour Begins (Day 1!)

July 15th, 2021


In today's pod-snack, Myq shares about Day 1 of his current three-week tour with Rini from NYC to MO and MN and back! First stop: Morgantown, WV. Verdict? Success! Real fun show, real nice people, real nice vegan food, …

105: The Supposed-Ta Child

July 4th, 2021


In today's pod-snack, Myq talks about Buddhist art, the book Visual Intelligence, a joke by friend Shane Mauss, and wisdom from a grandfather. Hope you enjoy!

104: Yelping For Joy

June 29th, 2021


On today's pod-snack, Myq talks about why there wasn't a pod-meal this weekend, because he was out of town for the first time since pre-pandemic. He recommends the used bookstore "Company of Books" in Virginia where he …


June 19th, 2021


On today's pod-meal, Myq discusses Gödel's Incompleteness Theorem (not completely!), wise words from old friend the Dalai Lama, and probably more who …

102: Figs Are Bananas!

June 19th, 2021


On today's pod-meal, Myq discusses a fun non-pod-meal that he had with his friend Jasmin Singer, a fun email exchange he had with his friend Gus, and a number of other letters combined into words combined into sentences …

101: Faucet 101

June 12th, 2021


On this pod-snack, Myq offers a brief, unnecessary Faucet 101, in honor of this being Faucet's 101th episode. Enjoy as Myq shades some light on the subject of this podcast.

100: Our 100th Episode SpectaculOUR!

June 7th, 2021


On today's pod-snack, Myq and Rini celebrate 100 episodes of this podcast by discussing a wedding they went to and how it's nice to spend a road trip. You know, a podcast! Thanks for listening. (To this, and in …

99: Technical Difficult Ease

May 29th, 2021


On today's pod-meal, Myq shows off his new haircut as much as he can via audio. He recommends: A) Mindy Tucker who photographed the hair-cutting process, B) the Housing Works Bookstore where he walked with his friend …

98: You Say Potato, I Say Bananas

May 22nd, 2021


On today's pod-meal, Myq discusses food, love, his friend Micah, his mom Mom, the book by Kate Murphy "You're Not Listening" which he highly recommends, and more.


97: Quiet as a Mouth

May 16th, 2021


On today's pod-meal, Myq recommends a book he's reading called "You're Not Listening" by Kate Murphy. It's good! He probably says other things as well, but he doesn't remember because wasn't listening.

Love to all!

96: Potatoes Are Money / Happy Birthday Rini!

May 8th, 2021


In today's pod-meal, Myq wishes a happy birthday to his beloved girlfriend Rini and also to his latest album "A.K.A." which turns one year old today! …

95: A Suspecting Audience

May 1st, 2021


In today's pod-meal, Myq shares about his recently deceased step-sister, and also some about genies, ice cream, and elephants.

Love to all.

94: Onomatopoetry

April 24th, 2021


On today's pod-meal, Myq discusses Yogi Bear and other hungry cartoon animals, nature and nurture, the Zoom boom, seeing friends in the park, the similarities between humans and apes and bananas, how frozen and/or …

93: Clock Whiskers

April 16th, 2021


On today's pod-meal, Myq discusses several items he forgot to last time, as well as the topic of forgetfulness itself, which he may have talked about …

92: Nameless Amos

April 10th, 2021


On today's pod-meal, Myq discusses cookies, jokes, shapes, fame, rooms, saunas, keeping kosher, learning an instrument, teaching, cheating, the …

91: Tom After Tom

April 3rd, 2021


In today's pod-meal, Myq talks about history, vaccinations, cats, dogs, falcons, Golden Girls, his friend Cory Allen's podcast the Astral Hustle, and …

90: Driving Miss Baby

March 31st, 2021


On today's pod-meal, Myq discusses vaccinations (he just became eligible! are you? do you know? can you help other folks find out if they are …

89: The Present-Minded Professor

March 26th, 2021


In today's pod-meal, Myq shares about his experience at a former professor's memorial that he attended earlier in the day. It was beautiful and …

88: Spring It On!

March 20th, 2021


On today's pod-meal, Myq discusses the start of spring, the anniversary of his grandmother's death, getting enough sleep, (limited and specific) gratitude to giant social media corporations, and the heat death of the …

87: Day Owl / Words With Anyone / Fun Units

March 13th, 2021


On today's pod-meal, Myq discusses the events of his past week (AND MORE), including (BUT NOT LIMITED TO) a conversation with a friend about death, game shows, a child's perfect joke, comments out of context, AND WHO …

86: Real IDs / Out-of-Context Comments / At Least One Hijink

March 6th, 2021


In today's pod-meal, Myq live-streams while recording and introduces a new segment called "out-of-context comments"! Thanks to all who listened live, and also thanks all who listen UN-live. UN-live listeners keep this …

85: Tome Poem Home Zone / Paper Clip-Clop

February 27th, 2021


On today's pod-meal, Myq offers some jokes, some poems, and some things that transcend jokes and poems. Discussed are the wonderful works and words …

84: Beast of Buddhism

February 20th, 2021


On today's pod-meal, Myq recommends the works, lives, arts, friendships, dreams, and related experiences of/with Adam Busch, Liz Glazer, Ram Dass, Lyssa Mandel, Henry Phillips, Joe List, Maya Angelou, Moses Hogan, …

83: The Hallie Berry Ha! Library (Welcome to Art Nuggets)

February 13th, 2021


In today's pod-meal, Myq introduces the concept of "art nuggets" and shared some! As well as some new words that he learned recently that start with "o" and end with "t" and have one letter in between them. (There are …

82: Like a Moth to Two Flames

February 6th, 2021


In today's pod-meal, Myq shares a recommendation to see "In & Of Itself" and also to not learn too much about it or to see too many previews unless that's what you want to do (he's not your boss). Do what you want! …

81: Smullyan Simoleons

January 31st, 2021


In tonight's pod-meal, Myq shares stories about Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, the philosopher Raymond Smullyan, and more. How much more? Much much …

80: Oy Yoy Joy (On Why I Recommend My Friend Tristan Miller's Newsletter)

January 29th, 2021


In today's pod-snack, Myq shares a joyful exchange he had today with his good friend Tristan Miller, who has a newsletter that is worth receiving! He …

79: Fonzie Bear

January 23rd, 2021


On today's pod-meal, Myq discusses the various world record-breaking comedy endeavors he's been a part of, his mother's favorite standups, Muppets, non-Muppets, and more! Enjoy!

78: Variations on The Me

January 16th, 2021


On today's self-contained (?) pod-meal, Myq discusses the comfort of mysteries, his love of various Jim Carrey movies, his mother's taste in media, and more! Come for the fun, stay for the fun!

77: Tears of Light

January 15th, 2021


In today's pod snack, Myq spends most of the time recommending that you listen to his latest Broccoli and Ice Cream episode, in which his mother is …

76: Memory Patricks

January 9th, 2021


In today's pod-meal, Myq discusses memories about memory.

Also covered are things like remembering, reminding, and I forget what else.

Myq recommends the scientific and artistic entertainment creations of Dan Ariely, …

75: Primary Fruits

January 8th, 2021


On today's pod-snack, Myq discusses animals, vegetables, and minerals, except for the minerals, and more fruits than vegetables. But definitely animals! Have fun listening!

74: Rabbit Rabbit Habit

January 2nd, 2021


Happy NOW Year! In this first episode of 2021, Myq offers some year-beginning reflections. He recommends all kinds of friends and artists, including Jo Firestone and Zach Sherwin, and well, he recommends listening to …

73: Cuddle Up With Your Sentient Being of Choice and Enjoy Some Silent Fireworks

December 31st, 2020


Myq rings out the old year (or wrings it out?) in this episode, with wonderings about who might be listening on this very New Year's Eve day! Is it …

72: Proper Gander

December 26th, 2020


On today's year-end pod-meal, Myq discusses listening to holiday music all year round, making resolutions whenever, using fun vegan euphemisms, …

71: Bard to the Bone

December 20th, 2020


In tonight's pod-meal, Myq shares some poetry, recommends Codenames again, offers a week in review, and generally has a nice time that you can also have.

Alternate Titles:

Antique Country Roads Show
Faucet Auspices

70: Happy Hanukkah, Nonukkah, and Beyonukkah!

December 18th, 2020


On tonight's pod-snack, Myq celebrates the final night of Hanukkah and also the rest of everything. Enjoy please and thank you as desired and …

69: A Real Godblessit

December 12th, 2020


On today's podcast, Myq celebrates the birthday (today! December 12!) of his beloved Grandma Iris, who died earlier this year at 91. Now she's 92, or infinity. Not sure. Both?

Memories and stories and love abound. …

68: Tonight Is the First Night of the Rest of Your Life (and Chanukah!)

December 10th, 2020


On tonight's pod-snack, Myq celebrates the first night of Chanukah with a bunch of jokes about it. Enjoy!

67: John Absurd and the AppMapper App

December 5th, 2020


On today's pod-meal, Myq big ups his friend Liz Glazer (and their weekly IG live chat show, Weird Week Wednesdays), his mother, Rini's Aunt Annette, …

66: I Am Happy For Elliot Page (All Sincerity, Plus One Silly Unrelated Poem)

December 5th, 2020


Elliot Page came out as trans this week. I am happy for him/them. I expressed it on social media, and an overwhelming majority of people I know who responded did so positively, and I wanted to share that here as well, …

65: Branching Out (Another Edition of Excalibur the Eyebrow)

December 2nd, 2020


In tonight's pod-snack, Myq shares some news and social media responses about Excalibrow. (Excalibur the Eyebrow. For short. With this extended parenthetical. For long. But not for long!)

64: Castle Grade School

December 1st, 2020


On tonight's final pod of November, Myq discusses gratitudes of the past week, doing podcasts with Sagar Bhatt, Bethany Van Delft, Micah Sherman, Brett Singer, Willie Caldwell, Ivan Anderson, and more. He recommends the …

63: The Amazing Spider-Shoe

November 28th, 2020


In today's pod-meal, Myq discusses a recent online friendly neighborhood spider-debate about shoes, boots, trucks, and cars, having nothing to do with spiders or Spider-Man. Please enjoy!

62: The Spectacular Spider-Dan(ny Hatch)

November 25th, 2020


On tonight's pod-snack, Myq sings the praises of The Comedy Studio Podcast, hosted by wonderful friend and hilarious comedian Danny Hatch, with …

61: Web of Spider-Grace

November 22nd, 2020


On today's pod-snack, Gratitude Week continues! Or kicks off! Or was here the entire time! Myq shares some fun interactions he had online about …

60: The Unadorned Spider-Pod

November 21st, 2020


On tonight's pod-meal, Myq discusses the giving of thanks, the naming of "Gratitudes," the defining of assholery, the concept of crossovers in comic …

59: Dolly Parton Joke Hydra

November 18th, 2020


On today's pod-snack, it's another edition of "Something Happened On Social Media And Myq Talks About It" or something of that nature. Myq posted a joke last night, and this morning, a social media company said that the …

58: I Declare an Armoire

November 14th, 2020


On today's pod-meal, Myq shares the resolution of the previous episode's sink saga, helps Rini address a bug in their home, and highlights meaningful …

57: November Drain

November 12th, 2020


In today's pod-snack, Myq shares about his recent/current challenges regarding the bathroom sink.

Related topics include high school nicknames, what …

56: Dream Laundry

November 11th, 2020


On today's pod-snack, Myq shares a couple fun past conversations with Rini, and also some stories about near-indestructible insects that we don't need to worry about probably but it IS unsettling.


55: A (So Much) Fun

November 8th, 2020


Happy election day week year pandemic eon billion whatsomethings!

On today's pod-meal, Myq shares some election tweets/news, tells some stories of nice things happenings online, recommends the work of Nick Vatterott and …

54: Sup, Supposers!

November 5th, 2020


On tonight's pod-snack, Myq discusses acting, actors, actions, acts, and more!

The more includes imagining and remembering. Can you even imagine? Well, listen, and then you can remember.

Remember to imagine, and/or …

53: Election Eve (Plus Weird Poetry)

November 2nd, 2020


On tonight's pre-election pod-snack, Myq discusses the weirdness of now, and also other weirdnesses and non-weirdnesses. Also, there are some limericks or haikus or both, but almost certainly not neither!

52: A Real Mindful

October 31st, 2020


On today's spooky Saturday edition, Myq discusses Halloween, roller coasters, elections, and other scary things.

Myq talks about his scary …

51: Excalibur the Eyebrow

October 30th, 2020


Today's pod-snack is dedicated to Myq's longest eyebrow hair, which his beloved Rini encouraged and then photographed and which then became a brief internet sensation. Check it out on Reddit and Twitter and Facebook and …

50: Warmth Recognize Warmth

October 28th, 2020


In today's pod-meal, Myq brings up the old topic of how he likes bringing up new topics.

Also discussed: Niels Bohr, losing things, David Letterman, …

49: Recommend-a-Friend

October 24th, 2020


On today's pod-snack, Myq recommends the various works of Matt Knudsen, Matt Kirshen, Moshe Kasher, Jim Gaffigan, Joe Zimmerman, Stuart Goldsmith, …

48: Who's On Faucet?

October 22nd, 2020


For today's pod-meal, Myq discusses his storied history with baseball, Archie, Savage Dragon, other comics, grapes, how science works, the passage of time, poet Robert Hass, phood groups, and phun with phonetics.

47: The Power of Grandma Compels You

October 21st, 2020


In tonight's bedtime pod-snack, Myq discusses art, basketball, bowling, space, time, and more!

Good night and/or non-night!

46: That American Life

October 16th, 2020


In today's pod-meal, Myq wonders whether babies listen to his podcast, why bowling is called bowling, and about the unwise things that Socrates and Confucius must have said.

Also there's a lot of talk about birthdays, …

45: The Deep Dish 'Zaga Part 2

October 16th, 2020


The stunning conclusion of the Faucet's first two-parter! Myq continues to share about some interactions with a fan who didn't love a joke that Myq DID love. What happens? Find out now. Or another time. Whenever you'd …

44: The Deep Dish 'Zaga

October 14th, 2020


On today's pod-snack, Myq discusses some interactions he had with a fan about pizza, lasagna, comedy, and how to live in the world today. Enjoy!

43: You Can't Spell Mustache Without Me

October 10th, 2020


On today's pod-meal, Myq dishes about mustaches and more.
Rini dishes about a particular laugh-heavy tea-time.

Myq recommends Cory Allen, Ramin …

42: 42 Day

October 8th, 2020


In tonight's 42nd episode, Myq does his first podcast as a 42-year-old! Happy birthday to him/me/us all!

41: For Sale, Hemingway Story, Never Verified

October 7th, 2020


In tonight's 41st episode, Myq celebrates his final day being 41 years old. By recording a podcast episode. Whee!

40: A Mountain to Something (On a Mellow Day)

October 4th, 2020


On today's pod-meal, Myq discusses delusional confidence, Rini's wisdom, berries, Cool Hand Luke, veganism, and horses.

He also recommends the work …

39: Humans, Aliens, and Other Animals

October 3rd, 2020


Welcome to October! In tonight's pod-snack, Myq discusses his impending birthday, words, Lords, vague recollections of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the …

38: The Uncanny Friendship Valley

September 30th, 2020


For tonight's pod-meal, Myq discusses his friendship with artist Joe Karg, imagines Andres of multiple numerical values, gives retroactive advice to …

37: Father of the Bat

September 26th, 2020


For today's pod-meal, Myq serves up tales of a zoom bat mitzvah, the earth's axis, and the color green.

He also recalls an old mustard commercial, …

36: Swimming Through the Joke Water

September 25th, 2020


Fauceteers! In tonight's pod-snack, Myq shares about something old (a joke), something new (another joke), something borrowed (the first joke again, …

35: Joy Description (This Week In The Nows)

September 19th, 2020


Today, in Podcast Broadcast Nows:
Myq's new album AKA has been submitted to the Grammys®.
Myq's mom receives a new email with his podcast recs.
Myq shares the latest in his Tibetan debate studies.
Myq recommends the …

34: RBG the Vampire Slayer

September 19th, 2020


On tonight's sleepy-time pod-snack, Myq celebrates the life of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, recommends the Social Dilemma, and wakes himself up just in time for bed. A nice LOLabye. Night, everyone!

33: My Grandfather Was a Spy

September 17th, 2020


On today's pod-meal, pull up a seat and enjoy hearing about Myq's friendship with his old pal and bandmate Sam! Additional friends discussed include …

32: Happy Birthday, Deborini!

September 14th, 2020


On today's pod-snack, Myq wishes Rini's mother Deborah the happiest birthday. Also YOU. Whenever it's your birthday. YOU get a birthday and YOU get a birthday. But mostly Deborah! Today! Birthday! Happy Birth-a-Rini!

31: The Spirit of the Letters (Featuring Horse Manure)

September 12th, 2020


In today's pod-meal, Myq dishes an edition of topics such as remembering, forgetting, exercising your heart/mind, and worrying/wondering about saying the same things he's said before.

Alternate titles:

A Dishin' of …

30: Hallucinations of All Lucid Nations

September 9th, 2020


On today's pod-ride, Myq covers reality and unreality (as usual, and as unusual), zooming into and out of topics like Sherlock Holmes, the Simpsons, …

29: Ample Sample Examples (Featuring Rapper Baba Brinkman)

September 7th, 2020


Today's very special Faucet episode features Myq having done some preparation! The episode is all about peer-reviewed science rapper/freestyler Baba Brinkman.

Covering such topics as... Science. Rap. Comedy. Chaucer. …

28: Mental Whittlings from the Gab Lab

September 4th, 2020


On this pod-snack, Myq talks extensively about how he loves naming things, like all the podcasts episodes he has or has had over the years.

As …

27: Clever Dolphin, Standup Grandma

September 4th, 2020


On today's episode, Myq shares how he learned of his previously unknown familial standup origin story.

He also recommends universal basic income, his friend (comedian/writer/more!) Erin Judge, and the ideal …

26: Ursula K Le Guin of Earthsea

August 31st, 2020


Tonight, Myq expresses love and gratitude to and for Ursula K Le Guin. Do you love her already? Listen and agree! Do you not love her yet? Listen and …

25: Time Travel Self-Tickle

August 28th, 2020


Hello? Hello!

Today, Myq answers the pod-call (or rather, MAKES the pod-call and YOU answer it, or either way, it's your call!) and discusses roller …

24: Zen Master Tortoise

August 26th, 2020


Rabbit rabbit! "Today," on "August 1," Myq discusses turtles, bunnies, cognitive science, Chris Rock, Mercury, animals dancing, recordings within recordings, immortality, silence, being meditative, and briefly, ducks.

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