Cover art for podcast The DNA of Mindful Relationships

The DNA of Mindful Relationships

17 EpisodesProduced by Dilek Yucel & Alex KainWebsite

Dilek (Di) is an experienced Psychologist and Couples Therapist and Alex is...not. They are a couple who are building a consciously mindful relationship and who love to discuss the ups and downs of relationships with episodes about effective communication, having a fair fight and how to reduce the d… read more

30:17

Ep. 12: Lost In Translation

Dr Gary Chapman wrote The Five Love Languages in 1995. Chapman suggests that to discover another person's love language, one must observe the way they express love to others, and analyze what they complain about most often and what they request from their significant other most often. He theorizes that people tend to naturally give love in the way that they prefer to receive love, and better communication between couples can be accomplished when one can demonstrate caring to the other person in the love language the recipient understands.
An example would be if a man does something he doesn't normally do such as when he does the laundry for his wife and she doesn't perceive that as an act of love, viewing it as simply performing household duties, because the love language she comprehends is words of affirmation (verbal affirmation that he loves her).
The 5 love languages are:
l. Words of affirmation – using words to build up the other person. “Thanks fortaking out the garbage.” Not – “It’s about time you took the garbage out. Theflies were going to carry it out for you.”2. Receiving Gifts – a gift says, “He was thinking about me. Look what he got for me.”3. Acts of Service – Doing something for your partner that you know they wouldlike. Cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, are all acts of service.4. Quality time – by which I mean, giving your partner your undivided attention.Taking a walk together or sitting on the couch with the TV off – talking andlistening.5. Physical touch-holding hands, hugging, kissing, sexual intercourse, are allexpressions of love.
Out of these five, each of you has a primary love language which speaks moredeeply to you than all the others. Discovering each other’s language and speakingit regularly is the best way to keep love alive in a relationship.

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