Cover art for podcast Terrible Book Club

Terrible Book Club

88 EpisodesProduced by Chris & ParisWebsite

Join Chris & Paris every other Tuesday to discover if you really can judge a book by its hideous cover, bad title, or weird synopsis. Support TBC on Patreon

88 Episodes | 2015 - 2020

Episode 94 - The Virus of Desire. The Life of Passion. A Coronavirus Covid-19 self-help erotic book by Niedomknięty Kredens *Patrons Choice*

September 29th, 2020


We read this book at the request of our Patron Jakub as part of their Patreon rewards. If you, too, would like to force us to read a book, head over …

Episode 93 - The Tuttle Twins and the Fate of the Future by Connor Boyack (a retelling of Anatomy of the State by Murray Rothbard)

September 15th, 2020


Come along with us, listeners, to the fabled land of The Dunks where all value is now held in gallons of iced coffee, and all inter-state sports travel requires the hiring of Mad Max militias.

Published in 2018 and …

Episode 92 - Flashback by Dan Simmons *Patron's Choice*

September 1st, 2020


We read Flashback this week at the request of our Patron J as part of their Patreon rewards. If you, too, would like to force us to read a book, head …

Episode 91 - The Little Stranger by Sarah Waters *Patron's Choice*

August 18th, 2020


We read The Little Stranger this week at the request of our Patron Veronica as part of her Patreon rewards. If you, too, would like to force us to …

Episode 90 - The Gateway of the Monster from Carnacki, the Ghost Finder by William Hope Hodgson *Special Guests D & Ken from Antiques Freaks*

August 4th, 2020


Get your bingo cards ready! We've invited the Antiques Freaks over to our place again to read yet another story from Carnacki the Ghost Finder. This time, we tackle The Gateway of the Monster. Chris treats us to some …

Episode 89 - Blood of the Fold by Terry Goodkind (Sword of Truth Series Book #3) *Special Guest TJ Allen*

July 21st, 2020


Paris and Chris return to the very horny Midlands with our woods guide, TJ! He helped us out when we read Stone of Tears, and he was so invaluable that we put a Rada-Han on him and forced him to guide us through Blood …

Episode 88 - Emeralds of Oz: Life Lessons from Over the Rainbow by Peter Guzzardi

July 7th, 2020


This week we discuss another book that Chris found out in the real world at a local book store: a self-help book that's based on the 1939 film The …

Episode 87 - Maradonia and the Law of Blood (Book 4 of the Maradonia Saga/Series) by Gloria Tesch *Patron's Choice*

June 23rd, 2020


Although not strictly necessary, we recommend listening to these 4 other episodes before starting this one in the following order:

Episode 86 - The Secret of Moon Lake by Sofia Nova (Gloria Tesch) *Patron’s Choice*

June 9th, 2020


Today's book was read at the behest of our patron Ciaran. Thanks so much for supporting the show, Ciaran! Check out our Patreon here to get this and other rewards for yourself.

Sofia Nova is the new identity of Gloria …

Episode 85 - The Woman You Marry by Mark A. Edwards *Patron's Choice*

May 26th, 2020


Our patron Signe bought this book thinking it was written by an author she actually liked - Mark Edwards. Unfortunately, The Woman You Marry was written by Mark A. Edwards.

We're pretty sure that Mark A. Edwards is not …

Episode 84 - Still Life with Monkey by Katharine Weber

May 12th, 2020


Chris's book scouting in the real world yielded today's book, which we didn't totally dislike! It may not be for us, but there's some good writing in here and great character portraits. That being said, it's another …

Episode 83 - The Horse of the Invisible from Carnacki, the Ghost Finder by William Hope Hodgson *Special Guests D & Ken from Antiques Freaks*

April 28th, 2020


Our favorite Antiques Freaks, D & Ken, are back! In ghost form!

We decide that space IS ghosts, have a ghost horse gobble-neighing contest, and try to figure out how the hell this short story from 1910 was ever …

Episode 82 - Bitchcraft: Simple Spells for Everyday Annoyances and Sweet Revenge by Kerry Colburn

April 14th, 2020


Get your candles and bad couplets ready - we're goin' Bitchcraftin'!

You can watch a video of us recording this on Twitch until 4/25/2020:

Episode 81 - Worst Ideas Ever: 42 Truly Terrible Decisions by Daniel B. Kline and Jason Tomaszewski *Patron's Choice*

March 31st, 2020


We recorded this episode as a live stream on Twitch, so if you want to see AND hear us, you can check it out here:

Our Patron Lynn chose this book as their once-per-year reward! …

Episode 80 - Bear by Marian Engel

March 17th, 2020


Listener Martin Ford recommended this to us and we had to read it because it seemed so absurd. How could a book like this win a literary award? A …

Episode 79 - Museum of the Living Dead (A Plot-It-Yourself Horror Story) by Hilary Milton

March 3rd, 2020


This week it's 1985 and we're two children in an off-brand "Plot - It - Yourself" horror story. Chris wants to die as quickly as possible while Paris chooses life. Paris's microphone is backwards, Chris can't stop …

Episode 78 - Killer Chef: A James Patterson Bookshot by Jeffrey J. Keyes and James Patterson

February 18th, 2020


Chris asked a bookstore employee to take him to the worst book they had seen lately, so we ended up getting BLASTED by this BOOKSHOT from James Patterson. 

Audio quality warning: Chris accidentally positioned Paris's …

Episode 77 - Control Everyone with Hypnosis by Dr. Jürgen Bauer & Jason Farley

February 4th, 2020


We learn to control everyone with this ONE WEIRD TRICK! Chris tries to hypnotize Paris into loving bad books. This material was so short and devoid …

Episode 76 - Forests of the Night by S. Andrew Swann

January 21st, 2020


We begin this episode by arguing about tigers and lions and eventually make our way to discussing the mechanics of human and tiger-man mating.

This …

Episode 75 - Maze by Christopher Manson

January 7th, 2020


Paris and Chris have had a long evening of crafting for the previous episode. They then try to work their way through Maze while in an exhausted, sleep-deprived state beginning after midnight.

Chances aren't good for …

Episode 74 - The Big Book of Fabulous Fun Filled Celebrations and Holiday Crafts by Jim Fobel and Jim Boleach with Virginie Fowler

December 24th, 2019


T'was the week before Christmas and all through the house, could be heard Paris and Chris shrieking, and not from a mouse.

The shrimp were speared on …

Episode 73: A Christmas Rescue (A Silver Bell Falls Holiday Novella - Book #4) by Samantha Chase *Amazon Book Club Crossover*

December 10th, 2019


There was so much Christmas cheer in this series that we had to call in our friends over at the Amazon Book Club to help us read it! Check out their episode that covers the first book, Christmas in Silver Bell Falls.

A …

Episode 72 - The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides

November 26th, 2019


This psychological thriller didn't so much thrill us as annoy and infuriate us. Diary entries read like screenplays, the writing is bland overall, …

Episode 71 - Moon People 2: Mars Reborn by Dale M. Courtney

November 12th, 2019


In this edition of Microwave Cooking for One in Space, we ascend with our arsenal of 200 microwaves. We're gonna' cook Mars just right.

We read the original Moon People four years ago in Episode 14. Thank you to …

Episode 70 - Crimson Peak: The Official Movie Novelization by Nancy Holder, Guillermo del Toro, & Matthew Robbins *Special Guests D & Ken from Antiques Freaks and Patron's Choice*

October 29th, 2019


When D & Ken listened to 30 seconds of our podcast and told us we were good, we immediately invited them onto our show as guests and then got …

Episode 69 - The Haunted Vagina by Carl Mellick III

October 15th, 2019


Neither of us over at TBC are into "bizarro" fiction, but today we discover that this corner of literature exists and it sure lives up to its moniker. 

The weirdest and creepiest thing about this episode is that...well, …

Episode 68 - The Skeleton Haunts a House by Leigh Perry (Book 3 in the Family Skeleton Mystery Series)

October 1st, 2019


It's October, so this episode is the first in our series of spooky books in honor of the season.

After a long day of stocking up on fun size candy …

Episode 67 - Selfie Showdown: A Model Kombat Throwdown by Kelcey Coe

September 17th, 2019


Another week, another screenplay disguised as a book. This one is a real Russian nesting doll of poor choices.

Thanks to Bob from Books, Beards, …

Episode 66 - Contra Alliance: Shadows of the Past (Book One) by Tom Kolega *Patron’s Choice*

September 3rd, 2019


Our Patron Jensina chose this book as their once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon here to get this and other rewards for yourself.

In addition to our usual barnyard language, Content Warnings this week include: …

Episode 65 - Final Fantasy VII: On the Way to a Smile by Kazushige Nojima *Special Guest Adam R*

August 20th, 2019


Someone cast Meteor on Chris's computer and this episode and the associated bonus Patreon content was almost lost.

Luckily, his back-up Lifestream kicked in and saved the files, but not without sacrificing the computer …

Episode 64 - Pinklejinx by Tish Dahlby

August 6th, 2019



This book came to our attention through an anonymous recommendation. Thank you, anonymous person, and we hope you enjoy this episode.

Episode 63 - Maradonia and the Gold of Ophir (Book 3 of the Maradonia Saga/Series) by Gloria Tesch *Patron's Choice*

July 23rd, 2019


Although not strictly necessary, we recommend listening to this episode along with the other Maradonia episodes in the following order:

Episode 62 - Maradonia and the Escape from the Underworld (Book 2 of the Maradonia Saga/Series) by Gloria Tesch

July 9th, 2019


Although not strictly necessary, we recommend listening to this episode along with the other Maradonia episodes in the following order:

Episode 61 - All The Times We Were Wrong: Part 2

July 2nd, 2019


We're roasting ourselves again! We decided that it was time to review past missteps and things we were wrong about on air. We try to keep this show conversational and familiar, but the consequence of that at times is …

Episode 60 - All The Times We Were Wrong: Part 1

June 25th, 2019


This time, we’re roasting ourselves! We decided that it was time to review past missteps and things we were wrong about on air. We try to keep this show conversational and familiar, but the consequence of that at times …

Episode 59 - I'm Living But I'm Not Alive: Book One in the Black Caviar Thriller eBook Series by Psymon H.

June 11th, 2019


The editor for this series posted about how bad the writing was in a Facebook group called Men Failing at Erotica. We happened to see the post and another TBC episode was born. Thanks to Preston for bringing this one to …

Episode 58 - All in a Row by Alex Oates *Special Guest Adam K*

May 28th, 2019


After seeing #puppetgate trending on Twitter, Chris and Paris dive into the script of the play All in a Row with our friend Adam.

Adam is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst with a MA in Applied Behavior Analysis and a …

Episode 57 - The Mueller Report: Report on the Investigation into Russian Interference in the 2016 Presidential Election by Robert S. Mueller, III

May 14th, 2019


This time, we figured we’d try to help you understand and - more importantly - laugh with us at The Mueller Report. It's a 448 page U.S. government report with over 1,000 footnotes that few people were really going to …

Episode 56 - In the House in the Dark of the Woods by Laird Hunt *Patron's Choice*

April 30th, 2019


Our Patron Signe chose this book as her once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon here to get this and other rewards for yourself.

In addition to our usual barnyard language, Content Warnings this week include: …

Episode 55 - The Adventures of Lord Iffy Boatrace by Bruce Dickinson of Iron Maiden *Patron's Choice*

April 16th, 2019


Our Patron Greg chose this book as his once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon here to get this and other rewards for yourself.

In addition to our usual barnyard language, Content Warnings abound this week: …

Episode 54 - 101 Weapons for Women: Implement Weaponry - A Unique Concept in Women's Self Defense by Rodney R. Rice *Special Guest Paul Lowe*

April 2nd, 2019


This week we learn how to (not) defend ourselves with objects through a book infamous for its imagery! Thanks to our friend Chris H. for posting some images from this book on Facebook, which inspired Paris to do a …

Episode 53A - Operation Switcheroo! The Short Stories of Augie Peterson - Friend Request Movie Review

April 1st, 2019


April Fool's!

Tomorrow you'll get your regularly scheduled TBC episode, but for today we're switching episodes with The Short Stories of Augie …

Episode 53 - Mazeppa the Wolfhound: Part One: The Story of Mother Luhki and Nana by Raymond N. Dombkiewicz

March 19th, 2019


Somehow we're reading another Christian-leaning, dog related book with strange authorship. We really don't know how this happened again. Thanks to longtime friend of the show Elisa for recommending this one!

Content …

Episode 52 - Super Mario Bros. 3: Brick by Brick by Bob Chipman *Patron's Choice*

March 5th, 2019


Our Patron Lynn chose this book as their once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon here to get this and other rewards for yourself.

No substantial Content Warnings this week - brief mentions of death and terrorist …

Episode 51 - The Crucible by Arthur Miller *Special Guests D & Ken from Antiques Freaks*

February 19th, 2019


This week, we're simultaneously in both the years 1953 and 1692. Luckily our friends D & Ken from the Antiques Freaks podcast have arrived to …

Episode 50 - The Eclipse of Darkness: Unveiling the Unseen World by Robert Arden Szanyi

February 5th, 2019


We received an anonymous recommendation to read this book. It is easily one of the most concentrated forms of delirium ever put to text.

  • The Sunny …

Episode 49 - The Beginner’s Guide to Sex in the Afterlife: An Explanation of the Extraordinary Potential of Sexual Energy by David Staume

January 22nd, 2019


This time, we’re dead and trying to figure out just what to do with these incorporeal forms of ours. Luckily, a copy of David Straume’s Beginner’s Guide to Sex in the Afterlife was waiting here for us when we arrived in …

Episode 48 - Into the Wild (Warriors #1/Warrior Cats #1) by Erin Hunter

January 8th, 2019


Ah, cats - who doesn't love a good cat video or cat meme? The world is full of cat-themed things, so it's only natural that a cat fantasy series …

Episode 47 - Growing Around: Party Panic by John 'Enter' Rozanski

December 25th, 2018


A guy who reviews cartoons and is really invested in creating a cartoon series himself wrote a children's chapter book in the universe that he's been creating for a few years. There's nothing wrong with this concept on …

Episode 46 - Zarsthor's Bane by Andre Norton

December 11th, 2018


No real content warnings this week except for one off-hand misogynistic statement by a single character! There IS a weird scene that could be …

Episode 45 - A Specter is Haunting Texas by Fritz Leiber

November 27th, 2018


Fritz Leiber may have coined the term "sword and sorcery" and he may have written some legendary stories, but this book is not to be counted among those same accomplishments.

Content Warning! Drugs, generalized …

Episode 44 - Small Town Cop/Big City Crimes {A Man, His Dogs and a Badge} by Darrell Day

November 13th, 2018


Don't be fooled! Darrel Day didn't write this - or even edit it, apparently - he just put it on the internet for his friend, Terry Bandemer. Which is …

Episode 43 - Crabs: The Human Sacrifice: Book 6 in the Crab Series by Guy N. Smith

October 29th, 2018


Happy Halloween! Enjoy this episode one day early as a treat from the Terrible Book Club.

Crabs - The Human Sacrifice was suggested by reddit user dickdastardly and voted on by listeners as a spooky book for October.

Episode 41 - Luckiest Girl Alive by Jessica Knoll *Patron's Choice*

October 2nd, 2018


Our Patron Veronica chose this book as her once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon here to get this and other rewards for yourself.

We've got a real intro now! Let us know what you think.

Things get serious on TBC …

Episode 40 - The Angel Wore Fangs (Deadly Angels Series #7) by Sandra Hill

September 18th, 2018


This book feels like the author created a massive dartboard where each section was a completely random idea or topic, put on a blindfold, threw …

Episode 39 - Antibodies: An X-Files Novel by Kevin J. Anderson

September 4th, 2018


This time, we read an X-Files novel sanctioned by Chris Carter and it was just as pulpy as we expected. If you miss Mulder, Scully, and their crazy …

Episode 38 - Johnny Tremain by Esther Forbes *Special Guests D & Ken from Antiques Freaks*

August 21st, 2018


Since this book takes place 200 years in the past, we figured we needed some experts on old stuff! D & Ken from Antiques Freaks join us this week …

Episode 37 - Lawfully Challenged: Inspirational Christian Contemporary: A K-9 Lawkeeper Romance by Ginny Sterling

August 7th, 2018


Cops that are dogs and dogs that are cops co-star in this sex-less Christian romance with an unreasonably long title! This story tries to cash in on the cross section of people who are Christian, fetishize men in …

Episode 36 - Too Far by Rich Shapero

July 24th, 2018


Ah, yes - remember being in love so fiercely that you disobeyed your parents, ran naked through the forest all evening, worshiped nature gods, and …

Episode 35 - Woman Worship by Dean Jean-Pierre

July 10th, 2018


If you're tired of plots and characters, this episode was made just for you! This time we read a book of poetry loosely held together by western gender norms, redundancy, and poor word choices. Paris reveals her theory …

Episode 34 - The Stain of Time V2: More Than A Trent Reznor Biography by Remanon Last

July 1st, 2018


Have you ever really liked a band? Have you ever liked a band so much that you thought you found evidence in their lyrics that their frontman had lived previous lives and a demon helped you figure it out? Well hey, so …

Episode 33 - The Betrayal (Fear Street Saga #1) by R.L. Stine

June 21st, 2018


Burning witches, evil dads and uncles, more foreshadowing than one could ever need, the most obviously evil necklace of all time, and - of course - …

Episode 32 - Crawfish, Baby!! by Duncan More

June 13th, 2018


Can we interest you in some crawfish? Perhaps other types of seafood? Some jazz? How about some gay erotica? If you answered "yes" to any or all of these questions, you'll love this 30 page short story that masquerades …

Episode 31 - Lands of the Earthquake by Henry Kuttner & Under A Dim Blue Sun by Howie K. Bentley

June 4th, 2018


This time we read a short, double feature book with two fantasy/sci-fi novellas that were packaged together for seemingly no apparent reason:

  • Lands …

Episode 30 - Two Truths, A Lie, & Magic Rocks (...Also With Lies)

May 29th, 2018


In this in-between books episode, it's game time!

Chris read a guide/miniature self-help book called Chakra Crystals by Kate Tomas about meditation and magical rocks and Paris tries to guess what each crystal is …

Episode 29 - Swamplandia! by Karen Russell *Special Guest Laura Filippi*

May 21st, 2018


This time on Terrible Book Club, we read a book that wasn't truly terrible! Wow! It happened!  

We also have special guest Laura Filippi on to …

Episode 28 - Crossing Over: The Stories Behind the Stories by John Edward

April 21st, 2018


Episode 28 is all about ghosts, mediums, and how Long Island seems to be some kind of breeding ground for psychics. If you're a skeptic of supernatural phenomenon or have ever wondered about the John Edwards and Sylvia …

Episode 27 - Dragon Prince by Melanie Rawn *Patron's Choice*

April 1st, 2018


Our Patron Dari chose this book as her once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon here to browse our reward structure and consider donating.

Dragon Prince is a basic fantasy novel with medieval internet on light beams, …

Episode 26 - You Suck! by Christopher Moore

March 5th, 2018


You Suck! was given to Paris as a Secret Santa gift (thanks, Coty!) The book has some issues, but ultimately it's a crass and somewhat amusing parody …

Episode 25 - Audubon's Watch by John Gregory Brown

February 13th, 2018


Birds. Watches. Tits. These are things that old men from the 1800s love to talk about. Or, at least famous ornithologist John James Audubon liked to …

Episode 24 - Melanie's Marvelous Measles by Stephanie Messenger

December 18th, 2017


Episode 24 tackles the anti-vaccination phenomenon. Melanie's Marvelous Measles was written by an anti-vaxxer author so parents could easily …

Episode 23 - Ho Tactics: How to Mindf*ck a Man into Spending, Spoiling, & Sponsoring by G.L. Lambert

December 2nd, 2017


For November, we read a self-help book to help us become smart hos!

G.L. Lambert has created the ultimate guide to being a sociopathic fraud winner! …

Episode 22 - Stone of Tears by Terry Goodkind (Sword of Truth Series Book #2) *Special Guest TJ Allen*

October 27th, 2017


Our first sequel. Sexy nuns. Demon dicks. Naked horseback riding. All this and more can be found in Terry Goodkind's Stone of Tears, the second book in the Sword of Truth series.

In Episode 22 of the Terrible Book Club, …

Episode 21 - Monster Hunter International by Larry Correia

September 19th, 2017


Episode 21 is brought to you by vampires, pistols, werewolves, sub-machine guns, boobs, automatic rifles, orcs, elves in trailer parks, RPGs, hulking …

Episode 20 - Murder Gone A-Rye by Nancy J. Parra

August 4th, 2017


Chris & Paris learn that a gluten-free themed murder mystery book exists. Naturally, they couldn't resist reading such a bizarrely …

Episode 19 - Dark Star: Confessions of a Rock Idol by Creston Mapes

July 11th, 2017


This book has evangelical Christianity, drugged out rock stars, squeaky villains, and FREEDOM. Have you ever wanted to be converted to a religion by a crazy child fan who has written to you obsessively for nearly 20 …

Episode 18 - Aeon Legion: Labyrinth by J.P. Beaubien

May 9th, 2017


When a book opens with a Nazi coming through a time portal in a library in the year 2000, it's easy to assume that the book will be pretty bad. Somehow, though, Aeon Legion: Labyrinth jumps through time to convince us …

Episode 17 - Holy Cow by David Duchovny

April 4th, 2017


David Duchovny is a female, teenage cow with a surprisingly good grasp on technology. In Holy Cow, he leads us on a journey through factory farming, …

Episode 16 - Sleeping with the Fishes by Mary Janice Davidson

February 28th, 2017


Dive with us into the cesspool of Boston Harbor where mermaids make out! Explore an aquarium imagined by someone who was there one time! 

Episode 15 - The Art of the Deal by Donald Trump & Tony Schwartz

January 28th, 2017


Chris wakes from his coma into a world of unprecedented horror. 

Episode 14 - Moon People by Dale M. Courtney

October 18th, 2015


Our 14th episode!

Our current book is almost 800 pages, so it's taking us a bit longer than usual to read this one. For now, enjoy the last episode we put out before our hiatus.

We've risen from the dead just in time …

Episode 11 - Maradonia and the Seven Bridges by Gloria Tesch

July 18th, 2015


Although not strictly necessary, we recommend listening to this episode along with the other Maradonia episodes in the following order:

Episode 2 - Marked (House of Night Book #1) by Kristin Cast & P.C. Cast

March 20th, 2015



In Episode Two, we begrudgingly drag ourselves through a sea of teen angst, slut shaming, poorly designed facial tattoos, and racial stereotyping in Kristin & P.C. Cast's Marked. Come, join us in our misery. 

Episode 1 - The Overton Window by Glenn Beck with Kevin Balfe, Emily Bestler, and Jack Henderson

March 13th, 2015


This one is for all of you who love conspiracies, chicken-and-waffles, and hot office temps.

This was the first episode of Terrible Book Club that originally came into the world on Mar 13, 2015. We even did an ad for …

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