TBTL- Too Beautiful to Live

100 EpisodesProduced by Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

TBTL (Too Beautiful to Live) is a daily weekday podcast from Luke Burbank and co-host/producer Andrew Walsh. It is about life, current events, popular culture, puttering, serial boat ownership, and night pants. Hotline: (206) 414-8285.

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#2883 Tempted By The Fruit Of A Letter

April 19th, 2019

1:36:06

Andrew might have started a fight between two strangers last night, while Luke finds himself in the middle of his own donnybrook online. Plus we have some Music For Your Weekend! . . . Today's show is sponsored by

#2882 Dear God, Helf Us

April 18th, 2019

1:35:10

Luke sat next to a self-styled Donald Trump impersonator on his trip from Cleveland to Portland, putting his Skyjinx survival instincts to the test. Plus, Luke and Andrew discover a new terrifying creature to be afraid …

#2881 Nostalgia Is A Powerful Drug

April 17th, 2019

1:04:04

Andrew and Luke discuss their favorite food-related Bible stories. Andrew also helps Luke prep for his trip to Cleveland, and Luke talks about the …

A Song Of Ice And Spoilers: Don't Be A Bran

April 16th, 2019

1:00:18

A Song Of Ice And Spoilers returns for the final season of Game of Thrones! Luke and Andrew discuss the season premiere and ask the important questions every hardcore fan wants to know, like what is a White Walker and …

#2880 Don't Jeff Lynne Me!

April 16th, 2019

1:30:52

It's the day after Tax Day, and Luke is trying to declare Andrew as one of his dependents. They also discuss the life and death of one of the last …

#2879 Dingus In Real Life

April 15th, 2019

1:46:44

Luke's outdoor misadventures continued this weekend, almost leading to a Drama In Real Life situation. Plus, TV networks have admitted to piping bird …

#2878 Aggressively Finite

April 12th, 2019

1:36:12

Luke and Andrew go through the pile of letters they've received from listeners regarding their questionable trip through the Australian Outback. . . . Today's show is sponsored by Snowe. Visit SnoweHome.com/tbtl to get …

#2877 Schitt's Heads

April 11th, 2019

1:24:50

The first-ever photos of a black hole 54 million light years away put Luke and Andrew in a philosophical mood. And the details about how the photo …

#2876 Scissors Rock Paper?

April 10th, 2019

1:17:32

Luke learns that he may have to legally change his name. But like, for REAL. Plus, Andrew sets the record straight on some things that have been …

#2875 Schrodinger's Doots

April 9th, 2019

2:12:26

A CNBC video encouraging people to tip their servers less "without looking cheap" is making people very, very angry. Luke and Andrew discuss this and …

#2874 Slightly Fapooned

April 8th, 2019

1:50:05

Luke has a very chance encounter on one of his hikes, and thus answers the age old question: What happens when Luke meets a stranger in the Alps? …

#2873 Smaller Than A Yaris, Bigger Than A Breadbox

April 5th, 2019

1:54:14

Australian listeners let Luke and Andrew know that their upcoming trip through the Outback is misguided and dangerous. But will they heed the warnings? Plus, a writer researches why Americans fell out of love with …

#2872 One Bro, Turning It Up!

April 4th, 2019

1:09:02

Luke and Andrew re-examine their use of slang, and they announce their BIG PLANS for the upcoming TBTL-a-Thon! . . . Today's show is sponsored by Quip. Visit GetQuip.com/tbtl to get your first refill pack free with a …

#2871 Now You've Got A Mom In The Jewelry Business

April 3rd, 2019

2:03:14

Luke and Andrew try to figure out if they're nerds, dweebs, or geeks (or something worse.) Plus, a decades-long mystery involving Garfield phones …

#2870 Mother Of Lawyers

April 2nd, 2019

1:13:53

After a night of TV watching, Luke finds himself disappointed in a couple of beloved TV shows. He and Andrew also discuss Burger King's plan to start selling meatless Impossible Burgers, and a Post's plan to start …

#2869 Cuneiform in Uniform

April 1st, 2019

2:03:02

Luke subjects Andrew to a April Fool's Day quiz, and they spend a lot of time trying to answer a listener's truly brain-breaking question about their …

#2868 Reverse Stridex

March 29th, 2019

1:27:57

A man in Woodenbong, Australia, wants to build a giant wooden bong to attract tourists and raise "trillions" of dollars for the community. Luke and …

#2867 We Have The Seitan!

March 28th, 2019

1:32:57

A music review of a 25-year old record is creating outrage on (wait for it)....The Internet! Andrew and Luke look back at some of their own bad …

#2866 Ain't No Fun When The Rabbit's Got The Gurgle

March 27th, 2019

1:02:15

Andrew tries to resurrect one of his favorite Morning Zoo radio bits from his childhood with less than stellar results. Plus, he and Luke ACTUALLY …

#2865 Let's Keep It Sausagey, San Diego!

March 26th, 2019

1:52:16

Andrew picked up a piece of litter in his neighborhood that ended up being a lot more than he'd bargained for. Plus, a tweet from Sarah Silverman completely rocks Luke's world, and Andrew is trying to figure out if he's …

#2864 The Fanny Pack Of Tourism

March 25th, 2019

1:25:09

Luke and Addie embark on a Segway adventure to remember! And Andrew has discovered his new favorite movie theater. It happens to be the same one where Luke spent his youth.n . . . Today's show is sponsored by Grove …

#2863 Spring Equi-Nots

March 22nd, 2019

1:06:19

Luke accidentally bought the most expensive glass of milk in New York City. He and Andrew also discuss a new Volvo that will take control of itself …

#2862 They Fugetaboutited It!

March 21st, 2019

1:27:22

Luke's stay in the Barton Fink Hotel is getting weirder. Also, he just got his photo taken for a CBS ID card, and it is...not good.n . . . Today's show is sponsored by Capterra. Visit Capterra.com/TBTL for free to find …

#2861 Cleats And A Clipboard

March 20th, 2019

1:17:13

Luke and Andrew wake up in the middle of the damn night to watch the Mariners open their baseball season in Japan. Plus, the StuBot checks in from …

#2860 Canoodle Me You Must

March 19th, 2019

1:38:40

Luke is back with stories of his LA adventures involving Kathy Griffin, her dogs, and a healthy dose of adult acne. . . . Today's show is sponsored …

#2859 You Kiss Your Mother With That Podcast?

March 18th, 2019

1:29:45

Famously Clean Person Hanna Brooks Olsen swings by TBTL to test her knowledge of cleaned-up movie lines and song lyrics...and also to talk about her upcoming Soup Date. . . . Today's show is sponsored by Capterra. …

#2858 God Loves A Condor

March 15th, 2019

1:38:05

Luke's latest off-book athletic adventure leads to a run-in with a well-armed soldier. Meanwhile, Andrew's not sure he could ever truly love a …

#2857 Blursting At The Seams!

March 14th, 2019

1:22:10

Luke is in San Diego, so Andrew assumes that he's hanging out with the San Diego Chicken. Which might actually be a turkey? Also, Twitter considers …

#2856 The Fighting TBDs!

March 13th, 2019

1:54:14

Andrew tries to help Luke with some troublesome pimples with the help of a YouTube makeup tutorial. Meanwhile, the college admissions scandal that is …

#2855 Repo The Rocking Horse

March 12th, 2019

2:10:52

Today on TBTL, we learn that there are many more flavors of Bartles and Jaymes than you ever possibly imagined and that piano players shouldn't try …

#2854 You Don't Have To Be Right To Be Proud

March 11th, 2019

1:42:11

The Mystery of Luke's Missing Basketball comes to a conclusion, but not after some more twists and turns. Plus, Luke talks about his illicit hiking adventures over the weekend, and he and Andrew discuss the Simpson's …

#2853 Flavor Blasted Within An Inch Of Our Lives

March 8th, 2019

1:32:57

Things got weird on the final day of Luke's Vegas pizza expo. Like, "old man trying to steal camera equipment" weird. Plus, Luke felt forced to eat …

#2852 Game Apologize To Game

March 7th, 2019

1:24:08

Andrew is giddy after having a wonderfully aimless day in Seattle that involved hot dogs, dice, and a chance encounter. Meanwhile in Las Vegas, Luke …

#2851 Quit Rememberin' That!

March 6th, 2019

1:14:50

Luke is living the future in Las Vegas, where a self-driving car delivered him to a pizza convention.  Meanwhile, Andrew is buying cassette tapes in Lynnwood, Washington.
. . .
Today's show is sponsored by Quip. Visit

#2850 I Made A Spoon For You!

March 5th, 2019

1:11:44

Luke joins the show from Las Vegas, where he's covering a pizza convention that has a lot of TBTL connections. Plus, He and Andrew pay their respects …

#2849 The Self-Shaming Never-Nude

March 4th, 2019

1:23:11

TBTL Friendo (and Editor?) Phyllis "P-Fletch" Fletcher joins the show to talk about her new job and to hear how Luke barely survived a mountain hike this weekend, only to end-up in a clothing-optional hot tub. (You got …

#2848 Andy’s Magical Shoebox Of Dreams

March 1st, 2019

1:49:20

Luke and Andrew are downright outraged -- well, certainly miffed, at least -- over an airline suing a passenger for skipping a flight. Plus, Luke …

#2847 Myth Trusters

February 28th, 2019

3:04:21

Reader's Digest brings the goods again! Andrew quizzes Luke on the magazine's list of "health myths". Plus, Luke has a very stressful …

#2846 Slower Burn

February 27th, 2019

1:56:24

Luke and Andrew hear from three listeners with three different mysteries they're trying to solve; One is smell-related, one is garbage-related, and …

#2845 Slingin' Caps With Luke and Andy!

February 26th, 2019

1:41:26

Luke and Andrew reach out to Weird Al Yankovic's publicist to try to clear-up a 6-year old misunderstanding. They also play all the drug-related …

#2844 Ziggle Zaggit, Let's Get Back At It!

February 25th, 2019

1:35:13

Andrew returns from his Hawaiian vacation, where he met a new nemesis, and Luke reports on his experience backstage at the Oscars with Wolfgang Puck. …

#2843 Wonderful Thanks For Chatting w/ Nora McInerny!

February 22nd, 2019

1:19:22

Luke and Nora McInerny climb into a rental car in Portland and tour various Burbank Family Businesses. Special thanks this episode to Kelly Shannon of Edmonds WA and Allison deMello of Millbury MA! . . . Today's …

#2842 Steve Scher, Dog Ombudsman

February 21st, 2019

1:17:00

Luke checks in from backstage at The Oscars and chats with TBTL Friend Steve Scher about what our love for dogs says about us as people. Special thanks this episode Michelle Rickman of Los Angeles, CA and Jessica …

#2841 Mine Your Business Canadians, featuring Kiki Lolo!

February 20th, 2019

1:09:14

Luke decides to ignore some "trail closed" signs in Joshua Tree and TBTL Colleague Kristina Lopez stops by to discuss the latest TV shows she's …

#2840 How to Spill Milk with Jen "Flash" Andrews

February 19th, 2019

1:36:05

Luke survives an epic hike in Joshua Tree and TBTL Co-Founder Jen Andrews stops by to talk about things she learned from her mom. Special Thanks this episode to Keith Brewster of Chardon OH and Katherine Damman of …

#2839 Motorcycles and Ninja Stars with Chioke I'Anson

February 18th, 2019

1:18:34

Luke checks in from Joshua Tree California, home of the Outdoorsy Hipster and chats with Chioke I'Anson, voice of NPR underwriting and Horror Enthusiast. Special thanks this episode to Lou Haney of Charlottesville VA …

#2838 Banh Meh

February 15th, 2019

1:31:32

Dan Pashman of the Sporkful Podcast joins Luke and Andrew to talk about a Chuck E. Cheese conspiracy, bad food fonts, and his upcoming show in …

#2837 Love Is On The Air: A TBTL Valentine's Special

February 14th, 2019

55:04

Luke and Andrew hear from Tens of listeners who share their stories of young love, old love and misguided love in this Valentine's Day radio special! …

#2836 Pants On The Sound

February 13th, 2019

1:24:03

A celebration of Kimmy Schmidt turns into a conversation about free speech and "PC culture." Didn't see that one coming! Plus, listeners weigh in on …

#2835 Look Who's Twinsing Two!

February 12th, 2019

1:37:09

Andrew is upset about some area toughs throwing SNOWBALLS of all things. Meanwhile, Luke has been doing what you're supposed to do when you're buried under a mountain of snow: Watching TONS of TV. He weighs-in on Pete …

#2834 The Marie Condor Method

February 11th, 2019

1:31:02

Luke and Andrew swap snow stories as the Pacific Northwest continues to get buried. Plus, Luke is ready to start his new life in retail arbitrage after reading an article about it, and Andrew has a real moment with a …

#2833 A Favela of Esoterica

February 8th, 2019

1:18:38

Luke swings by the offices of Walsh, Walsh & Doormat to swap stories with Andrew of a city on the brink of collapse as an impending snowstorm …

#2832 Breath, Body and Pirate Treasure

February 7th, 2019

1:01:14

Luke is watching the weather as an impending snowstorm may ruin his plans for the next few days. Meanwhile, Andrew tries to resurrect a classic TBTL segment, and he accidentally teaches Luke how to grift the government. …

#2831 One Crime, Please! **Ding!**

February 6th, 2019

1:55:44

Luke and Andrew go down their bi-annual Yakov Smirnoff rabbit hole and explore some of his work helping people with their relationships. Plus, ESPN …

#2830 Extremely Online!

February 5th, 2019

1:49:23

Luke's relationship with his basketball nemesis continues to evolve...but not in a great way? He and Andrew also discuss the world's most famous egg …

#2829 Snow Big Deal

February 4th, 2019

1:10:35

A surprising snowfall in the Northwest has left Andrew giddy and Luke without heat. They also discuss yesterday's "The Big Game" and finally offer their definitive review of the 1993 film Groundhog Day (they like it.) . …

#2828 When Life Gives You Lemmings

February 1st, 2019

1:50:11

Luke's descent into old age continues with a shockingly early bedtime and a new foot massager. Meanwhile, Andrew finally gets a glimpse of Luke's …

#2827 Undigested Co-Conspirator

January 31st, 2019

1:36:51

Luke and Andrew dive into the latest issue of Reader's Digest and share some truly Dazzling Deets about everything from frog's eyes to Hitler's …

#2826 Dance Of The Jabber-Mouth

January 30th, 2019

1:16:46

Luke and Andrew check-in on The StuBot and his family in St. Cloud, MN, where it's currently 35 degrees below zero. They also realize they are doing poorly when it comes to their Employee Review process. And Luke is …

#2825 Pipe Dreams

January 29th, 2019

1:33:52

Luke mixes things up with one of his new basketball buddies, and Andrew performs the grossest and most satisfying home repair imaginable. . . . …

#2824 More Than A Movie, More Than A Movie To Me...

January 28th, 2019

1:36:20

Luke is blown away by a movie that he never thought he'd be interested in, and Andrew holds his nose and plunges into one of the Fyre Fest …

#2823 Dynamite The T1 Line!

January 25th, 2019

1:29:55

Luke makes Andrew very anxious by airing a voicemail from their colleague without reviewing it first. Meanwhile, Andrew develops a …

#2822 Don't Fear The Leather

January 24th, 2019

1:33:28

Luke unwittingly becomes the most popular guy at the rental car counter in Bellingham. Meanwhile, in Seattle, Andrew risks another uncomfortable …

#2821 Only Fools Flush In

January 23rd, 2019

1:06:16

Luke and Andrew discuss the kid-friendly merits of The A-Team vs MacGyver. Plus, doctors say you can train your body to need the bathroom at a …

#2820 Brohemian Rhapsody

January 22nd, 2019

1:48:21

Luke discovers secret art in a billionaire's backyard and also has a revelation about Sinead O'Connor. Meanwhile, Andrew launches a defense of beat-up cars and cracked smartphone screens. . . . Today's show is …

#2819 Five Easy Craisins

January 21st, 2019

52:13

Luke has a new way of meditating that involves fruit, and Andrew has a new way of looking at trees, thanks to APM's new poetry podcast. They also …

#2818 From Dusk Till Yawn

January 18th, 2019

1:14:40

Luke's adventures in Atlanta continue as he spends the night in a Waffle House full of tuxedoed Republicans. He and Andrew also discuss the story of …

#2817 It's Jelly O'Clock Somewhere!

January 17th, 2019

1:27:01

Luke checks-in from Atlanta, where he is now officially a Waffle House team member! He tells Andrew about his experience working as a short-order cook, and they finally discuss the lawsuit against Netflix over …

#2816 More Like "Borndorsnortch"

January 16th, 2019

1:11:15

Luke swings by the studios of Walsh, Walsh & Doormat to help Andrew with some Twitter-related issues. Plus, Andrew shares a (pre-approved) dream that may end up changing his career trajectory. They never get to Top …

#2815 Organizing Principals

January 15th, 2019

1:16:44

Luke's feelings on Marie Kondo's approach to organizing is evolving...leading him to de-clutter a crawl space in the middle of the night. Meanwhile, …

#2814 A Huge Prog Rock Hole

January 14th, 2019

1:33:19

Luke and Andrew discuss the end of a local radio show that is very close to their hearts. Luke also weighs in on the new Marie Kondo Netflix show, and Andrew listens to Squeeze for the very first time (and he likes it!)

#2813 Schlubby Beardos

January 11th, 2019

1:25:28

Luke played his first game as a member of the vaunted Bellingham Sledghogs basketball team. He and Andrew also say goodbye to a very special snail named George, and they discuss a very interesting plan to get people to …

#2812 If You Can't Handle The Street, Get Out Of The Canyonero

January 10th, 2019

1:28:37

A guy is suing Burger King after getting locked in the restaurant's dirty bathroom, and that's not even the weird part of the story. Luke and Andrew also discuss anger management and the time Andrew was forced to do the …

#2811 Bird Box Brain

January 9th, 2019

1:29:55

Luke and Andrew dig into Luke's newest TV obsession, Patriot on Amazon Prime, and they talk Bird Box, A Quiet Place, and why Andrew freaked out when he got out of bed today.

. . .
Today's show is sponsored by Quip. …

#2810 Shroom For Improvement

January 8th, 2019

3:10:29

Luke and Andrew talk about everything -- literally everything -- for, like, three hours. It's a show for the ages! . . . Today's show is sponsored by Robinhood. Visit tbtl10.robinhood.com to get free stock like Apple, …

#2809 Sledgehog Millionaire

January 7th, 2019

1:14:14

Luke finds a way to literally ring in the New Year with a new desktop toy. Plus, he managed to avoid several potential altercations over the holiday. …

#2808 More Kicks Than A Chorus Line

January 4th, 2019

41:41

Camaro Kev and Carey help Luke and Andrew wrap-up two weeks TBTL Plays Favorites. Today's topic inspires conversations about a deconstructed and reconstructed Big Mac and big times at Saucy's Pizza.. . . Today's show …

#2807 The Dazzling Deets Of Diamond Dave

January 3rd, 2019

32:12

TBTL Plays Favorites continues with Luke, Andrew and Camaro Kev talking about a few of their favorite things. Today's secret topic involves a …

#2806 Ballad Of The Foul Pole

January 2nd, 2019

34:54

Luke and Andrew are joined by Camaro Kev (and a surprise guest) as they continue to discuss a few of their favorite things. Today's secret topic …

#2805 Mr. Interpolaaaaation

January 1st, 2019

38:35

Luke, Andrew and their pal Camaro Kev ring in the new year with another installment of TBTL Plays Favorites! Today's secret topic touches on false art accusations, a new podcast idea, and the famous Daniel Webster …

#2804 Face De Palma

December 31st, 2018

31:40

Week two of TBTL Plays Favorites kicks off when Camaro Kev swings by the studios of Walsh, Walsh & Doormat to discuss a few of his favorite …

#2803: The Biggest Bird Gets The Sugar

December 28th, 2018

35:37

Week one of TBTL Plays Favorites wraps up today with a very difficult question for Genevieve and Andrew that could threaten their relationship. But …

#2802 People For The Ethical Treatment Of Fashion

December 27th, 2018

37:08

Luke, Andrew and Genevieve continue to discuss a few of their favorite things during their special week of holiday programming. Today's secret topic …

#2801 The Road To Smell Is Paved With Good Intentions

December 26th, 2018

38:00

It's day three of TBTL Plays Favorites! Luke, Andrew and Genevieve continue to count down their favorite things. They also learn the difference between a recorder and a flutophone, and they hear how a kid got stuck in …

#2800 Gift Of The Traji

December 25th, 2018

33:14

It's a special Christmas Day edition of TBTL! Genevieve joins Andrew and Luke for the second installment of TBTL Plays Favorites, in which they …

#2799 TBTL Plays Favorites!

December 24th, 2018

38:58

Genevieve joins Luke and Andrew to kick-off their special week of holiday shows focusing on a few of their favorite things. Today's secret topic …

#2798 A Wizard Is Only As Good As His Word

December 21st, 2018

1:12:25

Luke and Andrew are gearing up for Christmas. Luke is planning some very last minute shopping, and he explains why he almost missed his live show in Portland last night. Plus, it's a final Christmas-themed Music For …

#2797 Vape In The Front, Hookah In The Back

December 20th, 2018

1:06:07

Comedian and TBTL friendo Andy Haynes swings by the studios of Walsh, Walsh & Doormat since he's performing just a few blocks away this weekend. He discusses his work on the critically acclaimed TV show "World's …

#2796 Teach Me How To TurtleSquirrel

December 19th, 2018

1:25:33

Luke watched a film that he's afraid may have changed his life, and Andrew got screamed at in a "taco joint." Plus, actor Alfonso Ribeiro is suing Fortnite for using the dance he came up with as Carlton on the Fresh …

#2795 Where The Red Fern Groans

December 18th, 2018

1:07:49

Kiki Lolo joins the show to offer some advice to gift-givers this holiday season. Plus, Luke set up a camera in his kitchen to catch a sneaky, …

#2794 A Peaceful Transition Of Hair

December 17th, 2018

2:30:21

Luke shares a fascinating story that explains some of the science behind dreams. Andrew is INTO IT. Luke also has some advice for balding talk show guests. And they look back on a mixed weekend of sports with the latest …

#2793 Small Talk In A Shrinking World

December 14th, 2018

1:15:36

Luke and Andrew try to decipher an important song from Luke's musical past, and they review a new remake of one of their favorite films (based on the trailer and soundtrack.) . . . Today's show is sponsored by Quip. …

#2792 Blursdays On Ice

December 13th, 2018

1:35:49

Luke’s neighbor on the flight to Chicago has some very annoying habits and a questionable photo on his phone. Meanwhile Andrew remembers back to a time he tried to remember something.
. . .
Today's show is sponsored by …

#2791 Planes, Pains, And Automobiles

December 12th, 2018

1:09:13

Luke's in New York City, where he's discovering that Lyft drivers are very different in the Big Apple. Plus, Andrew explains why he almost swore at …

#2790 Subverting The Thirst Paradigm

December 11th, 2018

1:43:47

A scientist says he's identified the funniest words in the English language. Luke and Andrew will be the judge of that! Plus, Andrew confesses to an encyclopedia-related sin, and he and Luke break down the Seahawk's …

#2789 The Shape Of Our Sinuses

December 10th, 2018

1:24:04

Jeannie Yandel joins the show from the hit podcast Battle Tactics For Your Sexist Workplace to list her favorite holiday beverages. She and Andrew …

#2788 Krang My Bell

December 7th, 2018

1:14:14

Luke has a plan to jog to the airport this afternoon, but will the Wizards at Avis rent a sweaty Luke a car? Plus, an aquarium claps back at Apple over a new squid emoji.. . . Today's show is sponsored by Libro.fm. …

#2787 Good Cop, Rude Cop

December 6th, 2018

1:35:12

Tom Cruise wants to make sure everyone's flat-screen TVs are set up properly to watch his high-def action movies. Luke and Andrew call up their own A/V expert, Camero Kev, to fact check Maverick's claims. . . . Today's …

#2786 You Got Szczerbed

December 5th, 2018

1:10:12

Luke's Los Angeles adventure continues with a trip to a selfie museum and a meal at Moby's vegan restaurant. Plus, Andrew helps PETA come up with more animal-safe idioms. . . . Today's show is sponsored by Libro.fm. …

#2785 Greenlighting Projects In Hollyweird

December 4th, 2018

1:18:55

Luke faces some demons on his trip to Los Angeles (aka, The Big Apple Down Under.) Plus, an artist buys a Banksy painting so he can destroy it. And Luke and Andrew talk about the weekend in sports in a Tuesday edition …

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