TBTL- Too Beautiful to Live

100 EpisodesProduced by Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

TBTL (Too Beautiful to Live) is a daily weekday podcast from Luke Burbank and co-host/producer Andrew Walsh. It is about life, current events, popular culture, puttering, serial boat ownership, and night pants. Hotline: (206) 414-8285.

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#2923 Texas, Walkers & Gladness

June 14th, 2019

1:11:26

Luke and Andrew record from the studios of Walsh Walsh & Doormat and discuss Hero Weathermen and Moon Flags. . . . Today's show is sponsored by …

#2922 A More Responsible Font

June 13th, 2019

1:08:25

Luke had a transformative experience interviewing Pete Holmes on stage last night. He and Andrew also discuss the fascinating world of vintage …

#2021 Every Zapp, Roger and Harry

June 12th, 2019

1:07:26

Luke is straight-up zombified after a very day travels involving many cities and a malfunctioning Johnny Cab driver. He and Andrew discuss an …

#2920 Birdverts And Nerdverts

June 11th, 2019

1:11:45

NW Nerd's Nick Jarin and Dyer Oxley swing by the studios of Walsh, Walsh and Doormat to promote a live event that Andrew swore he wouldn't promote on …

#2919 Go Mariners And Go Milk A Cow

June 10th, 2019

1:19:46

Luke joins the show from downtown Cleveland, and Andrew's pretty psyched about that. They also cover the Top Stories of the day, including a Burger …

#2918 Calm Down, Lil Sartre

June 7th, 2019

1:30:47

NASA is going to start letting tourists sleep on the space station for what seems to be a reasonable amount of money, relatively speaking. Luke and Andrew discuss that, as well as a story about a woman who thought she …

#2917 What We Talk About When We Talk About Talking On TBTL

June 6th, 2019

1:24:29

New York City has decided to crack down on scofflaw ice cream trucks, and it's creating quite the scene. Plus, Amazon is inviting Seattlites to visit it's stinky, stinky flower, Luke turned down a TV offer, and Andrew …

#2916 A Disappointment Of TBTLs

June 5th, 2019

1:26:27

Andrew's sleep schedule is all off, and it may have to do with the way he's cleaning his ears. Plus, Luke has a new favorite …

#2915 Heaven's Oldest Teenager

June 4th, 2019

1:47:02

Luke and Andrew are back from their Great Australian Adventure and ready to tackle today's Top Stories involvingnJeopardy!,nLeon Redbone, and the …

#2914 Live From The Pink Panther Pub In Larrimah, Australia!

June 3rd, 2019

1:26:28

After months and months of dreaming and days and days of driving, Luke and Andrew finally make it through the Outback and find themselves at the Pink Panther Pub and Hotel in Larrimah, Australia. They're here to find …

#2913 Miles And Miles Of Kilometers

May 30th, 2019

1:24:50

Luke and Andrew are dazed, dazzled, and durpy as they roll into Tennant Creek, Australia, where they meet the Outback's #1 Madonna fan and Andrew is …

#2912 Diabolically Pestiferous

May 30th, 2019

1:10:38

Luke and Andrew make it to Alice Springs and hit an emotional and mental wall. They bust through it though, and come out the other side as better friends. Also, they get free jars of water from a funky coffee shop, …

#2911 Arvos, Eskies and Sudowners

May 29th, 2019

1:16:17

Luke and Andrew check-in from Coober Pedy, Australia, "The Opal Capital of the World," where they record the show next to a dang spaceship! They discuss the all the news that's fit to print in the Coober Pedy Regional …

#2910 Oh No

May 28th, 2019

1:18:43

Luke and Andrew make it to Port Augusta, SA, and find a local newspaper column about cemeteries oddly fascinating. Plus, Luke learns that gas station …

#2909 TBTL-a-Thon 10: Nerdy, Dirty & Flirty

May 27th, 2019

1:24:31

Luke and Andrew kick off their Australian Adventure in the shadow of Larry the Lobster, and they end up discussing selfie-sticks, Luke's new favorite …

#2908 Ziggle Skagit, Let's Get Back Agit!

May 24th, 2019

1:38:39

Luke and Andrew are all packed and ready to leave on their Australian Adventure. Meanwhile their friend & colleague P-Fletch stops by to give …

#2907 Sing Dem Welsh Boy Blues

May 23rd, 2019

1:20:16

Luke and Andrew are slightly freaking out on the eve of their great Australian adventure. Plus, Luke has a mouse in his house, and it just might be one of the Wet Bandits. And speaking of bandits, there's a super …

#2906 I Would Do Anything For Larrikinism (But I Won't Do That)

May 22nd, 2019

1:37:21

Luke tries to persuade Andrew to take part in one of Australia's grossest traditions, but Andrew...well, he's Andrew. They also find themselves at the intersection of two of TBTL's most lauded topics: Dreams and …

#2905 Roofing Is What Happens When You're Making Other Podcasts

May 21st, 2019

1:14:51

Luke and Andrew discover a kink in their plan to podcast live from the very remote town of Larrimah, Australia. But they also discover a beautiful …

A Song Of Ice And Spoilers: More Like Bran The Boring

May 20th, 2019

1:23:10

Luke and Andrew bid farewell to Game of Thrones as they break down the good, the bad, and the Bran-ness of yesterday's final episode. They also look back at the entire series and the wild journey it's taken them on for …

#2904 Don't Stop Bewitching

May 20th, 2019

1:28:54

Luke and Andrew set out to discuss the cultural significance of the Game of Thrones finale, but they mostly end up talking about Rush lead singer …

#2903 The Grumpy Was A Cat!

May 17th, 2019

1:19:35

Luke and Andrew come up with a plan to meet-up with Australian listeners during their time down under. They also discuss the connection between the California Raisins and Batman, and they pay tribute to (and discuss the …

#2902 There's A Right Way To Clock

May 16th, 2019

1:05:35

Luke and Andrew start off by tackling the big question of the day: Is "as per usual" a proper phrase or a bastardization of the English language? (Or is it just "very unique"?) Plus, a man gets kicked off an airplane …

#2901 You Know I.T., Baby!

May 15th, 2019

1:50:11

Luke and Andrew join the show hot off their company-mandated cyber security training, which they found to be very informative and a worthwhile use of their time. They also discuss the investigation into Navy pilots who …

A Song Of Ice And Spoilers: Downtown Dany Targaryen

May 14th, 2019

55:20

Maybe it's all the dragon fire, or maybe it's the 17.6 cups of coffee they both consumed this morning, but Luke and Andrew are very fired up about …

#2900 All Kinds Of Quiet Trouble

May 14th, 2019

1:08:18

Andrew is having trouble waking up in the morning, and he blames the new alarm sounds on his phone. Luke tries to help. Then this special 2900th episode goes off the rails as they discuss DIY braces, AndyMan Grills, a …

#2899 High Art Clowning

May 13th, 2019

1:52:02

Luke gets into more trouble with his boat this weekend (not the boat that he crashed in the water, but the one he crashed on land last year.) But luckily, a good friend saved the day! He and Andrew take a break from …

#2898 Ken Jennings: The Kayfabe Is Strong

May 10th, 2019

1:25:29

TBTL Friendo and All-Time Jeopardy! Champ Ken Jennings swings by the studio to talk about the latest challenger to his throne. He also talks to Luke and Andrew about the irreplaceable Alex Trebek and Ken's uneasy …

#2897 The Misadventures Of Carl Cruller

May 9th, 2019

1:22:43

Digging deep into TBTL voicemails from a decade ago has Luke and Andrew feeling all kinds of ways. Plus, a fascinating Top Story from Andrew's hometown leads to a confession about his criminal past.. . . Today's show …

#2896 The Frenzy Continues! (Part 1)

May 8th, 2019

1:01:16

Luke and Rudy find themselves in a stranger's scary backyard while out on an evening stroll. Was it Bugs Meany's house? MAYBE! Plus, listeners offer …

A Song Of Ice And Spoilers: Cersei Gonna Cers!

May 7th, 2019

1:03:10

Luke and Andrew take a look at Episode Four through dragon-colored glasses. Andrew is very into the conflicting feelings about Daenerys Stormborn, …

#2895 They Might Be Gigante

May 7th, 2019

1:29:07

Luke and Andrew learn about yet another weird animal to watch out for in Australia, while also descending down a rabbit-hole of minor league baseball …

#2894 All Your Theme Songs Are Belong To Us

May 6th, 2019

1:36:04

NPR's Morning Edition has changed its theme music after 40 years. Luke and Andrew weigh-in on the results. Plus, a whale showed up in Norway that may …

#2893 Watch Your Languid! With Hari Kondabolu

May 3rd, 2019

1:37:23

TBTL Friendo Hari Kondabolu joins the show to explain why he got yelled at by a pirate in a comedy club. Also, one of Andrew's film heroes started …

#2892 Who Is Your Progenitor And What Does He Do?

May 2nd, 2019

1:43:32

Luke and Andrew finalize their Australian itinerary and are feeling something uncharacteristic - confident. Meanwhile, Luke talks about his TV appearance on Wednesday that had him feeling very unconfident. . . . …

#2891 Run The Cans

May 1st, 2019

1:30:00

In a weird twist of fate, Luke is now the one having garbage pickup problems, so he and Andrew call the Bay City trash management company to demand some answers. Plus, we listen back to a very young Todd Barry on the …

A Song Of Ice And Spoilers: The Night Is Very, Very, Very Dark (And Full Of Zombies)

April 30th, 2019

50:37

Luke "The Onion Bagel Knight" Burbank and Andrew "Tamuel Smarley" Walsh break down the Battle of Winterfell -- the good, the bad, and the stuff that …

#2890 Mine Graft

April 30th, 2019

1:07:05

Andrew has some bad news about his weekly garbage pickup, but he says he's going to be okay. He and Luke also talk about how the Monkees inspired one of Luke's favorite Del The Funky Homosapien songs, and how getting …

#2889 Big Bite Energy

April 29th, 2019

1:34:48

Australia is dropping poisonous sausages from airplanes to curb its feral cat problem. That checks a lot of TBTL boxes, story-wise. Plus, Luke is preparing for his dangerous jobs in the outback by getting chased by dogs …

#2888 Undercuts And Charlie Brown Stripes With Nora McInerny

April 26th, 2019

1:26:51

TBTL Friendo Nora McInerny joins Luke and Andrew in their attic studio at APM to talk about her new book, her new TED talk, and all the other amazing things she's been up to. They also discuss the worst haircut ever …

#2887 Sweet Lovin' Time For Big Flying Projectiles

April 25th, 2019

1:24:34

Luke and Andrew share the details of their romantic date along the banks of the swollen Mississippi River last night. Plus, a local news station uses …

#2886 Tidy Little Tangents

April 24th, 2019

1:19:40

Luke and Andrew reflect on their RAN HAM bowling party last night, the rising Mississippi River, their friend Jason Newman, and a person they wish was their friend -- the singer Lizzo. . . . Today's show is sponsored …

A Song Of Ice And Spoilers: And Now Our Wash Begins

April 23rd, 2019

52:04

Luke and Andrew have very different takes on Season 8 Episode 2 "A Knight of The Seven Kingdoms" and things get tense. However, on the positive side, they do seem to be zeroing in on who Jon Snow is, so that's at least …

#2885 Avoid The Toid

April 23rd, 2019

1:24:32

Luke and Andrew check-in from St. Paul, where they just survived a near-disaster in the Studio P right before the show. Plus, Luke learns he might …

#2884 Minnesota NOICE!

April 22nd, 2019

1:34:48

Luke and Andrew make it to the APM Mother Ship just in time to have 35 meetings, which has them feeling stressed. Meanwhile, Luke has a near run-in with a kindly pizza delivery person, and Andrew might have found a way …

#2883 Tempted By The Fruit Of A Letter

April 19th, 2019

1:36:06

Andrew might have started a fight between two strangers last night, while Luke finds himself in the middle of his own donnybrook online. Plus we have some Music For Your Weekend! . . . Today's show is sponsored by

#2882 Dear God, Helf Us

April 18th, 2019

1:35:10

Luke sat next to a self-styled Donald Trump impersonator on his trip from Cleveland to Portland, putting his Skyjinx survival instincts to the test. Plus, Luke and Andrew discover a new terrifying creature to be afraid …

#2881 Nostalgia Is A Powerful Drug

April 17th, 2019

1:04:04

Andrew and Luke discuss their favorite food-related Bible stories. Andrew also helps Luke prep for his trip to Cleveland, and Luke talks about the …

A Song Of Ice And Spoilers: Don't Be A Bran

April 16th, 2019

1:00:18

A Song Of Ice And Spoilers returns for the final season of Game of Thrones! Luke and Andrew discuss the season premiere and ask the important questions every hardcore fan wants to know, like what is a White Walker and …

#2880 Don't Jeff Lynne Me!

April 16th, 2019

1:30:52

It's the day after Tax Day, and Luke is trying to declare Andrew as one of his dependents. They also discuss the life and death of one of the last …

#2879 Dingus In Real Life

April 15th, 2019

1:46:44

Luke's outdoor misadventures continued this weekend, almost leading to a Drama In Real Life situation. Plus, TV networks have admitted to piping bird …

#2878 Aggressively Finite

April 12th, 2019

1:36:12

Luke and Andrew go through the pile of letters they've received from listeners regarding their questionable trip through the Australian Outback. . . . Today's show is sponsored by Snowe. Visit SnoweHome.com/tbtl to get …

#2877 Schitt's Heads

April 11th, 2019

1:24:50

The first-ever photos of a black hole 54 million light years away put Luke and Andrew in a philosophical mood. And the details about how the photo …

#2876 Scissors Rock Paper?

April 10th, 2019

1:17:32

Luke learns that he may have to legally change his name. But like, for REAL. Plus, Andrew sets the record straight on some things that have been …

#2875 Schrodinger's Doots

April 9th, 2019

2:12:26

A CNBC video encouraging people to tip their servers less "without looking cheap" is making people very, very angry. Luke and Andrew discuss this and …

#2874 Slightly Fapooned

April 8th, 2019

1:50:05

Luke has a very chance encounter on one of his hikes, and thus answers the age old question: What happens when Luke meets a stranger in the Alps? …

#2873 Smaller Than A Yaris, Bigger Than A Breadbox

April 5th, 2019

1:54:14

Australian listeners let Luke and Andrew know that their upcoming trip through the Outback is misguided and dangerous. But will they heed the warnings? Plus, a writer researches why Americans fell out of love with …

#2872 One Bro, Turning It Up!

April 4th, 2019

1:09:02

Luke and Andrew re-examine their use of slang, and they announce their BIG PLANS for the upcoming TBTL-a-Thon! . . . Today's show is sponsored by Quip. Visit GetQuip.com/tbtl to get your first refill pack free with a …

#2871 Now You've Got A Mom In The Jewelry Business

April 3rd, 2019

2:03:14

Luke and Andrew try to figure out if they're nerds, dweebs, or geeks (or something worse.) Plus, a decades-long mystery involving Garfield phones …

#2870 Mother Of Lawyers

April 2nd, 2019

1:13:53

After a night of TV watching, Luke finds himself disappointed in a couple of beloved TV shows. He and Andrew also discuss Burger King's plan to start selling meatless Impossible Burgers, and a Post's plan to start …

#2869 Cuneiform in Uniform

April 1st, 2019

2:03:02

Luke subjects Andrew to a April Fool's Day quiz, and they spend a lot of time trying to answer a listener's truly brain-breaking question about their …

#2868 Reverse Stridex

March 29th, 2019

1:27:57

A man in Woodenbong, Australia, wants to build a giant wooden bong to attract tourists and raise "trillions" of dollars for the community. Luke and …

#2867 We Have The Seitan!

March 28th, 2019

1:32:57

A music review of a 25-year old record is creating outrage on (wait for it)....The Internet! Andrew and Luke look back at some of their own bad …

#2866 Ain't No Fun When The Rabbit's Got The Gurgle

March 27th, 2019

1:02:15

Andrew tries to resurrect one of his favorite Morning Zoo radio bits from his childhood with less than stellar results. Plus, he and Luke ACTUALLY …

#2865 Let's Keep It Sausagey, San Diego!

March 26th, 2019

1:52:16

Andrew picked up a piece of litter in his neighborhood that ended up being a lot more than he'd bargained for. Plus, a tweet from Sarah Silverman completely rocks Luke's world, and Andrew is trying to figure out if he's …

#2864 The Fanny Pack Of Tourism

March 25th, 2019

1:25:09

Luke and Addie embark on a Segway adventure to remember! And Andrew has discovered his new favorite movie theater. It happens to be the same one where Luke spent his youth.n . . . Today's show is sponsored by Grove …

#2863 Spring Equi-Nots

March 22nd, 2019

1:06:19

Luke accidentally bought the most expensive glass of milk in New York City. He and Andrew also discuss a new Volvo that will take control of itself …

#2862 They Fugetaboutited It!

March 21st, 2019

1:27:22

Luke's stay in the Barton Fink Hotel is getting weirder. Also, he just got his photo taken for a CBS ID card, and it is...not good.n . . . Today's show is sponsored by Capterra. Visit Capterra.com/TBTL for free to find …

#2861 Cleats And A Clipboard

March 20th, 2019

1:17:13

Luke and Andrew wake up in the middle of the damn night to watch the Mariners open their baseball season in Japan. Plus, the StuBot checks in from …

#2860 Canoodle Me You Must

March 19th, 2019

1:38:40

Luke is back with stories of his LA adventures involving Kathy Griffin, her dogs, and a healthy dose of adult acne. . . . Today's show is sponsored …

#2859 You Kiss Your Mother With That Podcast?

March 18th, 2019

1:29:45

Famously Clean Person Hanna Brooks Olsen swings by TBTL to test her knowledge of cleaned-up movie lines and song lyrics...and also to talk about her upcoming Soup Date. . . . Today's show is sponsored by Capterra. …

#2858 God Loves A Condor

March 15th, 2019

1:38:05

Luke's latest off-book athletic adventure leads to a run-in with a well-armed soldier. Meanwhile, Andrew's not sure he could ever truly love a …

#2857 Blursting At The Seams!

March 14th, 2019

1:22:10

Luke is in San Diego, so Andrew assumes that he's hanging out with the San Diego Chicken. Which might actually be a turkey? Also, Twitter considers …

#2856 The Fighting TBDs!

March 13th, 2019

1:54:14

Andrew tries to help Luke with some troublesome pimples with the help of a YouTube makeup tutorial. Meanwhile, the college admissions scandal that is …

#2855 Repo The Rocking Horse

March 12th, 2019

2:10:52

Today on TBTL, we learn that there are many more flavors of Bartles and Jaymes than you ever possibly imagined and that piano players shouldn't try …

#2854 You Don't Have To Be Right To Be Proud

March 11th, 2019

1:42:11

The Mystery of Luke's Missing Basketball comes to a conclusion, but not after some more twists and turns. Plus, Luke talks about his illicit hiking adventures over the weekend, and he and Andrew discuss the Simpson's …

#2853 Flavor Blasted Within An Inch Of Our Lives

March 8th, 2019

1:32:57

Things got weird on the final day of Luke's Vegas pizza expo. Like, "old man trying to steal camera equipment" weird. Plus, Luke felt forced to eat …

#2852 Game Apologize To Game

March 7th, 2019

1:24:08

Andrew is giddy after having a wonderfully aimless day in Seattle that involved hot dogs, dice, and a chance encounter. Meanwhile in Las Vegas, Luke …

#2851 Quit Rememberin' That!

March 6th, 2019

1:14:50

Luke is living the future in Las Vegas, where a self-driving car delivered him to a pizza convention.  Meanwhile, Andrew is buying cassette tapes in Lynnwood, Washington.
. . .
Today's show is sponsored by Quip. Visit

#2850 I Made A Spoon For You!

March 5th, 2019

1:11:44

Luke joins the show from Las Vegas, where he's covering a pizza convention that has a lot of TBTL connections. Plus, He and Andrew pay their respects …

#2849 The Self-Shaming Never-Nude

March 4th, 2019

1:23:11

TBTL Friendo (and Editor?) Phyllis "P-Fletch" Fletcher joins the show to talk about her new job and to hear how Luke barely survived a mountain hike this weekend, only to end-up in a clothing-optional hot tub. (You got …

#2848 Andy’s Magical Shoebox Of Dreams

March 1st, 2019

1:49:20

Luke and Andrew are downright outraged -- well, certainly miffed, at least -- over an airline suing a passenger for skipping a flight. Plus, Luke …

#2847 Myth Trusters

February 28th, 2019

3:04:21

Reader's Digest brings the goods again! Andrew quizzes Luke on the magazine's list of "health myths". Plus, Luke has a very stressful …

#2846 Slower Burn

February 27th, 2019

1:56:24

Luke and Andrew hear from three listeners with three different mysteries they're trying to solve; One is smell-related, one is garbage-related, and …

#2845 Slingin' Caps With Luke and Andy!

February 26th, 2019

1:41:26

Luke and Andrew reach out to Weird Al Yankovic's publicist to try to clear-up a 6-year old misunderstanding. They also play all the drug-related …

#2844 Ziggle Zaggit, Let's Get Back At It!

February 25th, 2019

1:35:13

Andrew returns from his Hawaiian vacation, where he met a new nemesis, and Luke reports on his experience backstage at the Oscars with Wolfgang Puck. …

#2843 Wonderful Thanks For Chatting w/ Nora McInerny!

February 22nd, 2019

1:19:22

Luke and Nora McInerny climb into a rental car in Portland and tour various Burbank Family Businesses. Special thanks this episode to Kelly Shannon of Edmonds WA and Allison deMello of Millbury MA! . . . Today's …

#2842 Steve Scher, Dog Ombudsman

February 21st, 2019

1:17:00

Luke checks in from backstage at The Oscars and chats with TBTL Friend Steve Scher about what our love for dogs says about us as people. Special thanks this episode Michelle Rickman of Los Angeles, CA and Jessica …

#2841 Mine Your Business Canadians, featuring Kiki Lolo!

February 20th, 2019

1:09:14

Luke decides to ignore some "trail closed" signs in Joshua Tree and TBTL Colleague Kristina Lopez stops by to discuss the latest TV shows she's …

#2840 How to Spill Milk with Jen "Flash" Andrews

February 19th, 2019

1:36:05

Luke survives an epic hike in Joshua Tree and TBTL Co-Founder Jen Andrews stops by to talk about things she learned from her mom. Special Thanks this episode to Keith Brewster of Chardon OH and Katherine Damman of …

#2839 Motorcycles and Ninja Stars with Chioke I'Anson

February 18th, 2019

1:18:34

Luke checks in from Joshua Tree California, home of the Outdoorsy Hipster and chats with Chioke I'Anson, voice of NPR underwriting and Horror Enthusiast. Special thanks this episode to Lou Haney of Charlottesville VA …

#2838 Banh Meh

February 15th, 2019

1:31:32

Dan Pashman of the Sporkful Podcast joins Luke and Andrew to talk about a Chuck E. Cheese conspiracy, bad food fonts, and his upcoming show in …

#2837 Love Is On The Air: A TBTL Valentine's Special

February 14th, 2019

55:04

Luke and Andrew hear from Tens of listeners who share their stories of young love, old love and misguided love in this Valentine's Day radio special! …

#2836 Pants On The Sound

February 13th, 2019

1:24:03

A celebration of Kimmy Schmidt turns into a conversation about free speech and "PC culture." Didn't see that one coming! Plus, listeners weigh in on …

#2835 Look Who's Twinsing Two!

February 12th, 2019

1:37:09

Andrew is upset about some area toughs throwing SNOWBALLS of all things. Meanwhile, Luke has been doing what you're supposed to do when you're buried under a mountain of snow: Watching TONS of TV. He weighs-in on Pete …

#2834 The Marie Condor Method

February 11th, 2019

1:31:02

Luke and Andrew swap snow stories as the Pacific Northwest continues to get buried. Plus, Luke is ready to start his new life in retail arbitrage after reading an article about it, and Andrew has a real moment with a …

#2833 A Favela of Esoterica

February 8th, 2019

1:18:38

Luke swings by the offices of Walsh, Walsh & Doormat to swap stories with Andrew of a city on the brink of collapse as an impending snowstorm …

#2832 Breath, Body and Pirate Treasure

February 7th, 2019

1:01:14

Luke is watching the weather as an impending snowstorm may ruin his plans for the next few days. Meanwhile, Andrew tries to resurrect a classic TBTL segment, and he accidentally teaches Luke how to grift the government. …

#2831 One Crime, Please! **Ding!**

February 6th, 2019

1:55:44

Luke and Andrew go down their bi-annual Yakov Smirnoff rabbit hole and explore some of his work helping people with their relationships. Plus, ESPN …

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