Stoic Coffee Break

**Before I begin today's episode, I want let you know that I'm putting Stoic Coffee Break on indefinite hiatus. It has been a great year of working on this podcast and I want to thank everyone for your support. **

Today …

Imposter Syndrome has killed more great works, more companies, more careers and possibilities than almost anything I know. When we begin something that we want to be skilled at, we understandably feel like we don’t …

How to be Angry
One of the things that I find vexes us in modern society is how to be angry. Anger is not a bad thing in an of itself. It simply is an emotion. When we get angry it is because something has bothered us. …

How often do we approach decisions in a black and white manner? We wonder if we are making the "right" choice, which often leads us to think there is only one choice. What if instead of there being a "right" choice or a …

Self Ownership

> “I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinions of himself than on the opinions of others.”
> — Marcus …

Don’t Kill the Message.

Often, we dismiss an idea because it makes us feel uncomfortable. We can miss out on potentially great ideas simply because we don’t like the idea. We may dismiss the idea out of hand because it …

Better than you?

We are always comparing ourselves to others. It is the ego’s way of feeling like the self-image that is is a good one. We want to feel like we are “doing it right”. Often this means that we compare …

What if you were able to look at the world and yourself more objectively? What if you could see things without so much judgment or emotion attached? …

Time is the most important, the most in-demand resource that we have in life. Are you spending yours wisely or do you let it go to waste?

How much time?
The most finite resource that each of us has is our time. We can …

Humans are very social creatures. It is our ability to be social and to cooperate in large numbers that has enabled us to create such amazing societies. We usually feel most at home when we’re with others, but there are …

One of the hazards of being alive is the fact that we’re never going to please everyone. We’re going to have people that will not like what we do. People are going to criticize whatever it is we’re doing. And in the …

What could possibly go wrong? I think one of the biggest mistakes that we as humans make is that we are far too optimistic about how something we’re …

This weeks episode is an interview with Jeff Emtman from the Here Be Monsters podcast. This is my first time interviewing someone, and Jeff is a very …

One of the weirdest things about being a human is how we get comfortable with our habits, and resist change, while at the same time we get bored when things stay the same. In this weeks episode will talk about how to …

I had the good fortune of being interviewed on Memonto the Stoics with Santiago Proaño, so I'm posting it as a bonus episode. Enjoy!

You can find his podcast here: https://anchor.fm/memento-the-stoics/

Are you disturbed by the political landscape that has changed so rapidly over the last 4 years? As more and more authoritarian parties come into …

Why is it hard for us to be vulnerable, especially when it comes to those we care about the most? Partners, children, family, close friends - if …

Do you struggle to live up to your principles? Do feel like when you make a mistake that all your efforts were not worth it? In this weeks episode, we’re going to talk about how to approach mistakes in a much more …

The Un-Pursuit of Happiness

Do you struggle to find happiness within yourself? Do you despair every time you watch the news? In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about how to get over this despair and how pursuing …

Transcript:

I talk a lot on this podcast about anger because it’s something that I’ve been working to manage in my own life. And today, I want to talk about the language of anger, and about learning to redefine and talk …

How often do we compare ourselves with others? Why do you we get down on ourselves when someone is better than us at something? This weeks episode is about comparison, and how to get past the need to compare ourselves …

How often do we look outside of ourselves to know what to do? How often do we doubt ourselves and look to others to find a solution to a problem? How …

How many great things have never happened because of fear? How many times did you give up on a dream because of fear? This weeks episode, we’re going to talk about fear, what it is, what it does, and how to move past it.

How do you remain true to the aspirations you have? How do you not let other people’s opinions sway you from your principles? This weeks episode is …

When was the last time that you felt a really strong emotion? What was that emotion? Gratitude? Joy? Anger? Jealousy? Emotions are a powerful force …

As human beings, we have an amazing gift - the ability to be conscious of our own thinking. How are you taking advantage of this gift? When we are unaware of the thoughts running through our head, we are relinquishing …

Why do we feel a sense of injury when disagrees with us? Why do we feel hurt when someone tells us we are wrong? In this week’s episode, we’re going to talk why were worry so much about what others think of us and how …

I’ve been thinking a lot about motivation and how we accomplish the goals that we set out to do. And I think there’s a bit a confusion about motivation and how it helps us get things done. Let’s take a look at the …

“Circumstances don’t make the man, they only reveal him to himself.”

– Epictetus

How do we deal with difficulties? Do we see them as challenges or …

Show Notes:

• How many times have we made judgments about someone when we first meet them, that later turn out to be completely wrong?

“Impressions, …

“Putting things off is the biggest waste of life: it snatches away each day as it comes, and denies us the present by promising the future. The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow, and …

“Tentative efforts lead to tentative outcomes. Therefore, give yourself fully to your endeavors. Decide to construct your character through excellent …

“The honest and good man ought to be exactly like a man who smells strong, so that the bystander, as soon as he comes near him, must smell him …

“You must know that it is no easy thing for a principle to become a man's own, unless each day he maintain it and hear it maintained, as well as work …

“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has. ”

― Epictetus

Show Notes:

• If you were to …

“Very little is needed for everything to be upset and ruined, only a slight lapse in reason. it’s much easier for a mariner to wreck his ship than it is for him to keep it sailing safely; all he has to do is head a …

“How ridiculous and unrealistic is the man who is astonished at anything that happens in life.”

― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations Book 12

Show Notes:

• …

“First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak.” 



― Epictetus

Show Notes:

• Have you ever been around someone that uses words they don’t …

“He suffers more than necessary, who suffers before it is necessary.”

― Seneca

Show Notes:

• How often have you stressed over something or worried …

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”

― Marcus Aurelius

Show Notes:

• So many things in …

“Man is affected, not by events, but by the view he takes of them.”

— Epictetus

• Human beings are creatures that love good stories. Stories are the …

“If evil be said of thee, and if it be true, correct thyself; if it be a lie, laugh at it.” 



― Epictetus

Show Notes:

“To admonish is better than to reproach for admonition is mild and friendly, but reproach is harsh and insulting; and admonition corrects those who …

“Well-being is attained little by little, and nevertheless is no little thing itself.”

― Zeno of Citium

Transcript:

Hello friends, welcome to the Stoic Coffee Break. Today's episode...Stuff

“Until we have begun to go without them, we fail to realize how unnecessary many things are. We've been using them not because we …

“If you really want to escape the things that harass you, what you’re needing is not to be in a different place but to be a different …

“Other people's views and troubles can be contagious. Don't sabotage yourself by unwittingly adopting negative, unproductive attitudes through your …

“Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.”

― Seneca

Show Notes:

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

― Seneca

• Are you a lucky person?
• The Stoics understood that most things in life are out …

“Any person capable of angering you becomes your master;

he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him.”

― Epictetus

Show …

“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so …

“Even as the Sun does not wait for prayers and incantations to rise, but shines forth and is welcomed by all: so should you not wait for clapping of …

“As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.”

― Seneca

We live in a time where the average lifespan is almost double what it was 200 years ago.
Advances in medicine, sanitation, …

“You always own the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can't control. …

“The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best.” — Epictetus

Have you found your tribe? Have you found that group of people that are your “chosen” family, who just make …

“He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.” ― Epictetus

One of the most important things in life is that we don’t take ourselves too seriously. Remember, Stoics keep in the forefront of their minds …

“How much better to heal than seek revenge from injury. Vengeance wastes a lot of time and exposes you to many more injuries than the first that sparked it. Anger always outlasts hurt. Best to take the opposite course. …

“Nature hath given men one tongue but two ears, that we may hear from others twice as much as we speak.”

— Epictetus

Epictetus was known for his clever wit and pithy sayings, and here he’s giving us some very good …

“Progress is not achieved by luck or accident, but by working on yourself daily.”

— Epictetus

Often, we find it difficult to take the steps to …

“Remember, it is not enough to be hit or insulted to be harmed, you must believe that you are being harmed. If someone succeeds in provoking you, …

“I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others.”

— Marcus Aurelius

“It is in your power to withdraw yourself whenever you desire. Perfect tranquility within consists in the good ordering of the mind, the realm of your own.”

― Marcus Aurelius

How often do you take time in your day to …

“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.”

― Marcus Aurelius

If you’ve been listening to the podcast for a …

“Epictetus being asked how a man should give pain to his enemy answered, By preparing himself to live the best life that he can.”

— Epictetus

How …

“The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it. Skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests.” ― Epictetus

“Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.” ― Marcus Aurelius

“It is unrealistic to expect people to see you as you see yourself.” ― Epictetus

“Most of what passes for legitimate entertainment is inferior or foolish and only caters to or exploits people's weaknesses. Avoid being one of the …

“Do not try to seem wise to others. If you want to live a wise life, live it on your own terms and in your own eyes.” ― Epictetus

“A boxer derives the greatest advantage from his sparring partner – and my accuser is my sparring partner. He trains me in patience, civility and even temper.” — Epictetus

“Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about …

“We must not believe the many, who say that only free people ought to be educated, but we should rather believe the philosophers who say that only …

“Caretake this moment. Immerse yourself in its particulars. Respond to this person, this challenge, this deed. Quit the evasions. Stop giving …

“Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems.” ― Epictetus

“Don't just say you have read books. Show that through them you have learned to think better, to be a more discriminating and reflective person. …

“Accustom yourself to attend carefully to what is said by another, and as much as it is possible, try to inhabit the speaker’s mind.” — Marcus …

"When you have been compelled by circumstances to be disturbed in a manner, quickly return to yourself and do not continue out of tune longer than …

“Sick and yet happy, in peril and yet happy, dying and yet happy, in exile and happy, in disgrace and happy.” — Epictetus

"Remember, too, on every occasion that leads you to vexation to apply this principle: not that this is a misfortune, but that to bear it nobly is good fortune." — Marcus Aurelius

“So does this misfortune prevent you in any way from being just, generous, sober, reasonable, careful, free from error, courteous, free, etc. – all …

“If money is your only standard, then consider that, by your lights, someone who loses their nose does not suffer any harm.“ — Epictetus

“Show me one person who cares how they act, someone for whom success is less important than the manner in which it is achieved. While out walking, who gives any thought to the act of walking itself? Who pays attention …

"Let us overlook many things in those who are like opponents in the gymnasium. For, as I have said before, it is in our power to get out of the way and to have no suspicion or hatred." — Marcus Aurelius

"Everything is only for a day, both that which remembers and that which is remembered." — Marcus Aurelius

“When somebody’s wife or child dies, to a man we all routinely say, ‘Well, that’s part of life.’ But if one of our own family is involved, then right …

"This, then, is the beginning of philosophy – an awareness of one’s own mental fitness." — Epictetus

“We are responsible for some things, while there are others for which we cannot be held responsible.” — Epictetus

“Impressions, striking a person’s mind as soon as he perceives something within range of his senses, are not voluntary or subject to his will, they …

“I have a bad neighbour – bad, that is, for himself. For me, though, he is good: he exercises my powers of fairness and sociability. “ — Epictetus

“If we try to adapt our mind to the regular sequence of changes and accept the inevitable with good grace, our life will proceed quite smoothly and …

“[Treat] unenlightened souls with sympathy and indulgence, remembering that they are ignorant or mistaken about what’s most important. Never be …

“If you like doing something, do it regularly; if you don’t like doing something, make a habit of doing something different. The same goes for moral …

"If you didn’t learn these things in order to demonstrate them in practice, what did you learn them for?" - Epictetus

“When a guide meets up with someone who is lost, ordinarily his reaction is to direct him on the right path, not mock or malign him, then turn on his heel and walk away. As for you, lead someone to the truth and you …

“Take a lyre player: he’s relaxed when he performs alone, but put him in front of an audience, and it’s a different story, no matter how beautiful …

"Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: Some things are within our control, and some things are not. It is only …

“All our efforts must be directed towards an end, or we will act in vain. If it is not the right end, we will fail utterly.” - Epictetus

“People with a strong physical constitution can tolerate extremes of hot and cold; people of strong mental health can handle anger, grief, joy and …

“Nothing, to my way of thinking, is a better proof of a well ordered mind than a man’s ability to stop just where he is and pass some time in his own company.” ― Seneca

“There are two vices much blacker and more serious than the rest: lack of persistence and lack of self-control ... persist and resist.” - Epictetus

“So when you hear that even life and the like are indifferent, don’t become apathetic; and by the same token, when you’re advised to care about them, don’t become superficial and conceive a passion for externals.” - …

"Where does the good lie? ‘In the will.’ And evil? ‘Also in the will.’ And things neither good nor bad – ‘... lie in whatever is external to the will.’" - Epictetus

“Is any man afraid of change? What can take place without change? What then is more pleasing or more suitable to the universal nature? And can you take a hot bath unless the wood for the fire undergoes a change? And can …

“What illusion about myself do I entertain?” - Epictetus

“Settle on the type of person you want to be and stick to it, whether alone or in company. “ - Epictetus

“The more we value things outside our control, the less control we have.” - Epictetus

“For what does reason purport to do? ‘Establish what is true, eliminate what is false and suspend judgement in doubtful cases.’ ... What else does …

“What makes for freedom and fluency in the practice of writing? Knowledge of how to write. The same goes for the practice of playing an instrument. …

“So make a practice at once of saying to every strong impression: ‘An impression is all you are, not the source of the impression.’ Then test and assess it with your criteria, but one primarily: ask, ‘Is this something …

“If you learn that someone is speaking ill of you, don’t try to defend yourself against the rumours; respond instead with, ‘Yes, and he doesn’t know …

"If any man is able to convince me and show me that I do not think or act right, I will gladly change; for I seek the truth by which no man was ever injured. But he is injured who abides in his error and ignorance. " - …

“People to whom such things are still denied come to imagine that everything good will be theirs if only they could acquire them. Then they get them: …

“Do not be disgusted, discouraged, or dissatisfied if you do not succeed in doing everything according to right principles; but when you have failed, return again, and be content if the greater part of what you do is …

“In your conversation, don’t dwell at excessive length on your own deeds or adventures. Just because you enjoy recounting your exploits doesn’t mean that others derive the same pleasure from hearing about them.” - …

"To care for all men is according to man’s nature; and man should value the opinion only of those who openly live according to nature. " - Marcus …

“When someone criticizes you, they do so because they believe they are right. They can only go by their views, not yours. If their views are wrong, it is they who will suffer the consequences. Keeping this in mind, …

"Acquire the contemplative way of seeing how all things change into one another, and constantly attend to it, and exercise yourself in this part of philosophy. For nothing is so well suited to produce magnanimity." - …

“If someone bathes quickly, don’t say he doesn’t bathe properly, say he bathes quickly. If someone drinks a lot, don’t say he is a drunk, say he drinks a lot. Unless you know their reasons for their actions how can you …

“When you confine yourself to only those things that are under your control, you cannot be defeated. Don’t be fooled by outward appearances. People …

“Remember that for every challenge you face, you have the resources within you to cope with that challenge. If you are inappropriately attracted to someone, you will find you have the resource of self-restraint. When …

“If you are pained by any external thing, it is not this thing that disturbs you, but your own judgment about it. And it is in your power to wipe out this judgment now.” - Marcus Aurelius

“He who fears death fears either the loss of sensation or a different kind of sensation. But if you shall have no sensation, neither will you feel any harm; and if you will acquire another kind of sensation, you will be …

“No longer talk at all about the kind of man that a good man ought to be, but be such.” - Marcus Aurelius

"If a man objects to truths that are all too evident, it is no easy task finding arguments that will change his mind. This is proof neither of his own strength nor of his teacher’s weakness. When someone caught in an …

“A brief existence is common to all things, and yet you avoid and pursue all things as if they would be eternal.” - Marcus Aurelius

“Pleasures, when they go beyond a certain limit, are but punishments.” - Seneca

“The man who spends his time choosing one resort after another in a hunt for peace and quiet, will in every place he visits find something to prevent him from relaxing.” - Seneca

“We abandon our pursuits because we despair of ever perfecting them.” - Epictetus

“It is essential to make oneself used to putting up with a little. Even the wealthy and the well provided are continually met and frustrated by …

“A setback has often cleared the way for greater prosperity. Many things have fallen only to rise to more exalted heights.” - Seneca

“My advice is really this: what we hear the philosophers saying and what we find in their writings should be applied in our pursuit of the happy …

“What else are tragedies but the ordeals of people who have come to value externals, tricked out in tragic verse?” - Epictetus

Who do you seek the approval of? There’s only one person’s approval that matters.

Is a life with little drama boring or fulfilling?

When something bad happens in your life who’s to blame?

Let go of what you know so you can grow.

Learning a principle is easy. Applying it is hard. Growth takes time.

Are life’s difficulties troubles to be avoided or opportunities for you to grow? It’s your choice.

How do you balance living your true self with seek the approval of others?

How do you handle haters?

Keeping track our progress is key to creating a better life.

How do you let go of your assumptions?

Are you being the best version of yourself?

Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. Trust your path.

Never assume a malice when ignorance is more likely.

The greatest emperor in Rome had role models. Who are yours?

Can you be grateful for the challenges in your life?

How you think about things determines how you feel about them.

You cannot lose what you do not own

What does it mean to be a stoic?

Own every second that this world can give.

Are you creating a life that is better than death?

Why we should learn to love our fate.

What if you could be 100% in charge of your own emotions?

How should a stoic receive criticism?

Since we cannot control other people and have to accept them for who they are, does that mean we have to accept their bad behavior?

“Let philosophy scrape off your own faults, rather than be a way to rail against the faults of others,” wrote Seneca. Rather wasting time trying to …

You can’t control what happens to you in your life, but you can control your reaction.

A key factor in living a principled life is consistency. What areas of your life could be improved with a little consistency?

What are the uncomfortable truths about yourself that you are afraid to face in your life?

8 - Unquestioned Beliefs

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