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Spilled Milk

452 EpisodesProduced by Molly Wizenberg and Matthew Amster-BurtonWebsite

Every week on Spilled Milk, writers/comedians Molly Wizenberg and Matthew Amster-Burton start with a food-related topic, from apples to winter squash, and run with it as far as they can go—and, regrettably, sometimes further.

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Episode 444: Shichimi Tōgarashi

July 2nd, 2020


Today we finally start paving Memory Lane as we learn Matthew is all bluster and Molly sprouted from a root cellar. As we discuss spice blends, …

Episode 443: Candy Canes

June 25th, 2020


Happy Christmas in June! Today we break open Molly's candy cupboard and encounter shapeshifters, cathedrals and barber polls as we learn the truth …

Episode 442: Worcestershire Sauce

June 18th, 2020


Today we encounter hamburgers, meatloaf and beef spheres as we finally discover what cooking is. Molly plays sleuth and Matthew plays well with …

Episode 441: Chex Mix

June 11th, 2020


Today we wonder what this stuff is as we discuss school vending machines, chicken oil and the best plane snacks. Is it Bold or Just Fine? We hope you …

Episode 440: Jalapeño Chips

June 4th, 2020


Today the lag is all too real. We become the anti-twitter as we munch on jalapeño chips and discuss the relationship between snacking and writing. Tim Riggins and Matt Saracen stop by again as we discover new Elizabeth …

Episode 439: Mashed Potatoes

May 28th, 2020


Today we are doing some hard thinking about a soft subject, Mashed Po Ta Toes. Listen as we take up all sorts of mantles, polish up Gollum …

Episode 438: Spanakopita

May 21st, 2020


Today we become a Spanakopita pronunciation guide as we discuss the hovering meals of childhood and cover-ups. We learn about Molly's tailored past, …

Dire Desires: Body of Evidence

May 18th, 2020


The first episode in our new limited series podcast, Dire Desires. 

Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts to get access to the rest of Season 1. 

Join us on a journey to that most erotic of cities, Portland Oregon as …

Episode 437: Mug Cakes

May 14th, 2020


Join us as we endeavor to discover what these are, why they exist and what the kids are into these days. We discuss Dad vengeance and Sheens to eventually watch it rise before our eyes. Before we get to any of that …

Introducing Dire Desires

May 11th, 2020


Dire Desires: Life Lessons from Classic Erotic Thrillers. Coming soon from the creators of Spilled Milk.

Matthew Amster-Burton and Molly Wizenberg, …

Episode 436: Almond Extract

May 7th, 2020


Today we create a Coconut Macaroon Pact and debate going polyrhythmic as we discuss almond extract and drum circles. Molly finds a new calling while …

Episode 435: Olives

April 30th, 2020


We are coming to you from Molly's closet to chat about Greatcoats, War and Peace, and The Pelican Brief. We learn a secret from Molly's past, …

Episode 434: Moscow Mules

April 23rd, 2020


Grab your copper mugs and let's toast to Vodka Buck. We encounter tundras, cowboys and outposts to learn the real story behind Cock and Bull while …

Episode 433: Avocados

April 16th, 2020


Today we finally reveal our true selves as we discuss creamy aversions, sex robot hotlines and WAY too much botany. Take a guess on how many times we can say "climacteric" in one episode. No, it is more than that.

Episode 432: Pomona

April 9th, 2020


Welcome to our corporate retreat where we battle waves of nostalgia to find out how Matthew met WOTSL. Through library concerts, computer closets and erotic thrillers we end up at The Carnal Quad where M & M get …

Episode 431: Yeast

April 2nd, 2020


Here we are again, leavening the atmosphere and getting real nerdy. Through fiery rants, urine experiments and way too much science we endeavor to empower and demoralize per usual.


Flour Water Salt Yeast 
Yeasted …

Episode 430: Shrimp Cocktail

March 26th, 2020


Today we discuss our future retirement community orgy plan, Fanny Cradock's downfall and The Prawn Cocktail Offensive. Then we decide who gets to be the Cook of the Realm and who gets to be the hen-pecked husband. Rated …

Episode 429: Kiwifruit

March 19th, 2020


Today we meet Woody Vine and Coach Hayward as we encounter Kiwifruit and learn some botany and biology along the way. We also wonder about …

Episode 428: Mackerel

March 12th, 2020


Today we are finally having a DTR with Mackerel as we learn about Matthew's country crushes. We learn all about this literary star as we discuss oily …

Episode 427: Milano Cookies

March 5th, 2020


We brave nubbly textures and squatter bags to bring you our thoughts on The European Collection. Be warned that things start to get real macarooney …

Episode 426: Stuffed Foods

February 27th, 2020


Listen as we embrace our inner jackanapes and hope you aren't sick and tired of our antics as we discuss all manner of Stuffed Foods. We are stuffing shells, stretching strudel and roasting rats to get the perfect …

Episode 425: Korean BBQ

February 20th, 2020


Today we continue our love affair with fire and wonder why do we pay to cook our own meat? We discuss Marty McFly and manly mass we we learn about time loops and confirm that Producer Abby is, in fact,  a real person.


Episode 424: Little Debbie

February 13th, 2020


Today we aim softer and learn all about Molly's snapping skills as we taste test Little Debbie treats. We debate panning for gold, wonder where space …

Episode 423: Miso

February 6th, 2020


Today we are introducing mold and the Maillard reaction as we layer umami and Wikipedia facts to discuss Miso. With our vast knowledge of eras and …

Episode 422: Tonkatsu

January 30th, 2020


Welcome to our influenza episode where we debunk myths and deal with a plethora of cabbage as we discuss split level breading techniques, a pounding past and cats eating udon.

Pre-order The Fixed Stars

Episode 421: Lightning Round LIVE!

January 23rd, 2020


Listen as we learn about erotic textures, driftwood beds and the human tenderloin during our first Lightning Round episode. We discover the differences between splotchy and pocked, and that the best childhood …

Episode 420: The Cheese Plate

January 16th, 2020


Today we go from mild to strong, with lots of France talk and interruptions. We learn about cutting the cheese, organ grinders and jangle bangles. …

Episode 419: Fried Eggs Revisited

January 9th, 2020


To celebrate our 10th anniversary, we invite you to listen with us and laugh at us. This episode gets meta as we go down the show's Memory Lane and provide Host Commentary to our very first episode and encounter snowy …

Episode 418: Tofu

January 2nd, 2020


Today we lather up to talk Tofu, but not until we get a through big dose of FOMO. It is a long and meandering road to topic town, but we eventually get there, encountering cotton, silken and stinky varieties to get just …

Episode 417: BBQ Sauce

December 26th, 2019


Today we discuss Barbies and Arby's as we discover what the mafia has to do with BBQ sauce and why pork is like an iceberg. Matthew dispenses some dubious fatherly advice on mopping, basting and dipping this signature …

Episode 416: Alternative Chips

December 19th, 2019


Today we wonder where do we even get these ideas and are these even chips? We also lay bare our music choices, discuss the virtues of beans and …

Episode 415: Pan Pizza

December 12th, 2019


Warning: lots of moaning and crunching ahead but few laughs. Today we get into sexting secrets, board meetings and some wizard trivia as we travel pizza highways. Next stop: Detroit! New York! Sicily! Chicago! Pizza Hut!

Episode 414: Farro

December 5th, 2019


Today we are getting grooves back, eating, praying and loving all under a Tuscan sun. Listen as we attempt to learn something useful about this …

Episode 413: Ground Meat

November 28th, 2019


Today we cover too much ground (ha ha) and wonder what love tastes like and how cool our friend's moms were. After confronting tornados, glass shards …

Episode 412: Digestive Biscuits

November 21st, 2019


Today our oaten biscuits are sweet, tinny and ready to go. We discuss classic literature, beach sand and British masterpieces as we taste test …

Episode 411: Hazelnuts

November 14th, 2019


Today we meet Filbert and Kent Cobnut as we discuss the nut of the hazel. Molly invents diseases and tells us a story as we bet on the winner between …

Episode 410: Spouseless Eating 2

November 7th, 2019


Spouseless Eating is back and its bigger and better than ever. We follow our corporate bylaws as we discuss breeding plumage, throngs, droves and how …

Episode 409: Hard Seltzer

October 31st, 2019


Today we embrace our inner bro and drink from The Slender Can. We confront kids in trench coats, sexy water, oval shaped circles and hard truths. Bet you didn't think we'd be talking lobbying and tax rates on this show, …

Episode 408: Tahini

October 24th, 2019


Today we visit the most fertile of crescents and confront conspiracy theories to discuss Tahini. We are all over the place, from the renaming of …

Episode 407: Snickerdoodles

October 17th, 2019


Today we breathe life into whimsy, and note that Producer Abby will leave when she is good and ready. There are lots of notches on our bedposts and …

Episode 406: Kimchi

October 10th, 2019


We open with a flashback to episode one, and the return of Keanut as we try to follow The Molly Way. While munching on Kimchi, we discover …

Episode 405: Pocky Sticks

October 3rd, 2019


Today we battle stickbiscuits, fake maple flavoring and the patriarchy to taste Pocky Sticks. After a DTR, we learn about Adult Milk and pick our …

Episode 404: Pancetta

September 26th, 2019


For once in our lives we confront the annoyance of bacon and thundering hooves to discuss the wonder that is pancetta. We chat with Special Guest Dan Ahdoot about blanching bacon and our favorite pasta dishes as we are …

Episode 403: Ice Cream Sandwiches

September 19th, 2019


Rated: NFJ (Not For June) Today we discuss feeding different needs, cookie texture and whether we've ever been to a baseball game. Volume quirks and …

Episode 402: Camping

September 12th, 2019


Finally the episode you've all been waiting for, Matthew and Molly go Camping. Join us in the wilderness where we discuss spin-off series, down slope …

Episode 401: Chickpeas

September 5th, 2019


This week we face our fears as we discover deceptively delicious chickpeas. As we decide if the skin fits and what to do with aquafaba, we put …

Episode 400: PB&J

August 29th, 2019


Today we reach into the vault with much less pep than expected as we talk about this lunch staple and embrace our inner Don Draper. We discuss …

Episode 399: Taco Salad

August 22nd, 2019


Today we listen to the sound of nostalgia as we consume Taco Salad with (almost) all of the fixings. Molly gets morbid and yet again, brings it …

Episode 398: Seaweed Snacks

August 15th, 2019


Today we eat these salty, delicious snacks and bemoan their caloric deficiencies. We discuss methods of tantrum prevention, childhood freak-outs and …

Episode 397: Backpacking Food

August 8th, 2019


Today we embark on a field trip! All the way to REI. We become Dehydrated Gourmets as we test our limits reconstituting meals through hordes of …

Episode 396: Powdered Peanut Butter

August 1st, 2019


Today we start out and end up the same way, confused. We are either early adopters or late bloomers as we try to discover what this stuff is and why. Through mouth mortar and puberty powder we chat about Matrix themed …

Episode 395: Sourdough

July 25th, 2019


This week we introduce you to Sylvia and The Sourdough Diaries as we become starter parents and make trillions of new friends. We get really excited about Pliny the Elder as we myth bust and debunk all over the place. …

Episode 394: Pizza Delivery

July 18th, 2019


Get ready for us to crumb to life as we order a pizza live on the air, in real time. We are inspired by the robust Supreme Pizza as we discuss meal trains, slumber parties and the plights of delivery drivers as we …

Episode 393: Parmesan Cheese

July 11th, 2019


Today we embrace our identities as consistent jerks as we discuss whether what we are tasting is nutty or are we just lazy. We learn about tongue …

Episode 392: Spice Organization

July 4th, 2019


What's up dill weed? Today we try not to yuck your yum as we go through M & M's spice drawers. We learn about Matthew's annual Great Spice Purge while debating Muppets vs. Disney, and the importance of decanting. …

Episode 391: Pineapple

June 27th, 2019


Up your picnic game and church key parties with these bromeliads. Today we grow more tender as we learn about etymology and Matthew's bat biases …

Episode 390: Ridged Chips

June 20th, 2019


Today we learn that these chips are not ridged for pleasure, but for oral discomfort. We encounter alligators, crocodiles and the ice cream truck while debating who is the Big Dipper and who is the Little Dipper.

Episode 389: Pistachios

June 13th, 2019


Get ready for puberty metaphors, lawn paintings and Greek botanists because today we are talking about Pistachios. Molly disrespects the agenda and …

Episode 388: Peanut Butter Cups

June 6th, 2019


Today we reveal the unfair legacy of the Reese daughters as we discuss textural perfection, microcrackles and torture devices along with cup size preferences. Buckle up because this episode is packed with secrets, duets …

Episode 387: Quesadillas

May 30th, 2019


Today we keep it medium as we discuss yet another way to melt cheese on something. We wonder whether to start a cult and why not lunch? This is NOT …

Episode 386: Batch Cocktails

May 23rd, 2019


Today we welcome Guest Maggie Hoffman into the studio to teach us the ways of the batch cocktail. We learn that Matthew is stingy with ice, how to …

Episode 385: The Dishwasher

May 16th, 2019


Today we present the long awaited sequel to Washing Dishes, and heighten the drama with some bird watching, organ grinder monkeys and spiders. Matthew does some show-and-tell and we discover why good fences do make good …

Episode 384: Spicy Candy

May 9th, 2019


Today we go Xtreme. We swim through pools of saliva to eat hot worms, capsules and torpedoes. We learn some Spice Girls trivia, all about TRPV1, and …

Episode 383: Washing Dishes

May 2nd, 2019


Today we are good, giving and game about dish washing. We discuss racks, loads and peeing statues as we provide more tips and tricks than you can hope to handle. Sweaty hands and pet pigs make an appearance as well as …

Episode 382: White Chocolate

April 25th, 2019


We get luxurious today as we reminisce about mall cookies, mousse and cake dreams while Molly shares her smizing skills. A new product is given the …

Episode 381: Cheese Toast

April 18th, 2019


How have we missed this!? Today Wilf Chumbly introduces us to the magic that is Cheese Toast. We debate wearing barrister wigs, the merits of LARPing and where the word "rarebit" comes from all while avoiding the …

Episode 380: Pregnancy Cravings

April 11th, 2019


Today we bring you unfortunate accents, oral hygiene tips and some tales of Dorito Deficiency as we chat about pregnancy cravings. We also learn …

Episode 379: MSG

April 4th, 2019


Get ready for the Salty Superheros! Today we get super science-ey yet again as we delve into that woefully misunderstood origin of flavor, MSG. We …

Episode 378: Frozen Fruit

March 28th, 2019


Today we sample wild brick fruit at peak ripeness and return to Celestial Smoothies. We reminisce about Handsome Older Man Tony, newspaper shagging …

Episode 377: Sauerkraut

March 21st, 2019


Today we discuss that favorite of moms everywhere, Sauerkraut. We learn about hot dogs in Vegas, CRISPR and what high rollers are. Get out the turkey …

Episode 376: Cheesy Puffs

March 14th, 2019


Today we are confused but power through to find out just what cheesy puffs are. Molly remembers her history of cheese ball abuse as we discuss …

Episode 375: Savory Pancakes

March 7th, 2019


Today we go down rabbit holes to discover lots of fat and history as we munch on pancakes of the savory variety. Along the way we wonder where we got …

Episode 374: Hot Toddy

February 28th, 2019


Today we visit Warm Cocktail World to find out what kind of podcast this really is. We decide Matthew's bartending skills need some work as we …

Episode 373: Flip Yogurt

February 21st, 2019


Today we prove that we are not Car Talk by talking about sidecars, horsepower, torque and The Monkees. We find out if M & M are MFEO and learn to …

Episode 372: Oklahoma City

February 14th, 2019


We are coming to you live from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma with a love letter episode to Molly's hometown. We hit up all the most iconic spots: Borg's, …

Episode 371: Slurpees

February 7th, 2019


Field trip! Today we make our true yet invalid opinions about Slurpees known to the world. We discover M & M's birthstones and their favorite My Little Pony characters, all while battling some serious brain freeze.

Episode 370: Fried Rice

January 31st, 2019


Put on your VR helmets because it's time for Molly's annual review and to talk about confetti rice. We discuss backbone aromatics, injured fingers …

Episode 369: Mayonnaise

January 24th, 2019


Welcome to Matthew's nightmare. Today we wade through some Back to the Future trivia to bring you a live mayo demonstration and an attempt at …

Episode 368: Rotisserie Chicken

January 17th, 2019


Welcome to The Danger Zone! Neither wind nor downed telephone poles nor minor illnesses will prevent us from bringing you some Molly bait, aka …

Episode 367: Baking Chips

January 10th, 2019


Rated NFJ (Not For June)
Today we live through excessive nibbling, alien abductions and more of Molly's Willy Wonka obsession to bring you an episode …

Episode 366: Cabbage

January 3rd, 2019


Whether you boil, stuff or braise it, cabbage is a canvas. We chew into eternity as we become Cabbage Heads and discover that this beloved of brassicas will one day save us all. Get ready to ooh and ahh.


Episode 365: Mulled Wine and Cider

December 27th, 2018


Today our traffic jam of voices discusses holiday train sets, and hygge over glasses of painful wine. On our journey we encounter Hadrian's Wall, …

Episode 364: Tea Lattes

December 20th, 2018


Get out your foaming wands! Today we discover just how fun Matthew is to travel with and then we get all science-y again. We discover that anything …

Episode 363: Multi Cookers (Instant Pot)

December 13th, 2018


Today, the Rice Cooker Vigilantes confront patent trolls and scary rap to bring you lots and lots of science. We drop truths you may not be able to …

Episode 362: Bulk Bins

December 6th, 2018


Today, we are in a bulk state of mind as we discuss shrimp scoops, Amélie and our new #1 Fan. Eventually, Molly divulges her bulk section past and …

Episode 361: Risotto

November 29th, 2018


Welcome to... Risotto World! We've been given a mission and chosen to make it, blowing right through nap time in the process. This quickly devolves …

Episode 360: Cookies and Cream

November 22nd, 2018


So what if it is our second ice cream themed episode in one week? We do not have a problem so don't email us. Today we confront cookie smooshed frozen dairy desserts and ask: Are they cookie enough for us? Beware of …

Bonus: Milkshakes 2

November 19th, 2018


Welcome to Milkshakes: The Sequel. Today, we are steeped in legacy as we ponder the modern meaning of milkshake, whether you can be jealous of a high …

Episode 359: Stuffing

November 15th, 2018


Today we play Filling, Foam or Substance as we discuss that Thanksgiving staple, Stuffing. Molly vamps and Matthew fluffs as we wonder where the …

Episode 358: Chicken and Rice

November 8th, 2018


Once again, we go way too broad. Today, we discuss Chicken and Rice complete with excessive saliva and slippery lessons. Matthew discloses his …

Episode 357: Iceberg Lettuce

November 1st, 2018


Today, Julia Turshen joins us to devour and discuss Iceberg Lettuce. After a quick visit to therapy and Molly's mind's mouth, we reminisce about …

Episode 356: Meal Planning

October 25th, 2018


Have your plow and Google calendar ready, because today we are discussing Meal Planning. This is one of those episodes that may be low on comedy but …

Bonus: Kahlúa Live Show

October 22nd, 2018


Today we have a mid-afternoon cocktail hour among strangers while deciding make out session requirements, our Hogwarts House and basic rhyming …

Episode 355: Peach vs Nectarine

October 18th, 2018


Forget Rocky vs Bullwinkle. This is the showdown we've all been waiting for! Today we embark on a skinless tasting and proceed to make things way …

Episode 354: Leeks

October 11th, 2018


Grab your one euro logs and a sword, because today we are talking about Leeks. We learn about Matthew's unit price obsession and Molly's counter top …

Bonus: Kahlúa Cocktails

October 8th, 2018


Pour a glass of Kahlúa and put on a sweater, we're going on a field trip! Today we discuss the slow passage of time, fashion cycles and snapchat suspicions as we sip on Espresso Martinis. We discover America's Last Top …

Episode 353: Movie Candy

October 4th, 2018


This week, we dive into boxes of Movie Candy while Matthew chickens out. Our intrepid hosts suffer bruised tongues and Red Vine abuse while chatting crushes, clammy hands and sexy librarians. Producer Abby strikes …

Episode 352: Nectarines

September 27th, 2018


Trichomes, botany and provocative questions must mean we are talking about some very special stone fruit. Nectarines, though clingy and aged, are …

Episode 351: Shokupan

September 20th, 2018


This week we are a podcast for listening as we discuss Shokupan, the eraserbread. Bread cheeks, heels and ears all make an appearance along with some star making reenactments. Finally, we uncover a secret pastry brush …

Episode 350: Jello Cakes

September 13th, 2018


Today we go way down Memory Lane Rabbit Hole and end up at The Junior League as we eat the Jello Cake of Molly's childhood. We encounter Mr Bob and …

Episode 349: Margaritas

September 6th, 2018


This was all Producer Abby's idea. Unless you hate this episode, in which case she had nothing to do with it and actually advised against it. Let it be known that Margaritas may cause excessive licking, splinter …

Episode 348: Ice Cream Cones

August 30th, 2018


Today we taste Ice Cream Cones and immediately become lunge feeders. Dive deep with us for some teaching moments as we tackle cone fears, scotch drops and nature's napkin. It takes some tongue coaxing but eventually …

Episode 347: Non-Stick Ice Cream Treats

August 23rd, 2018


Today, Matthew shocks and Molly rants as we discover too much of a good thing can be hazardous. We attempt to make meaningful contributions to …

Episode 346: BLTs

August 16th, 2018


Hey bae, we need a lot of help today. We learn the merits of abbreviations as we discuss that descendant of the club sandwich, the BLT. Topics such as tomato baths and mayonnaise glops are fair game as well as silver …

Episode 345: Refried Beans

August 9th, 2018


We take a long meandering journey down Memory Lane as we discuss Refried Beans and measure coolness levels with Scorn and Envy. We learn the perils …

Episode 344: Cinnamon Rolls

August 2nd, 2018


Welcome to The Nordic Connection, where we bed and incubate bressert with the help of Molly's tour guide "skills". While discussing Cinnamon Roll …

Episode 343: Crudités

July 26th, 2018


Today we skip the dip and dive straight into Hypothetical Vegetable Grammar with a side of dusty radishes. We get philosophical and sporty while …

Episode 342: Halva

July 19th, 2018


Welcome to language hour where we encounter some funky Dad stuff, Matthew's secret pottery dreams and Good King Henry. Our vocabulary is off the …

Episode 341: Corn on the Cob

July 12th, 2018


Today we dive into danger with that classic conversation starter, Corn on the Cob. We are still in the milk stage as we fight against the Niblet Nabber with butter pats and Silver Spoons. But wait! The dreaded Butter …

Episode 340: Cool Whip

July 5th, 2018


Today we devour that stone cold classic, de-emulsed edible spackle also known as Cool Whip. Pre-funk with us as we Co-host Greatly to decide if this …

Episode 339: Try My Casserole

June 28th, 2018


Today we are a couple of hot dishes talking starchy binders and gloopy soups. We discover Molly's lack of hospitality skills and a cute attempt at …

Episode 338: Still Water

June 21st, 2018


Today we embrace the stillness and immediately a fight breaks out. Using panda voices and pH levels, we consume multitudes to find hydration you can …

Episode 337: Dutch Baby

June 14th, 2018


Today our topic is the Dutch Baby, though you'd be forgiven for forgetting that once we get started. This episode is overflowing with nonsense: indecent proposals, minivans of children and celestial masterpieces are …

Episode 336: Pringles

June 7th, 2018


Saddle up your tongue because today we are discussing Hyperbolic Paraboloid Potato Crisps, the ultimate way recharge your busy day. Are they chips? …

Episode 335: Scallions

May 31st, 2018


Today we discuss The Unsung Aromatic, scallions. When we aren't accidentally liquefying them, we find that these alliums are pretty inoffensive …

Episode 334: Goldfish Crackers

May 24th, 2018


Luxury grocery stores, complete with fireplaces and suits of armor, lead us to FrankenMolly, Monte Carlo and eventually to Goldfish. We discuss the …

Episode 333: Coffeecake

May 17th, 2018


Good morning! Or afternoon. Or tea time. We give up, when do you eat Coffeecake? After some DJ speculation and nubby streusel stripes we decide that …

Episode 332: Turnips

May 10th, 2018


Today we wonder if turnips are perfect and who told who to shut up. Then we turn up the funk, get assertive and launch the Cutest Vegetable Pageant. …

Episode 331: Coconut Oil

May 3rd, 2018


We are 7 years out of date, per usual, but are finally talking Coconut Oil. Is this blast from the past the other white meat? Can our hosts survive through residue dread, mouth mayo and a dramatic on-air argument? Who …

Episode 330: Crumpets

April 26th, 2018


Today, through the magic of bubbly topped crumpets, we learn linguistics, history, musical theater, and pillow philosophy. Note how often our self-proclaimed "musical averse" hosts break into song for no apparent …

Episode 329: Tang

April 19th, 2018


Today we consume quarts of Tang while debating the best snack to demo for young whippersnappers: banana slicing or cutting the cheese? We discover …

Episode 328: Ravioli

April 12th, 2018


Straight from your friend's freezer case, today we present Mouth Pillows. We wish for a robot chef or at least a nonna while debating whether this is really just a dumpling by another name. Don't you worry, of course …

Episode 327: Frosting

April 5th, 2018


Today, we are slippery and unstable as we discuss Frosting in all its weepy glory. We reminisce over rosettes, butt milk and our empathy for electronics. Are you a corner or middle slice person? Or do you take after …

Episode 326: Thai Curry

March 29th, 2018


Today the rhizome of podcasts discusses the second best food in the world, thai curries. As we lament our lack of mortar and pestling skills, we wonder where Whoopie went and which Swayze is best. This episode is …

Episode 325: Mountain Dew

March 22nd, 2018


Today we taste what is possibly the world's most dangerous drink, Mountain Dew. We discover how a soft drink is like a dating app and the job opportunities for a Soda Sommelier. Trigger warning for any listening Sour …

Episode 324: Breakfast for Dinner

March 15th, 2018


Today we wade through traumatic children's literature and a research rabbit hole to bring you Brinner. While debating just throwing an egg on it and …

Episode 323: Kombucha

March 8th, 2018


Welcome to The Booch where we simultaneously risk death and health to discuss that effervescent dream drink of hipsters everywhere, Kombucha. We chat …

Episode 322: Chamomile Tea

March 1st, 2018


Today we are bullish and apocalyptic while discussing the most calming of teas, chamomile. We learn about Molly's mortal fear of caffeine, her …

Episode 321: Handheld Meat Pies

February 22nd, 2018


Today we (very carefully) taste molten meat inside flaky crusts and diagnose Meat Hand Syndrome while Molly gives us another signature Hot Take. …

Episode 320: Omelettes

February 15th, 2018


This episode was 7 years in the making. Today we dive deep into this Dad food staple finding that a little cheese goes a long way. After some …

Episode 319: Fruit Curd

February 8th, 2018


In between knife-fulls of Sprite curd, we debate jam vs. curd vs. marmalade while going on some seriously weird tangents. We also crown a superior …

Episode 318: Corn Tortillas

February 1st, 2018


Welcome to another episode of Science, Death and Sex Moves. Today we learn all sorts of new words, some insights into the joys of parenting, and what …

Episode 317: Arnold Palmer

January 25th, 2018


Babe, join us here at the country club for a refreshing glass of Arnold Palmer after a strenuous game of golf. Or tennis. Or just anytime not in …

Episode 316: Pasta Widths

January 18th, 2018


We pretty much want to bathe in pasta, whether its extruded, cranked or dyed. Today we learn about Matthew's angelic past, Molly's preferred ribbon …

Episode 315: Breath Mints

January 11th, 2018


Within these four mouth walls, we break dance and break resolutions as we torture our tongues with breath mints. With Mouth Ghosts and Eye Goblins …

Episode 314: Mussels

January 4th, 2018


We continue to exude class today as we lunch on mussels. Adorned in mother of pearl and beards, we learn what it means to adult and what treasures …

Episode 313: Scallops

December 28th, 2017


Today, we quickly become full of existential angst as we learn way too much about Scallops. Discover how delicate an ecosystem this episode is with …

Episode 312: Gingerbread Cookies

December 21st, 2017


Ready for 26 minutes in heaven? Listen as we discuss nameless humanoid baked goods both snappy and biting. We also play Guess the Cookie Cutter Shape …

Episode 311: Canned Cold Brew

December 14th, 2017


Look at us drinking the trendiest thing in caffeinated beverages! Coffee, steeped long, hard, and cold. We wonder how many sips are too many sips, …

Episode 310: French Fry Shapes

December 7th, 2017


Today Matthew and Molly encounter Curly, Shoestring, Steak and Crinkle all from the comfort of home! Fibonacci and the Golden ratio make cameo …

Episode 309: Vietnamese Junk Food

November 30th, 2017


Thanks to Listener Doctor Helena, we embark on a flavor journey that starts in joy and ends in tears. We keep it tight while encountering pleasing packaging and the taste of teacups. Finally, we attempt to answer the …

Episode 308: Pop Tarts

November 23rd, 2017


We may get off to a rocky start, but as Molly presents her treatise on Pop Tarts, things start to fire up. We learn about the origins of breakfast …

Episode 307: Bagels

November 16th, 2017


Coming at you hot today to discuss yeasty dough rings. We learn about Matthew's hero complex and the merits of boiling, and encounter some very …

Episode 306: Tokyo

November 9th, 2017


Today Matthew and Molly take Tokyo! We are turning strangers into friends as we discuss creamy heads, extravagant delis and squid legs all the while …

Episode 305: Roast Chicken

November 2nd, 2017


Roast Chicken, it's not us, it's you. We're only in love with the idea of you. Today we realize our alien tendencies as we broach our feelings of inadequacy regarding these deeply burnished birds. Do you truss us?

Episode 304: Lentils

October 26th, 2017


Welcome to The Laird of the Lentils: Super Tender Potential Edition. Today we reminisce about insufferable grandfathers and lovely advisors while …

Episode 303: Molasses Cookies

October 19th, 2017


Get out those index cards and red string to prep for the holidays. Today we dive into the ol' holiday cookie tin for a taxonomy lesson and find out a …

Episode 302: Stinky Cheese

October 12th, 2017


Professor Molly teaches Student Matthew all about washed rind cheeses through cheese guns, rind bravery and cautionary tales. Blooming and ripe, we …

Episode 301: Watermelon

October 5th, 2017


How many podcast hosts does it take to slice a watermelon? We nerd out big time while discussing seed spitting, thumping techniques and ball conundrums while running into juicy troubles.

Episode 300: Bibimbap

September 28th, 2017


We've finally made it to 300 episodes, so are celebrating with Bibimbap and then maybe some brown diamonds. We sing about rice and the Facts of Life (again) while learning about hot stone bowls and experiments in …

Episode 299: Animal Crackers

September 21st, 2017


Follow the Animal Cracker trail down memory lane into the Red Carpeted Love Dungeon, which may be located in a parallel universe. We discuss string …

Episode 298: Sorbet

September 14th, 2017


Wait! Before summer ends, we need to talk about Sorbet. Get ready for a palate cleanser and a history lesson. We gild our memories a bit, plan yet another retreat and get excited about ritualized transactions while …

Episode 297: Frozen Chicken Pot Pie

September 7th, 2017


This week we tackle molten lava aka Chicken Pot Pie. We wonder where the pot comes in, the appeal of crusty stew and address Matthew's broken …

Episode 296: Coconut Milk

August 31st, 2017


Welcome to the Red-Carpeted Love Dungeon! Alice navigates an obstacle course of cords as Matthew and Molly taste coconut milk and encounter Big Bird …

Episode 295: Boxed Mac and Cheese

August 24th, 2017


Straight from hell, we are Forever Friends who are desperate for some wind beneath our wings. As a cure for our heat wave, we decide to do some …

Episode 294: Baby Snacks

August 17th, 2017


Make sure you are seated in an upright position while listening to this episode. We travel way way down memory lane as we discuss the vital importance of Cheerios and the merits of clear packaging. After a quick return …

Episode 293: Swiss Junk Food

August 10th, 2017


Today we are strangers in a strange box, this time of the Swiss variety. We narrowly avoid horse dental emergencies to explore mountains of chocolate …

Episode 292: Bloody Marys

August 3rd, 2017


Cheers! Today your out of the know hosts practice extreme ambivalence. But first, some affirmations and explorations from Mother of the Show, Judy. We then discuss friendly ghost stories and rank our favorite food …

Episode 291: Breakfast Sausage

July 27th, 2017


The law offices of Link, Patty and Chub invite you to The Sausage Report. We tackle the most important meal of the day while discussing the lyrics of …

Episode 290: Kid Snacks

July 20th, 2017


Aural and Oral here coming to you live with cereal snacking adventures. Today, we go from teddies to goldfish to bunnies to discover the truth behind …

Episode 289: Hawaiian Junk Food

July 13th, 2017


In which we happily accept a nonthreatening box of Hawaiian Junk Food, working through excessive grinding and sawing to get to the Creem Crackers and chubbies inside. Learning nipple care tips and the actual flavor of …

Episode 288: Tomato Juice

July 6th, 2017


Pardon our dust as we discuss Tomato juice, whether it resides in large cans or in dump buckets. Through flume rides, sing-a-longs and soldier ants …

Episode 287: Black Tea

June 29th, 2017


Excessive slurping ahead. Matthew schools us on tea leaves, buying a zoo and what to do with PG Tips while Lil ol' Molly offends absolutely no one. …

Episode 286: Crisps and Crumbles

June 22nd, 2017


Beware the Crumbling! No we will not discuss grunts, slumps or buckles today, but we will discuss discrete nubs, butter rubbing and Def Leppard. Note: This episode will also serve as our audition reel for America's Got …

Episode 285: Chicken Wings LIVE!

June 15th, 2017


Technical difficulties notwithstanding, we wish you all a Happy Mount St. Helens Day! To celebrate, we take a field trip to that Narnia of …

Episode 284: Dinner Rolls

June 8th, 2017


We're hot for the summer and devouring way more Dinner Rolls than the suggested serving size. We wonder what to pair with butt rolls, what the movie …

Episode 283: Vanilla Extract

June 1st, 2017


Today we learn about all the forms Vanilla can take; paste, sugar, salt and wood pulp. We also learn about base notes and top notes, smelling as sad …

Episode 282: Arugula

May 25th, 2017


Welcome to the Exceptional Food and Comedy Experience for Your Ears. Today we work through mispronunciations, automatans and duo dental emergencies …

Episode 281: Toffee

May 18th, 2017


Grab your hammers because today we are talking Toffee. Molly encounters her first Heath bar, which (spoiler alert) does not go well. We also learn a …

Episode 280: Sausage

May 11th, 2017


Today we get real about food, within or without you. Playing sausage roulette leads to fennel surprises, thoughts on what makes us human and our best …

Episode 279: Hot Pockets

May 4th, 2017


Well, these aren't the worst things we've ever eaten. Today, we nuke some doughy, toasty "sandwiches" filled with lava, giving Molly yet another …

Episode 278: Enchiladas

April 27th, 2017


Bear with our vocal fry and upspeak as we discuss the king of casseroles, Enchiladas. We talk impregnating tortillas, our spin-off show "Cool …

Episode 277: Brown Rice

April 20th, 2017


No one has ever been happier to spread their thoughts on brown rice and children's tv shows. Opposites attract as we use context clues to wax poetic about health vs. taste, Daniel Tiger vs. Peppa Pig and the jackasses …

Episode 276: Radicchio

April 13th, 2017


Radiculous Radicchio! Beware the excessive Italian accents and the actual food knowledge that may be imparted in this episode. We wade through the …

Episode 275: Gas Station Candy

April 6th, 2017


After last week's meat piles, it is now time for dessert which comes from the check out aisle of a gas station. We are judging candies by their wrappers, checking out big hunks and babe bait and vow to never look inside …

Episode 274: Bolognese

March 30th, 2017


We are tasting Bolognese today in all its meaty and long simmering glory. Throughout the journey of today's episode we get stumped by pasta shapes, …

Episode 273: Parsley

March 23rd, 2017


Spilled Milk presents The Taking of Parsley: Curly vs. Flat. Today we wonder whether these little green leaves are more than just a garnish and if curly spinach exists. We also are finally ready to live our best life …

Episode 272: TV Dinners

March 16th, 2017


Expectorate Petroleum! Today we power through husky voices and bleeding lips to judge TV Dinners for your hearing pleasure. Canned corn, soupy rice …

Episode 271: Summer Berries LIVE!

March 9th, 2017


You know you've made it when you do a comedy show at a museum. Though our topics are Summer Berries and Airplane Parts, our conversation veers from crockpots to muffin tops to esters and Oklahoma History. We discover …

Episode 270: Root Beer

March 2nd, 2017


We sniff your Root Beer! We sniff it up, but draw the line at your lips. Today we taste a soda lineup and discover hints of sassafras, sarsaparilla and wintergreen with a couple of nostalgic twinges along the way. Oh, …

Episode 269: Polenta

February 23rd, 2017


We are playing Tubes and Chubs today. Keep your mind out of the gutter, we are talking about Polenta! We assign our listeners a bunch of homework …

Episode 268: Tater Tots

February 16th, 2017


Wake up! Hide your mom! Tater Tots are the order of the day, along with dog collars, teenage rebellions, ugly foods and interplanetary travel. We may …

Episode 267: Chard

February 9th, 2017


Do you know a plant called chard? Well, we are finally caving to popular demand that we talk about it. While we chomp on chard, we chat about ribs …

Episode 266: Ice Cream Soda

February 2nd, 2017


Today is an emotional roller coaster of sodas, floats and soapy heads which quickly devolves into baby talk. There are ups and downs, with carbonated …

Episode 265: Flavored Sparkling Water

January 26th, 2017


We are firing it up with Flavored Sparkling Waters today! But let's be real people, it is all La Croix all the time. We get severely over-hydrated sipping liquid potpourri as we sporadically break into song, jog in …

Episode 264: Mandarin Oranges

January 19th, 2017


We venture back to our botanical roots while peeling cuties, clementines and pixies. We find thumb holes in thin skinned, pithless, refrigerated …

Episode 263: Pomegranates

January 12th, 2017


Today's To Do list: whacking, excavating and pegging pomegranates. Also, a taxonomy, vocabulary and mythology lesson to determine if our sarcotesta …

Episode 262: Olive Oil

January 5th, 2017


Warning: this is one of those episodes where we know nothing and end up practically where we started. We chat extra virgins, discover ripeness levels …

Episode 261: Dim Sum

December 29th, 2016


Today we are chasing carts and chatting Dim Sum, with a slight detour to sing praises for Toronto's International Airport. Utter madness ensues as …

Episode 260: Applesauce

December 22nd, 2016


Hey, we've got the Motts! Molly and Matthew snack on applesauce while recording internationally and discuss their respective Canadian Justin crushes: …

Episode 259: Icelandic Junk Food

December 15th, 2016


In memory of Listener Erin Today we butcher another language, and this time its Icelandic. Matthew tells us his Icelandic Saga, while Molly makes a …

Episode 258: Stuff on Crackers

December 8th, 2016


Wife/Listener Laurie suggested "suggestions", so welcome to our first episode based off of pictures on a cracker box. Join us as we put on the Ritz while learning shapes of Sociables and just how much a Triscuit can …

Episode 257: Holiday Parties LIVE!

December 1st, 2016


Today we are bringing you happiness and cheer, like Hanukkah Harry. It is our first club show and we use this game changing experience to audition …

Episode 256: Holiday Cookies

November 24th, 2016


T'was the day of Thanksgiving, and all through the episode Sunny D and Hi-C chatted afternoon delight. Quickies, sleeping habits and cheesy mitts …

Episode 255: Lemon Bars

November 17th, 2016


Through f*** tons of lemons we debate squares vs. bars vs. trapezoids vs. rhombuses. Eggs nuts and jello help us decipher these treats from top to …

Episode 254: French Fries

November 10th, 2016


Curly and waffle and matchstick and steak. Happy boxes and soffits and horses' flanks. These are a few of our favorite things. When the fly bites! …

Episode 253: South African Junk Food

November 3rd, 2016


This. Is. Living! We were gifted a box of South African goodies and encountered the paradox of revoltingly addictive treats. Learn the limits of …

Episode 252: Peppercorns

October 27th, 2016


Cracked or ground? Today we've got a peppercorn to grind while we discuss Italian playboys, pink poison and Sprockets. We wonder if pepper mill size matters and why salt just isn't enough. Note: "Let it Go" trigger …

Episode 251: Baked Beans

October 20th, 2016


Stand by us as we make announcements, eat fake baked beans and discuss the merits of bush doctors. Yes, there are some "Yes And" fails, yes there are American History fails, but there is also sugar and spice and more …

Episode 250: Rolling Pins

October 13th, 2016


We are giving this a whole utensil thing a whirl. Who knew that Rolling Pins brought out the sexy in us? We whack, feel and roll while discussing …

Episode 249: Cinnamon

October 6th, 2016


Welcome to our Black Crowes podcast, where we can't remember our favorite Black Crowes song but can name a couple of Lenny Kravitz ones. Through light dustings of cinnamon we reminisce about the smells of our youth, …

Episode 248: Peanut Butter Cookies

September 29th, 2016


In this episode you'll be forced to endure Cookie Monster impressions, mud baths, airborne toxic events and the occasional Peanut Butter Cookie. We invent an equation for sadness, discuss the merits of mental spa …

Episode 247: Espresso Drinks

September 22nd, 2016


11/6 Live Show

We are high on caffeine and feeling foyne. But only before 1 pm as we can't drink elongated java joe after that. Matthew tries a Sparkle Pony while mapping Oklahoma City and eventually they both end up …

Episode 246: Ice Cream Toppings LIVE!

September 15th, 2016


This episode was recorded in front of a live studio audience with our hosts tasting Ice Cream Toppings, but no ice cream. We learn about Molly's …

Episode 245: S'Mores

September 8th, 2016


We revert back to our childhoods yet again as we set up camp in Matthew's living room to devour S'mores. We wonder if Oprah glamps, go meteor hunting …

Episode 244: Danish Junk Food

September 1st, 2016


Today we butcher the Danish language while sampling it's delicacies. We also encounter Molly's nemesis and her mouth's beloved all in one episode. …

Episode 243: Chewy Fruit Candy

August 25th, 2016


WARNING: if you have sensitivity to slurping or excessive moaning turn back now. Today we tackle Chewy Fruit Candies, and Molly gets way too excited. …

Episode 242: Pesto

August 18th, 2016


Live Show September 3, 2016 in Seattle 

We Pesto boyz are traveling back to the 80s yet again, this time to taste an herby, garlicky topping. Matthew's fashion is critiqued and duets abound as we talk garlic skepticism …

Episode 241: Cream Cheese

August 11th, 2016


September 3rd Live Show in Seattle at Pocket Theater


Can you believe Matthew has never eaten a bagel with cream cheese? Well, today we remedy that …

Episode 240: New Zealand Junk Food

August 4th, 2016


Honey, we went to New Zealand and learned some new things about candy physics. Did you know they spray, bounce and lump!? Along the way, your real …

Episode 239: Beets

July 28th, 2016


This week we visit those relics of the 90s, those partners of goat cheese, Beets. Molly's catering past comes to light as well as some shameful …

Episode 238: Teriyaki (Sponsored by Soy Vay)

July 26th, 2016


This entire episode is sponsored by Soy Vay.

Soy Vay came to us. They said, "Hey, would you do a whole episode about teriyaki and talk about our …

Episode 237: Lima Beans

July 21st, 2016


So apparently we have a very special relationship with Lima Beans, those tender and creamy villains of our childhoods. We prank chefs, spontaneously …

Episode 236: Flour Tortillas

July 14th, 2016


Holy Quesadillas! We are triangulating the coordinates to Flatbread Alley and choosing the Flour Tortilla path. Now, Matthew is no scientist and …

Episode 235: Sangria

July 7th, 2016


Today a couple of amusingly inquisitive lightweights gulp down fruit punch for grown ups, also known as Sangria. Hold on to your bedknobs as we …

Episode 234: Breadcrumbs

June 30th, 2016


Whether they be fine or coarse, pillowy or electrocuted, Breadcrumbs' capacity for crispiness will elevate any dish. Molly and Matthew follow their …

Episode 233: Deep South Convenience Store Staples

June 23rd, 2016


We were given our most luxurious box of junk food yet! This time the packaged snacks come from the convenience stores of the Deep South. Join us as we discuss swamp dreams, peat bog burials and the benefits of a good …

Episode 232: Pudding Cups

June 16th, 2016


This week we are blasting and hot taking our way through Puddin Cups. We attempt some musical numbers, profess jiggly preferences and assemble the perfect gift for the newly single friend in your life. EXPLICIT.

Episode 231: Hummus

June 9th, 2016


Beware the creaky chair and the hummus overdose! Today we go all out hippie and taste different types of hummi so grab your pitas, gang mates and …

Episode 230: Vinegar Part 2

June 2nd, 2016


Previously on Spilled Milk, we chatted acidic juice and - spoiler alert - we continue this riveting storyline here. We take a jaunt through the 80s, …

Episode 229: Vinegar Part 1

May 26th, 2016


Today we become quite educational, throwing around words like ethanol and acetic acid. We suffer from excessive alliteration while tasting the Mother …

Episode 228: Oreos

May 19th, 2016


Our love for perfectly engineered food products is known far and wide. Today we indulge in yet another feat of edible engineering, stacks and stacks …

Episode 227: Fruit Salad

May 12th, 2016


Welcome to California History 101 where we attempt to define the enigma that is fruit salad. We reminisce about tender upbringings and reveal our fear of slimy bananas. Learn unique juicing techniques and catch a sneak …

Episode 226: Frozen Burritos

May 5th, 2016


Dr. Matthew, MD goes down memory lane while Molly tries something new, yet again. We meet up with Tina and Amy while wondering just what is textured …

Episode 225: Cough Drops

April 28th, 2016


From lozenges to lollipops, today we are discussing Cough Drops. We traverse basement lairs and state fairs to find out if these flavored …

Episode 224: The 420 Episode

April 21st, 2016


Today is the day we seasoned stoners traipse out to the dumpster and finally join the cool kids. We google 'how to use a weed pipe' and encounter far …

Episode 223: Live Show: Almonds

April 14th, 2016


What happened in California, did not stay in California. Behold our first "on the go" live show! We made it to LA where we decided to chat about …

Episode 222: Taiwanese Junk Food

April 7th, 2016



Its been a while since we've eaten abroad so today we are plowing through excessive information and inaccurate cartoons to bring you our opinions …

Episode 221: Canned Beans

March 31st, 2016


Mark our words, canned beans are no laughing matter. From kidneys to cowboys, whipped liquid to a juicy Cafeteria Expose we discover the perfect dinner party size while faking and baking. EXPLICIT.

Episode 220: Frozen Pizza

March 24th, 2016


Today Molly and Matthew meet Celeste, the champion of solo, intimate nights who has been heating up your grocer’s freezer case. We learn that some …

Episode 219: Ham and Cheese

March 17th, 2016


Actually "Ham and Cheese" since you'd be hard pressed to find an actual mention of ham or cheese here. Instead feast your ears upon poetry filled …

Episode 218: Packaged Cheese

March 10th, 2016


Today we taste test extra processed mini dairy products to see if they live up to our childhood memories, whether said memories are real or not. We have some intimate unwrapping adventures, discuss a new invention and …

Episode 217: Cauliflower

March 3rd, 2016


Oh cauliflower let us count the ways we love you: roasted... and roasted. Matthew has prepared an heirloom produce quiz which causes quite an outrage …

Episode 216: Biscuits

February 25th, 2016


We don’t let defective cans get in the way of tender, flaky, buttery biscuits. Sure, this episode contains a whole lot of unnecessary alliteration …

Episode 215: Croutons

February 18th, 2016


Wondering what all the hubbub is about? Well, tune in to “Making a Crouton” where we venture outside the salad bar to investigate The Case of the Impossible Bread Stabbing. We crunch through soups, salads and rejections …

Episode 214: Garlic Bread

February 11th, 2016


Here at Spilled Milk our sole purpose is to spark joy for our brave listeners. Therefore, we are eating a whole lot of gooey, yet somehow crispy, …

Episode 213: Raisins

February 4th, 2016


Today we are tasting those masters of the sneak attack, Raisins. We play a new game entitled, "Raisin or Rancid?" while reminiscing about little red boxes, spackling and GORP. Things get serious when we bring up dark …

Episode 212: Kale

January 28th, 2016


Well, we've avoided being trendy long enough and are now finally ready to tackle the most beloved and massaged of all greens, Kale. We discover the …

Episode 211: Sick Food

January 21st, 2016


We are on a roll with gross out episodes, returning this week with Sick Food. We learn about Matthew's mouth problems and Molly's vanilla tendencies …

Episode 210: Housekeeping

January 14th, 2016


Be warned, this could be our grossest episode yet, and contains no chewing at all. Today Molly and Matthew tell us about childhood chores, hospital …

Episode 209: Lamb

January 7th, 2016


Welcome to your favorite ol' podcast where we are embracing fatty fears to devour some lamb. We choose to forgo the mint jelly and focus on racks and …

Episode 208: Alternative Milks

December 31st, 2015


Today we brave Alternative Milks, where no udders are necessary. While sipping lame lattes, we dream of rice and decide everything tastes better in a nut bag. We make a New Years Pledge, reminisce about dating vegans, …

Episode 207: Leftovers

December 24th, 2015


Molly channels Bob Brennan as she tried to convince Matthew to love leftovers as much as she does, which is a whole lot. Yes, we do indeed encounter …

Episode 206: Mexican Junk Food

December 17th, 2015


Today we are chowing through a hand delivered box of Mexican Junk Food where we venture past fried bones to taste that sweet after burn of chili. We, as citizens of the world, feel compelled to bring you the truth, …

Episode 205: Dates

December 10th, 2015


Welcome to our Date Show! We barely make it through the Arsenic Hour while discussing painted scones, hot tubs full of yogurt and of course, Tinder …

Episode 204: Cold Cuts

December 3rd, 2015


Today we take a pass at the deli counter for some choice selections of Cold Cuts, and encounter what may become Matthew's worst nightmare: the …

Episode 203: Care Packages

November 26th, 2015


Today we are all lace and banana bread as we meander down memory lane to visit the Care Packages of our youth. We visit colleges, camps and Molly's …

Episode 202: Cheesecake

November 19th, 2015


What better way to consume cheese, than in cake form? We travel down memory lane and eat sour cream topped cakes while chatting water baths, cake cracks, evil furbies and whatever happened to Tom and Jerry. There may …

Episode 201: Pickles

November 12th, 2015


Today's episode is fraught with danger as Molly and Matthew confront these briny beasts and the cold case of the Pickle Fork. They travel down memory …

Episode 200: Meatloaf

November 5th, 2015


Welcome to the most educational Spilled Milk episode you'll ever hear. We welcome J. Kenji Lopez-Alt and his magnificent meatloaf while he spins tales of luxurious band camps, coed fraternities, and three-meat mixtures. …

Episode 199: Cocoa Nibs

October 29th, 2015


Whether you say cacao nibs or cocoa nibs, today we show you a "different side of chocolate". Our episode is indebted to Alice Medrich and her genius …

Episode 198: Grapes

October 22nd, 2015


Today it would seem that any topic is fair game from farming conditions and grecian urn fetishes to snot pockets and otter's dietary habits. Grapes …

Episode 197: Sesame

October 15th, 2015


Infinitely Long and Exceptionally Silly. Today we open Sesame, rejecting the sweet to concentrate on the savory. Whether unhulled, re-hulled or …

Episode 196: Microwaves

October 8th, 2015


It's light, it's quick, it's easy, it's Spilled Milk! Today we discuss our love and ambivalence for that bulky kitchen appliance, the Microwave. Our …

Episode 195: Norwegian Junk Food

October 1st, 2015


We're bringing junk food back, Norwegian style. These Scandinavian treats bring delight and horror to our intrepid hosts who brave lompers, hair care …

Episode 194: Lasagna

September 24th, 2015


You say ri-cahhh-ta, Molly says ri-cohh-tta. Today we look beyond Stouffer's, fangirl over Lynn Rossetto Kasper and chat cheese beds while diving …

Episode 193: Melons

September 17th, 2015


Today we find out just how many innuendos can we fit into 20 minutes. With much slusching, we chat naturally perfumed melons and Molly's stealing …

Episode 192: Natural Waters

September 10th, 2015


Spilled Milk: Bottled at the Source. Today we are tasting Natural Waters, purified, filtered and flavorized with no machete necessary. Please note …

Episode 191: Peaches

September 3rd, 2015


It took 190 episodes for Matthew to find a peach that can live up to his exacting standards. Today we take a variety quiz, talk peach butts and …

Episode 190: Ginger Drinks

August 27th, 2015


Always fresh, always unfiltered. With frosty copper mugs in hand we consume ales and beers of the ginger variety. We learn about Molly's McDonald's …

Episode 189: Jell-O

August 20th, 2015


Get ready for a whole lot of jiggling and gelling. Matthew confronts his traumatizing past with Jello-O shots while Molly debates American Gladiator …

Bonus episode: Fro-yo

August 17th, 2015


What’s the deal with Frozen Yogurt? Once again, we get stuck in the past as we discuss whether fro-yo is just topping deep or is it actually more …

Episode 188: Blueberries

August 13th, 2015


Today, blueberries are gracing us with their presence, much as we are gracing your eardrums. Whoever said chivalry was dead hasn't met Matthew Amster-Burton, who always give fair warning when throwing garbage out the …

Episode 187: Ginger

August 6th, 2015


Today we are spicy, fresh and chatting about ginger. We may not stay totally on topic but we do get another chance to show off our poetry prowess. …

Episode 186: Fruit Punch

July 30th, 2015


No punch bowls or ice rings here. We are using straws, boxes and communal vessels. Though she's had a few bad experiences with Fruit Punch in the …

Episode 185: Heat Wave

July 23rd, 2015


The heat is literally frying/melting/murdering our brains so please accept our pre-emptive apology for the rambling nonsense in this episode. While …

Episode 184: Strawberries

July 16th, 2015


Summer gifts us with glorious strawberries so we are gifting you with an heirloom variety quiz. We chat strawberries whether they be raw, cooked, …

Episode 183: Banana Bread

July 9th, 2015


With more straddling and mashing than necessary, we present you with Banana Bread. Sure what the freezer does to a banana is unspeakable, but we go there. For the listeners. Through speckles, mush, chunks and MILFs, …

Episode 182: Picnic

July 2nd, 2015


Recording live from the wilderness where we get traumatized by the outdoors and beverage laws while on our Picnic. We discuss food temperatures and transportation, celebrity guests and encounter more bugs than any other …

Episode 181: Energy Bars

June 25th, 2015


As usual we are always trend following and never trend setting. We brought you energy drinks, so now its time for Energy Bars. We wonder why you'd …

Episode 180: Nachos

June 18th, 2015


The listeners spoke and... we didn't really listen. Today we address the best and worst of crispy, cheese soaked Nachos. Toppings, cheese ratios, …

Episode 179: Hot Sauce

June 11th, 2015


The things we do for this show. Today we sacrifice our tongues as we travel down Hot Sauce Alley where the conversation quickly turns morbid. Matthew …

Episode 178: Pudding

June 4th, 2015


The stakes have never been higher as M & M examine American puddings, not to be confused with British puds. This indefinable substance grows a …

Episode 177: Nut Butters

May 28th, 2015


Today we stir and taste non-peanut Nut Butters. Listen to scintillating conversation regarding almond butter phases during college, grease vs. sludge …

Episode 176: Soy Sauce

May 21st, 2015


After 175 episodes, we have finally selected our ideal chopsticks and feel ready to tackle Soy Sauce. We chat X-Files, cartoons, fairy tales and feigning interest while drowning our rice in The Black Ooze. Will we or …

Episode 175: Indian Junk Food

May 14th, 2015


Yes, we were given yet another box of foreign goodies submitted for our pleasure and judgement. Indian Junk Food is super classy although its looks, taste and smell don't always exactly align. This is a seriously bangin …

Episode 174: Brown Butter

May 7th, 2015



For optimal results, your cohosts recommend bathing and basting yourself in the sizzling slurry of deliciousness that is brown butter. Be sure to …

Episode 173: Sack Lunch LIVE!

April 30th, 2015


Journey into the minds of geniuses as Pat Benatar and Kenny Loggins present an ode to childhood. We packed each other a meal filled with goodies from …

Episode 172: Breakfast Pastries

April 23rd, 2015


As grown ups, we can eat whatever we want for breakfast. Today we grab some brooding breakfast desserts from the shelf where they have lived for who knows how long. Cake nuggets, waves of powdered sugar and sweaty glaze …

Episode 171: Shallots

April 16th, 2015


This Sunday is our live show! Get your tickets here!

With mouths afire we unveil the many layers of onion's little sibling, the shallot. We discuss this sexiest of alliums in the raw, fried, pickled and crisped along …

Episode 170: Korean Junk Food

April 9th, 2015


Still tickets available for our live show on April 19th in Seattle! 


Once again, a box of foreign delights has landed on our table, ergo we are forced to partake and pass judgement. This time, Korea lends its treats …

Episode 169: Dumplings

April 2nd, 2015


Live show tickets here! 


Join Professors Molly and Matthew as they teach Encased Dough Balls 101. We tackle existential questions such as the …

Episode 168: Singapore Junk Food

March 26th, 2015


Live show tickets still available here!

Hopes are high for hand delivered Singapore Junk Food which comes heavily packaged, addictive and …

Episode 167: Mint Chocolate

March 19th, 2015


There are still tickets available for our April 19th Live Show here!

We are going door to door bearing laughter, joy and mint chocolate treats. Mint …

Episode 165: Fondue

March 5th, 2015


Hot and bubbly,  we are stabbing our way into the 70s with Molly's first foray into fondue. The conspiracy behind the creation of fondue is revealed …

Episode 164: Donuts

February 26th, 2015


Sugar bombs away! Stop by our break room for a box of donuts aka: crullers, fritters, bear claws, bismarcks, twists and jellied. We chat about weepy …

Episode 163: Birthday Cake LIVE!

February 19th, 2015


We celebrated our 5th birthday/anniversary with a live show where we broke our slogan by sharing cake with the audience. Molly and Matthew reminisce …

Episode 162: Orange Soda

February 12th, 2015


Get ready to concentrate. When you are hot and sweaty from watering your potted plant, nothing is better than a cool, refreshing, bottled and …

Episode 161: Fennel

February 5th, 2015


Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. Today we delve into fennel, its seeds, pollen, fronds and bulbs. Matthew finally admits to his mysterious past while we …

Episode 160: Cheap Beer

January 29th, 2015


We don't know much about football, so we are participating in the only way we know, the beer. Join us as we slosh down memory lane, wonder where the calories in light beer go, which beer has the best cans and if our …

Episode 159: Lip Balm

January 22nd, 2015


It is the dead of the winter and our lips are paying the price. We try a plethora of lip balms and finally admit to our Carmex addiction. Waxy, fruity, glossy or tinted, these balms are smooth on the lips but rough on …

Episode 158: Waffles

January 15th, 2015


Rise and Shine! Today we consume yet another doughy breakfast item slathered in syrup. Molly and Matthew struggle to keep things clean while …

Episode 157: Canadian Junk Food

January 8th, 2015


Oh Canada! You send it, we eat it. Maybe that should be our new motto. Today we flirt with new career paths, challenge Smarties to a duel and find …

Episode 156: Carrots

January 1st, 2015


Happy New Year! 
Beware: carrots apparently bring out some inflamed opinions. We discuss the carrots of days gone by and find out if Molly can …

Episode 155: German Christmas

December 25th, 2014


Fröhliche Weihnachten! 
We must not have been too naughty this year, since we were gifted a box of German Christmas treats. We delve into the merits of marzipan, artificial aromas and shady Santas. Thanks for listening …

Episode 154: Favorite Sandwiches

December 18th, 2014


The cure for the flu? Sandwiches of course. Or is it tattoos? Sandwiches both foreign and domestic, of the past and the present haunt our appetites and today we discuss and debate our favorites. It isn't as simple as …

Episode 153: Vanilla Ice Cream

December 11th, 2014


Today we are joined by our arch enemy, Dan from The Sporkful, to talk all things lame and boring, otherwise known as Vanilla Ice Cream. We find out …

Episode 152: Classic Cocktails

December 4th, 2014


Finally, the episode you've all been waiting for! Our hosts get more and more tipsy as they learn what makes a cocktail a classic, what Matthew can safely order in a biker bar and how many steps it takes to become Don …

Episode 151: Green Beans

November 27th, 2014


Today you can finally have some of our topic, if you are having that classic Thanksgiving side dish, the Green Bean Casserole that is. Molly and …

Episode 150: Sour Cream

November 20th, 2014


How do you take your sour cream? Whipped, savory and with extra fat? Today your super cultured and ultra-pasteurized hosts alternate from true …

Episode 149: Cheddar

November 13th, 2014


Today we are extra sharp, clothbound and falling down the Wookey Hole. We love cheddar cheese in every shape and color, whether generic or artisanal, …

Episode 148: Pumpkin Spice

November 6th, 2014


Autumn has arrived bringing with it all manner of pumpkin spiced edibles. Molly and Matthew tackle heirloom varietals, contemplate a Trader Joes …

Episode 147: Caramel

October 30th, 2014


Molly, Matthew and the Maillard Reaction presents an ooey, gooey, sticky adventure of the burnt sugar variety. Caramel is cheap and simple, yet …

Episode 146: Colombian Junk Food

October 23rd, 2014


Either we are nearing our expiration date or we will just need another trip to the dentist after these Colombian treats from Listener Maria. These …

Episode 145: Bok Choy

October 16th, 2014


What baby brassica simply stalks and leaves? Bok Choy! Through 50 shades of green and raw dunks, Matthew and Molly explore this underused vegetable …

Episode 144: Walnuts

October 9th, 2014


Today we take a walk down the wild side through nutty Oklahoman pasts while Molly and Matthew fall under the spell of black walnut magic. RIP …

Episode 143: Jarred Spaghetti Sauce

October 2nd, 2014


Meat posts at the ready! Molly and Matthew taste jarred spaghetti sauces and discuss chunky vs. smooth, Sinatra vs. Newman and stapled fingers vs. …

Episode 142: Cheesy Crackers

September 25th, 2014


This week we confront those cheesy crackers that populated our childhoods and continue to haunt our dreams. Tasting these zesty, neon orange, …

Episode 141: Fresh Herbs

September 18th, 2014


Stephen King and Spilled Milk presents: Fresh Herbs. Molly and Matthew approach a plethora of herbs, favorite and feared, real and imagined, delicate …

Episode 140: Brazilian Junk Food

September 11th, 2014


Carla the Listener sent us on a journey of Brazilian delights. Crossing the Saliva Sea, our odyssey is fraught with poor pronunciation, incognito beef chips, enigmatic peanuts and vile meat jelly with a stop by the …

Episode 139: Crepes

September 4th, 2014


Back to school with French 101. Your supply list consists of a baguette, beret, neckerchief, squeegee and a fire extinguisher. Today we'll lecture on …

Episode 138: Caramel Corn

August 28th, 2014


Today we are tapping caramel corn with relish. Those sticky, crunchy clusters invoke more spelunking stories, though not the kind you are thinking of. You may want to think twice before playing Truth or Dare? with …

Episode 137: Maple Syrup

August 21st, 2014



Welcome to the Spilled Milk Sugar Bush, where we taste maple syrup of all grades and qualities and sometimes, it's not even real. We've done way more research into syrup grading than you ever thought you'd want so …

Episode 136: Non-Tomato Pasta Sauces Pt. 1

August 14th, 2014


Today, we plate up some pasta and discuss sauces sans tomatoes. Molly fixates on spelunking while Matthew's cookbook collection comes under fire. …

Episode 135: Toast

August 7th, 2014


This week, we tackle yet another trendy topic and discover that toast abuse is real. But we still aren't sure if it's worth $4 a slice or which method is best for getting that perfect crisp, though John Thorne seems to …

Episode 134: Celery

July 31st, 2014


More than just mirepoix, we seek to celebrate celery in all its stringy, crunchy glory. On a journey through its leaves, seeds and stalks, listen as we crunch away chatting about the merits of de-stringing, chopping and …

Episode 133: Oatmeal Cookies

July 24th, 2014


 We make good on our promises so it is time to discuss oatmeal in cookie form. Have you ever been lured and deceived by raisins? Do you know where no bake cookies come from? How about the fighting capabilities of Sesame …

Episode 132: Cream of Wheat

July 17th, 2014


Please sir, we want some more sloppy breakfast cereals. This week our topic is farina aka Cream of Wheat, that favorite meal of the elderly or incarcerated. Join us as we discover what actually makes this stuff edible, …

Episode 131: Gushing Candies

July 10th, 2014


Today we discuss extreme exploders, hopped up with high fructose corn syrup and 1% real fruit juice. Those whirling, squirting, leaking, tingling and fizzing flavors that dance on your taste buds provide a science …

Episode 130: Coleslaw

July 3rd, 2014


Get ready to expose yourself to that tangy, cold and crunchy meal accompaniment, coleslaw. Shredded, raw and sometimes wilting, we find the perfect …

Episode 129: Pretzels

June 26th, 2014


Is it a bird? Is it a plane? It's The Pretzel! He is here to save the day from the Snack Artist's nefarious plan to take over the world with honey mustard pretzel minions. But where is The Pretzel's trusty sidekick, …

Episode 128: Lemonade

June 19th, 2014


When life gives you powder... you eat it from the can. This week's topic is Lemonade where we discover yet again that Matthew is a snob with …

Episode 127: Oatmeal

June 12th, 2014


Rise and Shine! This week, we embark an another oat based breakfast, this time the gloopy variety. Our slightly snobby hosts prefer posh and steel-cut though they may deign to sample some of that instant flavored stuff. …

Episode 126: Canned Tomatoes

June 5th, 2014


With rhymes and puns, Molly and Matthew tackle what could prove to be their Achilles' heel, Canned Tomatoes. Through cheesy pasts, shady meeting …

Episode 125: Granola

May 29th, 2014


While neither are worthy of the title Granola Mentor, Matthew and Molly are taking us from toasty to tasty. Join these cereal stuffers as they get …

Episode 124: Green Juice

May 22nd, 2014


Great blades of wheat grass! This week our super trendy and always relevant hosts are on a cleanse. They are bulking up and hulking out, braving one …

Episode 123: Spring Veggies

May 15th, 2014


This week, Matthew and Molly once again laugh in the face of danger as they brave pungent odors, homicidal plants and entrapping tendrils. The …

Episode 122: Canned Tuna

May 8th, 2014


This week we are packed in the Mediterranean tradition with one of Matthew's most feared foods, canned tuna. Get ready to pick a side, whether it's …

Episode 121: Sushi

May 1st, 2014


Sweet tofu pockets it's Sushi 101! Matthew finally gets to show off his knowledge of that most beloved of Japanese cuisine, sushi. He expertly guides us through concept, pronunciation, tastings and practical …

Episode 120: Icebox Cake

April 24th, 2014


Webster's Dictionary defines Icebox Cake as: (n) Much better than a human centipede. Join our post-apocalyptic adventure where zebras and cannibals abound and only a 2 ingredient chilled dessert can save you. 
House of …

Episode 119: Prunes

April 17th, 2014


Keeping you regular with our weekly episodes, this time we probe everybody's favorite laxative, prunes. This versatile fruit delights whether dried, …

Episode 118: Food as Utensils

April 10th, 2014


Celery straws and coconut bras. Here at Spilled Milk, we don't shy away from the deep questions, such as "What actually constitutes a food utensil?" and "Where do Red Vines go when they die?". Desperate times call for …

Episode 117: English Muffins

April 3rd, 2014


Dive deep into the nooks and crannies of that perfect breakfast system delivery mechanism: the English Muffin. Are they English? Are they muffins? …

Episode 116: Grilled Cheese

March 27th, 2014


To dip or not to dip? Creating a perfectly crustic grilled cheese sandwich is an art. Butter-brushing, crisp-creating and cheese-selecting takes an expert, which we totally are. Please don’t be intimidated by the …

Episode 115: Limes

March 20th, 2014


It’s time. It’s lime time. They’re essential to ceviche, Mexican cooking, Thai cooking, and pie. We investigate Persian limes, key limes, rangpur limes, and that one lime with the racist name that we’re really not sure …

Episode 114: Scottish Junk Food

March 13th, 2014


Sons and daughters of Scotland! We are Spilled Milk. And that’s as much of Braveheart as we remember. Listener Gemma kindly sent us a box full of …

Episode 113: Salsa

March 6th, 2014


Fiesta! Molly and Matthew get down with five bowls of spicy goodness and a pound of broken chips, and they learn a lot about salsa, garlic, and life. …

Episode 112: Mixed Nuts

February 20th, 2014


This week on Mixed Nuts: Matthew admits to a shocking nut-crush. Molly admits she’s never thought much about mixed nuts. And we spend five minutes …

Episode 111: Fast Food Frozen Treats

February 6th, 2014


Road trip! Why is our sound quality so lousy this week? It’s because we took the show to our local fast food emporium to enjoy some frozen treats. We talk Frostys, Blizzards, and other fast-food classics. Plus, a sneak …

Episode 110: Popcorn

January 23rd, 2014


Dear Dennis Quaid: We’re really sorry about all the things we did to you on this episode. But really, would you rather Martin Short in there, or us? …

Episode 109: Bacon

January 16th, 2014


Finally, Matthew’s superpower is revealed. Trust us, you didn’t want to know. In the meantime, however, we eat bacon and talk thickness, crispiness, smokiness, and finding bacon in unexpected places. …

Episode 108: Eggplant

January 9th, 2014


Witness the debunking of eggplant sex, the battle of bitter and silky, and the birth of Hobo Ghannoush. NOTE: You know the part where Matthew gets all smug because he knows the word “dioecious”? Well, he was completely …

Episode 107: Pizza Toppings

December 27th, 2013


Welcome back, our friends, to the show that never ends. But how do you stop talking about pizza toppings? I mean, you’ve got cheese, sauce, pepperoni, margherita, supreme, pineapple, dessert pizza, hamburger nuggets, …

Episode 106: Sweet Potatoes

December 12th, 2013


Hey, sweetie pies. On this episode we explore the sweet potato/yam divide, ruin Thanksgiving, get arrested for assault and battery, and still have …

Episode 105: Lemons

November 28th, 2013


From the high-powered world of competitive botany comes this lip-puckering episode. How do you zest? How do you juice? How many hand gestures can we work into an audio podcast? Go suck a lemon! EXPLICIT. …

Episode 104: Salami

November 14th, 2013



Drive 2.8 miles down Lactic Fermentation ParkwayTurn right onto Meat Stick Alley (ignore PRIVATE PROPERTY sign)Proceed until you see an ominous-looking shackFlee on foot

Episode 103: Halloween Candy

October 31st, 2013


The things we do to our bodies on this episode should be illegal. Also, our understanding of human biology is primitive. Also, what is nougat? Also, …

Episode 102: Chocolate Chip Cookies

October 17th, 2013


Padlock your freezer, because we’re coming for your dough! What kind of chocolate makes the best cookie? What’s so great about old dough? Does size …

Episode 101: Whipped Cream

October 3rd, 2013


It’s light vs heavy vs canned vs Peter Gabriel vs Prince in this no-holds-barred cream-o-rama. Wait, that didn’t sound right at all. What can you say …

Episode 100: Salt

September 19th, 2013


It’s our centennial episode! Remember when Spilled Milk got its start, back in 1913? All we remember is, we probably didn’t have access to the variety of gourmet salts we enjoy today. Salts tasted: Jacobsen (Oregon), …

Episode 99: Instant Coffee

September 5th, 2013


Hey does it seem like we’re talking really fast? It seems to us likewe’retalkingreallyfast. Molly and Matthew celebrate the moments of their lives …

Episode 98: Radishes

August 22nd, 2013


Join your masked hosts El Rábano and Le Radis for a classic Spilled Milk heirloom produce variety quiz and a discussion of French breakfasts, little pinkies, and big hairy daikons. Recipe: Braised radishes. …

Episode 97: East Coast Chips

August 8th, 2013


Listeners Rachel and Max from Pittsburgh sent us the greatest gift: a big box of potato chips. Grandma Utz, for example, fries her chips in lard. …

Episode 96: Pasta Shapes

July 25th, 2013


This is the show that you’ve been waiting for, in which we determine, once and for all, the best pasta shape. Or not. Along the way, Matthew …

Episode 95: Salmon

July 11th, 2013


It’s July in Seattle, and that means one thing: salmon. We’ve been noodlin' around in the river with Brad Pitt, losing fingers and catching dinner, …

Episode 94: Croissants

June 27th, 2013


In this flaky, buttery episode, Molly and Matthew pull apart the culinary conundrum that is a croissant. How did the croissant conquer the world when …

Episode 93: Jam

June 13th, 2013


What's your jam? Our jam is jam. Strawberry, gooseberry, tayberry, damson...but grape? Not so much. We taste a bunch of jams on toast and have a Smucking good time doing it.

Episode 92: Buckwheat

May 30th, 2013


Surprisingly little talk of Eddie Murphy on this buckwheat-centric episode. Buckwheat for dinner? Yes! For dessert? Yes! As a hearty, toasted breakfast cereal? Well, how Dickensian do you want to get? Recipes: Kasha, …

Episode 91: Airplane Food

May 16th, 2013


Ever since airlines stopped serving meals on domestic flights, comedians have had nothing to talk about. That didn't stop us from having a rollicking …

Episode 90: Milk

May 2nd, 2013


Finally, an episode about our namesake. Molly and Matthew mustache their way through quarts of milk. We sidestep the raw milk debate and cow vs goat, …

Episode 89: Onions

April 18th, 2013


If there are no onions involved, is it really cooking? Molly's Polish grandmother says no. If you don't have a Polish grandmother, this episode makes …

Episode 88: Bitter Greens

April 4th, 2013


How does a chicory root become a bunch of tightie whities? What can broccoli rabe teach us about Matthew’s masculinity? And if you close your eyes, …

Episode 87: Potato Chips

March 21st, 2013


Molly and Matthew taste four classic chips, with surprising results. As you might expect, this episode consists entirely of crunching and made-up …

Episode 86: Bananas

March 7th, 2013


Do you dare to touch the frozen banana? We did, and we lived to tell you about it in excruciating detail. You are going to be so proud of how many monkey and human anatomy jokes we resisted making on this show. Recipes: …

Episode 85: Garlic

February 21st, 2013


What's that smell, you ask? Why, it's Molly and Matthew, and we've just eaten enough garlic bread to ward off all vampires (and humans with …

Episode 84: Canned Fruit

February 7th, 2013


Why do some fruits get better when you put them in a can and others turn into clammy eyeballs? We have no idea, but we keep opening cans of peaches, pears, fruit cocktail, and more, until we're up to our necks in heavy …

Episode 83: Shrimp

January 24th, 2013


Any episode that includes the question “do you prefer head-on or headless?” has got to be pretty good, right? We dive into the undersea world of shrimp and surface with a briny hangover and a couple of pretty awesome …

Episode 82: Marshmallows

January 10th, 2013


Gather round the campfire, children, because we have ghost stories from darkest Florida that'll scare you boneless! Meanwhile, Molly's marshmallow …

Episode 81: Cornbread

December 27th, 2012


A band of renegade and not-too-smart historians argues that the Civil War was fought over cornbread. Should it be sweet, cakey, and yellow? Or …

Episode 80: Brownies

December 13th, 2012


A note to fans of cakey brownies, if you even exist: you can skip this episode. Here at Spilled Milk, we fall on the fudgy side of the Great Brownie Divide, and it’s nice and soft and gooey over here. Join us as we …

Episode 79: Canned Childhood

November 29th, 2012


We're strolling down memory lane again, and this time, we're checking out cans.  From SpaghettiOs to tiny burgers in soup, we're revisiting the …

Episode 78: Gum

November 15th, 2012


Five out of five dentists recommend listening to this episode, because there is as of yet no known mechanism for sound waves to cause tooth decay. Unless you lie around listening to the show for days on end without …

Episode 77: Brussels Sprouts

November 1st, 2012


Do you still have nightmares about stinky little green heads on your childhood dinner plate? We're here for a grownup look at Brussels sprouts, with a hearty dose of heavy cream and hot metal. (Just kidding; we've never …

Episode 76: Chinese Takeout

October 18th, 2012


Yes, we love the real Chinese food you can get in major Western cities today. But we've never lost our taste for the gloopy takeout we ate as kids. That's why we're feasting this week on beef with snow peas, sweet and …

Episode 75: Yogurt

October 4th, 2012


Gather round, friends. We have a special treat for you: plain yogurt. Yeah, we said it. This week we climb into a metaphorical vat of probiotic goodness and discuss texture, mix-ins, and made-up yogurt science. Includes …

Episode 74: Japanese Junk Food

September 20th, 2012


We’ve got mail, and it’s a box full of tiny brains, mini mushrooms, little fish, and Pocky. Tune in, Tokyo: it’s Japanese snack time.

Episode 73: Mushrooms

September 6th, 2012


This week, we're lacing up our boots, buying a truffle pig, and going foraging in the Safeway produce section. From criminis to shiitakes, Matthew …

Episode 72: Day of Perfect Meals

August 23rd, 2012


If you could have one day of unlimited travel, cash, and stomach capacity, plus the power to raise dead breakfast cooks, what would you eat? (Hmm, …

Episode 71: Granola Bars

August 9th, 2012


When we were in grade school, bringing a granola bar in your lunch box was a key factor in the daily struggle to avoid ostracism. But you had to …

Episode 70: Honey

July 25th, 2012


Greetings from Spilled Milk University. First, the zoology department weighs in on how bees make honey (we have no idea). Next, to the law school, …

Episode 69: Meatballs

July 12th, 2012


What makes a meatball tender and juicy? The Filler Man knows. We discuss how to make them, how to cook them, and then things get a little bulgur. …

Episode 68: Energy Drinks

June 28th, 2012


Molly and Matthew get wings, fly high like a starfruit, unleash the beast, and get in touch with our inner rockstars. We're here to answer one …

Episode 67: Hard Tacos

June 14th, 2012


Hoo boy, we've cranked the juvenile up to 11 (years old). We're talking about American-style hard tacos, and if the phrase "American-style hard …

Episode 66: Spinach

May 31st, 2012


It’s green. It’s leafy. It makes your teeth feel like you’ve been slimed, Ghostbusters-style. Join us as we savor an all-spinach lunch, straight from President Taft’s bathtub.


Fergus …

Episode 65: Sour Candy

May 17th, 2012


This episode is dedicated to those among you who, like us, spent your youth sucking on Sour Patch Kids until your tongue was raw and bleeding.  We'll see you in the drugstore parking lot, and don't forget the sour …

Episode 64: Asparagus

May 4th, 2012


Everyone knows that size doesn't matter, except when it comes to asparagus. This week on Spilled Milk, we're discussing the finer points of our favorite spring vegetable: to snap or to cut, to peel or not to peel, to …

Episode 63: Packaged Cookies

April 19th, 2012


The world's best cookie would consist of a layer of marshmallow sandwiched between two Oreos, in the shape of a peanut, with fudge stripes painted on …

Episode 62: Utensils II

April 5th, 2012


BONUS EPISODE! We just couldn't leave it alone. We're back with a few words on can openers, oven mitts, side towels, and...a dream sequence?

Episode 61: Utensils

March 29th, 2012


Forget the sexy, expensive stuff like knives and skillets. We're debating the best spatulas, peelers, and spoons. With one saucepan thrown in just …

Episode 60: Steak

March 15th, 2012


Do you fantasize about flanks and skirts and pan sauces mounted with butter? That makes three of us. This week on Spilled Milk, we're making our dreams come true in broad daylight, at lunchtime, as we cook and share …

Episode 59: Pancakes

March 1st, 2012


Molly and Matthew are trapped in the kitchen cooking pancakes while you've already started eating breakfast. Join us for another syrup-drenched …

Episode 58: French Toast

February 16th, 2012


Stale bread + nostalgia = French toast. Molly and Matthew dredge up hazy, eggy memories; then it's a present-day smackdown between Molly's artisan …

Episode 57: Grapefruit

February 2nd, 2012


This week, thanks to the miracle of the winter citrus harvest, we're tackling questions that have plagued mankind for centuries: why old people get …

Episode 56: Hard Candy

January 19th, 2012


If it comes in a wrapper and destroys fillings with extreme prejudice, we're putting it in our mouths this week. We've raided the supermarket bulk …

Episode 55: Broccoli

January 5th, 2012


Notes from a broccoli bender: Cruciferous, by Calvin Klein. Dinosaur Trees. The case of Florets v. Stalks. Recipe: Roasted Broccoli and Shrimp. Note: …

Episode 54: Hot Chocolate

December 22nd, 2011


Never promise hot chocolate and deliver hot cocoa, or you'll be sorry. What's the difference? Let's spend some time together confusing the issue amid …

Episode 53: Dark Chocolate

December 8th, 2011


We found a list of chocolate tasting terms on the Internet, and we're not afraid to use it. Prunes, ash, wax, coffee beans, smoker's breath: this …

Episode 52: Apples

November 28th, 2011


Hey there, Honeycrisp. You can be our Aunt Rachel anytime. Join us as we get down to the core of our state fruit. Recipe: Whole Wheat Apple Cake.

Episode 51: Banh Mi

November 10th, 2011


Fill a French baguette with Vietnamese ingredients and you have one of the world's great sandwiches: banh mi. Combine Molly and Matthew with a banh …

Episode 50: Toothpaste and Shampoo

October 27th, 2011


They said it couldn't be done. Oh, wait, they said it SHOULDN'T be done. It's done.

Episode 49: Peanut Butter

October 13th, 2011


Welcome to the Adventures of Jif Skippy, the No-Stir Kid. We're dipping our butter knives into so many peanut butter jars, we're not sure our jaws will ever unstick.

Episode 48: Thai Salads

September 29th, 2011


You know the four flavors of Southeast Asia? Something like hot, sour, salty, Spilled Milk? They all come together on today's tongue-scorching episode devoted to the salads of Thailand. Fill your bathtub with lime juice …

Episode 47: Lettuce

September 15th, 2011


Oh NOOOOOOOOO! There's a severed head in the crisper drawer! Either we've been sampling from Molly's adolescent-era stash of Stephen King novels, or …

Episode 46: Dorm Food

September 1st, 2011


Molly and Matthew graduated from college not so long ago. (The 90s just happened, right?) Today, they share semi-fond memories of the weird things …

Episode 45: Frozen Treats on a Stick

August 18th, 2011


It's hot, hot, hot, and we've got a freezer full of fun. We're talking Creamsicles, Fudgsicles, Push-ups, and more. If it's not on a stick, it's not …

Episode 44: Seaweed

August 4th, 2011


Sure, nori and kombu are loaded with nutrients and umami, but are they funny? We can try. While splashing around in the ocean of seaweed humor, we learn how to shop for savory seaweed products, including tsukudani, …

Episode 43: Sparkling Beverages

July 21st, 2011


In the thick of summer, neither rain, nor sweatshirts, nor ignorance of beverage history is going to keep us from our sparkling drinks. See you in Cancun. The Cancun of the mind. Recipes: rosemary lemonade, egg cream.

Episode 42: Poached Eggs

July 7th, 2011


It's simmertime! No rolling boil here, just a pan of simmering water and the scent of vinegar in the air. What can Molly teach Matthew about poaching …

Episode 41: Junk Food II

June 23rd, 2011


Severed hands, five dirty napkins, and a roll of Hob Nobs. That's what it's come to. We're talking junk food again, and this time, the focus is on …

Episode 40: Rice

June 9th, 2011


You know the nonexistent proverb, "Rice is nice; eat it twice"? Well, we're taking it to heart this week with two kinds of tasty rice dishes and a handy chart. And believe me, our chart looks great on the radio. …

Episode 39: Meat Sticks

May 26th, 2011


Dusk. A lone boxcar clatters down the tracks. Squint, and you'll see two silhouettes huddled inside. One peels the lid off a tin can; the other rips open a plastic pouch with his teeth. They say grace over the feast of …

Outtake: Mammi

May 16th, 2011


For a special Easter treat, Molly and I ate some Mammi, the Finnish delicacy made famous by Jenna in our Scary Food II episode. Features a sneak …

Episode 38: Crusty Corners

May 12th, 2011


We're reporting live from Crusty Corners, the magical land where crusty, cheesy, bubbly goodness reigns. This was supposed to be a show about …

Episode 37: Beans

April 28th, 2011


We know you didn't think it was possible, but this week, we're even more full of beans than usual. (Dried beans, specifically, though we like canned, …

Episode 36: Butter

April 14th, 2011


We are not Shedding you: this is our richest, creamiest episode yet. It's a Country Crockload of buttery goodness, featuring a rigorous butter taste test and some trenchant observations that will get us banned from …

Episode 35: Scary Food II

March 31st, 2011


Like a zombie rising from your natto bowl, it's Scary Food II, and this time, thanks to listener calls, it's personal. Claire is afraid of lasagna. Jenna had an encounter with an unspeakable Finnish dessert. And Iris …

Episode 34: Ramen

March 17th, 2011


Noodle, noodle, noodle all day. We're boiling up instant ramen. But wait! This isn't (just) our junk food tendencies taken to their inevitable final destination. We found some instant ramen with real depth. Dive into a …

Episode 33: Parsnips

March 3rd, 2011


What's a carrot's evil twin? That's right, a parsnip! But they're far from evil. We love these sinewy roots roasted, pureed, mashed, stewed, and sauteed, and we're going to tell you how to select them and where you can …

Episode 32: Spouseless Eating

February 17th, 2011


You know the saying: when the spouses are away, Molly and Matthew eat soufflé. Except not really. This week, we share a piping hot Stouffer's French …

Episode 31: Hot Dogs

February 3rd, 2011


This week we tackle everyone's favorite fleshy meat...uh, let's start over. This week we obsess over snappy tube steaks. No, wait. There's no good way to say this, is there? It's the hot dog episode. We love them and …

Episode 30: Chicken Stock

January 20th, 2011


We're taking stock of the situation...with our tongues. Wait, that can't be right. We're slurping chicken stock--homemade and factory-squeezed--with …

Episode 29: Memories

January 6th, 2011


It's the dreaded clip show...with a twist! We're revisiting our favorite moments from our first year, but you've never heard these secret outtakes before. This ham-heavy trip down memory lane will have you clamoring for …

Episode 28: Fudge

December 17th, 2010


Oh, f----! We wanted to share delicious holiday fudge with you. Instead, we need therapy. And a crime scene cleanup crew. Paging the Byrd Brothers! …

Episode 27: Muffins

December 2nd, 2010


"Muffin" is not just a euphemism for cake. We've got bananas and blueberries on the brain, along with bran, gingerbread, and poppyseed. Recipes: Blueberry muffins; banana muffins.

Outtake: Mountain Dew

November 19th, 2010


This didn’t quite fit into an upcoming episode, so we’re posting it as a little extra for the true fans. This means you.

Episode 26: Soda

November 18th, 2010


Nothing takes us back to the sick days of our youth like lemon-lime soda. Lying in bed, listening to the Walkman, hoping you won't need the strategically-placed bucket: we are taking you back in time with an all-star …

Episode 25: Puffy Snacks

November 4th, 2010


Yes, it's another junk food bender as we eat our way through several bags of puffy snacks--Cheetos, Funyuns, and their kin--in front of a live audience. Along the crunchy way, we answer important questions, like "how do …

Episode 24: Burgers

October 21st, 2010


Do you love hamburgers? Do you butter your buns with care? And most importantly, do you grind your meat at home? If these questions make you feel …

Episode 23: Cucumbers

October 7th, 2010


This week on Spilled Milk, we're celebrating cucumbers the same way that we celebrate everything: by cooking them. Cooked cucumber! Who knew? Also, what's up with recipes that call for salting cucumbers to make them …

Episode 22: Chiles

September 23rd, 2010


Put on your pepper pants, people, because we're frying, pickling, and enchiladafying chiles today. We're crazy for medium-sized, medium-hot chiles (padrons, shishitos, anaheims, poblanos, and their cousins), and we're …

Episode 21: Corn off the Cob

September 16th, 2010


How do you get your niblets off the cob? Wait, that's not a euphemism! Join us for a lunch of corn off the cob: how to buy it, how to coax the kernels off (still not a euphemism!), and how to cook it--or not cook it. …

Episode 20: Crackers

September 2nd, 2010


How were Triscuits created? What's that white powder on the outside of a White Cheddar Cheez-It? And what, exactly, does the "stoned" in Stoned Wheat Thins mean? Join us as we try, and mostly fail, to answer these …

Episode 19: Scary Food

August 19th, 2010


Raw, primal, stomach-churning fear. It's brought on by snakes, public speaking, and...lunch? Tune in as Molly and Matthew face down a meal they'll …

Episode 18: Heirloom Tomatoes

August 5th, 2010


Have you ever sunk your teeth into a juicy Grandma's Recliner heirloom tomato? Neither have we, because we made it up. We investigate the world of real and fake tomatoes in this special episode, recorded live at the …

Episode 17: Salad Dressing

July 22nd, 2010


It's hot outside, and who wants to cook? Not us. Instead, we're talking salad dressing. Join us for a discussion of oil, vinegar, miso, gloop-gloop, …

Episode 16: Sour Cherries

July 8th, 2010


They may be expensive, highly perishable, and a little tricky to find, but it's not summer without them: sour cherries! 'Tis the season, and we're celebrating in classic Spilled Milk style, with milkshakes, pickles, and …

Episode 15: Breakfast Cereal

July 1st, 2010


This week, we revisit the breakfast cereals of our youth and ask, once and for all, if they're really as good as we thought they were. What happened to Cracklin' Oat Bran? Why is Lucky the Leprechaun making that face? …

Episode 14: Mystery Lunch

June 17th, 2010


If we told you what it was about, it wouldn't be mystery lunch, WOULD IT? It's definitely more than just Matthew's plot to get Molly to clean out his …

Episode 13: Rhubarb

June 3rd, 2010


We love rhubarb in all its forms: stewed, roasted, in a cake, in a crumble, in a pie, churned into sherbet--and even raw. (Well, sort of.) Join us on an odyssey to the grocery store and back, and find out, once and for …

Episode 12: Rice Balls

May 20th, 2010


The squeezing, my god, the squeezing! Today we're woman- and manhandling rice into onigiri, Japanese rice balls, and filling them with all sorts of traditional ingredients like pickled plum, salmon, forest …

Episode 11: Peas

May 6th, 2010


If you've been taught to cook your peas just until they're bright green and fresh-tasting, you're about to get schooled. We know a guy with a …

Episode 10: Ham

April 22nd, 2010


Here at Spilled Milk, our Easter party is still raging, because we can't stop eating ham. Dry-cured, wet-cured, we don't care: we love and investigate them all, with stops in Spain, the mall, and the Middle Ages. …

Episode 9: Crispy Potatoes

April 9th, 2010


Do you smell something burning? Sorry, that was us. Not even the smoke alarm can deter us from our mission to make crispy potatoes two ways. Plus, Matthew's freezer contains an embarrassing secret. Again. Recipes: …

Episode 8: Unpopular Fish

March 25th, 2010


Do you enjoy stinky little fish like sardines, anchovies, mackerel, and herring? We do. So does Becky Selengut of and Mission …

Episode 7: Irish Spring

March 15th, 2010


Your hosts may not be Irish, but we make a mean corned beef and colcannon, not to mention fools of ourselves. Join us as we drink Guinness from the …

Episode 6: Junk Food

March 4th, 2010


As a kid, Molly coveted Hostess Twinkies, and Matthew ate something called Jingles. This week, we bury our faces in childhood junk food favorites and …

Episode 5: Braising

February 18th, 2010


Only braising can get you through the winter alive. But what to braise? Matthew says meat. Molly says vegetables. If this strikes you as …

Episode 4: Romantic Food

February 12th, 2010


As Shakespeare didn't put it, "If food be the food of love, eat food." That's how we would put it, though, and we are turning your Valentine's Day …

Episode 3: Milkshakes

February 4th, 2010


We're whizzing up trouble here in the Spilled Milk test kitchen, as your hosts make milkshakes and mistakes in equal measure. Follow us down the …

Episode 2: Winter Squash

January 21st, 2010


Winter squash is a big, scary vegetable. Matthew is scared of its sweet taste. Molly is scared of its thick skin. Can they put their fears to rest? …

Episode 1: Fried Eggs

January 7th, 2010


Does everything taste better with a fried egg on top? Molly and Matthew come up with many things that do and a few that don't. Plus, the pros and …

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