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ShEvo vs. The First World | A Skeptical Look at Western Culture

152 EpisodesProduced by Sheila Dee & Evo Terra - Third World SurvivorsWebsite

A critical look at the first world, inspired by the reverse culture shock your hosts, Sheila Dee & Evo Terra, experience every day as American citizens returning to Western civilization after three and a half years living and working in developing nations. Expert guests from the fields of science, s… read more

15:35

How Learning Thai Makes You Hate The English Alphabet [Season 4, Episode 26]

Recorded live on location at  Save Our Souls after probably too many beers, Evo goes on a tear about the English alphabet. What predicated this outrage/outburst? Learning the Thai alphabet, obviously.

(Don’t worry about the incorrect number of Thai consonants and vowels Evo says on the show. Did we mention he’d been drinking?)

Linguists probably won’t care much for this episode. But pragmatists, realists, and anyone who isn’t a native English speaker but has learned this goofy language will likely love it.

If you leave us a quick voicemail, Evo won’t have to make something up next week. And if you want these episodes early and gain access to all of our bonus content, support us on Patreon.

And Now, An Unfortunately Literal Audio-to-Text Transcription

Once again and for your comedic enjoyment, we present to you a transcript of our audio by the big computer brain at PodcasterPro. No, it's not very good at interpreting our content. But it is funny!

00:00:00
The trick is not putting it all the way in. When we make I am not, you're going to respond to that. Paying l o one one draw as one this. No. What this morning? This one time. Oh my God, Just one time. The girls. So no question this week. Love. No. What I thought this, we are rapidly approaching the end of the fourth season of the show. This is episode out four hundred twenty six Glad though the or the foil, the 26th episode of the fourth season of this one time. Um. Um, I thought we can talk about. My hatred of the American Alphabet . And and when did you come to this realization? They hated the American Alphabet vis has come at the combination of living in Southeast Asia for two years and trying. With with poor results. To learn the Thai alphabet, which which makes a lot of sense. Okay, not so much on the American off that though. Before we jump into that, I should mention the fact we are sitting outside listener of the save our souls, our neighborhood craft beer place manned by the fantastic Q who just got married recently. Congratulations Q and we are recording here with only do the show live her. We can introduce ourselves get we probably should do that. I'm She lady And I am either terror. You are listening to this one time and we are Shiboh dammit. I did it backwards again. You know you've had a couple of beers now back to the original conversation. We were having My hatred of the American off that thanks in large part to my attempted study. Poor as it is of the Thai ask that you know the task but has like 74 characters in their teen vowels. And do you have the mall down pat 74.

00:02:08
Consonance and thirteen vows note or have her half of them. I don't have of his Horter with him down. You do a really good job of speaking an and attempting to read like your. You've got the speaking done pretty well. You've got the sounds and things like that. And I know you, you work on trying to read as we go through and see things senior printed on signs and stuff like that. So I've been super impressed. I am. I know nothing fix Emilia across the street from us. There is a sign that says, uh, the name of our road. And the name of the road we live on is Sharon a home. Yes, which is in American that spelled chair Row One Nakhon C H A R O and a big space in a knock-on far guys shares of I. Nick next bought next, but all right Hamdan. Okay by 30 not alive. So General Nicholson is build C H A R O eat in space in A K H O N. So that is what? Set one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten eleven letters per se, Gerenek home. And my my mouth jumbles at every time I go to say it to a taxi driver, Right? Right. So our our twelve letters, What are the number is a spelled out a knock-on in Thai is spelt with one two, three, four, five, six, seven, half the number of letters required, but they have more letters than we do 74 consonance and thirteen valet. But I wanna talk about the Thai-language. Okay. I want to talk about how much I hate the American Alphabet. Okay, keep going. So now I should start by saying, I don't have any problem with vowels.

00:03:53
The vowels make sense. A e- I o u, We need those and sometimes why don't forget that. We will get the winds will We'll get to the why? Because I want to go through all the letters. That's all I got a problem with a vowels vowels I okay with, but it's a continous that cut me problem. That's that's a problem because they had the vows can say they can be different sounds depending on what's before and after that part of the problem I have with this particular Alphabet, And those are out of English-language, but it's Guinness the specific as the continent's We just have too many of them. . We don't have that many compared to the ties. We still have too many. Let's go through them, shall we worship will begin. You set the stage for the English teacher. So you tell me where we're beginning on his. Well, let's begin at be. We're going to go down alphabetically because if we start anywhere else, I'll forget midway through. So I have no problem with over a obviously starting with bright. Here's why I hate be. B and P R the exact same sound. Grabbed the FBI, grab, grab rabbit, grab, grab it, grab it. Your your mouth, makes the exact same motion to make up for he Sound or a B A sound. It's the same shape. Warne is forcing a little more air Alpin the other, but at me and a P is completely trends. Mango refined. What sort of looking for you could use either one you what you said, I had a problem with this until we came to Saudi Arabia's actor. I this is me learning and growing as we go down. I don't pray. So I'm okay with a fee. As long as you kill the P, You gotta pick one or of Alexei you've got a big why? It's the same thing. Doesn't really matter. So where I hate to be. Okay. Seeing see. Okay. So seized dumb for a lot of reason is an SLA or is it a KION it all Guess what we have asked as in case.

00:06:00
We do not need a see, ignore less. I all than we might need a seat, or if it is immediately followed by an H so we can make the CIA Sound, put Wait. I'll get to that in a minute. That would be only possible reason rookie when the CIA, the sea around as he can make C in an age. Other than that, get rid of it. Do you hate the DEA's? Well, d or 10? We usually use AT T D, Same, Brigham sound. Make us make the FBI with your mouth in the Medea with your mouth t all the differences, you kind of release your tongue First, a new blow air across it. It's the same exact sound. The same exact mouthed admitted the and AT T your aspirated D to make a de It's dumb. Pick one. Any word with a d could be easily than of it. He as well. ADT. F. Yeah. 'cause we skipped E because I got a problem in the bowels, right? Thank you. I have to count all the rubber forever. This is why we're going down alphabetically camp. I don't have a problem with I like F F was the first letter in the American English, but as an PHR, the same. Well, combination problem is that the single ladder ordered to one which I already hate. Okay, Okay. As the first letter dental problem with I'm going to the app Now. We have one G O G, first off, it's a done name, but the name that the sounded G makes when it's making a hard sound, is a guy or is that a cup? It's the exact same shape again with your mouth. K N G makes the exact same sample Carrillo or guerrilla. You and I can hear that. Nobody else can hear that unless their native English speakers. G G and K are the same thing. Pick one. I don't care which it is. I mean, go British on you hate each C.

00:07:56
H is another letter that I also hate because an H doesn't actually have a sound and nature's just simply acceleration of air from your lungs. And you're gonna go to British. Okay. Yeah. They call it a Heydrich but they don't pronounced the Goddamn. But they don't I love There was, Hey, accidental Brossa said, there's no The comes out of their mouth. You could get rid of the age completely and just use it. Any letter to letters? LBO. Appeals be more British if you use that. Yes. Hate H K, J, J. I like the J except Now give her that. See our about the C H, but because a C H, N a job and a CIA, There is no difference. It's the same sound were making who can understand this from the CIA in a Juicero it's such a slight difference. We don't need it. So I like the Jay. Let's keep that one, But it's lose the C H for now the is completely and totally got you've already said you hate the K or I hate the Jeep, pick one. I don't really care. You need that sound. You need the or the car. I don't care which waders to pick one l. L Underhill. All you need, You need to make a hole through. You've got to that. Your legs are part of the bill. An M. I kinda like the m as well. Uh, we've got three Renault Wow done. We're gonna be in our over demenour yet 'em. Good sound man like at noon like that too. But war I know I know we now have four sounds M's. L M M and obviously, Oh, because I rail rows in there. That's a nice run factor. I called that the royal flush of the alphabet.

00:09:45
Okay, So we know you, Hey, P I either hate The Pierre hate the DEA, don't care. Which one would this be? Clear beast gives me, Yeah. And it was where thing where the P in the be in your mind drop, he. Got it, Laura, a lower case P drawer, and now draw lower case be poised on the exact same thing, but it is going up half, So I suggest we can find a two letters suggest. We combine those two letters to our line straight down and a bold in the middle after the right side, B, B, or repeat Same thing doesn't really matter. Oh, my. Q stupid rule letter, they You have to have with another letter. Yeah, Q by itself, Mexico sandwich irises. It was a post. She was stupid. Our. I like our. When leader own, We need ours sound and lots of weird Because in Southeast Asia oftentimes ours and the Elles R Us one another and together and they should not be because they're not the same. I'm okay with Els and ours. Ours are as good will keep the are s We'll get back to the same thing would have an s or A C, Right? So the season stupid probably like the S better. So yes. Will keep ESI t Wait, T R J D. T. Yes. Another detainee in a few things we can pick one of those V V stupid V an F same exact thing. Oh yeah, But you make Bank of America of Sound through the same thing. One is a little bit more on the lip in the other one dump lose the V W gotta have a w, But I will say, this is the dumbest made of a ladder. As I have no actual arriving.

00:11:26
Double you a terrible, terrible, but we need the war Sound of what needs to be there. I don't know what you call it would you shouldn't called a double you just because they've of the the sound war is barely in there. Okay. X excellently stupid letter. Why we need an X? Naming anything that actually was an Exxon, like xylophone. Yeah. What are the exit sound like this Agassi? Yes. Yeah. The Nets dumb. We don't need the exa there. No catch a terrible. So why? Because you didn't count why in your letters earlier I like white except I probably don't like Why Because of the Gobble juice out on over. So how to account that? No doubt a six Right now. Get rid of it. Uruguay wise dump because y- y makes a one percent of that with the w should make Would you to call that letter the wuss? Zeev. Oh, I'm sorry, J, C, as you say, S C Little sick, got letters out of the entire American Alpha and the vowels. And then one and a lot of red ones actually have to win and a fight like d versus leaper to be put them in a cage in my and let them choose. Let the winner come out. How did they do? How do they do that? The stronger wine have no idea are no idea. I'm not I'm not a dogfighting or Todd writing. I need to draw this fight. You like we should. Someone should be out there and tell us the winner of this, but we could simplify English, which is eight jacked language trying to explain this stuff to some one is night marriage. We could simplify things by getting rid of these dumb letter view like eleven letters. I like eleven Let us plus the vows wrote that is where the ballots with him while you don't. Those are my first here letters those eleven And then I think there's like five other ones that I would add by as they went into a.

00:13:11
Fight rank. You could simplify this whole frigate than their own SAARC This whole rigging thing. Same thing . non-English speakers did not hear non American English-speakers did not hear a difference between frigate and brigand. Can I think we're done here? We didn't answer the question would never wish should not a question. And I know Why blame of that, Honey. I blame our listeners. Okay, because they didn't send us questions. If you have a question you would like to send to us listener, what you should do is go to She vote that WTF slash Call us and leave us a quick voicemail. Do it on your phone, you're on your computer, do it on your talent. I don't really care XIV O . WTF slash Call us and leave us a question about our life on the road. Uh, Love questions. How we stayed together for thirty years, Y you think I'm completely right about the English-language sucking up and a better way to maintain all this stuff. I don't care. Just go to She vote WTF slash Call us and leave us a voice mail today. Oral, make something else up next week to you probably will. Our show would not be possible without the support of listeners like you, if you think our show is worthy lease Go to patriarch dot com. Yeah. In fact, is that what a patron AQAP Go to XIV O . WTF slash patriach. On And that's where you can leave us a small contribution, a token of your appreciation in the form of a small, tiny donation, a buck is fine. Wonderful. I will take more than that. More than that, you get, um, some special bonus things like early access to show special bonus content we released. It's awesome. Patriotic Hamas where we go, But the easiest way to get there is a XIV O . WTF slashed patriarch on and get signed up today are music is by the lay of a laugh. Thanks for listening listener. I am Bebo Tara. I'm Sierra deep for more information about our lives. Lived abroad, And what I'm going ahead on next week. White just they subscribed. We will do it One more time.

00:15:17
See ya.

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