Brian gives an update from Turkey, which Turks call Turkiye.
Two Turtle Doves Again. Kwanzaa Outlet. Jack's no good, terrible year. Fort Knox secrets. Andrew Heaton tries to land sponsors: Plastic Surgeon, Avatar 2, Wampaquissett Valley Casino. qmpodcast.com
Adagio for Strings. Baking Clinic. Cat tumors and doggie DNA. Advice for a young lady. Audiobook auditions: The Day the Bird Died, Harrison Schmitt Was There Too, The Night Santa Came. qmpodcast.com
Mama Pione's Marinara. Charles from Tech Support. Intimate venues, intimate moments, soiled doorways. Oprah's favorite things. Jack auditions: Who Moved My Cheese?, The Feds, Night At The Bunker. qmpodcast.com
SHHOP. Brian's back from disaster relief. Go Fund I. Jack Jr. has COVID. Timmy Sykes is Delicious Bill. Ad campaigns for John Fetterman, Ye's Hannukah Village, Trombones, Chipotle. Jack reads for CNN++: Liftoff, Medical …
A Gulgarian expat opens a sexy venue. Brian's back from disaster relief. Halloween costumes. Presidential Baby Team. qmpodcast.com
Questionable Material with Jack Helmuth and Andrew Heaton as Brian's off to do his disaster relief thing. Jack's archival interview with Queen Elizabeth.
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Russian recruitment ad. Nursing home rebellion. #NeverForget tragedies or anniversaries. Thomas the Tank Engine's new friends. Jack tries to land sponsors: Rowley Private Investigations, Pete's Discount Zoo, Willie …
Paint Distributor. Jack's new home has Monkeypox. Saving Prime Time with Brian & the Gang, Alff, The Inspirational Singers. A son heads off to …
Not so Quality Inn. Kenny Loggins Space Program. Jack's in Hell. Brian's son attends Special Military Operations Camp. The demon Neil Diamond.
Kidnapped by a cat lady. Raising money to extend the war. Entrepreneurship: Clown college, girth.com, Shag Finds cereal. Biden’s Prep & Mop-Up …
Jack in Vail. The six-star hotel difference. Breakfast wines.
Jack is in Virginia with a circumsized lady on the way. Brian explains new Ukrainian tactics. Spontaneous ads for Rhodeside Grill, Hawaiian Punch, GE Microwaves.
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Oh, hey! Jack has COVID yet again. Brian's back from Poland and booby-trapped the washing machine to teach the kids a lesson.
Brian reports from Przemysl. Working with great people like Flavio. Grandpa was a Bibliohump. A room with a view. Jack has a new job and needs advice. Przemysl.
Przemysl. How it's going. Pawel the Bodega Cat. Previous Oscars kerfuffles. Please kill him I want to come home.
The first dispatch from the Poland-Ukraine border. Jack is homeless. Brian fails to promote the podcast when platformed. Jack gets arrested. What to …
New New York Lotto Game. Brian in Poland. Making baseball more exciting. Movie endings: King Kong, Wizard of Oz, Brokeback Mountain, Annie Hall.
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A very special blossom. On the border. Eden has questions. The Bat. Przemysl.
Donate to World Central Kitchen https://donate.wck.org/
Save the Oligarchs. Russian Logistics. Melancholy times. Elton John farewell tour. Making Putin pay. Jack reads for Russian news agency TASS: Not An …
CNN's Prayers Answered. Gas Station TV. Sarasota's overbuilt. Ziggy makes sense and Garfield is funny. New York Times ad campaign. Jack auditions: The Batman Again, La Bouche, A Quiet Place 3.
Showtime Promo. Racist Fan Club. Canada-free weekend. Five-star dog shelter and a dog-owned cat shelter. The truth behind the music: Meatloaf, Fight the Power, Billie Jean, Heroes, Stayin' Alive, Sweet Child O' Mine, I …
Crypto Talk. Bucky's Restaurant. Jack goes blue. Anti-growth hormone. Anti-Joe Rogan with Bon Jovi, Billy Joel, NKOTB, and Chumbawamba. Spreading …
The most trusted source in news. Locust Valley. Dog uteruses and kitten heels. Superbowl commercials: Count Chocula, Heineken Non-Alcoholic Beer, …
Request Line Blues. Happy Prison. The Secret Life of Spayed Shepherds. Building approval ratings Back Better. Jack tries to land sponsors: Ellerson Toyota, Ikea, Miss Whiskers' Cat Bordello.
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Biden press conference. Ladders, Inc. How the family celebrates MLK Day Eve. Stadium High School's 97-year old graduate. Big changes at the …
Stacy Abrams isn't here. Animal Shelter. Brian won't raise Jack's kids after his murder-suicide. Pheromone studies. What to do amid civil strife. Appeasing the Patton Oswaltistes. Jack reads for CNN: …
Podcast of a Thousand Stars. Sign Language Lessons. Brian's Quebec adventure with lockdowns and sewage. Getting revenge on thieves. Resentful, …
From a year mostly known for sucking comes a rapidly curated selection of bits that brought joy to our listeners.
Undoubtedly other great bits were left behind like Willem Dafoe in Platoon.
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Fact Checkers LLC.; The origin story of Brian’s 20th anniversary; Christmas movies: A Miracle on Michigan Avenue, Blinky the Special Elf, Jussie …
Record-breaking swimmer. Sadvertising agency. That’s no mistress. How Brian lands the ladies. Equitizing the schools. Jack auditions: The Jussie …
Bagpipes 102.5FM. Manscaped. Shooting clay pigeons, fugitives, and Dave. A Social Justice Christmas Carol. Brian’s Tree Day family tradition. Jack …
Keep Crisis in Christmas. The New Klux Klan. Dogs having a great time until not. Scaffold harvesting with Charlie Sheen. The stories behind Rudolph …
The 1490 Project. Rupert & Stevens & Also Coffee. Turkey pardons. Getting rid of standardized testing, for progress. Getting Burger King out …
Cyndi Lauper Facts. Literal deer fence. Syracuse University Code of Conduct vs. Comedy. Boosting approval ratings with Kamala’s Pudding Trolley. The …
Foodbringr App. Wrapping help. Misia, the mouse-murderer. Groundhog bars. How disrupted supply lines this holiday can affect you and Santa. Jack aims …
Brandon’s In First Place. Celebrity Siblings, LLC. Manscaped likes us. Foot fetishist fanbase. Brian has a time machine and shares the 2022 Midterm …
Half Dune in Theaters Now. Applying to M.I.T. Brian is Mister Halloween. President Biden’s Germ-Sharing Tips. Jack tries to land sponsors: …
YouthSpring isn't Facebook! Vampire Hunter. Changes to your favorite superheroes. The untold story behind several Beatles songs. Jack tries to be an …
Cod Warehouse. Jim’s Gym. A birthday surprise. Manscaped Testimonials. Brian’s patents: Santa Trap, Helicopter for Dogs. Interview with Taliban 2.0 …
Disappointment Island. Rhyming Consultants Happy Birthday to Us. Kenny Loggins in the Spay Zone. Cornell School of Prostitution. Fixing the Post …
In celebration of the release of the newest Muppet movie, Muppets Haunted Mansion, we bring you a collection of dark, tortured Muppet bits from the …
The National Anthem. Giant Mirror Project. Skeet shooting leads to the rise and fall of Briantopia. Brian’s advertising expertise pays off for Apple, PayPal and Taco Bell. Jack auditions: Knock Knock The Movie, The R. …
The Wi Spa Song. A song dedication for Evan the eletrician. Brian tells his kid’s school off. A maskless, breathless night at the Met Gala with AOC. …
Scenes from an Afghan airport. Discount Electric. More scenes from an Afghan airport. Brian’s dog made a deer go to heaven. Even more scenes from an Afghan airport. The Woke City of Telosa. Scenes from an Afghan airport …
Norm Macdonald has died. Jack knew him and is sad. In this bonus epsiode, Jack shares personal stories about Norm -- a fearless comedian, reckless gambler, great guy, and the person who read Jack's first joke for …
Smash Capitalism! Sanitizer, LLC. Affordable vacation tips. Jack has questions about Brian’s screenplays: Titanic II, Garfield’s Revenge, Hee Hee - The Michael Jackson Story, The Great Muppet Purge. Listener mail.
New Jeopardy host. Dog Lottery. Have a good time giving blood. Jack ask Brian about his videogames: Super Cuomo Brothers, Lebron James NBA Basketball …
Equity Spelling Bee. Brian helped his son learn how to travel by himself. Brilliant ways to reverse sagging Olympics ratings. Jack auditions: Andrew, …
Andrew Cuomo press conference. Mixed Messages LLC. Celebrity hookups: Gomer Pyle, Oprah, Jimmy Carter, Meryl. President Barack Obama’s birthday …
Olympic track event. Affordable Interior Design. Mike’s rural bachelor party meets Tonka truck. Nipples: A Gentleman’s Club. Brian heads South Korea's TV graphics department.
Huntersong. Polish Tourism Bureau. Brian is in charge of de-sexing the Olympics. First letter from the son’s boot camp. Ben & Jerry’s new …
America Sucks Academy. Coffee Shop. Brian’s son is at boot camp. Subway’s new menu, new spokesman, and new hiring tactics. Jack reads the obituaries: …
In our very first, very special, Trial By Comedy epsiode we welcome comedian, podcaster, performer, and author Andrew Heaton.
Jack oversees the battle of wits between Andrew and Brian -- their valiant efforts subject to …
Howard University Campus TV. Komedy Sourke. New school, no shirts, no geometry. Joe Biden’s world: Honoring Augustus Gloop, Who Are These People?, …
Intruder, Intruder. Half-Ass Museum. How to celebrate America’s Birthday. Film expert Brian dishes on the alternate endings of famous movies: The Lion King, Rain Man, Hoosiers, The Muppets Take Manhattan. Jack tries to …
Mighty Mighty MC has a niche. 1-800-GAMBLER. Local market baseball caps: NY Mets, Chicago White Sox, LA Dodgers, San Francisco Giants, Oakland A’s, …
Jeffrey Toobin’s Back! Jack misses his childhood home. Brian doesn’t. Ideas for the Girl Scout Cookie surplus. Brian’s kids’ school is compromised. …
Thanks to our sponsors. Astrologer. Saint Milton, Patron Saint of Not Educating Kids. Where Are They Now: Jack Nicholson, Kato Kaelin, Jared Fogel, …
The Day America Was Almost Murdered to Death. Doggie Daycare. Graduation tips. The story behind the movies: Rocky, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Jaws, The Princess Bride. Jack tries to land …
Coming Up Next. Tim's Demolition. The backstory behind new Madonna songs. Jack auditions for Flashdance 2022, Trauma Center, Batman & Ice. Candid …
Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot's press conference. Ethnic Cleansers. Advice for Rob’s new baby. Jack asks Brian about his screenplays titled Star Trek: …
Sensitive Valley. Brian has a new dog and was in high school as a second grader. A pipelineophile’s inside knowledge about the Darkside hacker …
Amtrak. Charles from Microsoft Security. Brian is a relationship expert with advice for Bill Gates. Brian dishes DisneyLand secrets: Pirates of the Caribbean, Thunder Mountain Railroad, Barry’s Edsel Adventure, It’s a …
Cable News Promo. Obituaries Desk. Real estate tips. Fixing the Oscars. Jack auditions: The Rural Doctor, The Invention of Dairy, Time Force.
The Bachelor. Space Go. Charities: Spay & Neuter Foundation, Little Brothers, Hey Judes Beatles Research Hospital, Doctors Without Barnes & Noble, Boys & Girls Club of Libya. Stories behind the songs on …
Fake Steak. Gastenica. Channel Seven Newsflash. Suicide Hotline. Board Games: COVID, Candy Land Revisited, New Uno, New Life, New Clue, New Chess. Hunter Biden Crime Spree. Jack auditions: Kong vs. Mothra, Eighth Avenue …
Everything is infrastructure. Tweender. New Scotland Yard! The truth behind other 60 Minutes stories. Dog-flipping for fun and profit. Who’s getting canceled.
Astro George. Lent sacrifices. Brian’s Florida-to-NYC road trip: Savannah, Fort Sumter, Marine Corps Museum. Housekeeping.
This Narrative is No Longer in Service. Painting Pros. The meaning behind several of Tony Bennett's songs. How the State of Washington D.C. will be different. Jack tries to land new sponsors.
Muppet Disclaimers. Prosti-Toots. Florida-NY road trip: Tampa Bay Buccaneers Memorial; Savannah’s Kevin Spacey Hunt; Murder Island; NC’s Fort Sumpin’ Sumpin’; Lepersville, Virginia. Entertainment Industry changes. The …
Di Costa Chicken Cheese. Fun Force recruiting. Brian knows Paul McCartney’s album. Harry & Meghan outtakes. Jack reads obituaries: Michael …
Dr. Seuss. Achievable Olympics. Ho Foods. Toy Equity Council: G.I. Joe, Rubik’s Cube, Viewmaster, Cabbage Patch Kids, Hot Wheels. Jack auditions: The Modern Artist, Incredible Hospital, Hunted by Vampires.
Chesney’s Outdoor Dining. Discount Impressions, LLC. Brian designs video games: Redhead Redemption, Mega Pimp, SimCity 2021, Legend of Zelda: Link Joins Q-Anon. Potential sponsors: Consuela’s Cantina, Bertelli & …
Miss Pipper’s Problematic Fun House. The CDC’s on the phone. Brian’s inexplicable contempt for Jack’s little boy. Talking to kids about the birds and the bees. The Super Koran. Director’s Cuts: Sophie’s Choice, The …
Law Firm for Morons. Jimmy’s Stock Market. Cat tumor redux. Brian is out-stocked by the kids. Jack auditions: The Lovers, Best Buddies, America Time Good Living.
All the Celebrities are in Us Magazine! Around the World with Lara-Me Construction Associates. Honest ad campaigns: Charmin, Captain Crunch, Trojan, Bush’s Beans, Kleenex. Jewish Space Lasers and other unknown …
Laid back fire department. Jack asks Brian about his screenplays: The Curious Case of Pat Sajack, Chutes & Ladders The Movie, I’m So Lonely, Wandering Hands, Piggy, Naughty Nurses IX. Brian needs to sabotage his …
Shit Tossers, for sensible parents. Floor consultants. Jack hates his cat but Brian can help with a printer and no conscience. Joe Biden’s newest …
Hablo Social Media App. Haphazard Landscaping, LLC. Really difficult school. It’s a Riot! Jack auditions.
Crashed cold open. Dreamslayers, for your last wishes. Germ-freak Jack is worried about Brian’s quarantine habits. Brian gets his annual backalley …
Kringle. Satan’s Village. Santa’s up to no good. ‘Tis really what ‘Twas is about. Solving Jack’s cat problem.
Everything Star Wars Store. Strange Response Syndrome. Hot Christmas gifts: Milton Bradley’s Tattoo Machine, Cat Warmer, Let Me Take Care Of Your Wife, Chinese Air Purifier, Prince’s Last Words. Brian the Christmas song …
Baker's Auto Body. Jack's going to Cali. Foreign movie titles. Sponsor bits. Vulgar child is lit. Modern Olympics.
Help for people exposed to things they don’t like. Affordable Amusement Park. Jack reads for potential sponsors. Interview with Steven Purell III, heir to the hand sanitizer dynasty.
The Law Offices of Sidney Powell and Only Sidney Powell. Katz & Katz. Pilgrim Funnies. Thankful. Eat Food Day explained. Listener mail.
Vaccine-a-Thon. A Thanksgiving gathering to fight tyranny. Black Friday (Schwarzer Freitag) tips and tricks. Aerosolized meth. Diamonds will protect …
Andrew Cuomo vanquishes COVID. Batshit Crazy Police Department. Pirate chest. Kiki the cat is a shredding menace. Arnold Palmer and the Golden …
Savings Riot. Clark’s Pet Palace and Bunny Hospice. Election still underway. Brian’s Chaos Candidate doesn’t even like to be on ballots. 20-sided die diplomacy. Misleading book title. The nuclear football is a baseball. …
Vote-By-Phone. Amazing sandwich. Earl of Sandwich. Celebrating the Holidays without friends or relatives. Jack’s car was broken into and he lost a …
Ugly Solar Panel Store. Jack has a chat with coronavirus, who’s back. Remote Learning II, the Sequel. Cough-in-Your-Mouth class. Mystery Needle. Ivy …
Allegedly Racist Irish Pub & Restaurant. Frank Caliendo pyramid scheme. Brian’s new bestseller will teach you to hate yourself. Brian's worried about Jack’s wife's bad back. Brian’s wife has a business idea that …
A sampling of favorite bits from the very first season of Questionable Material with Jack & Brian. Including: Favorite cold opens. Favorite …
Mean Sesame Streets. The Informational Times is a brand new paper that Brian has delivered to your house by force. Jack heard that Ruth Bader Ginsburg had even more dying wishes, and apparently Brian was there to hear …
Hump - The hook-up app that needs women. Jack needs tips on handling 9-year old boys. The real story behind great historical disasters: 1906 San …
Football is back! Brian’s is upset about the covered bridge genocide and is angry at Jack who loves bridges. Brian gave his gay friends terrible …
I Love Puppies Movement. Jack learns about Brian’s unpopular Kenosha Bed & Breakfast. Brian’s OnlyFans account can be topped. For her birthday, …
The newest leader of ISIS, Abu Ibrahim al-Hashemi al-Qurayshi, stops by to talk about violence, his doctorate in Women's Studies, and the new ISIS …
Belarus News Service. Jack going on vacation. Brian sold a house. New book on ferret mating tips. Yo Yo Ma vs. Yo Ma Ma. Brian has a hard time …
Biden inauguration. Jack has zero tech savvy and zero electricity. Brian knows what to do in a blackout. Brian is in Russia helping to develop a COVID-19 vaccine. The true story of Brian’s investment in a wine bar that …
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