Cover art for podcast Queen City Poly

Queen City Poly

45 EpisodesProduced by Coach Kay & Brian O'NeilWebsite

Queen City Poly is a podcast dedicated to connecting real people with real solutions for their relationship goals. Focused on communication, consent, and autonomy, we discuss polyamory and ethical non-monogamy as well as broader topics concerning open relationships of all structures and configuratio… read more

episodes iconAll Episodes

Ep. 45 - Biphobia within Polyamory

October 2nd, 2019


On episode 45, Brian O'Neil and Coach Kay discuss polyamorous folx who have sexual orientation "preferences" for their partners, gender "preferences" …

Ep. 44 - One Night Stands

September 18th, 2019


Brian O'Neil & Coach Kay discuss the general consensus among the polyamorous community (ha!) about one-night stands. They answer questions such …

Ep. 43 - Hierarchy

September 11th, 2019


On episode 43, Coach Kay and Brian O'Neil discuss prescriptive versus descriptive hierarchy, relationship anarchy, and a special form of hierarchy, …

Ep. 42 - Nesting Partners

September 4th, 2019


In episode 42, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay talk nesting partnerships and the assumptions that come having or not having partners who you cohabitate …

Ep. 41 - PDA and Polyamory

August 14th, 2019


You arrive to a bar and see your polyam partner in an embrace with a stranger. Their arms around this person's neck. This person's arms around your …

Ep. 40 - Communicating Non-Consent

August 7th, 2019


In episode 40, Brian O'Neil talks openly about being touched non-consensually following a recent standup gig after he talked about his polyamorous …

Ep. 39 - New is No Excuse

July 31st, 2019


In episode 39 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay discuss examples of “seasoned” polyamorous people accommodating newly polyamorous …

Ep. 38 - Polyamory Or My Marriage

July 24th, 2019


In Episode 38, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay talk about Brian's internet friend who is exploring the idea of polyamory but does not know how to get …

Ep. 37 - The Law of Fuck Yes or No

July 18th, 2019


In Episode 37, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay discuss Mark Manson’s blog article titled, Fuck Yes or No. The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you …

Ep. 36 - Communication Preferences and Compatibility

July 10th, 2019


In Episode 36, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay talk about how communications preferences impact compatibility, including: requiring daily communication, feelings regarding small talk, preferred communication modes …

Ep. 35 - A 'Throuple' Joins the Red Table

July 3rd, 2019


The unconventional path is windy one. Polyamory is a valid relationship style that is more than just having multiple sex partners. Monogamy is a …

Ep. 33 - Red Table Talk talks Infidelity with Esther Perel, and we LOVED it.

June 20th, 2019


On episode 33 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil & Coach Kay talk about the latest episode of Red Table Talk with Esther Perel. Watch the episode …

Ep. 32 - The Honeymoon Phase or Normal Behavior?

June 12th, 2019


A viral tweet from late last year that continues to recirculate states, “The honeymoon phase doesn’t exist when you fall for someone who is dedicated …

Ep. 31 - 17 Reasons Why I Want More Polyamorous Representation

June 5th, 2019


There are many reasons why we need more (and better) polyamorous representation. In episode 31, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kay discuss 17 of them! Do you …

Ep. 30 - I Just Don’t Want You to Get Hurt.

May 29th, 2019


It’s hard to stay out of the way and watch a person you love navigate the perilous dating scene, making decisions differently than you would. It can …

Ep. 29 - Polyamorous, but not actively dating…

March 13th, 2019


In episode 29, Coach Kaey and Brian O’Neil discuss how one manages their ethically non-monogamous identities while balancing all of their other goals and struggles of everyday life. When you are not actively dating (and …

Ep. 28 - Alzheimer’s and Non-Monogamy

February 13th, 2019


In episode 28 of Queen City Poly, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kaey share some news about finger guns in the Charlotte comedy scene as well as Brian’s …

Ep. 27 - Middle Ground

February 6th, 2019


Is it possible to love more than one person? What roles do jealousy and attraction play in relationships? What makes a relationship work? Jubilee …

Ep. 25 - Nothing Serious

January 23rd, 2019


Coach Kaey has been swiping right and now she has a question for Brian O’Neil. What exactly does, ‘I’m looking for casual, nothing serious’ mean?


Ep. 24 - What Was This Episode About?

January 16th, 2019


In episode 24, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kaey ramble with their coffee about sexual orientation, bi and pan erasure, same sex attraction, sexual confidence and compatibility, porn, consent, gender norms, religious …

Ep. 19 - You're Poly?

July 25th, 2018


In this episode, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kaey answer a listener question on how to handle a polyamorous-identified person that  doesn’t seem to want …

Ep. 18 - Who Pays?

July 18th, 2018


In episode 18, Coach Kaey and Brian discuss how they have managed money in previous relationships. Polyamorous or not, money and relationships …

Ep. 17 - Brian's Poly Anniversary

July 11th, 2018


In episode 17, Coach Kaey asks Brian to reflect on his two year anniversary of ethical non-monogamy. How have his views on love, relationships, sexuality, women, dependency, and more changed since he began his journey.

Ep. 16 - Meeting Metamours

July 4th, 2018


In episode 16, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kaey discuss the awkwardness of meeting your metamours. What's a metamour? A metamour is your partner’s partner. The duo tackles expectations when meeting a metamour and …

Ep. 15 - When Enough is Enough

June 27th, 2018


In episode 15, Brian O’Neil and Coach Kaey discuss when enough is enough in relationships. We all have our different reasons for leaving and for staying, but knowing our own boundaries and those of our partners is …

Ep. 14 - New Relationship Energy (NRE)

June 20th, 2018


In episode 14 of Queen City Poly, Brian O'Neil & Coach Kaey discuss New Relationship Energy (NRE), the strong, almost giddy feeling of excitement …

Ep. 13 - Catching Feelings

June 13th, 2018


Brian O’Neil and Coach Kaey celebrate a new chapter that is both exciting and terrifying. Brian O’Neil is still obsessed with where Lee surrendered to Grant during the Civil War and Coach Kaey still does not care. In …

Ep. 12 - Mental Health & Polyamory

June 6th, 2018


On episode 12 of Queen City Poly, Brian O'Neil and Coach Kaey discuss the importance of good self care when managing mental health illnesses and …

Ep. 11 - Ethics & Values

May 22nd, 2018


In episode 11, Brian O'Neil and Coach Kaey discuss their own ethics within their polyamorous relationships and potential deal breakers when it comes …

Ep. 10 - Input or Control?

May 2nd, 2018


How much input does/do your partner(s) have on your other relationships? As much as you let them…

Ep. 9 - WTF is Micro-Cheating?

April 16th, 2018


In episode 9 of Queen City Poly, Brian O'Neil and Coach Kaey discuss the term "micro cheating." What does it mean? Is it a thing? Should you care? …

Ep. 8 - The Boy Is Mine

February 20th, 2018


In this Valentine's Day inspired episode, Brian O'Neil & Coach Kaey invite you to travel back to the 90s and early 2000s and explore monogamous themes in some of their favorite throwback jams. 

We hope you enjoy! …

Ep. 7 - Infidelity

February 6th, 2018


Brian O’Neil & Coach Kaey discuss infidelity and go off on relationship tangents like a the Gemini Sun/Gemini Moon pair that they are. To know …

Ep. 6 - Challenging the Patriarchy

January 23rd, 2018


Brian O'Neil & Coach Kay discuss feminism and patriarchy and how men can help women/help with stigma associated with sexually liberated identities. Brian O'Neil reads Rudy Francisco's Poem ,“Altar,” and have a …

Ep. 5 - Coming Out

January 20th, 2018


In episode 5, Brian O'Neil and Coach Kay discuss the process of coming out as polyamorous and how it differs from the coming out process of LGBTQ …

Ep. 4 - Impermanence & Polyamory

January 20th, 2018


In episode 4, Brian O'Neil & Coach Kay discuss Buddhism, the concept of impermanence, and how that reality of life relates to relationships …

Ep. 3 - Poly Love, a Documentary - A Review

January 2nd, 2018


Brian O'Neil & Coach Kay review Poly Love, an 2016 documentary by Michelle Flores. Be warned, there are spoilers in this episode, so if you want …

Ep. 2 - Seeking Community

December 25th, 2017


Why is leaving a track of broken hearts is especially problematic in polyamorous dynamics? Multiple relationships is not an easy road of settling …

Ep. 1 - Welcome to Queen City Poly

December 22nd, 2017


Coach Kay & Brian O'Neil introduce themselves and kick off the first episode of Queen City Poly. In this episode, Coach Kay & Brian O'Neil

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