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Not By Accident

36 EpisodesProduced by Sophie HarperWebsite

I became a single mother by choice, not by accident. I’ve been recording our lives for seven years to tell this story, about making choices and taking action to live the life you want. If you’re a parent, want to be a parent, or just love good storytelling, this podcast is for you.


Ep 8: Leaving and Arriving

After my maternity leave, in 2014, we did move back to Denmark, just for 18 months. I did make it work, mostly, as a single mother with a demanding job, thanks to my incredible friends and colleagues. It was painful when we left them, your second family, but so worth it for you to know your grandparents, aunt and uncle, and your little cousins. There are three of them now. Nick met Nozomi soon after you were born, little Ibuki followed, and any day now, I mean I’m literally expecting the call, a fifth baby cousin will arrive!  But I'm jumping ahead. It’s December 2012, Denmark. I'm 7 months pregnant. As I eat my nightly 3am pancakes, I research basinets, baby baths, change tables and car capsules.  Work is busy and I'm not so light on my feet now. The documentary project, my other baby, is underway and I’m trying to manage logistics and offer some guidance to the students before they head off to shoot. Working with these courageous students, over years, seeing them make compelling films, has given me the courage and the drive to make this series. Students of the EFC, I owe you a debt of gratitude. I would not be doing this if it weren’t for everything you taught me. On the last day of school, in the morning, we have a staff Christmas event with gifts for everyone. I haven't anticipated that this is also a farewell for me. I'm given presents for my baby, and a speech, by the Principal, that is so moving, that I cannot speak to reply. It's hard to say goodbye. I don’t know if I'm coming back and so much of my heart is here. As I board the final flight to Sydney, I am thinking more and more of home, of the new life I'm about to start, and I'm feeling excited now.  I'm reunited with my family and meet my baby nephew Alexander for the first time. It's a year since I was last home. Life can change so much in a year. Another family Christmas, but this time with a two nephews, and you, so close.   Not By Accident is made by me, Sophie Harper. Thank you to my friends, my family, my former students and colleagues and my daughter for allowing me to record, for your endless support and for believing in me. It means the world.   Also a big thank you to the generous and talented Liz Tran of Blue Sky Designs, who has built me a beautiful new website, somehow, miraculously, while juggling a baby and a toddler. Hooray for Lea Thau and Strangers podcast! Not By Accident was featured on the latest episode. If you don’t already subscribe to Strangers, do it now. You won't be sorry. Please subscribe, rate and review to help the series find more listeners. Go to to sign up to my occasional email newsletter, tweet at me @byaccidentnot and if you know anyone who might like to listen, please share! Music from - CC NC License: Say Goodbye by Adrianna Krikl; Fuck It by Broke For Free; Readers! Do You Read? by Chris Zabriskie; Level 3 by ZhangJW.

US listeners, support the series and eat well. Hello Fresh Has signed on to support me for 2017! Sign up at and use the promo code 'noaccident35' to get $35 off your first delivery. Everybody wins!

Go to to find out more about the series or to get in touch.

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