My Opening Line

39 EpisodesProduced by My Opening Line, Starburns Audio

Hosts Keith and Chemda (of Keith and The Girl) ask comedian friends and performers about their first time on stage. Listen to popular comics telling embarrassing stories of their first performances as they share some of their most terrible opening lines, awkward executions, and epic fails.

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38: Josh Gondelman's First Time

April 5th, 2019


From his big break in The Music Man to being a multiple Emmy and Peabody award winner, Josh Gondelman regales us with stories on his school musical …

37: Dan Hartley's First Time

March 15th, 2019


Actor, writer, and producer Dan Hartley shares his career stories including his first stage performance at age 10, humiliating himself in front of Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, and being his own stunt man on Law & …

36: Sean Patton's First Time

March 8th, 2019


Whether it's being born in The Big Easy (New Orleans), talking about his bathroom habits (wiping with dryer sheets), performing his first set (after drinking half a pitcher of Jack and Coke), working as a professional …

35: Dante Nero's First Time

January 21st, 2019


Dante Nero talks about how he leveraged his (male) stripper work into a stand-up comedy career. From his introduction and close friendship with Patrice O’Neal to starting the podcast that took his career to the next …

34: Jesse Joyce's First Time

December 24th, 2018


Jesse Joyce, writer for the Oscars and Comedy Central Roasts, discusses his very first jokes as a child, alcoholism, and discovering stand-up. Jesse …

33: Jon Laster's First Time

December 23rd, 2018


Jon Laster, comedian and actor, talks Def Jam, roast battles, and where it all began. The gang discusses legacy, the reason Eddie Murphy quit stand-up, the death of an absentee dad, and the joy of making your mom smile. …

32: Frank Liotti’s First Time

December 22nd, 2018


Frank Liotti joins Keith and Chemda to talk about his acting and stand-up career. They talk about the rarity of getting to see comedy performances as a kid, misunderstandings coming from people always assuming comics …

31: Shane Mauss's First Time

October 29th, 2018


Shane Mauss, comedian who made it to national television by year 3, shares his ups, downs, and secrets to success. From him calling up his local club and saying, “I want to be a comic,” to headlining, to late night TV …

30: Paul Hooper's First Time

October 5th, 2018


Road Dog Paul Hooper is this episode’s guest. After visiting 10 countries and 42 U.S. states, Paul talks about life as a comedian on the road for …

29: Mehran Khaghani's First Time

September 21st, 2018


The hilarious and energetic Mehran Khaghani joins us to talk about his beginnings as well as his confrontations with Joe Rogan and Roseanne Barr. The …

28: Abbi Crutchfield's First Time

August 30th, 2018


Abbi Crutchfield shares how it all started, including her cultivating her own comedy… group? club? in college. Abbi talks with Keith and Chemda about …

27: Mark Douglas's First Time

August 17th, 2018


Mark Douglas is the creator of the extremely popular YouTube channel The Key of Awesome, which has over 5.4 million subscribers. The channel features …

26: Mike Lawrence's First Time

August 3rd, 2018


Roast Battle Grand Champion Mike Lawrence worked at McDonald's for 7 years before landing multiple TV appearances. Mike discusses the effects of …

25: Carmen Lynch's First Time

July 21st, 2018


Carmen Lynch talks about being in the Top 20 on Last Comic Standing within 2 years of performing stand-up before regaling us with stories of how she learned the secrets of stand-up comedy, her attendance at a Learning …

24: Lucie Pohl's First Time

July 13th, 2018


Overwatch’s Mercy joins us to talk about her break in theater, television, and one of the biggest video games of all time. Lucie Pohl talks about her …

23: Bonnie McFarlane's First Time

July 6th, 2018


Bonnie McFarlane talks about starting her comedy career in Canada, making her way to clubs in the U.S., and the differences between the audiences in the two countries. From her first time on stage to her first moment on …

22: Jimmy Pardo's First Time

June 29th, 2018


Jimmy Pardo, host of Never Not Funny, talks about what he experienced in 30 years of stand-up , from soup to nuts. Jimmy covers the fear of the art form, the secret to success, the audacity of it all, and advice on how …

21: Allison Raskin's First Time

June 23rd, 2018


Allison Raskin, of Just Between Us and the comedic soap opera GOSSIP, talks about getting fired from her improv group, her #MeToo moment, and leaving …

20: Julian McCullough's First Time

June 9th, 2018


TV regular and stand-up veteran Julian McCullough discusses his first times on stage including when he performed stand-up immediately after seating …

19: Graham Elwood's First Time

June 1st, 2018


Comedy Film Nerds’ Graham Elwood visits NYC to talk about his stand-up beginnings that include Judd Apatow and Doritos, and we have the tape! Graham discusses the lows that included bankruptcy and divorce as well as the …

18: Chris Mancini’s First Time

May 25th, 2018


Today we visit with Comedy Film Nerds’ Chris Mancini, and we talk the beginning of podcasting and the early mistakes. We discuss his start in stand-up, his experience managing a comedy club, and what’s more important to …

17: Jeff Meacham's First Time

May 11th, 2018


Actor Jeff Meacham is doing very well with the show Black-ish, but, before that, Keith and Chemda worked with him as children’s party entertainers. We catch up with Jeff and go over his rise to success, the scary …

16: Nick Thune's First Time

May 5th, 2018


Comic and musician Nick Thune lets us know where and how it all began, the differences between comedy music and regular music to those in the …

15: Gaby Dunn's First Time

April 28th, 2018


Actress, writer, and comedian Gaby Dunn discusses her first times in the spotlight. Yes, she has a massive following and videos with millions of …

14: Dan Soder's First Time

April 21st, 2018


While selling the radio station records he was supposed to be playing, Dan Soder painfully learned how to write jokes, saw how alcoholism affected …

13: Ted Alexandro's First Time

April 14th, 2018


25-year stand-up veteran Ted Alexandro talks about breaking out from a stand-up duo and going solo to begin his illustrious career as well as sharing …

12: Gilbert Gottfried's First Time

April 7th, 2018


Legend Gilbert Gottfried covers his first times in comedy while sharing his need for attention and being raised by television. The gang covers Gilbert’s early impressions, his breaks on TV, and the time Jerry Seinfeld …

11: Alia Janine's First Time

March 24th, 2018


Comedian Alia Janine not only talks about her first time performing stand-up, which happened to be with Andrew Dice Clay, but she talks about other firsts as well, including her first dance as a stripper, her first time …

10: Kevin Allison's First Time

March 17th, 2018


Kevin Allison, from MTV’s The State and host of the Risk! podcast, shares his monumental firsts on stage. From his first time performing with members of The State (with no clothes on), to his first catastrophic …

9: Christian Finnegan's First Time

March 10th, 2018


Fletcher Christian Finnegan, Comedy Central staple and veteran stand-up comedian, talks about his performing debut at NYC's alternative art house Surf Reality, the same place where Keith and Chemda first met. Christian …

8: Myq Kaplan's First Time

March 3rd, 2018


Myq Kaplan has had many successes in comedy from competitions like Last Comic Standing, @midnight, and America's Got Talent to his late-night sets and live comedy tours around the world. Listen to this episode about his …

7: Ruby Karp's First Time

February 24th, 2018


Wunderkind Ruby Karp, who was featured in a video on feminism with Amy Poehler at age 7, performed a TED Talk at age 12, and wrote a book at age 16, …

6: Laurie Kilmartin's First Time

February 17th, 2018


Emmy-nominated New York Times bestseller Laurie Kilmartin tells us when she first learned the shocking news that comedians don’t actually perform off the cuff onstage. With that knowledge at hand, and after seeing …

5: Ophira Eisenberg's First Time

February 10th, 2018


NPR host and award-winning storyteller Ophira Eisenberg joins us to talk about her very first time on stage. Was the $300 for the stand-up class a scam? The teacher said she had great stage presence, sooo...

4: Matteo Lane's First Time

February 3rd, 2018


With a little burlesque, some comedy, and a hint of opera, Matteo Lane finds his way to his opening line. Find out what Matteo’s first time doing stand-up was like in this episode.

3: Adam Conover's First Time

January 27th, 2018


When Adam first did stand-up, he chose to play a character of a tree doctor who healed trees while hating bushes. He was in a taco restaurant at an anything-goes open mic. Except this didn’t go. At all.

2: Jared Freid's First Time

January 27th, 2018


Jared’s first time doing stand-up was at an open-mic known for being super supportive of new performers. Unfortunately, his act was the least supported ever. Find out why in this episode.

1: Emma Willmann's First Time

January 27th, 2018


Emma tells her never-before-heard story of the actual first time she performed stand-up. It involved making sure her guests got more drunk than they …

0: Keith Malley's First Time

January 10th, 2018


In this intro-episode, Keith describes how he didn’t understand stand-up protocol and asked to perform for the first time at an already booked comedy …

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