Cover art for podcast Imaginary Advice

Imaginary Advice

84 EpisodesProduced by Imaginary AdviceWebsite

A miscellany of stories, written and presented by Ross Sutherland.

episodes iconAll Episodes

81 Snowman Emoji [6TH BIRTHDAY EPISODE]

December 4th, 2020

22:54

The podcast celebrates its six-year anniversary by ruining a party, cutting up all the mail, then flipping a kilogram of cocaine

To support the podcast, goto:
https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

80 The Outsider / Pterodactyls (feat. Emmy the Great)

November 23rd, 2020

1:13:51

A special bumper collaborative episode with musician Emma-Lee Moss AKA Emmy the Great.

Golden House Walkthrough Guide: https://bit.ly/TGHGuide

Episode …

The Golden House (Episode 6)

October 5th, 2020

9:42

The final part of our puzzle miniseries, THE GOLDEN HOUSE.

“These six episodes were originally broadcast between September 2018 and January 2019. They …

The Golden House (Episode 5)

October 5th, 2020

17:26

The penultimate part of our puzzle miniseries, THE GOLDEN HOUSE.

“These six episodes were originally broadcast between September 2018 and January …

The Golden House (Episode 4)

September 28th, 2020

18:13

Our six-part puzzle miniseries, THE GOLDEN HOUSE continues...

"These six episodes were originally broadcast between September 2018 and January 2019. …

The Golden House (Episode 3)

September 21st, 2020

24:15

The next instalment of our six-part puzzle miniseries, THE GOLDEN HOUSE, written by Ross Sutherland.

"These six episodes were originally broadcast …

The Golden House (Episode 2)

September 14th, 2020

20:56

The next instalment of our special six-part puzzle miniseries, THE GOLDEN HOUSE, written by Ross Sutherland

"These six episodes were originally …

The Golden House (Intro / Episode 1)

September 7th, 2020

27:46

A new six-part miniseries, dropping weekly over September & October:
THE GOLDEN HOUSE

"These six episodes were originally broadcast between …

73 Ten Thousand Years (Part 2)

August 4th, 2020

55:28

(This episode follows on directly from the essay in episode 72)

Ross invites four artists to help him rewrite the film Groundhog Day. In the original …

72 Ten Thousand Years (Part 1)

August 4th, 2020

33:31

Ross Sutherland revisits Harold Ramis’s 1994 comedy Groundhog Day to see whether the film feels different in 2020 (essay).

To support Imaginary Advice …

71 Sex and the City: The Return (Part 2)

June 30th, 2020

1:07:46

The concluding part of IA's audio fiction miniseries.

To support Imaginary Advice on Patreon:
www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

Imaginary Advice is represented by Trigger

Includes samples from:

Revenge
by Daniel Birch
from …

70 Sex and the City: The Return (Part 1)

May 14th, 2020

54:15

A vast immersive theatre show (inspired by the TV show "Sex and the City") is constructed in the centre of New York. (Part 1 of 2).

To support Imaginary Advice on Patreon:
www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

Imaginary Advice …

69 The Air Year (feat. Caroline Bird)

April 3rd, 2020

29:22

An extract from poet Caroline Bird's new collection, The Air Year. Also: Ross Sutherland escapes into his sound effects library.

To purchase The Air …

68 Birthday in Shenyang

March 7th, 2020

10:23

British rapper and poet Michael Riccardi (aka Mixy) is currently living in Shenyang, China. For his birthday, Mixy breaks quarantine in search of a beer. Produced by Ross Sutherland.

67 Black Eye (w/ Abi Palmer)

February 21st, 2020

1:09:43

Ross Sutherland and poet Abi Palmer collaborate on a modernisation of Francis Godwin's 1638 science-fiction novel The Man in the Moone.

Warning: …

66 Exquisite Corpse(with Clive Desmond)

January 21st, 2020

48:11

Taking inspiration from the surrealist game "Exquisite Corpse", Ross Sutherland and Clive Desmond (Pod Planet) collaborate on an audio programme …

65 We Are Legion (feat Neil Maskell)

December 16th, 2019

20:25

A secret burial at sea, and the nightmares that come after.

Story written by Ally Gipps. Read by Laurie Bolger and Neil Maskell.
Music / produced by …

64 Dream Your Way to a Happier You

November 16th, 2019

34:33

A series of altered hypnosis cassettes tell the story of a toxic relationship.

Support the programme on Patreon: www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

Written & produced by Ross Sutherland. Hypnosis Programme Narrator: …

63 Tony Gang Flame War (5TH BIRTHDAY EPISODE)

October 13th, 2019

32:34

Imaginary Advice turns five with a special episode about pyromancy, punk rock, and the novelisation of RUMBLE IN THE BRONX.

Imaginary Advice is represented by Trigger, supported by Arts Council England in partnership …

62 Classic Boxing Narrative (feat. Rob Auton)

September 5th, 2019

33:53

A traditional heroic tale of two boxers, one ring. Featuring extracts from Rob Auton's "The Time Show" (robauton.co.uk)

If you'd like to support Imaginary Advice with a small monthly donation goto

61 Mise en Abyme (with Luke Kennard)

July 13th, 2019

18:24

Artworks within artworks within artworks. Featuring new poetry from Luke Kennard

60 Mark Can't Rap / "Ab"

June 10th, 2019

1:00:54

The first two episodes of "Mark Can't Rap", a new podcast series by Mark Grist. Mark sets out to teach himself the fundamentals of rap, through conversations with British MCs.

Intermission: "Ab" - a piece on the …

59 Scarecrow

May 12th, 2019

20:11

A new short story by Tim Clare.
Tim's new novel The Ice House is out now:
https://canongate.co.uk/books/2531-the-ice-house/

58 Party on Earth 2.0

April 8th, 2019

21:47

Ross transforms a word-search into a story about a house party. Score written by Jeremy Warmsley https://jeremywarmsley.bandcamp.com/

57 Haunt Your Own House

March 8th, 2019

40:48

Part one: Ross tries to re-establish his home town as the most haunted village in England (originally broadcast on Short Cuts, Radio 4)
Part two: Ross explains the plot of Lovejoy
Part three: Ross explores the phenomenon …

56 HORSE FACTS

February 12th, 2019

45:18

Wouldn't it be great if you could listen to podcasts ALL THE TIME FOREVER AND EVER?

If you'd like to support Imaginary Advice, goto

55 The Other Ross Sutherland

December 26th, 2018

14:23

Ross Sutherland shares the same name as a Scottish Rugby team. If he searches for his name on Twitter, he tends to find a bunch of teenagers talking about murdering him at the weekend.
Taken from a live show in …

54 One More Song

December 12th, 2018

38:49

Two people putting their faith in music:

Part One: Ross resurrects an old writing exercise to find his way out of writer's block, assisted by Magic …

53 Make It Real

October 29th, 2018

32:19

Ross explores the craft of storytelling in the British professional wrestling scene.

(Originally broadcast on Radio 4. Produced by Eleanor McDowell for Falling Tree productions)

52 The Man Who Saw Tomorrow [4TH BIRTHDAY EPISODE]

September 27th, 2018

59:24

Ross finds something in an old box of cassette tapes, and sets out to finish a story he started a long long time ago.

Imaginary Advice needs your …

51 After This

August 22nd, 2018

35:37

Ross presents two stories on the afterlife:

1/ Hollywood Forever. Ross investigates the resting place of forgotten actors at London’s Cinema Museum …

50 Four or Five Weddings and One or Two Funerals

July 21st, 2018

45:42

Featuring guest John Osborne. Ross and John retell the making of Four Weddings and a Funeral, in wildly conflicting styles.

Thanks for listening! To support Imaginary Advice on Patreon, goto:

49 Re: The Moon

June 15th, 2018

25:00

Ross tries to get people to look at the moon. Part one: an essay on the the moon's special place in poetry. Part two: a school tries to stop its …

23 Nice My Selector (repeat)

June 4th, 2018

24:17

(Repeat)A love story on the dancefloor. Remixed for 2018!

6 "Episode One" (repeat)

May 31st, 2018

16:27

(Repeat) A man who spends his entire life trying to make a single podcast episode about the Baldwin brothers.

17 Six House Parties (repeat)

May 28th, 2018

20:09

(Repeat episode) A rivalry, told across six fancy dress parties.

48 Naked People Have More Explaining To Do

May 14th, 2018

22:55

Ross presents four love poems. Poems are "Here", "Nude", "Things To Do Before You Finally Leave Town" and "The End of our Marriage".

Also includes a special intermission on sport.

Consider supporting the podcast on …

47 Me Versus The Spar (Parts 1 to 7)

April 3rd, 2018

31:33

Ross Sutherland tries to expunge a bad memory by rewriting it over and over.

46 Incantations

February 26th, 2018

22:30

Ross Sutherland explores the relationship between cinema, poetry and magic.

45 S.E.I.N.F.E.L.D.

January 15th, 2018

26:40

Ross Sutherland tries to train a neural net to do stand-up comedy.

To support the podcast through Patreon, goto:
https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

43 Exorcist Martin Cole

October 31st, 2017

50:24

Ross presents a special ghost story for Halloween: a young priest discovers the true relationship between Art and the Devil.

NB. This story is a …

Imaginary Advice: Live in London (Tues 7th Nov '17)

October 11th, 2017

2:14

Special announcement! I'll be doing a live show at Battersea Art Centre on Tuesday 7th November.

For more details, check the Imaginary Advice Facebook group, or go to www.bac.org.uk

42 Missing Episode Commentary Track [3RD BIRTHDAY EP]

October 11th, 2017

39:36

For the third birthday of Imaginary Advice, Ross Sutherland presents a commentary track for his BBC2 TV programme, Missing Episode.

Watch the programme on iPlayer (throughout October 2017)

41 In Which I Confess to Many Murders

August 28th, 2017

23:11

In place of a regular episode, Ross presents five new poems. Discover the rich history of blue rectangles, take an octopus onto the streets of …

40 The Sutherland Dunthorne Luck Index (featuring Joe Dunthorne)

August 3rd, 2017

19:17

Ross takes author Joe Dunthorne to a casino.

Support the Imaginary Advice podcast through Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

For more info, go to www.imaginaryadvice.com

39 I Heart 1984

July 12th, 2017

21:18

Ross exploits feelings of nostalgia with a poorly remembered celebration of the year 1984. Afterwards, he reads a depressing children's story about a boy who can look 180 degrees behind him.

38 Scooby Doo & The Black Sea of Infinity (w/ Tim Clare)

June 5th, 2017

19:02

Ross talks to author Tim Clare about how storytelling can be used in the face of nihilism. Meanwhile, Mystery Inc ends up trapped inside an HP Lovecraft story.

To support the podcast through Patreon, goto

37 Dear Chris

May 10th, 2017

17:35

After 36 episodes, the podcast finally gets around to offering some advice. Featuring guest writer Chris Hicks (McSweeneys)

36 Science For Wankers

April 10th, 2017

51:09

Ross Sutherland explores the relationship between science and storytelling. Contains the poem 'Experiment To Determine the Existence of Love' and a new TV show pitch for Dr Brian Cox.

I really want Imaginary Advice to …

35 Violence Makes Any Story Real

March 7th, 2017

10:59

Ross Sutherland tells the story of the time he accidentally became a storyline in a UK wrestling promotion.

Originally broadcast on Radio 4's Short Cuts for Falling Tree productions.

34 Exorcist Dave Stewart (Pt 2)

February 2nd, 2017

49:56

An exorcist faces the toughest case of his career in a new story by Ross Sutherland (part 2 of 2)

33 Exorcist Dave Stewart (Pt 1)

January 9th, 2017

23:32

An exorcist faces the toughest case of his career in a new story by Ross Sutherland (part 1 of 2).

Support the podcast through Patreon! Donate $5 or more and receive a secret bonus episode.
www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

32 Jerusalem + 7

December 26th, 2016

16:24

Ross Sutherland rewrites Jerusalem, in collaboration with Golden Age of Steam and composer Matthew Kaner.

Listen to the full BBC episode here:

31 You Can't Go Home Again [2ND BIRTHDAY EPISODE]

November 22nd, 2016

43:33

For a special second birthday episode, Ross Sutherland records a correspondence with poet Aaron Kent. Having stopped writing poetry in recent years, Ross tries to use the space to revisit his love of verse. Ross tries …

30 One Track Minds

November 3rd, 2016

18:15

This month, in a crossover with the One Track Minds podcast, Ross discusses his favourite song of all time. Recorded live at the Tabernacle in October 2016.

For more about One Track Minds, goto

29 Casino Exit

September 17th, 2016

46:34

Ross Sutherland tells the story of his time working in a casino.

Support the podcast through Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

Come watch my new palindromic play, PARTY TRAP at Shoreditch Town Hall:

28 If Hitler

July 30th, 2016

37:59

Ross Sutherland talks about using Hitler to win arguments.

To support the podcast, go to https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland
to pledge a small monthly donation.

27 The Artist As A Viable Alternative To Death

June 23rd, 2016

12:35

A short extract from Ross McCleary's new book, available to order from Maudlin House in July. Use the code ARTIST20 for a 20% discount on the book.

To …

26 Duck Family in Abandoned Fairground

May 21st, 2016

50:14

Ross Sutherland mashes together the themes of two previous episodes, creating a brand new story about a dystopian theme park.

Support the podcast through Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

More info on …

25 Hug Freddy

April 19th, 2016

33:46

Ross Sutherland talks about dreams and the things they fail to teach us.

Consider supporting the podcast through Patreon! It'll help keep this going: https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

This year, we're releasing a …

24 Repeat After Me

March 15th, 2016

35:13

Ross Sutherland explores the consequences of repeating ourselves. With readings from Ryan Wan Winkle and Janice Acquah.

Support the podcast through Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

Listen to the Joe Muggs …

23 Nice My Selector

February 8th, 2016

25:18

Ross Sutherland presents a love story between a DJ and his number one fan.

Support the podcast though Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

For more info on Ross' upcoming theatre tour:

22 "You Just Won The Game"

January 10th, 2016

40:42

Ross Sutherland reveals a brand new zodiac based on the videogame Street Fighter 2.

Visit the Penned in the Margins website to download a book of all twelve sonnets for free:

21 "Gooey Soporific Blurg" [FIRST BIRTHDAY EPISODE]

November 30th, 2015

26:29

Celebrating the first birthday of Imaginary Advice, Ross Sutherland leaves the comfort of his wardrobe and takes a walk into Peterborough, in the hope that an episode will just "happen" along the way. Also featuring the …

20 The Questions John Humphrys Cannot Ask

November 6th, 2015

9:06

Ross Sutherland remixes an episode of Radio 4's 'The Today Programme' into poetry. Also: the least inspired DJ set of all time.

19 BLXVGHCFGX

October 8th, 2015

9:10

Ross Sutherland spends National Poetry Day mashing keyboards with a class of seven-year olds

18 Infinite Non-Linear Break-Up Speech

September 16th, 2015

20:44

Ross Sutherland explains the background to a new poetry project that uses the mp3 shuffle function to create an endlessly regenerating poem.

Download the album for free at
https://rosssutherland.bandcamp.com/

17 Six House Parties

August 18th, 2015

17:58

Ross Sutherland takes you through six house parties. To support the podcast, go to imaginaryadvice.tumblr.com

16 In the Beginning

July 28th, 2015

42:57

(Story starts at 7min mark)
A love story told through the eyes of an astronomer. What use is Carl Sagan to a man about to lose his family forever? …

15 The Underground Kingdom

July 7th, 2015

8:06

Ross Sutherland visits the secret tunnels that run under Disneyworld.

14 My Belated Review of "The Matrix: Reloaded"

June 15th, 2015

25:12

Once upon a time, Ross Sutherland was sent to review the second Matrix film for a UK magazine. That night turned out to be the most embarrassing night of his life. Consequently, the review was never written. Now, twelve …

13 The Black Album By Jay-Z (remixed as a short story)

May 30th, 2015

14:35

Ross Sutherland remixes Jay-Z acapellas into a brand new short story. Lost inside the Tate Modern, a nine year old boy uses The Black Album as an …

12 The Night Before The Battle Of The Bands

April 15th, 2015

15:46

Ross Sutherland presents a story about a whole lot of bodies in a very small town. Originally written to accompany the new Summer Camp album, "Bad …

11 Answer In The Form Of A Question

March 30th, 2015

20:13

Ross Sutherland tells the story of watching an IBM supercomputer compete on Jeopardy.

10 Fake Penis Memory Implants

March 9th, 2015

19:04

Ross Sutherland presents two pieces of science-fiction: poem "The Circus" and short-story "The Hand".

9 Are You A Member Of Wash Club?

February 18th, 2015

10:30

Ross Sutherland tells the story of how he invented a secret society by accident.

8 Welcome to the Big House

February 9th, 2015

26:05

Ross Sutherland tells a true story about teaching poetry in prison. Also: a children's poem about shoes.

7 All Outcomes Are Positive, Even If Not Desired (Found Text Special)

January 24th, 2015

22:30

Ross Sutherland presents a series of "found" poems. Contains text stolen from IMDB, the obituary pages, an old journal and Johnny Cash's audiobook of …

6 "Episode One"

January 14th, 2015

17:10

Ross Sutherland presents a monologue about a man trying to record a podcast. The Baldwin brothers feature heavily.

5 Twas The Nightmare Before CROM

December 22nd, 2014

10:30

Ross Sutherland uses a dictionary to rewrite "Twas The Night Before Christmas"

4 Bart Simpson Carnival Balloon

December 12th, 2014

22:11

Ross Sutherland postpones christmas cheer to talk about two near-death experiences.

3 A Doctor With A Gun Heals Parts Other Doctors Cannot Reach

November 28th, 2014

19:39

Ross Sutherland shares some reviews of made-up art, disseminated during the Liverpool Biennial. Also: a monologue by a haunted abstract painting.

2 Wee City Of Porcelain, Poll-Tax, Kestrels, And Billy Bragg Cassettes

November 13th, 2014

11:50

Host Ross Sutherland attempts to uncover the true story behind the film Braveheart.

1 Crying At The Back Of An Ed Byrne Show

October 26th, 2014

17:11

Host Ross Sutherland tells the story of the worst job he was ever offered.

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