Here's My Thing

381 EpisodesProduced by John Roussos

My journey to becoming a fine storyteller.

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I'm a Savage

July 16th, 2019


Someone went through another coffee punch card. This one in only 10 days (4 below my average). 

Vegan? MMC #55

July 15th, 2019


I used to think the terms "vegetarian" and "vegan" were condescending ways to describe the health of your colon.

Chapter 1: Coming to terms

Chapter …

The Bachelor

July 11th, 2019


I want to be able to say, "I'm baching it", but I'm not quite there yet.  I'm in my twenties, single, I live alone and in an apartment, but I have no spoiled milk, no takeout Chinese food, or no half-eaten yogurt in my …

The Cadillac Escalade

July 10th, 2019


The Escalade, Ed Hardy Clothing, and a 5th grade crush. 

Baggy, Black Cargo Pants

July 9th, 2019


I'll admit it, the desire for these pants was influenced by Travis Scott.  However, I let that desire marinate in a crockpot for about a year,  only …

Monday Morning Commute #54

July 8th, 2019


Talking a new apartment and shower curtain selection. Enjoy! And let me know what you think of the intro - trying something new!

Song: Blessed …

Hiking and Me

July 5th, 2019


My thoughts on hiking.  I don't like it, but it hasn't always been this way. I use to like hiking, however in all fairness, I liked it due to the …

Who is Jenn?

July 4th, 2019


Apparently she makes Portuguese Muffins and I can find her on Instagram? I'm all for ambiguity, but this was a bit much. 

Iceberg Lettuce

July 3rd, 2019


Too easy to belittle. Besides the fact that there is no nutritional value, iceberg lettuce can't be found in the trendy juices that come in unlabeled cups from farmer's markets.  But I've got a soft spot for it. I think …

Cunning or Charming - #12 of the Select 12

July 2nd, 2019


A story about gaining admission to a club without a ticket.

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The Greatest Thing Southwest Airlines Has Ever Done - #11 of the Select 12

July 1st, 2019


One word: kiosk. 

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The Man on the Seated Stationary Bike - #10 of the Select 12

June 28th, 2019


This episode takes place at the gyn.  I was warming up before my workout when I came across this man.  He was sitting in on a stationary bike, …

Monday Morning Commute #16 - #9 of the Select 12

June 27th, 2019


One of the longer episodes, this Monday Morning Commute ranks the Big 4 (McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, and Carls Jr) by their hamburgers. 

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Very Expensive Photoshoot - #8 of the Select 12

June 26th, 2019


I got dinged $270 for "running a red light". $270. Two-hundred and seventy dollars. For $270 I don't want one blurry photo of me "running a red …

San Pellegrino - #7 of the Select 12

June 25th, 2019


Where some parents may give their kids tap water or gatorade, I'm going to give my kids San Pellegrino at their sporting events. I like that energy. 

More Rooftop Decks, Please - #6 of the Select 12

June 24th, 2019


So many roofs.  There are so many. But so few open themselves up for a rooftop deck. The pinnacle of social interaction. Not to mention, at higher …

Craft Beer Pressure - #5 of the Select 12

June 21st, 2019


PSA: It's okay to not like craft beer!!! If you don't like an IPA, you don't have to be ashamed. I'm all about an ice cold - it has to be ice cold - …

French Fantasy - #4 of the Select 12

June 20th, 2019


This entire episode was inspired by the movie "Ratatouille". This is my French fantasy. 

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#NoPhoneInLineChallenge - #3 of the Select 12

June 19th, 2019


This was my attempt at building an #InMyFeelingsChallenge.

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Overcompensating Cream Cheese - #2 of the Select 12

June 18th, 2019


There needs to be a limit on the amount of cream cheese applied to a bagel. It was out of hand when this was record and it is still out of hand.

Succulents - #1 of the Select 12

June 17th, 2019


This is the first ever episode of the Here's My Thing podcast. Only fitting that it's the first of the Select 12 that will be deployed from June …


June 14th, 2019


I like a nice hotbox, but probably not the one you're thinking of. 

Ice Me Out

June 13th, 2019


This one song takes me out of my room and into the back of a Wraith.

The Laundromat

June 12th, 2019


I went to my first laundromat the other day.  Coin laundry.  Here's how it went down. 
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Monday Morning Commute #53

June 10th, 2019


The fire, the then the most flattering/accurate stereotype, new mic.


June 7th, 2019


From a poor experience to a tremendous experience. 12 years apart. This is the boba episode. 

Cottage Cheese

June 6th, 2019


People don't buy Cottage Cheese to eat it.  They buy it to slowly but surely push it to the back their fridge and NOT forget about it, but instead neglect it. 

Great Illustrated Classics

June 5th, 2019


These books looked like they were 300+ pages, but they were actually only 235-250, but they read like they were 125.  

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From The Neck Down

June 4th, 2019


A story within a story.

I've tried to do this episode multiple times but was never able to. It's weird I feel like I've done it though, but I may be …

Monday Morning Commute #52

June 3rd, 2019


Everyone for this episode of the Monday Morning Commute I walk you through a bad date that I went on.  I break it down in 4 acts: 1. The Match 2. Pre-Date 3. Date 4. Post-Date.  The date itself really wasn't as bad as …

Option 1, 2, or 3

May 31st, 2019


My moral compass was tested at the drive-thru of the hottest burger joint in town. 

Tic Tacs

May 30th, 2019


The Tic Tac. Not a mint. Not a candy. Not something in between. I'm not sure what tic tacs are. The only sensible solution that I can come to is that …

The Substitute Teacher

May 29th, 2019


15-minutes of an uninterrupted, magnificent, impromptu monologue that had absolutely no context to the class. It was one of the greatest academic …

Thumbs Up

May 28th, 2019


A certain situation prompted that I firm the mechanics of a legitimate thumbs up. 

Monday Morning Commute #51

May 27th, 2019


The KOMBUCHA episode! It's here. Topics discussed: lightning-struck kombucha, CBD, a farmers market.

Nice Warm Hand Wash

May 24th, 2019


A nice warm hand wash is equivalent to 1/4 of an orgasm.

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A Lifestyle Blogger and a Bag of Burgers

May 23rd, 2019


A vision spawned by way of a 10-second snapchat story from a lifestyle blogger.

The Jeans and Flip Flops Combo

May 22nd, 2019


An Iconic look.  My favorite body type for it?  A 43-year old man. The most important part is that there has to be a gray area as to where his …

There's a Better Way

May 21st, 2019


Imagine a reality where your bagel with butter from a coffee shop didn't come in a wax-paper sleeve with butter wrapped in tin foil and a plastic knife to boot. 

Monday Morning Commute #50

May 20th, 2019


- 0:00 Intro 

- 3:31 Meeting a world champion


May 17th, 2019


There was a period of time where I wanted my parents to call me Ryan.  

Getting Your Ass Kicked

May 16th, 2019


I start off the episode with some Ira Glass-energy, prefacing the episode for some curse words. And yes, this is technically the first Here's My Thing episode that has a curse word. The word is "ass" so is it really a …

Blast From The Past

May 15th, 2019


A banana brought me back to 1998

Car Talk

May 14th, 2019


This episode is impromptu. It was inspired by a delayed flight, a cell lot, and second-hand listening to "Car Talk".  Enjoy!

Monday Morning Commute #49

May 13th, 2019


- 0:00 Intro

- 1:46 It was hot

- 3:07 Summer camps

Good Afternoon

May 10th, 2019


One of the best afternoons in recent memory. Pizza, Walgreens, 5 acres of lawn.

Pretty Lady

May 9th, 2019


A tunafish sandwich, a pretty lady, and a ring. 

Mesh Athletic Shorts

May 8th, 2019


I value mesh athletic shorts. I do.  I'm not sure why professional sports organizations exiled them in 2008, but all I know is that action has almost given these shorts vintage energy. 


May 7th, 2019


We have self-lacing shoes, but not self-zipping pants. What am I missing?  How does that make sense? XYZ.

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Monday Morning Commute #48

May 6th, 2019


- 0:00 Intro 

- 2:34 Epic Contest

- 6:13 NBA player's brother eats steak cooked well-done 

- 10:47 Best looking player in the NBA

- 11:04 Yelling in a coffee shop

Ice Cream Sundae

May 3rd, 2019


The only places you can get ice cream sundaes in 2019 are at McDonald's and your cousin's house. 

Tummy Pillows

May 2nd, 2019


I love a tummy pillow. Where the classic pillow is Usain Bolt, the tummy pillow is Ashton Eaton. Very elite, does a lot of things well, but isn't …

Modern Day Speakeasy

May 1st, 2019


A barbershop? Okay, I'll play along. 

The 8th Grade Trip to DC

April 30th, 2019


The thing is we all know what I'm talking about. It is THE field trip. The most iconic academic excursion in modern day education. It's the DC trip - and you know it's THE trip to DC because the field trip attendees …

Monday Morning Commute #47

April 29th, 2019


0:00 Intro

1:45 I think I'm becoming an adult 

The Bloody Mary

April 26th, 2019


I love the concept of the Bloody Mary. It's the Inspector Gadget of beverages - and it is because of this versatility that the Bloody Mary has achieved universal levels of enjoyment. 

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Stretching and The Rash

April 25th, 2019


I'd rather book an appointment with a new dermatologist, than stretch my hammies, quads, and hip flexers for 15-minutes.  And just so we are clear, …

Damian Lillard

April 24th, 2019


"They say the truth shall come to the light, so everybody grab ya shades cuz ya boy that bright." -Jay Z - Damian Lillard. Dame hit one of the greatest shots I'd ever seen last night.  Had to do an episode about it. 

Espresso Pitch

April 23rd, 2019


This episode isn't as much of an episode of the podcast as it is an elevator pitch... better yet, a 10-12 flights of stairs pitch. 

Monday Morning Commute #46

April 22nd, 2019


0:00 Intro

1:15 Why Monday is the beginning of the week

2:55 Picking up my prescriptions from Walgreens  

7:45 The impulsive Snickers purchase at …

Fantasy Furnished by IKEA

April 19th, 2019


I've always loved IKEA. I'm not totally sure why.  However, I have reason to believe that I think of it in such a good light because most of my dreams and fantasies take place in settings that are furnished by IKEA. …

Getting Walked In On

April 18th, 2019


I had this fear, I feel kind of silly saying this now, but I had this fear of my parents walking in on me watching MTV. 

The Honda CRV

April 17th, 2019


This is the first episode dedicated to the Honda CRV.  I need an installment of episodes to come close paying homage to such a fantastic car.

I Play 6 Instruments

April 16th, 2019


One of my most vivid memories from high school. Beautiful, brilliant, awkward, and cringe-worthy all at the same time. 

Monday Morning Commute #45

April 15th, 2019


0:00 Intro

1:45 When people say "tag a friend" on Instagram

8:55 50 Shades of Grey reference 

Sentimental Sweat

April 12th, 2019


I'm proud of how much I sweat, but I don't want to brag.  I have no room to do so.  I didn't earn this level of perspiration as I'm merely a trust fund baby, a trust fund baby of sweat.  This episode was fueled off …

His Feet

April 11th, 2019


He walked in, I'm guessing maybe 6'2", tipping the scale around 215? Up top we're talking dad hat, dropping down it's a long sleeve collared t-shirt. …

Black Bullhead Denim Jeans

April 10th, 2019


A sentimental episode about my roller-coaster of a relationship with a pair of jeans.

Paper Calendar Rant

April 9th, 2019


I feel like we've forgotten paper calendars. Left them somewhere in suburbia 10 years ago. And look I get it, iPhones, Androids, we've got calendar access on the go and on demand. So why do we need 12-paged, flip-over …

Monday Morning Commute #44

April 8th, 2019


0:00 Intro

1:14 No caffeine for 2-weeks

3:12 My #1 pet peeve

Please Call Me

April 5th, 2019


I graduated from my alma mater (I feel kind of cool saying that) almost a year ago.  And ya know it's the craziest thing, because not a single person …

Have a Seat

April 4th, 2019


For 75/80% of my bus ride home the other day, no one sat next to me.  It was the only seat left, but people elected to stand, instead of share space with me. I don't think I smelled (the Old Spice still doing it's …

Graham's Haul

April 3rd, 2019


This episode has it all. First, we've got an intro that gives the metrics (total amount of episodes and total amount of downloads) from year one of the Here's My Thing podcast. Then it's story time.  I found myself low …

St. Louis Style

April 2nd, 2019


Never been to St. Louis, but I support the way they enjoy bagels. 

Monday Morning Commute #43

April 1st, 2019


0:00 Intro 

2:42 Buying a camera at Best Buy

7:34 1-year anniversaries 

The Power Nap

March 29th, 2019


Triggering your second wind, but in a controlled environment. Your Avatar-State. 

Grainy, Flash-Heavy Mirror Pics

March 28th, 2019


I don't get FOMO often, but I get FOMO from not taking advantage of when grainy, flash-heavy mirror pics were in.  Don't get me wrong I take a lot of mirror pics, but never in front of a toothpaste, snot, water, …

Spending a Tax Refund

March 27th, 2019


In comparison to recent years, my 2018 tax refund is looking lovely. But how do I spend it though? Part of me wants to go nuts at Buffalo Exchange or drop a bag at Goodwill. I'm honestly very close to calling Din Tai …

Kraft Singles to the Face

March 26th, 2019


People are filming babies, dogs, and I think cats getting slices of Kraft cheese tossed onto their face. It's taken off as a meme/video challenge. To be honest, I'm not surprised with the abnormally high participation …

Monday Morning Commute #42

March 25th, 2019


0:00 Intro 
0:25 Bringing things full circle 
7:12 Cupcake < Cake 

$17 For Parking

March 22nd, 2019


Been driving to work more.  It's a lovely ride, but it's also $17 for parking, whereas taking the bus only deducts $5 from the bank account.  I can't believe I'm saying this, but the $17 is almost worth it... bump some …


March 21st, 2019


I thought Russell Crowe starred in 300, but apparently it's Gerard Butler.  Either way, great movie. First time I saw it was attempted via torrent. Torrent. When was the last time you heard that word? People who don't …

Bloody Noses

March 20th, 2019


I got three bloody noses in one day - seemed almost imperative to do an episode about it. Ended this one with a Rocky reference too. 


March 19th, 2019


We champion cheese platters, but neglect vats of queso.  I don't think that's appropriate. 

Monday Morning Commute #41

March 18th, 2019


0:00 Intro

0:41 When I hear "300" this is what I think about 

1:38 Thumbtacks   

12:12 Picking up 78/80 thumbtacks

Instagram Was Down For a Little Bit

March 15th, 2019


The sounds of the anxious beads of sweat leaving the foreheads of Instagram Influencers and then meeting the hardwood floors of some modern apartments in LA with Ikea layouts was loud an clear on March 13th, 2019. …


March 14th, 2019


I'm thinking about implementing handkerchiefs into my accessory arsenal. But how often am I to wash them? Do I need perpetual congestion to make legitimate use of them? What if I completely disregard utility and only …

Sausage Patties

March 13th, 2019


I very much like sausage links.  Can't say the same about the patties. To be honest, I don't think sausage patties are actually sausage - I think they are smaller hamburger patties that got neglected and pushed to the …

Dollar Shave Club but for Chips

March 12th, 2019


Chip bags are too loud, here's what I'm proposing. 

Monday Morning Commute #40

March 11th, 2019


0:00 Intro

2:10 The answer to the question that no one asked

4:57 Expensive dinner

14:10 The bill

Brad Pitt's Scarf in World War Z

March 8th, 2019


I live vicariously through Brad Pitt's rocking of this scarf in the movie World War Z.  

Me Cards

March 7th, 2019


Not business cards - me cards. 

The Softest Thing in Sports Today

March 6th, 2019


We live in an era where not jumping to contest a dunk is encouraged. That's pathetic.  It is the softest thing in sports at the moment. I'm sick of it.  Keep in mind, I stopped playing competitive basketball in 7th …

*vitamin* water

March 5th, 2019


it's a lifestyle beverage, it's not that good for you, it's vitamin water.  accidentally bought some the other day, and i bought the 32 oz size.  not sure why vitamin water (a lifestyle beverage) is being in that large …

Monday Morning Commute #39

March 4th, 2019


0:00 Intro

1:30  Here's My Thing update

3:57  Gum in middle school = cocaine

11:30  Saturday school

Beyoncé's 2003 Pepsi Commercial

March 1st, 2019


Finally I set aside the time to talk about this commercial, but had to set the stage with a quick little story prefacing it prior.  In my opinion, this is one of the greatest pieces of media from the past 50-years. Does …

I Chew Big Red

February 28th, 2019


An inanimate object that really isn't too good, but one that I whole-heartedly support. 

Beauty in it's Most Pure Form

February 26th, 2019


Debatably the sexiest photo on the internet. 

Monday Morning Commute #38

February 25th, 2019


0:00 Intro

0:31 Documentary 

6:35 A ferry ride and a hipster

The Word "Porridge"

February 23rd, 2019


The proof isn't in the pudding, and it's not even in the porridge.  

The proof is actually in the word, "porridge" .

Three Hundred Million

February 20th, 2019


Not replying to texts, Manny Machado, a bandwagon


Cunning or Charming?

February 19th, 2019


A story about paying off a security guard.

Monday Morning Commute #37

February 18th, 2019


0:00 Intro

0:21 Cardboard 

4:21 Girl scout cookies 

Under Armour Skin-Tight Undershirt in 2003

February 15th, 2019


If you buy a skin-tight Under Armour undershirt, make sure it's skin-tight. If it's not, that's a problem.

My Favorite Commercial

February 13th, 2019


It's either a Heineken commercial or a UEFA Champions League commercial. I can't find it anywhere.  This is my description of it.  

Sliding into the DM

February 12th, 2019


The year is 2019.  It's weirder to not slide into someone's DMs, than it is to actually slide on into someone's DMS.

Monday Morning Commute #36

February 11th, 2019


0:00 Intro 

0:40 Snowpocalypse 

9:00 Greek yogurt 

Vomit at the Art Museum

February 10th, 2019


A 31 year old man, an amber tint to his beard, walked into the elevator. The rest is history. 


February 9th, 2019


Wait... it is really, really good. 

Bad Decisions

February 8th, 2019


There I was, at the checkout counter of my local Shell gas station. In my left hand, 80mg of naturally occurring caffeine (yerba mate), and in my right, 36 inches of off-brand Laffy Taffy.  Everyone, it was 8:00 PM on a …

Silk Sheets

February 7th, 2019


I need some cheetah print sheets... maybe a silk shirt too. 

Snow Day at a Coffee Shop

February 6th, 2019


Shortest episode yet (I think), but this was one of the longer ones in terms of recording time... but may have been the most fun to create!  Enjoy! 

The Photoshoot

February 5th, 2019


Here's my takeaways and thoughts. 

Monday Morning Commute #35

February 4th, 2019


This is a story of the journey to an industry party.  

The Big Game

February 3rd, 2019


Super Bowl Sunday.  Recorded this while wearing a mud face mask.

LinkedIn Burner Account

February 1st, 2019


I learned some valuable lessons during my 3-month stint at a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu gym.  One of which applied recently in a quick intellectual sparring session that I had with a sales "guru" on LinkedIn. Not sure how many …

i only type in lowercase now

January 31st, 2019


i changed my keyboard to a lowercase keyboard the other day.  i feel that typing in lowercase gives a certain level of intensity and nonchalantness equivalent to that of the face of a calvin klein model.

Arthur on PBS Kids

January 30th, 2019


One of the greatest shows of all time.  I hope this helps bring a warm wave of nostalgia to the mid-90s babies.


January 29th, 2019


Pesto, Emotional connections, The Land Before Time

Monday Morning Commute #34

January 28th, 2019


0:00 Intro

0:42 Loch Ness Monster 

2:08 Stuff that happened in 1934

2:32 Brunch x Dim Sum

Beauty Sleep

January 27th, 2019


Apparently a good night sleep is very important.  I used to think saying you need "beauty sleep" was dramatic.  Not anymore... sign me up. 

The Rubik's Cube Process (I think)

January 26th, 2019


I think this is how I have to solve the Rubik's cube. Going to block off a day to do it in ideally the near future. Will keep everyone updated! 

Sweaty Dad Hats

January 24th, 2019


This episode is about the sweaty dad hat as a genre, but the role of main character is given to my once navy blue (now more of an industrial gray) …

ESPN+ Free Trial

January 23rd, 2019


Thought I'd give this ESPN+ a go. Was super into my setup when watching UFC Fight Night 143, decided to flow my feelings into the mic.  UFC Commentator Jon Anik said something so great I had to put it in my notebook.


January 22nd, 2019


It's remarkable how such a tiny piece of wood in my mouth can make me feel so confident. 

Monday Morning Commute #33

January 21st, 2019


0:00 Intro

0:19 Keto update

4:14 Scones

Gotta Work on My Car

January 19th, 2019


We know that I know nothing about cars, which is why I need clarity.  What does it mean to "work on a car".   Can cleaning a car be working on a car?  That seems so fake.  I want to be able to take a wrench, look at an …

Been Writing in Cursive Lately

January 18th, 2019


In 3rd grade I had buck-teeth and learned cursive. 

Ranch Sunflower Seeds

January 17th, 2019


I remember slinging ranch sunflower seeds to my teammates at baseball practice.  Such good memories. Bought a pack the other day... things were different. 

Half an Adidas Track Suit

January 16th, 2019


I bought the top half of an Adidas track suit.  I didn't know that was allowed....? I thought the bottom half and top half were package deals? 

The Jiffy Lube Upsell

January 15th, 2019


You went to a Jiffy Lube to get an oil change, but left with a wicked elevator pitch saying that your car is on it's way out. Here is how you defend against the upsell (from the perspective of someone who knows nothing …

Monday Morning Commute #32

January 14th, 2019


0:00 - Intro

1:06 - Keto update

7:42 - Eggs

17:57 - Bacon and condoms 



January 13th, 2019


Let me take you back to the first recreational soccer trophy that you ever "won" . I'll tell you this, the NFL needs new inspiration in terms of …

Fanny Packs

January 12th, 2019


Fanny Packs no longer only dance around the waist of middle-aged triathletes, but now along the torsos of hypebeasts. 


January 11th, 2019


Everything that you can do on land, but in the middle of the ocean.  Best hash browns that I've ever had were actually on a cruise.  It was nuts, they were the size of chicken nuggets, little cumin on top, some Heinz …

The Man on the Seated Stationary Bike

January 8th, 2019


I saw this man at the gym.  This is what I think his life is like. 

Monday Morning Commute #31

January 7th, 2019


Everyone, I'm thinking about going on the Keto diet. Mainly to say
"I'm entering Ketosis" and "I'm in Ketosis".  I delve deeper into this only to then transition to Western movies.  I hope y'all enjoy, happy Monday! 

Bleep Off

January 6th, 2019


I think bleeping out cuss words actually hits with more malice than cuss words that aren't beeped out. 

Reference Dates

January 5th, 2019


2019 is the first year, where 2010 doesn't feel like it was 2 years ago. 


January 4th, 2019


The cop out game of PE.  For anyone under 30: we got off lucky not having to use classic, rubber dodgeballs.

Goodie Bags

January 3rd, 2019


When and why did they get discontinued from parties? 

Joining the Gym for the New Year

January 2nd, 2019


I believe there is a stereotype with people who join the gym on January 1st of the New Year - which is exactly why I joined the gym on December 27th. 

Monday Morning Commute #30

December 31st, 2018


This is the last episode of the Here's My Thing podcast for 2018. For this Monday Morning Commute we talk about the expectations set for New Year's Eve Celebrations and this new chair I bought. Happy New Year, enjoy! 

Going Viral on Twitter

December 29th, 2018


There is a formula and it seems so simple, but at the same time so, so hard.  I know it's gotta be remarkably relatable, and I know it can be in the …

Cologne Commercials

December 28th, 2018


I was watching a lot of the USA channel when I was back home over the holidays.  I couldn't help notice a large amount of cologne commercials being …

Calorie Counts on Menus

December 23rd, 2018


I personally don't support the idea that menus display calories. Not sure why it's a thing really? And I don't think restaurants did this to themselves, but for some reason they have to do it. Did someone get sued? What …

Love, But Actually

December 21st, 2018


A Rom-Com so brilliant that, for 2-hours, I forgot Liam Neeson was a part of the "Taken" series.

Unoriginal Team Names

December 20th, 2018


Not sure if this is known, but if you are a soccer team in North America, you don't have to name your pro soccer team after your city then follow it …

The DMV and College Textbook Returns

December 19th, 2018


The DMV is terrible. Absolutely terrible. With that being said, I had a weirdly positive experience my last trip. Overall it reminding me of the time …

Letters Should Be Handwritten Only

December 18th, 2018


One of the last things that I want to see on the island in my kitchen when I get home is a letter from AAA or Chase. If we are doing letters, let's limit them to: handwritten thank you, gratitude, and love letters. AAA …

Monday Morning Commute #29

December 17th, 2018


The topic for this Monday Morning Commute is the classic real Christmas tree vs fake Christmas tree debate - and debate is a poor way to put it because it isn't much of a contest. The real tree is better, but at the …

Hot Chocolate

December 15th, 2018


I'm just not a hot chocolate guy. I get warm (more of an uncomfortable warm, kind of like you have a cold and are warming up indoors bundled up to …

Christmas Shopping

December 14th, 2018


I don't get the bad rap on Christmas shopping, or shopping in general really. I'm not talking about online shopping by the way. I'm talking about physical putting yourself in a store to buy someone you care about some …

Matt Brown

December 13th, 2018


I am not confrontational at all. I thoroughly enjoy it when 2 completely different people, with different viewpoints, get along. The other day I was listening to the Joe Rogan Experience and a man named Matt Brown was …


December 12th, 2018


There is no need to be scared of pickled vegetables. It's basically solid kombucha.

Veteran Moves

December 11th, 2018


Veteran Moves in sports are nothing more than elite levels of situational and self-awareness. And I absolutely love it.

Monday Morning Commute #28

December 10th, 2018


Finally found my new dentist. I always thought that dental facilities were supposed to be in generic, commercial real estate buildings in the suburbs - never thought I'd see a dental office in a downtown setting. I'm …

Brussel Sprouts

December 9th, 2018


The modern-day ugly duckling. I appreciate the glow up.

Prepackaged Sandwiches Rant

December 8th, 2018


I'd take a prepackaged hard boiled egg from 7/11 over a prepackaged sandwich from basically anywhere.

A Phenomenon

December 7th, 2018


I think I experienced a phenomenon the other day. Not sure, but I almost added someone I didn't really know on Facebook then I realized it's not 2009.

Santa Side Hustle

December 6th, 2018


Forget taking down trees and hanging up lights. I am astonished by the lack of Santa-For-Hire Instagram pages out there. I'd like to think that if you are good at what you do, no reason you aren't bringing home $500 a …

Keeping Up With The Peanuts

December 5th, 2018


The peanut has little to no talent, but it is the most popular nut in the world.

Eyebrow Issues

December 4th, 2018


90% of my eyebrows are in line, normal sideways growth directed towards the temple. However, 10% of my eyebrows for some reason feel the need to grow towards my forehead and I have literally no idea why. Not sure …

Monday Morning Commute #27

December 3rd, 2018


The original idea behind the Monday Morning Commute was to record longer episodes to keep people company during their commutes on Monday mornings. I feel that more often than not when you're in your car on Monday …


December 2nd, 2018


The originally celebrated, curiously strong mints, Altoids.


December 1st, 2018


Is Chivalry dead? Depeneds what definiton we are going off.

I Don't Have a Bed Frame

November 29th, 2018


I don't have a bed frame, and people seem to think that's very odd. There have been a lot of eyebrows being raised, and I'm not sure exactly why. If it's because I'm compromising my health, by all means, please step …

My Charcoal Face Mask Experience

November 28th, 2018


An experience beyond that of the application of the mask.

Legalize Slurping

November 27th, 2018


There was someone, somewhere, at some time that decided that slurping was rude. Your only passes? The first few sips of coffee, tea, and soup. This makes no sense to me - slurping is simply efficient, and to be frank, …

Monday Morning Commute #26

November 26th, 2018


Who inflates their prices the most?
1) Sporting arenas
2) Airports
3) Movie theaters

eBay and Peyton Manning

November 25th, 2018


I bought a Peyton Manning jersey the other day. A Reebok sponsored blue Peyton Manning #18 Colts jersey. I'm elated. Been thinking about making this …

Black Friday

November 23rd, 2018


The hottest deals, but at what cost? Is there a better way to do it?

Thanksgiving Lessons from Creed 2

November 22nd, 2018


I couldn't help but draw parallels between Thanksgiving dinner and Creed 2.

Questioning Reality

November 21st, 2018


Bought a Greek Philly Cheesesteak the other day - basically a Philly Cheesesteak with feta on top. As I was paying I noticed some baklava in an elevated pie case by the register. This opened up a few questions for me.


November 20th, 2018


Raisins are in a bad spot. That's all I'm going to say.

Monday Morning Commute #25

November 19th, 2018


A Thanksgiving special. Consumption strategies at the dinner table and turkey isn't that good.

TV Trays

November 18th, 2018


Once an innovative breakthrough, now an item with value that has depreciated faster than a Rolls Royce.


November 17th, 2018


Everyone, episode 200! Thank you all for rocking with me!! For this episode, I talk about the Fanta that I had at the airport. I couldn't help but …

Lessons and Metaphors

November 16th, 2018


The keyboard clicks loudly, but the pen not so much.

Cocktail Parties

November 15th, 2018


Cocktail parties: high level networking with dire economic and political consequences.

A Christmas Music Episode

November 14th, 2018


I say "A Christmas Music Episode" because there will probably be more. I just wanted to address when it is appropriate to start listening to Xmas music and that Xmas music is unbelievably average, but pushes the perfect …

Need For Alarm Clocks

November 13th, 2018


I woke up the other day and immediately hopped on Instagram for 1 hour. It's totally legal, but I don't think that's okay. The iPhone is great, but once I silence the alarm I've got the world of app enjoyment at my …

Monday Morning Commute #24

November 12th, 2018


I figured once I transitioned to college, that was the worst shape I was going to be in ever. All the beer and junk food, I mean it just makes sense …

Mechanical Bulls For Kids

November 11th, 2018


I was buying deodorant the other day and when I walked out of the store, I saw something odd out of the corner of my eye. To my surprise, it was one …

Shin Guards

November 10th, 2018


The shin guard dynamic changes over the course of each player's career.
It starts attached to ankle guards, but much like a rocket into space, …

Toiletry Bags

November 9th, 2018


Apparently when you sign a contract to play professional sports, within the lines of that contract, there is always a sentence that says you get hte toiletry bag of your choice.

Broken iPhone (story)

November 8th, 2018


Youth, infatuation, destruction, despair, coincidental, Smirnoff, the state fair and an iPhone

There's Still Candy Left

November 7th, 2018


Self-discipline being tested a lot right now. To be honest, I am not passing with flying colors - I am caving, emphatically. But can you blame me …

The Grilled Cheese

November 6th, 2018


I had undoubtedly the best-grilled cheese of my life the other day - that's not saying much, I don't have grilled cheeses that often. With that being said, while I was eating it I had a realization, a revelation if you …

Monday Morning Commute #23

November 5th, 2018


I got a buzz cut for the first time in 7-years and I take a moment to address the "hot guy voice" also known as morning voice or the …

Fake Tattoos

November 4th, 2018


I blasted myself with fake tattoos and they came back to bite me in a very cringe way.

The Reese's Peanut Butter Cup

November 3rd, 2018


The pursuit of perfection? I am not sure if it is that as much as it is literally timeless authenticity. The brilliance? Well, it's in the simplicity.

They're Always Listening

November 1st, 2018


I was talking with a colleague about these shoes he was wearing. Not once didn't I search them on the internet, but I was talking about them with …

LinkedIn Statuses

October 31st, 2018


I was on LinkedIn the other day.

Read a few good articles.

Congratulated some people.

And then I noticed something.

All LinkedIn statuses are in the …


October 30th, 2018


Clout is when you can get me to buy something I don't want.

Monday Morning Commute #22

October 29th, 2018


I'm just going to say it: all red wine tastes the same. The main difference is some are more confrontational with the taste buds than others. Also, sponges are disgusting. I love the idea of them, however, I just can't …

Coffee Table Books

October 28th, 2018


The subtle brilliance that comes from putting 5 books on a piece of wood is incredible. Look, if you're not occupying that space, what are you doing? That's precious real estate.

The Malice At The Palace

October 23rd, 2018


After watching the heated exchanged between the Lakers and Rockets, I couldn't help but draw a connection to the infamous "Malice At The Palace."

*I …

Monday Morning Commute #21

October 22nd, 2018


For the 21st installment of THE Monday Morning Commute, I express my thoughts about allergies, then set the stage for bowling shoes which ultimately …

Lyft Etiquette

October 21st, 2018


Hopped in a Lyft at 4:30 AM to go to the airport last week. The mood was there, my luggage fit in the trunk (the car was a Yaris so that was a win), the driver was kind. However, she played a stand-up comedy routine at …

Vegan Ginger Cookie

October 19th, 2018


I firmly believe that vegan desserts shouldn't be a thing, however, I caved against that belief the other day. Not to exaggerate or blow things out …

Essential Oils

October 17th, 2018


How essential are essential oils? In all honesty, I don't fully know what an essential oil is or what it does. I think it's an oil that's …

Fruit Snacks (Economics)

October 16th, 2018


Econ 101, class is in session. Are fruit snacks actually good, or are they good because we have them in such small quantities? What about caviar? You're telling me people actually like caviar...? Let's make caviar $5 a …

Monday Morning Commute #20

October 15th, 2018


The original plan for this episode was to talk about sweatbands and playlists, but on my way to record this episode, I ripped my pants getting into my car. So the first half of this episode is pretty much raw emotion …

Dippin' Dots

October 12th, 2018


I don't think Dippin' Dots are good, I think they are fun. There is a difference. What happened to them? I think you can only get them at stadiums now... is that just me or does anyone else notice that?

U-turn Appreciation

October 11th, 2018


There is a direct correlation between how many U-turns you make, and how happy you are with your car. U-turns provide G-Force, but controlled G-force …

Broken Arms on Monkey Bars

October 10th, 2018


50% of broken arms in 1st-4th grade came from playing on the monkey bars.

Monday Morning Commute #19

October 8th, 2018


Got called "Honey" by a stranger and it felt good. The best part about it was that I don't think she was thinking about it when she said it. Like it was a part of her normal rotation of words and was one of the lucky …

Emotional Blurb About Dress Socks

October 6th, 2018


Why are all dress socks mid-leg? Why don't we have ankle exposing dress socks? Because we might get blisters? Let's pad up the socks then. Why are dress socks always that thin, slick material? Am I inferior if I wear …

WWE Reflection

October 5th, 2018


Attended my first ever WWE event on Tuesday. Placed my thoughts, feelings, and takeaways into a crockpot, set the heat to low, went out and about for the day, came home around 6:00, turned the crock pot off, opened the …

Cowboy Boots

October 4th, 2018


I know that there is going to be a moment in my life, where I am going to need a pair of cowboy boots. It's a gut feeling really. I don't want to get to this moment, look into my closet, and see everything but a pair of …

How To Solve Problems

October 3rd, 2018


The answer is in any drama on CBS, ABC, TNT, TBS, and/or NBC.

Mason Jars

October 2nd, 2018


Apparently, the only way to drink anything nowadays is through a mason jar. How did this come to be? I am assuming a picture on Tumblr blew it up, but that may just be me.

Monday Morning Commute #18

October 1st, 2018


For this episode of the Monday Morning Commute, I quickly discuss my Red Lobster experience only to transition to the most indulgent weekend of my …

Goodbyes On The Phone

September 30th, 2018


Have goodbyes on the phone become awkward? Or scripted? or force? I think all of the above.

It's Called Advertising

September 29th, 2018


Do you advertise on bus benches to actually help grow your business? Or do you advertise on bus benches, to say that you advertise on bus benches?

Red Lobster

September 28th, 2018


I'm going to the Red Lobster for the first time in my life. Honestly, I genuinely don't really know what to expect. Very, very excited.

City Hall

September 26th, 2018


Has anyone ever been inside city hall? I don't think I have ever seen the inside of city hall. Movies have taught me that city halls are big deals, but that hasn't been the case for me. It is such an intriguing topic.

Tin Foil

September 25th, 2018


The 8th Wonder of the World. Tin Foil plays by it's own set of rules.

Monday Morning Commute #17

September 24th, 2018


I would like it if we could somehow make the summer-to-fall transition abrupt - go from 80 and sunny to 55 and nippy - instead of this gradual shift …

3 People, 1 Sauna

September 23rd, 2018


I found myself alone in a sauna with a lawyer and someone covered head-to-toe in tattoos. If I didn't know any better, I was on set of a Wes Anderson film.

Energy and the Gas Station

September 22nd, 2018


The energy the other night wasn't too good. Laying in my room, I looked around. Pile of clothes begging to be folded, my bed very much uninviting - …

A Mellow Rant About Printers

September 21st, 2018


A mellow (I'd like to think melodic) rant about printers. Don't know how much longer they will be around, but I appreciate them. There was a time where the amount of revenue your company brought in was directly related …

The Vitamin Shoppe

September 19th, 2018


I never knew that The Vitamin Shoppe existed. I always thought that it assumed retail space when renters were looking for actual tenants. Turns out it is actually real, as I found myself in one looking for some MCT Oil …

Dead Roses

September 18th, 2018


We have some roses at my house, I think 12 of them. They died a few days ago. The head, the bud of the rose, dipped downward, all of them in the same …

Monday Morning Commute #16

September 17th, 2018


It had to be done. I went to the Big 4 of American fast food burger joints, tried each of their basic hamburgers, and then ranked them. Enjoy!


September 16th, 2018


There is a lack of appreciation for umbrellas. In PDX it seems that you are looked down on if you use an umbrella - I can't get behind that. Umbrellas keep me dry and prevent me from putting on a hood which usually …

Articles on How to be Productive

September 15th, 2018


Articles on how to be productive are all the same. It's the same steps just shuffled around. Yet, I love to read them. I don't really apply any of the principles, but I feel super good about myself after each read. …

Fireplaces and Macbook Pros

September 14th, 2018


There are 3 types of fireplaces. The ones that burn wood, the ones with fake wood and MacBook pros that show youtube videos of fireplaces. They are all different, but they all share a common trait: each fireplace …

Hands of Character

September 13th, 2018


I want to have callused hands without having to do manuel labor. Is there a cream for that?


September 12th, 2018


Not a chair, not a sofa, but something in between... a loveseat. Spacious for one and it promotes cuddling. Questionably always worked in, but undeniably comfortable. Loveseats are fantastic.

Genius Lyrics

September 11th, 2018


I love Genius. They bridge the gap between lyrical confusion and lyrical clarity. To put it bluntly, I very much appreciate that. The question now is, how do I get them to interpret my podcast?

Monday Morning Commute #15

September 10th, 2018


Wifi went out this weekend, went back to the same coffee shop 3 times before 12:00 PM, I give my take on why the BLT is very average, and I question whether or not a protein shake is a protein shake if the metal …

Everyone Needs a Finsta

September 9th, 2018


Fake Instagram accounts. Do you have one? I feel that the ability to upload a random video of you acting out a scene from a show on the Lifetime channel and only allowing a few people to view it whenever they want is a …

The NFL is Remarkably Uncompelling

September 8th, 2018


This NFL season is remarkably uncompelling. Post as many videos of LBJ dancing or photos of Aaron Rodgers in a Canadian Tuxedo, I don't care, it's not going to make me buy into it anymore. I can't believe I'm saying …


September 7th, 2018


I've neglected corduroy for a majority of my life... not sure why. I think corduroy is the elite fabric of fall, the dominant one in winter, and then …

Get This Man a Briefcase

September 6th, 2018


I think I'm going to invest in a briefcase. I gave away my tote bag and am having issues with my Columbia backpack and my need of somesort of bag is …

You've Got Food in Your Teeth

September 5th, 2018


Is there a correct way to tell someone that they have food in between their teeth? Better yet, how do you do it? I break this down to the best of my abilities along with the variables that come with it.

Monday Morning Commute #14

September 4th, 2018


Everyone, in this episode I take a quick tangent and guess how many total pounds of sweat I lost over the summer, reflect on my tolerance break from …

Accidentally got a Macklemore haircut

September 3rd, 2018


Bit of a mishap at the barbershop yesterday. Was going for a 1940s haircut style, but got more of a Macklemore haircut. I know what you're thinking, aren't they the same thing? Not really, I've already had my Macklemore …

How to be a Kicker in the NFL

September 2nd, 2018


There has never been a more clear-cut path to employment than becoming an NFL Kicker. The job itself is very, very challenging, but in terms of knowing what you have to do to get there it is pretty obvious. I break down …

Brownie Batter

September 1st, 2018


Brownie Batter is fantastic. It is caviar but at the same time is a cheap dessert. Brownie Batter plays the game very well. Plays hard to get to such …

Island of Choice

August 31st, 2018


Would you rather own a granite-top island in your kitchen, or your own actual island in the middle of the ocean? Seems pretty simple to me.

Gnocchi Talk

August 30th, 2018


Chewy yet fluffy. Decadent and Lavish. Gnocchi. I think I just had Gnocchi for the first time. Why aren't we pushing Gnocchi more? It's fantastic. Is because it's not healthy? Is that the reason we don't promote …

Who Rings Doorbells?

August 29th, 2018


Can't remember the last time I rang a doorbell. I forgot to take out my neighbor's trash while they were gone and got an aggressive knocking on my door when they got back from Spain. It really threw me off guard. If …

Social Media Trust Funds

August 28th, 2018


If you are a parent with a smartphone and have a child under 5 years old. I'm pretty sure somewhere in the fine print of your cellphone contract …

Monday Morning Commute #13

August 27th, 2018


The room is complete! I got the command strips and succulent. I witnessed the beginning of a war last Thursday... a burger war that is. A popping new …

Hampers, am I right?

August 26th, 2018


Do you transport laundry fresh out the dryer in the same hamper that brought dirty clothes to the laundry room 2 hours prior? Why isn't this address more often?

Let it Percolate

August 25th, 2018


The word "percolate" isn't used as much as it should be. It's a great word in my opinon. It's the modern day, "Chew it over with Twix," but with less …

Is it Microwave-Safe?

August 24th, 2018


Is everything microwave-safe now? If not, when will everything be? I feel like the question "is it microwave-safe" is the 2005 version of "is it vegan". I still think this question deserves a little more attention than …

I Found The One

August 22nd, 2018


I found the one. I found the hair product that I very well may spend the rest of my life with. I break down my entire hair product relationship history over the last 3-minutes of the episode. Enjoy!

Is Jamba Juice still a thing?

August 21st, 2018


I was on my flight home the other day and the women next to me pulled out a Jamba Juice smoothie from her tote bag. Not sure how she kept it in her …

Monday Morning Commute #12

August 20th, 2018


Trader Joe's is amazing. Cheap, good vibes, for some reason always a little colder than most grocery stores (I'm not complaining) - I'm about it. I …

Conveyor Belt Sushi

August 19th, 2018


Popped into a conveyor belt sushi place and had a great casual conversation with an elderly woman and her daughter. I think it's safe to say when it comes down to average sushi, in my book, conveyor belt style is the …

Fantasy Football Scoring is Flawed

August 18th, 2018


Fantasy Football scoring doesn't account for a very key aspect in the game. Let me expose one of America's past times really quick.

Electric Scooters

August 17th, 2018


Electric scooters have seemed to assumed the main transporting duties in Portland and I'm all about it - they are unbelievably fun. I was thinking about possibly getting into biking to work to help shed some lbs, but …

Very Expensive Photoshoot

August 15th, 2018


I got caught rolling through a red light a few weeks back. My ticket? $270. I always assumed that tickets went back to rebuilding or building up …

Chic, Sleek, Sexy.

August 14th, 2018


This is what goes through my head when I think about designing my new room. I've been aiming to make my room as chic as possible for the last two years and haven't quite hit the mark by any stretch of the term. The …

Monday Morning Commute #11

August 13th, 2018


This week’s Monday Morning Commute podcast:
- Should I join a gym?
- When is it the right time to tell your kid Santa isn’t real?

Touchy subjects, I …

Nature Valley Oats 'n Honey

August 11th, 2018


One of the most consistent items in today's world. Unquestionably flavorful, questionably structured. Let's not bash on the producer for the poor …

The Best (Economy) Seat on the Airplane

August 10th, 2018


I find it mind boggling that people who fly on commercial aircrafts and sit in economy, feel the need to sit at the front of the economy section. Why? That makes no sense. During this podcast, I explain why the back of …

Venmo Rant

August 9th, 2018


This is a "prant" (a pleased rant) about Venmo. Special shout out to Elliot, Jake, Nori, and Scott for their thoughtful Venmos earlier this month. …

Pancakes vs Waffles

August 8th, 2018


The "pancakes vs waffles" debate is one that doesn't garner that much attention for some reason. I am not sure why, as it truly brings a fantastic …

Thoughts on Penmanship

August 7th, 2018


I used to think that if you had bad penmanship you weren't smart. That all changed in 5th grade when I was graced by the presence of a kid who held a pen like he held a football, but slayed every single test. As long as …

Monday Morning Commute #10

August 6th, 2018


Boom double digits for the Monday Morning Commute! This week I talk about:
1) Poor vegetable management on my end
2) Frozen pizza
3) 30 lbs weight gain
4) Questionable first impression with my new doctor
5) When does …

Fundraisers... FUNdraisers

August 5th, 2018


Fundraisers are fantastic. In my head when I hear fundraiser I actually hear "fun-da-raiser" - which is pretty fun in its own right. Nonetheless, …

Microsoft Applications Rant

August 3rd, 2018


Tried to enter Google Chrome to search up something random, but I accidentally clicked Microsoft Excel. I then waited for Excel to load (a long time), only to close it and then enter Google Chrome. It through off my …

My Jean Jacket

August 2nd, 2018


I used to think that denim was only meant to be worn from the waist down, but then I moved to Portland, OR. I now own 1 jean jacket with 3 patches on …

Straws into Exile

August 1st, 2018


I think it's great that we are reducing straw usage, but let's not forget that they were a revolutionary invention. With that, let's give true credit …

Grill Master

July 31st, 2018


I always thought that the skills behind a Weber BBQ came once you had a couple of kids or put a down payment on a house. I can confidently say that's not the case. It takes legitimate practice and a dedication to the …

Monday Morning Commute #9

July 30th, 2018


I break down the real hero of the Incredibles and then I jump into a pizza/cheese wormhole, ultimately coming back with some pro tips and …

Survivor: Instagram Influencer Edition

July 29th, 2018


I love the show Survivor, but it needs some updating. What if instead of average people being on it, we had Instagram Influencers on...? Boom- every …

Different Times, Different Dangers

July 28th, 2018


Big dangers in today's world are cybersecurity and having to guard an elite ball handler in isolation with someone filming. Back in the 20s-30s, all …

Is this Recyclable?

July 27th, 2018


Recycling has gotten too complicated for me recently. The other day I went to dispose of some stuff, but it took me 15-minutes to do so because there are so many different bins to put each item in. What's worse is that …

A Dozen Bagels

July 26th, 2018


There are people who get up early and get a dozen bagels for their loved ones before their loved ones wake up. There are also people who get up and get plain bagels and plain cream cheese for their loved ones before …

What is a Butterfinger?

July 25th, 2018


Why don't we ask this question more often? Millions of children across the US eat these in bulk every October 31st yet if this question pops up in …

San Pellegrino

July 24th, 2018


Can't wait for my son to hydrate with San Pellegrino at his soccer games.

Monday Morning Commute #8

July 23rd, 2018


For this episode of the Monday Morning Commute, I break down a recent jazz festival and how La La Land romanticized that world for me. I then discuss why there is no reason to print jokes on popsicle sticks anymore.

Travis Scott is Good Looking

July 21st, 2018


Here's my thing: it is so funny how polarizing of a debate this is... but the way I see it, Travis Scott is undeniably gorgeous. Just watch his …

Big Mac: More Than Just a Burger

July 20th, 2018


Here's my thing: At first I didn't know why the Big Mac meal danced over $7. But then I realized it offers much more than a meal.

More Rooftop Decks, Please.

July 19th, 2018


Here's my thing: there are a lot of roofs in Portland, yet only 6 rooftop decks. How does this ratio make sense? It's appauling to me that this isn't …

True Crime: Facebook Memories

July 18th, 2018


Here's my thing: the Facebook data scandal was huge, but I think it was just a smoke bomb for the real crime... Facebook Memories. I don't like facebook memories in the slightest. They provide me with the most …

Times Have Changed

July 17th, 2018


Here's my thing: getting up at 6 used to be a piece of cake. Saturday morning cartoons were without question in the routine. This is a short rant and reflection.

Monday Morning Commute #7

July 16th, 2018


Here's My Thing:
- Who was that biker?
- When you get Chinese food takeout after work, you become an adult
- Product placement

Beat The Heat

July 15th, 2018


Here's my thing: there is a subtle beauty to lying in your bed sweaty and "miserable" on most summer nights. The only thing keeping you company is the purrr of your fan and The Weeknd's "What You Need". This combo is …

Crop Tops

July 14th, 2018


Here's my thing: for the past few years I've been subconsciously debating whether or not I should rock a crop top - better yet, whether or not I …

Everyone Remembers Their First Time

July 13th, 2018


Here's my thing; the first time is special. Magical? Depends. Regardless, it is safe to say that everyone remembers their first time.

Damian Lillard's Guest List

July 12th, 2018


Here's my thing: look it's simple. Dame is having a birthday party and I want to be there. I feel confident saying that this podcast legitimizes myself as a candidate to get on the guest list.


July 11th, 2018


Here's my thing: I can already tell you how I am going to spend my Sunday mornings as a retiree. I'm going to be a usual at a diner. Usuals are elite members of society - that's a fact.

I Get The Bag

July 10th, 2018


Here's my thing: I love the terms, "secure the bag" or, "check a bag" or, "getting the bag". I think I can finally say I've done that.

Monday Morning Commute #6

July 9th, 2018


Here's my thing: my weekend was full of entertainment. Saturday night found me alone at Buffalo Wild Wings. Half a pint of Coors Light to my right …


July 8th, 2018


Here's my thing: malls are going extinct whether we like it or not. Have one more Wetzel's for old times sake.

Cold Foam Cascara Cold Brew

July 7th, 2018


Here's my thing: I'll throw a compliment Starbucks' way once in a blue moon. That blue moon is here... WELL DONE Starbucks. This new cold foam …

Lady and The Tramp Exposed

July 6th, 2018


Here's my thing: how... how did we not see this before?

My First Massage

July 5th, 2018


Here's my thing: the caption says it all.

July 4th

July 4th, 2018


Here's my thing: the 4th of July is a great day. Its consistency is unparalleled. It follows the classic storyline premise. The excitement builds up …

Craft Beer Pressure

July 3rd, 2018


Here's my thing: there is a social pressure to like and drink craft beer. I'm sorry I don't like IPAs

Monday Morning Commute #5

July 2nd, 2018


Here's my thing: Everyone it is Monday and I know that word might scare some people, but you know what... it's going to be a great day, a great week, a great month, a great year and so on and so forth.
2)Street …

LeBron James to Portland

July 1st, 2018


Here's my thing: I am so excited to see LeBron play for the Trailblazers. I think His family and him will thoroughly enjoy living in Portland.

Quinoa Isn't Good

June 30th, 2018


Here's my thing: the only cool thing about Quinoa is it's name

Pillow Talk

June 29th, 2018


Here's my thing: I think it's time for pillow talk. Don't you?

World Cup of Hair

June 28th, 2018


Here's my thing: we are missing the main point of the world cup. The MO isn't to win it all. The MO is to play as many games as possible to maximize air time so you can show off your awesome hair.

French Fantasy

June 27th, 2018


Here's my thing: fair warning, I do a terrible French accent towards the end. Rataouille is one of the greatest movies of all time.

Celery Isn't a Vegetable

June 26th, 2018


Here's my thing: Celery isn't a vegetable, it's a vehicle.

Monday Morning Commute #4

June 25th, 2018


Here's my thing:
1) Delivery Pizza
2) Me Day

Hoarding Coffee Cups

June 24th, 2018


Here's my thing: when am I supposed to start hoarding coffee cups? I know it's coming , I just don't know when to start. Please help.

Buffet Talk

June 23rd, 2018


Here's my thing: Buffet etiquette is very easy to abide by. You either ball out, or you get an iced tea and don't eat anything.

The Draft

June 22nd, 2018


Here's my thing: The NBA Draft has glaring similarities to how I ended up in each of my elementary school classes... am I onto something?

Life Stats

June 21st, 2018


Here's my thing: It's great that we can track our total steps... but what if we could track how many burritos we've eaten? Or even how much time …

It's Mint 'N Chip

June 20th, 2018


Here's my thing: It's Mint 'N Chip ice cream. Not Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream.


June 19th, 2018


Here's my thing: what... where does Yogurt come from... what is yogurt? Big fan of yogurt, but don't have a clue of it's origins.

Monday Morning Commute #3

June 18th, 2018


Here's my thing:
1) World Cup
2) Remembering peoples names
3) Wristwear

Alternative Fuel Source

June 15th, 2018


Here's my thing: the idea of filling up my car at the gas station doesn't sound ideal right now. We need an alternative fuel source for those of us who can't afford a Tesla and Nissan Leaf.

Boujee Chips

June 14th, 2018


Here's my thing: Sometimes the most expensive things in life aren't the best. Sometimes the cheaper item is better than the item 10x it in price. I had smoked gouda and garlic chips, and I know by the name it sounds …

Celebrity Collages

June 13th, 2018


Here's my thing: I can remember walking into, what I thought was, my cousin's room to her cutting out celebrity pics in magazines. Why was she doing this? At the time I had no idea, but as time went on it became …


June 12th, 2018


Here's my thing: Well played, IHOP... well played.

Monday Morning Commute #2

June 11th, 2018


Here's my thing: Let's spice up your commute. I talk about:
1) My recent Alaska Airlines experience
2) Interaction with a biker
3) 32 person FaceTime

The Bus

June 8th, 2018


Here's my thing: Been taking the bus a lot more lately. I am fulfilling my childhood desire of wanting to take the bus to school, but at the same …

Imitation is Flattery

June 7th, 2018


Here's my thing: I looked up to Godzilla growing up. Not Kobe Bryant. Not Ronaldo. Not Larry David. Godzilla.

Shedding Light: Movie Theaters

June 6th, 2018


Here's my thing: Look I get it. Luxury Cinemas are the future of movies. But can we please pump the breaks, because that's a future I don't want for another 40 years. I'm all about movie theaters with squeaky chairs …

Keep Portland Weird

June 5th, 2018


Here's my thing: I've had a lot of weird experiences in Portland, but this one was by far the weirdest. Still trying to wrap my head around what happened.

Monday Morning Commute #1

June 4th, 2018


Here's my thing: Let's start this week off right. A little bit of a longer episode for those sitting in traffic on this fine Monday morning. I talk about:
1) All white hi-top converse
2) MTV's Jersey Shore
3) The …

You're Doing It Wrong

June 2nd, 2018


Here's my thing: No one likes doing chores, but chores need to get done. What if I told you we were approaching chores from the completely wrong …

The Ritz Cracker

June 1st, 2018


Here's my thing:

1) Ritz
3) Wheat Thins

In that order

Coins - My 2 Cents

May 31st, 2018


Here's my thing: For episode 50, I felt that I needed to express the importance of bringing back coins into everyday life. We are approaching a time …

Why LeBron is better than MJ

May 30th, 2018


Here's my thing: LeBron is better than MJ for reasons beyond basketball.

Sweet Caroline

May 29th, 2018


Here's my thing: Darren Till walked out to the Octagon in his hometown of Liverpool to Neil Diamond's, "Sweet Caroline" and it almost immediately …

Bicycle Kicks and Man Buns

May 28th, 2018


Here's my thing: Gareth Bale.

Thank you, Siri

May 27th, 2018


Here's my thing: I say thank you to Siri all the time. Am I more polite to Siri than I am to normal people? I hope not.


May 26th, 2018


Here's my thing: Everyone is saying how Pusha T got destroyed by Drake's diss track "Duppy". I'm not saying he didn't, but I think he knew he was …

Netflix Needs to Chill

May 25th, 2018


Here's my thing: Netflix is great, but as of late, they have been producing too much original content. It's to the point where I am overwhelmed. I feel bad coming down on them for having too many shows, but sometimes …

Trains Yield Characters

May 24th, 2018


Here's my thing: I'm all about trains. Such a cool environment to get from point A to point B. There are different types of people who occupy the …

Shedding Light: Soft Serve

May 23rd, 2018


Here's my thing: I just wanted to shed light on soft serve ice cream. It doesn't get the credit it deserves. IMO, it's one of the best desserts in the world.


May 22nd, 2018


Here's my thing: I'm genuinely curious as to whether or not it is possible for a human to stand in line and not be on their phone. Let's get this hashtag trending.

Orange Slices at Halftime

May 21st, 2018


Here's my thing: I remember a time where orange slices would be presented to me at halftime of my youth soccer games. When and why did we stop doing …

The Best Leftovers

May 19th, 2018


Here's my thing: There are a lot of different foods out there. There is only one that is best for leftovers.

Crank The AC

May 18th, 2018


Here's my thing: Summer is around the corner. Hot steering wheels and even hotter metal seat belt buckles are upon us. Let's get ready to crank the AC.

3 Wishes

May 17th, 2018


Here's my thing: I remember back in elementary school hoping to stumble upon a genie lamp at recess. I had my wishes ready to go back then. However, …

Interacting at the Intersection

May 16th, 2018


Here's my thing: I love to give a nice wave and smile to someone when they let me go first at a 4-way stop sign intersection. The same goes for when I let someone else go before me. I so value these quick forms of …

Pizza Code of Conduct

May 15th, 2018


Here's my thing: There is a certain code of conduct and responsibility that comes with eating pizza. Not stripping the pizza of its cheese is a part of that.

Rick and Morty and John

May 14th, 2018


Here's my thing: I am very happy and veerrrryyyyy excited for these 70 new RnM episodes. It's a great show. To be honest, I never thought I would …

Late Night Food Theory

May 13th, 2018


Here's my thing: All food tastes better after 10:30. Why? I'm still trying to find out.

Music Makes Moments

May 12th, 2018


Here's my thing: There is a question as old as music itself: Does music make moments, or do moments make music?
This is a great question - a tough …

Infinity War = La La Land

May 11th, 2018


Here's my thing: Infinity War was great. I'm dubbing it the La La Land of the Marvel Universe. Some might call this take a stretch, but the similarities seem beyond obvious to me. SPOILER ALERT!!!

Next Year's Met Gala Theme

May 10th, 2018


Here's my thing: I love the idea of themes. I think I know what the 2019 Met Gala theme will be. If I guess it right, I would like permission to walk …

Bars of Soap

May 9th, 2018


Here's my thing: I've gotten away from using bars of soap. Been using liquid soap for far too long. It's time for a change.

The Mystery that is Dr. Pepper

May 8th, 2018


Here's my thing: I love a good mystery. Books, movies, you name it. Prior to this past Saturday, I couldn't tell you what the greatest mystery of all …

Water It Down

May 4th, 2018


Here's my thing: I am on team Powerade, but hey, let's water it down a bit, ya?

Creamy vs Crunchy Peanut Butter

May 3rd, 2018


Here's my thing: one of the greatest debates of all time.

Black Cherry Flavoring

May 2nd, 2018


Here's my thing: Black Cherry Flavoring is low key fantastic.

The Drive-Through Window

April 30th, 2018


Here's my thing: Besides from a couple of times in 2018, the last time I paid at the first drive-through window was in 2004 at El Pollo Loco in San …

Laying In Grass Is Overrated

April 29th, 2018


Here's my thing: the title sums it up. I can't be the only one who thinks this... or can I?


April 28th, 2018


Here's my thing: I want someone to take a picture of me, post it and caption it, "Mood.", when they are feeling confident/motivated/focused.

Sun's Plan

April 27th, 2018


Here's my thing: The sun showed up big in the PNW this week. Too bad it was during the busiest time of the year for colleges on the semester system. …

Ripped Jeans

April 26th, 2018


Here's my thing: 75% of the jeans I wore in 3rd grade were ripped at the knee. Fast forward to present day and none of my jeans are ripped at the knee. That's a problem.

Overcompensating Cream Cheese

April 25th, 2018


Here's my thing: Can we please establish the maximum amount of cream cheese that is allowed on a bagel? .Bagels.Are.Getting.Ruined.

Fashionably Late

April 24th, 2018


Here's my thing: There are many art forms out there. Being fashionably late is one of them.

Luxury Water

April 23rd, 2018


Here's my thing: Why do we hold water with fruit chopped up in it to a higher standard than normal water?

Coffee Lifecycle

April 22nd, 2018


Here's my thing: a cup of coffee doesn't guarantee productivity.

Christian Bale's Beard on Sundays

April 21st, 2018


Here's my thing: I used to dislike Sundays from 3:30-8:45. Christian Bale's beard played a role in that.

Better than Happy Hour

April 20th, 2018


Here's my thing: Happy hour is an American pastime, much like spending half a day at Ikea or going to the zoo. What if I told you that there was …

The New Seasons Dilemma

April 19th, 2018


Here's my thing: I want to know what's the least amount of money I can spend at New Seasons for a week's worth of groceries. I'm pretty sure once I start shopping at New Seasons, I actually become certified to tell …

Well Played, Snapchat

April 18th, 2018


Here's my thing: I thought Snapchat was done for after their last update a couple months back. Little did I know they were about to complete one of the best comebacks of all time. I dig the new update. I'm about it.

The Most Important Meal of The Day

April 17th, 2018


Here's my thing: History tells the tale of a great debate. One that isn't decided over a quick chat. Chances are that this talk won't settle it by any means. With that being said... what is the most important meal of …

Power Moves

April 16th, 2018


Here's my thing: Power moves are crucial to society. I finished a quiz extremely quick the other day and it may have been the biggest power move I've made in the last decade.

Is Chest Hair Relevant?

April 15th, 2018


Here's my thing: Can't decide whether chest hair is still relevant... are my H&M collared t-shirts too tight?... Happy Sunday!

A Caffeine Underdog

April 14th, 2018


Here's my thing: For the most part, I drink coffee on a daily basis. No other way to put it. With that being said, I do enjoy a nice Yerba Mate (Guayaki brand). It's different, light, refreshing, and has naturally …

All About a Good Sweat

April 12th, 2018


Here's my thing: I very much value a good sweat. Ask anybody who knows me - sweating is kind of my thing.

Case or No Case? An iPhone Talk

April 11th, 2018


Here's my thing - there are a ton of great questions out there. With that, a ton of great debates. However, I don't think the question of whether or not a clothed iPhone (case) is better than a naked one (no case) gets …

Life Caddie

April 8th, 2018


Golf has set a fine example... Why hasn't everyone else followed suit?

Not a Milk Guy

April 8th, 2018


Have you ever sipped rotten milk? I have - 20 years ago.

Let's Get Some Juice

April 5th, 2018


We've talked over coffee, we've chatted over beer... when are people going to start hanging out over juice?

My Last Meal

April 2nd, 2018


I break down what my last meal ever would be.


April 1st, 2018


My local coffee shop has a lot of succulents... I appreciated it. Got coffee with an old friend.

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