"Make the bed creak" (Toronto)
December 3rd, 2018
Vicky writes a letter to all the boys in the world, Erica reviews a Weird Al Yankovic concert, Jane wonders about the future, and much more. Recorded live at the Royal Cinema in Toronto in partnership with The Word on …
"Farting in the bath" (Vancouver)
November 19th, 2018
Annelies farts in the bathtub, Emilie overhears her parents having sex, Ryan shares a Star Trek Christmas story, and much more. Recorded live at The …
"Once upon a time in Barfland" (Kitchener)
November 5th, 2018
Stephanie shops for underwear, Sean re-writes “The Three Little Pigs,” Tanis dreams of Jonathan Brandis, and much more. Recorded live at The Walper …
October 22nd, 2018
A very special episode full of spooky, scary, spine-tingling childhood and teenage writing, recorded live across Canada.
"Mouth-to-mouth contact" (Toronto)
October 8th, 2018
Chris has a Star Trek sex dream, Luke gets a haircut, Lauren swears (a lot), and much more. Recorded live at the Royal Cinema in Toronto in …
"A virginal sex goddess" (St. Albert)
September 24th, 2018
Taylor lights a canoe on fire, Maura experiences an embarassing gas leak, Vanessa sees Daniel Radcliffe nude, and much more. Recorded live at the …
"P.S. I only love you for your money" (St. Albert)
September 10th, 2018
Trisha writes an “ode to Steve,” Kate compares sex to pizza, Jennifer argues about her phone curfew, and much more. Recorded live at in St. Albert.
"Grandma slept in her bed naked" (Toronto)
August 27th, 2018
Leah accepts an Oscar, Dylan starts a horse club, Brian gets a blood test at camp, and much more. Recorded live at the Royal Cinema in Toronto.
"Dear Michael Jackson" (Calgary)
August 13th, 2018
Inez gets her first boyfriend, Wade writes California Raisins fan fiction, Jessica shares passive aggressive poetry, and much more. Recorded live at …
"I’m worried about dry humping" (Vancouver)
July 30th, 2018
Debra gets her period, Chris writes a crime novel, Jayda falls in love at first sight, and much more. Recorded live at the York Theatre in Vancouver.
"Big pimpin' life goals" (Ottawa)
July 16th, 2018
Matt pulls pranks, Yasmina visits Rome, Janna reads her personal mission statement, and much more. Recorded live at The Gladstone Theatre in Ottawa.
"A handy turn of events" (Calgary)
July 2nd, 2018
Luke writes a breakup letter, Jason curses his romantic rival, Kristina shares a poem about a scab, and much more. Recorded live at the Leacock …
"My purity ring" (Vancouver)
June 18th, 2018
Brittany writes to her future husband, Marlene contemplates going all the way, Luke imagines life as a tugboat, and much more. Recorded live at the …
"I will burn you with my flaming positivity" (Kingston)
June 4th, 2018
Lori writes a fan letter to New Kids on the Block, Simone runs for student government, Aerlie and Jolene share a forbidden friendship, and much more. …
"Arousal ≠ chastity" (Saskatoon)
May 21st, 2018
Carmody lusts after Gary Oldman, Hank gets hit in the face, Mackenzie has a wart removed, and much more. Recorded live at The Broadway Theatre in …
"People are becoming fanatical about computers" (Saskatoon)
May 7th, 2018
Sarah makes rules for her future children, Val recaps the early 1980s, Cody reads a spooky Choose Your Own Adventure-style story, and much more. …
"Technically, I'm a witch" (Chicago)
April 23rd, 2018
Danielle sings about arithmetic, Lydia remembers her grandfather, Robbie writes a letter to the universe, and much more. Recorded live in Chicago.
"Your bum, my pillow" (Winnipeg)
April 9th, 2018
Brigette puts her heart on eBay, Kyra warns snoopers, Radean obsesses about bubble gum, and much more. Recorded live at the Park Theatre in Winnipeg.
"I wore my hot pants" (Thunder Bay)
March 26th, 2018
Jessica obsesses over Paula Abdul, Emma imagines being Prime Minister, Will shares a sci-fi horror story, and much more. Recorded live at The …
"We played strip poker and held a private séance" (Fredericton)
March 12th, 2018
Marsha plays strip poker, Genevieve solves a mystery, Julia hates her entire family, and much more. Recorded live at the Charlotte Street Arts Centre …
"Orange juice douche" (Toronto)
February 26th, 2018
Ryan gets in a fight, Adelade describes a very special dog, Fredde reads from his DeadJournal, and much more. Recorded live at the Tranzac Club in …
"My mom's heart" (Kitchener)
February 12th, 2018
Jessica describes the perfect guy, Moody reads a love poem, Meredith explains important rules for witches, and much more. Recorded live at The Walper …
"One big, long, painful, adolescent experiment" (Ottawa)
January 29th, 2018
Caitlin contemplates her first kiss, Todd writes a poem about picking your nose, Melanie reviews The X-Files, and much more. Recorded live at The …
"I wish I could French kiss" (Fredericton)
January 15th, 2018
Ryan lives the “rock star” life, Julie documents a secret crush, Pat wants a bike, and much more. Recorded live at Charlotte Street Arts Centre in …
"Indolent people with tacky ideas" (Charlottetown)
January 1st, 2018
Em explains the perils of pornography, Wendy writes long-distance love letters, Chet imagines villainous owls, and much more. Recorded live at the …
"It touched my feelings like a sledgehammer" (Peterborough)
December 18th, 2017
James writes a letter to Prime Minister Joe Clark, Mélanie crushes over MSN, Lisa predicts the future, and much more. Recorded live at Market Hall …
"Beating the bush" (Toronto)
December 4th, 2017
Chris discovers he’s gay, Tegan writes poems about Ebola, Ariana falls in love with an older man, and much more. Recorded live at the Tranzac in …
"You can't moose hunt for a living" (Toronto)
November 20th, 2017
Trevor fights Dracula, Peggy writes for her friend's zine, Ryan is valedictorian for the class of '96, and much more. Recorded live at the Hot Docs …
"Naked hugs are the best" (Calgary)
November 6th, 2017
Anastassia gives naked hugs, Khulud hunts for boys, Helen laments her evil step-grandmother, and much more. Recorded live at Yuk Yuk's in Calgary.
"Witch with a capital B" (Victoria)
October 23rd, 2017
Sheila shares a wartime record, Gregory moves to a new city, Elyse compares humans to dinosaurs, and much more. Recorded live at the Victoria Event …
"To bathe or not to bathe?" (St. Albert)
October 9th, 2017
Jordan is outraged by citrus fruit, Millie explains how to live with a kangaroo, Jeannine writes a poem about hygiene, and much more. Recorded live …
"Thinking about getting stoned" (Ottawa)
September 25th, 2017
Todd worries that he’s sitting next to a corpse, Rose reads poems about unrequited love, Diane wishes upon a star, and much more. Recorded live at …
"Ten things I love about Matt" (Vancouver)
September 11th, 2017
Zahida passes out during sex ed, Geoff writes a very Canadian spy story, Mandy gets a crush on the class president, and much more. Recorded live at …
"Brains are better than boobs" (St. Albert)
August 28th, 2017
Maura contemplates puberty, Matt poops his pants, Michelle imagines a family of horses, and much more. Recorded live at The Arden Theatre in St. …
“Kiss virgin" (Vancouver)
August 14th, 2017
Ivy puts a flashlight in her mouth, Alex shares a jealous teen love letter, Jasmin kisses a boy in Stanley Park, and much more. Recorded live at the …
"He was puberized" (Ottawa)
July 31st, 2017
Michelle meets her cute penpal, Fadhili obsesses over Transformers, Marty shares a whale of a tale, and much more. Recorded live at Yuk Yuk's in Ottawa.
"Single and ready to mingle" (Kitchener)
July 17th, 2017
Elizabeth faces a betrayal, Nitica disagrees with the President of India, Nathan searches for loopholes, and much more. Recorded live at the Registry …
"I practically broke my butt" (Sudbury)
July 3rd, 2017
Kayla mourns the passing of Napster, Matthew visits Death Cliff, Jessica writes love letters set in the future, and much more. Recorded live at Fromagerie Elgin in Sudbury.
"You are not a beefcake" (Toronto)
June 19th, 2017
Sarah writes a fan letter to Dean Cain, Chandra has a steamy make-out session, Anuj shares a story about the human reproductive system, and much more. Recorded live at the Tranzac in Toronto.
"He went to Uranus" (Winnipeg)
June 5th, 2017
Suzie explains why it's good to lie (sometimes), Kameron wishes for a job with good pay, Carly and Lauren visit Planet Oreo, and much more. Recorded live at The Park Theatre in Winnipeg.
"Joey the Hormone" (Montréal)
May 22nd, 2017
Kate shaves her armpits, Jeffrey meets a religious blood cell, Mary publicly shames her father, and much more. Recorded live at La Sala Rossa in Montréal.
"Peanut butter is my universe" (Saskatoon)
May 8th, 2017
Dylan fights giant tarantulas, Camille shares a message from the Pope about drugs, Luke tells an amazing story of survival in southern Montana, and …
"I'm pretty sure I missed his lips" (Regina)
April 24th, 2017
Robyn meets a flying whale, Todd tells a cautionary tale about drugs and alcohol, Ashley gets a hug from Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20, and much more. …
"If you are lucky, you will die" (Kingston)
April 10th, 2017
Wendy reflects on the Apollo 11 space mission, Chris writes horoscopes for his elementary school newsletter, Kristy dresses up as a prostitute for …
"Love is like a terrifying blanket" (Toronto)
March 27th, 2017
Frances writes love letters to a stranger, Tish vists planet Grammar, Matthew buys a discount turkey burger, and much more. Recorded live at the Tranzac in Toronto.
"My mom is nice. My dad is OK." (Windsor)
March 13th, 2017
Nellie crushes on fictional characters, Dan plays spin the bottle, Rachel learns a history lesson, and much more. Recorded live at The Rondo in Windsor, ON.
This episode is brought to you by the CAMH One Brave Night …
"I will now talk about my sorrows" (Montréal)
February 27th, 2017
Talia overcomes her shyness, Josh reads Indiana Jones fan fiction, Madeline crushes on her bandstand partner, and much more. Recorded live at La Sala Rossa in Montréal.
"Space yogurt" (Hamilton)
February 13th, 2017
Breanne loses her temper, Jody writes a revenge poem, Ryan recaps game shows, and much more. Recorded live at The Spice Factory in Hamilton.
"Smiling is an infectious disease" (Toronto)
January 30th, 2017
Bhoomika gets infected, Benj has a love affair with an inanimate object, Chelsea invents a menstruation detective, and much more. Recorded live in Toronto at the Tranzac club.
"Homemade birth movies" (Ottawa)
January 16th, 2017
Cassandra explores Wicca, Adam avoids birth movies, Derek writes a food-based love poem, and much more. Recorded live at Yuk Yuk's in Ottawa.
"God bless Green Day and Danny Williams" (Halifax)
January 2nd, 2017
Emilie gets a visit from the cow inseminator, Toni gets caught drinking, Jennifer writes fan fiction about public transit, and much more. Recorded live at The Company House in Halifax.
"Hello there, big boy" (Toronto)
December 19th, 2016
John feels funny about Christmas carols, Roger moves to Canada, Esther writes mandatory letters from camp, and much more. Recorded live in Toronto at …
"Search my remains for more answers" (Montréal)
December 5th, 2016
Jon runs away from home, Simon runs away from a drug rehab program, Kristen critiques Shakespeare, and much more. Recorded live at La Sala Rossa in Montréal.
"I love you more than chicken hearts" (Calgary)
November 21st, 2016
Song pulls a telemarketing prank, Rebecca obsesses over Justin Timberlake, Melanie makes a "special friend" at camp, and much more. Recorded live in …
"Looks old in a hot way" (Ottawa)
November 7th, 2016
Susan steals vegetables, Glenn goes bumper-hitching, Claire reads an angry letter addressed to math, and much more. Recorded live in Ottawa, ON.
"We're not dating. We're just in love with each other." (Vancouver)
October 24th, 2016
Tara writes a letter to her future self, Ron loves and lusts in vain, Felicia and Skylar discuss hookups, and much more. Recorded live in Vancouver, BC.
"My yearly love attack" (Whitehorse)
October 10th, 2016
George might be a bowling addict, Laurel suggests ways to improve Whitehorse, Andrew takes care of his baby brother, and much more. Recorded live at the Old Fire Hall in Whitehorse, Yukon. Co-presented by BYTE …
"Stages of horniness" (Toronto)
September 26th, 2016
Rachel plans a skinny-dipping prank, Josh writes a very formal love note, Dianne mashes up fairy tales, and much more. Recorded live at the Tranzac Club in Toronto.
"The first time I'd seen a real one" (Yellowknife)
September 12th, 2016
Maureen contemplates losing her virginity, Rajiv writes a lullabye about the Iran-Contra affair, Kimberley shares a steamy shower scene, and much …
"Who needs boobs? I don't." (Edmonton)
August 29th, 2016
Jamie lists things (and people) she hates, Nora and Stanley find love in the feminine hygiene aisle, Carlito writes a song about girl repellent, and much more. Recorded live at the Mercury Room in Edmonton, AB.
"My love floats lonely as a feather" (Vancouver)
August 15th, 2016
Bernadette makes a silent vow, Omar rebels against middle school propaganda, Willow writes an obituary, and much more. Recorded live at the Biltmore …
"What's with all these freaking nudists?" (Toronto)
August 1st, 2016
Nikki fights to end cruelty in nursery rhymes, Brent is different when he's alone, Chris watches late-night erotica on TV, and much more. Recorded live at the Tranzac in Toronto, ON.
"We play smoochie-pie on the couch" (Winnipeg)
July 18th, 2016
Lexi visits the Czech Republic, Gabrielle finds herself in a love square, Carson meets the monster from the Black Lagoon, and much more. Recorded live at the Park Theatre in Winnipeg, MB.
"You stole my electron" (Regina)
July 4th, 2016
Evan writes a letter to Wayne's World, Sabrina tells a terrifying tale about a murderous English teacher, Kaylee grabs her crush's balls, and much more. Recorded live at the Artesian in Regina, SK.
"Love me, bananas" (Montréal)
June 20th, 2016
Shelby worries about evil bananas, Patrick visits another planet, Simone stops indenting, and much more. Recorded live at La Sala Rossa in Montréal, QC.
"I'm not one of those psycho girls" (Vancouver)
June 6th, 2016
Heidi tries to keep things above the neck, Cam rips off a classic fable, Elena writes a letter to Prince William, and much more. Recorded live at the Biltmore Cabaret in Vancouver, BC.
"Don't let the bed bugs get you pregnant" (Victoria)
May 23rd, 2016
Carolyn finds an envelope full of nude photos, Preeti questions her faith, Rob and Trish read their love letters from 42 years ago, and much more. …
"I would totally date you if I wasn't you" (Saskatoon)
May 9th, 2016
Barry gets a "hard-on" during The Ed Sullivan Show, Katherine weighs the pros and cons of losing her virginity, Danica files a report about the new …
"We looked and smelled deadly" (Halifax)
April 25th, 2016
Renee finds herself in an 8th-grade love triangle, Gordon writes short fiction about crime-fighting insects, Sarah confesses to petty crime, and much more. Recorded live at The Company House in Halifax, NS.
"Nothing is sexier than teamwork" (Toronto)
April 11th, 2016
Heather and Bianca share dating advice, Josh reads Zelda-themed short fiction, Mary Jean almost gets stood up, and and much more. Recorded live at the Tranzac Club in Toronto, ON.
"I hugged with girls today" (Winnipeg)
March 28th, 2016
Karleigh threatens the Tooth Fairy, Kaj reads a comic book about giant mutant beavers, Jen writes a letter to the Prime Minister, and much more. Recorded live at the Park Theatre n Winnipeg, MB.
"Virginity is like a birthday cake" (Calgary)
March 14th, 2016
Terra compares virginity to a birthday cake, Bradley explains how to find a rock, Mary plans to "bump off" a nun, and much more. Recorded live at Yuk Yuk's in Calgary, AB.
"At least I know I'm fertile" (Halifax)
February 29th, 2016
Erin laments being a late bloomer, Jenna reads her last will and testament, Michelle takes an east-coast-themed acid trip, and much more. Recorded live at The Company House in Halifax, NS.
"Nonfat lattes and decaf dreams" (Montréal)
February 15th, 2016
James wishes for a spray tan, Jessie reads jokes without punchlines, Zach shares a tale of unrequited love, and much more. Recorded live at La Sala Rossa in Montréal.
"Things to do with your menstrual blood" (Toronto)
January 31st, 2016
Olive lists things to do with your menstrual blood, Shirley describes a terrifying solar eclipse, Jeff reveals his secret soap opera obsession, and …
"Everyone thinks I'm a pothead" (Montréal)
January 17th, 2016
Misha predicts his own death, Jeffrey obsesses about goldfish, Sarah worries that people think she's a pothead, and much more. Recorded live at La …
"Here are four jokes; three of them dirty" (Ottawa)
January 3rd, 2016
Terry sets sexual goals at a church youth group, Karen deals with a dead bird, Dirk reads letters from camp written in the 1930s, and much more. Recorded live at Yuk Yuk's in Ottawa, ON. ## Links ## Rate GRTTWaK in …
227: "Before I die, I want to have sex" (Toronto)
December 19th, 2015
Heather gets a fart-related nickname, Andru takes a risky trip to second base, Brian writes a sharply worded letter to the editor, and much more. Recorded live at The Tranzac Club in Toronto, ON. ## Links ## Rate …
226: "Wearing a cape and farting" (Winnipeg)
December 6th, 2015
Angie finds out why lingerie is the devil, Inayat explains how to defeat bullies, Brady recounts an Olympic drug scandal, and much more. Recorded …
225: "I will not attack Nicholas" (London)
November 23rd, 2015
Angsty breakup poetry, an interview with a "dirty old man," and World War 3 at Santa's house. Recorded live at the London Music Club in London, ON. …
224: "A pornographic magazine hidden in a pile of wood" (Kitchener)
November 8th, 2015
Drunken necking, deep misunderstandings about the Catholic church, and a dirty magazine hidden in a pile of wood. Recorded live at The Registry …
223: "Wieners are stupid and so is health class" (Ottawa)
October 25th, 2015
A champion high-jumping snake, an underwhelming sex ed class, and what it's like to work in a cemetery. Recorded live at Yuk Yuk's in Ottawa, ON. ## Links ## Rate GRTTWaK in iTunes: http://goo.gl/pi3Ek3 Join the mailing …
222: "A couple of popped-out eyeballs" (Winnipeg)
October 11th, 2015
Plans for revenge, poetry about chicken pox, and and backhanded compliments in the form of career advice. Recorded live at the Kings's Head Pub in Winnipeg, MB. ## Links ## Rate GRTTWaK in iTunes: https://goo.gl/xbWjGw …
221: "Gone are my days of hedonism and mediocrity" (Yellowknife)
September 27th, 2015
Weak bladders, friends of the forest, and a proven strategy for dealing with bullies. Recorded live at the Black Knight Pub in Yellowknife, NT. ## …
220: "We are getting away with murder since you left" (Edmonton)
September 13th, 2015
A report on flying cows, an acrostic poem music video request, and a collection of bizarre elementary school aphorisms. Recorded live at the Mercury …
219: "Why is Dad being a bum?" (Calgary)
August 31st, 2015
An elementary school detective agency, teenage infidelity, and an urgent desire to shave your legs. Recorded live at Broken City in Calgary, AB. ## …
218: "Be careful of anyone named Trina" (St. John's)
August 17th, 2015
Childhood revenge fantasies, a fake newspaper article, and a journal entry written directly to God. Recorded live at The Rocket Room in St. John's, NL. ## Links ## Rate GRTTWaK in iTunes: http://goo.gl/83A07W Join the …
217: "I'm crying while I write this letter" (Halifax)
August 2nd, 2015
A secret spy club, haiku about death, and a murder-mystery coming out story. Recorded live at The Company House in Halifax, NS. ## Links ## Rate GRTTWaK in iTunes: http://goo.gl/g0aPTF Join the mailing list: …
216: "Today is breeding day" (Charlottetown)
July 19th, 2015
Poetry about the female reproductive system, a violent Easter story, and accidental animal erotica. Recorded live at The Guild in Charlottetown, PE. …
215: "It's not a cult!" (Detroit)
July 5th, 2015
Firearm accidents, a speech for Bill Gates, and a step-by-step guide to popularity. Recorded live at Cliff Bell's in Detroit, MI. ## Links ## Rate …
214: "Someone pooed in the pool" (Toronto)
June 21st, 2015
Letters to the tooth fairy, stolen baseball tickets, and advice on keeping (and losing) your virginity. Recorded live at the Gladstone Hotel Ballroom …
213: "You live and you learn" (Windsor)
June 7th, 2015
Breaking up, getting fired, and dissing your home country. Recorded live at Phog Lounge in Windsor, ON. ## Links ## Rate GRTTWaK in iTunes: http://goo.gl/beoEWq Join the mailing list: http://goo.gl/7XsDkm Upcoming live …
212: "Mom always said MSN was the devil" (Toronto)
May 24th, 2015
A Jim Carrey obsession, Gulf War analysis from an 11-year-old, and the most intense love letter you'll ever hear. Recorded live at the Gladstone …
211: "Stabbing each other with our insecurities" (Vancouver)
May 10th, 2015
Angry LiveJournal entries, a poem about losing your virginity, and a dead moose carcass. Recorded live at Electric Owl Social Club in Vancouver, BC. ## Links ## Rate GRTTWaK in iTunes: http://goo.gl/xHLCxb Join the …
210: "Fires are not nice! Fires hurt!" (Victoria)
April 26th, 2015
Childhood pyrophobia, a sister pact, and a plan to rid the world of nuclear bombs. Recorded live at the Victoria Event Centre in Victoria, BC. ## Links ## Rate GRTTWaK in iTunes: http://goo.gl/xHLCxb Join the mailing …
209: "Stupit and dumb and especially ugly" (Hamilton)
April 13th, 2015
Dead hamsters, spin the bottle, and the truth about NYC. Recorded live at the Spice Factory in Hamilton, Ontario. ## Links ## Rate GRTTWaK in iTunes: http://goo.gl/xHLCxb Join the mailing list: http://goo.gl/xcgA6f …
208: "Backslide into lust" (Calgary)
March 29th, 2015
Passive-aggressive poetry, sex in the 1980s, and a really great first date. Recorded live at Broken City in Calgary, Alberta. ## Links ## Join the mailing list: http://goo.gl/xcgA6f Upcoming live shows: …
207: "Half-baked psycho pervert" (Banff)
March 15th, 2015
Phantom killer kittens, a fight over an $800 phone bill, and an island with no babes. Recorded live at The Club in Banff, Alberta. ## Links ## Join the mailing list: http://goo.gl/xcgA6f Upcoming live shows: …
206: "I had a mucus problem" (Toronto)
February 20th, 2015
Teenage makeout fantasies, financial advice from a 9-year-old, and what it's like to be friend-dumped, twice. Recorded live at The Garrison in …
"Hayrides and other indignities" (Ottawa)
February 9th, 2015
Unsolicited apology notes, vampire-inspired poetry, and political analysis from a 9-year-old. Recorded live at the Bytown Tavern in Ottawa, Ontario. …
"I don't even know what hormones are!" (Windsor)
January 26th, 2015
Hot dog obsession, Canada-U.S. relations, and falling in love with a waiter. Recorded live at Phog Lounge in Windsor, Ontario. ## Links ## Upcoming live shows: http://goo.gl/XsQENQ GRTTWaK mailing list: …
"My new nickname is 'mouth'"(Toronto)
January 18th, 2015
A bald eagle, war between Canada and China, and lots of French kissing. Recorded live at The Garrison in Toronto, Ontario.
"My hand was all the way on her butt" (Halifax)
January 12th, 2015
Dead chickens, embarrassing erections, and a childhood overdose of vitamin C. Recorded live at The Company House in Halifax, Nova Scotia.
"I was 9, but I was tough" (Montreal)
January 5th, 2015
Season 2 kicks off with teenage existential angst, a visit with Ronald Reagan, and a few questions about Jesus. Recorded live at La Vitrola in …
Welcome to the new GRTTWaK podcast feed
December 16th, 2014
Brand new episodes of Grownups Read Things They Wrote as Kids are coming in early 2015, and you'll find them right here, in our new podcast feed. Welcome aboard! Subscribe with iTunes: https://itun.es/i6gJ9HR Subscribe …