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Funny Messy Life

80 EpisodesProduced by Michael BlackstonWebsite

Stories about life, relationships, and culture delivered in a way that will help brighten your day or at least make you ask, "What is he smokin'?" But don't worry. It's all in good fun and it's family friendly. I'm Michael Blackston and these are tales from my blog - in audio form - all based on rea… read more

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Band Dad - 078

May 7th, 2022

9:04

The past few weeks have been extra hard on me, and as I sit here and write this out, I really don’t feel like it. See, on top of everything else …

I Changed My Mind - 077

April 29th, 2022

11:02

There’s a snarky saying about how women change their minds. It goes something like, A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s because she changes it more often.

In my experience, women won’t mind you saying that when …

Welcome Back ... Back - 076

April 22nd, 2022

15:26

Let’s see … how should I describe my back issues? Um …. If there was a further sublevel of hell past anything Dante came up with where the devil …

Ghosts of Podcast Past - C1G (Stage Stories Part 2) - 075

March 4th, 2022

39:43

Part of a conversation with my friend, Toni King from a previous podcast called, "Cue One Go - The Theatre Show". We're talking about things that happened onstage.

Ghosts of Podcast Past - C1G (Stage Stories Part 1) - 074

February 25th, 2022

33:00

Due to my busy schedule, I'm going to be giving you a look back into the history of my podcasting. In this episode, I'll introduce you to my friend, …

The Uncanny Consequences Of Being Me - 073

December 31st, 2021

12:43

The Uncanny Consequences Of Being Me

The title of this piece reads like a fancy-pants movie they’d show at a film festival where the people in the audience all eat their popcorn with a fork so they won’t get their …

Special Christmas 2021 Episode

December 25th, 2021

16:11

A Christmas interview with my 8 year old daughter, Merida.

My Perfect Christmas - 072

December 24th, 2021

15:23

My Perfect Christmas

I told you so. I suspect a few of my regular listeners didn’t believe me when I said I’d be back to Funny Messy Life after a …

Diary Of A Rage Monster - 071

October 1st, 2021

17:36

   Well, I felt really stupid this morning. And then I felt even more stupid around lunch time. And then I felt supremely stupid at the end of the day. Why? Because I was having a bad day.

   Actually, check that. There …

Southern Card Declined - 070

September 24th, 2021

10:31

   I make my home in the Deep South. Northeast Georgia to be exact. I was born and raised here, I love our traditions, I love and respect my mama, I’m proud that there’s a church on every corner, and my rear end is …

Twas The Night Before Dentist - 069

September 4th, 2021

12:07

   You want to know what having ten teeth extracted at once will do for you? It will make you long for your happy place, that’s what it’ll do for you. I’ve made no secret that I’ve had some pretty major dental issues …

Getting Old Is Getting Old - 068

August 20th, 2021

11:35

   It’s refreshing to be able to find a place to rest from a road trip and ease my mind from the perpetual gray asphalt desert that the interstate …

My Jesus Shirt - 067

August 13th, 2021

9:46

   The older I get, the more I realize Mama was right … Your mouth can get you in trouble. Actually, the older I get, the more I realize Mama was …

Take This Job And Shove It - 066

August 6th, 2021

18:23

   Today, I’ll tell you that I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m blessed to get to do what I do for a living, and although the road getting here was long …

The Ugly Dutchling - 065

July 29th, 2021

10:38

   I’ve been toying with some ideas about new kinds of stories to tell you. Originally, I thought I could get listeners to send in tales about their …

Bad Decisions - 064

July 24th, 2021

17:18

   As a whole, I’m happy about how my life has turned out so far. Hopefully, there is plenty more left of my story, but you never can tell. We live …

Questions For God - 063

July 5th, 2021

12:05

   I don’t want to be one of those old men that constantly gripe about stuff because I’m just generally mad. I like to think I have a positive …

A Day In The Life Of An Ape - 062

June 25th, 2021

13:18

   I have a laundry list of insecurities that keep me in a perpetual state of uncertainty. Uncertainty about whether or not the last thing I sang was on key, uncertainty about whether or not the last thing I wrote was …

Into The Woods (not the musical) - 061

June 19th, 2021

12:32

   I’m a Type 2 diabetic, which means that I should stay a safe distance from sugary delights, such as ice cream, milk chocolate, cakes and pies, …

The Power of My Pleasure - 060

June 12th, 2021

17:51

  I will never understand why fast food chains use anything other than the Chick-fil-a model for customer service. Until Chic-fil-a came on the scene with their

A Hard Sell - 059

May 28th, 2021

11:02

   Having a radio show used to mean drinking a lot of old, stale coffee, coddling drunk callers on the overnight shift, and eating things left over …

Sister Sister (Again) - 058

May 22nd, 2021

15:48

   When you live with someone for a long time, the stories pile up. That’s especially true when the people who live together are siblings, because not only are you with each other all the time, but you’re also going …

Talking Southern - 057

May 14th, 2021

10:14

   As I begin to write out this piece, I’m sitting in a tiny, square sandwich shop called, Bob’s Sandwiches. It’s located on a side street in Brookhaven, Mississippi, and I have never eaten here. I’ve passed by it a …

The Man In The Mirror - 056

May 6th, 2021

17:56

   Death is something everyone handles differently. Even when mourning looks relatively the same among people from the outside, the emotional details can be a lot different. For me, death has always been another part of …

The World Of Wally - 055

April 24th, 2021

10:29

   Human kind is a veritable cornucopia of diverse personalities. To observe the Homo Sapien in its natural habitat, is to be immersed into an …

Messing With Scammers - 054

April 16th, 2021

14:29

   I like to mess with the phone scammers that call me eighty times a day. I’ve visited this past time before in Funny Messy Life, every so often, …

That Was Not Funny - 053

April 9th, 2021

13:27

   As I tucked my daughter into bed later the same night after I had interviewed her for this podcast, I could tell she was upset about something, so …

Heaven On My Mind -052

April 2nd, 2021

11:18

   The recent weeks have been hard on my mom’s side of the family because my grandmother, the incomparable and amazing Sue, which is somehow short for Geneva (I’ll explain that in a different story because Sue needs a …

Foot, Meet Mouth - 051

March 29th, 2021

14:45

   I like to think I’m charming and kind. My mama raised me to respect others and to think twice before I spit out the first thought that pops into my head. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen. This episode is …

The Bin Store - 050

March 19th, 2021

13:09

   Every now and then I sit down to prepare an episode of this amazing podcast and go through all the trappings that encapsulate the perfect writing …

Life Lessons - 049

March 12th, 2021

13:36

   I got a chance to talk my cousin the other day - the one who was always right there beside me as we did stupidly stupid things. We don’t get the chance to talk much anymore, so it never fails that, upon hearing his …

A Conversation With My 16 Year Old - 048

February 26th, 2021

38:45

No transcript again. We're in the middle of a series of interviews with my family, soooo......

A Conversation With My 7 Year Old - 047

February 19th, 2021

24:03

   This is an interview I did with my daughter, Merida. (Yes, named after the Disney princess). There is no transcript of the conversation, so please listen to the episode to hear the sweetest little girl in the world. …

A Tribute To Lewis Grizzard - 046

February 12th, 2021

15:00

   If you grew up in the south or even have been a fan of comedy journalism, mainly during the eighties, you may recognize the name of the man I want to pay tribute to in this episode.

   The writing style from which I …

My Type A Personality - 045

February 5th, 2021

10:21

   I can never seem to make people understand that keeping busy is the way I rest. People see me staying busy and because they, themselves, are happy to spend time in front of Netflix, they think that’s the way …

This Land Is Our Land - 044

January 29th, 2021

16:32

   The nineteen-eighties are a cornucopia of fond memories for me. That’s when my childhood was in full bloom - the days between the times that have …

Thanks, COVID-19! - 043

January 22nd, 2021

11:46

   One president is famous for saying, “Change is good.” He’s also famous for such gems as, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman,” and “It depends on what the definition is of is is or isn’t is.” And I don’t …

A Day At The Office - 042

January 15th, 2021

12:18

   I guess everybody has something they’d call a guilty pleasure. Even the best of us sometimes give in to temptation and it depends on the offense …

Back In The Saddle - 041

January 9th, 2021

16:27

   2021 promises to be a great year for me. Of course, I think I said the same thing at the beginning of 2020 and look what a dumpster fire that turned out to be. But 2021 is starting out with a bunch of stuff in place …

To Deac or Not To Deac - 040

September 17th, 2020

13:32

   My pastor recently delivered a sermon that I needed to pay extra attention to. It’s not that I don’t always pay close attention to the sermons, but anybody who’s spent much time in the congregation of a church will …

Shingles All The Way - 039

April 14th, 2020

13:42

   The state of Georgia got its orders like every other state did. Our official decree was something along the lines of, “Stay in your homes for the …

My Passion For The Phantom - 038

March 31st, 2020

13:25

   The world has changed overnight. Things that only happen in the movies are playing out right before our eyes and it’s pretty surreal knowing we’re going through a major historical event. As COVID-19 continues to be a …

What it's Like Being An Artist - 037

March 20th, 2020

13:02

   I’ve mentioned several times over the span of this podcast that I make my living as an artist. Mostly, I etch on black granite gravestones, but I haven’t talked much about the fact that I dabble in several other …

Driving Lessons - 036

March 15th, 2020

11:01

   As I sit in a fast food restaurant creating this episode, my son is 15 years old and wants to drive everywhere. In a few months, he’ll be going …

I Waited Too Late - 035

March 6th, 2020

16:31

   I love to tell stories, especially in writing, and if I can use the responses from the stuff I’ve created as a gauge, I’d say I’m pretty darn good at it. I’m not tooting my own horn here. All a writer has to go by is …

What A Way To Go - 034

February 29th, 2020

11:06

   I work in the death industry. That’s the way I put it when I don’t feel like going into detail about what I do for a living and would rather you …

The Time I Peed On My Leg - 033

February 21st, 2020

10:15

   I’m a guy and guys have lots of different things about them that make them unique. There is one universal thing most guys have in common, though, and that is a deep love and appreciation for the comic form known as

Words Have Meaning - 032

February 7th, 2020

9:27

   I’m always the last one to the party when it comes to whatever whippors the younger generation is snapping. Just when I felt comfortable using …

Feets Don't Fail Me Now - 031

January 31st, 2020

9:43

Feets Don't Fail Me Now
For years it went something like this …

I'm Turning Into Someone I'm Not - 030

January 28th, 2020

9:00

   I’m changing into someone I never thought I’d be. When I look into the mirror, it’s beginning to be hard to recognize the man staring back at me. …

Messing With Telemarketers - 029

January 10th, 2020

14:46

   If you have a phone in your pocket, you know the frustration that comes with what I’m getting ready to talk about. Telemarketers and the annoying trends most of us have to deal with on a daily basis. There’s …

I Had To Leave - 028

December 17th, 2019

11:56

   It hasn’t been a very fun year for me as a college football fan. It’s weird that I should say that, but it’s been a weird season. My team won all …

One Truly Amazing Dog - 027

November 24th, 2019

10:31

If I told you I had the best dog in the world growing up, you’d probably disagree with me. You’d tell me about your dog, how it was the best dog in …

Just A Good Old Boy - 026

November 8th, 2019

11:08

Are you old enough to have had one of those moments when you try to do something you, as we say in the south, used-ta-could, but suddenly realize …

Hotober In The South - 025

November 1st, 2019

13:29

I’m a man of extremes, apparently. My wife has mentioned more than one time, in the midst of an argument, that it’s either all or nothing with me and that makes her want to crawl up the wall. Of course, then I tell her …

Odd Jobs - 024

September 23rd, 2019

25:03

In the last episode, I talked all about my two years spent as a prisoner in the small loans industry. And while I was building the back story, I mentioned my stint as a Walmart portrait photographer, which brought back …

The Loan Man - 023

August 16th, 2019

21:46

Previously, I mentioned a part of my life that I still have nightmares about and I hesitate to even go into it now, but I promised I would tell you …

Fur Babies - 022

July 26th, 2019

17:58

They call them Fur Babies.
I consider myself to be a strong, manly, straight-to-the-point kind of guy … usually. But I have to admit that I’ve embraced the term Fur Babies. It fits. They’re furry, for one and also, …

Road Rage - 021

July 11th, 2019

24:52

I’m not sure if anybody’s ever done research on why Americans become rabid, buggy-eyed butt hornets when we get behind the wheel, but if they ever do figure it out, I want to be among the first ones to know. I know it’s …

Pet Peeves - 020

June 11th, 2019

23:06

   All I wanted to do was sit down somewhere and write. I’m back to writing the podcast episodes out blog style because although I thought it would …

Work Stories - 019

April 26th, 2019

39:25

I'm a professional artist. I travel all over the southeastern part of the United States etching detailed images onto black granite. In my over ten years of working for myself, I've gathered a few stories that I hope …

My First Love - 018

April 12th, 2019

20:46

Her name was Linda. Actually, that's a lie, but I've changed her name to protect her privacy because, well ... we were in love and we were way ahead of our time. We were also small children. In episode 18, we're going …

Monsters - FML 017

April 1st, 2019

35:38

Monsters under the bed? Nah. Monsters in the closet? Nope. I was never that kid, but I did have some scary encounters. In episode 17, I’ll give you the inside scoop on a few things that went bump in the night and other …

The Last Twenty Pounds, I Can Do It All By Myself, and Is That Free?

November 30th, 2018

27:16

 When it comes to interesting stuff in the world, little compares to the intricate workings of the human mind. From kids to the elderly and entire …

Fighting The Good Fight, The Barbie Doll Conundrum, and Raising Children

November 19th, 2018

28:11

 Sometimes I think my problem is just that I’m messed up in the head and I have a circle of family and friends who’ll nod in agreement when I say that. Yes. Yes, that man is messed up in the head big time.

 But …

The Hot Stupid Sun Is Hot, Diabetes Ruined My Day, and The Acceptable Mulk and Other Semi-Heroes

October 26th, 2018

24:04

  I’ve got problems just like everybody else. I know it’s sort of a sham hiding them all behind a barricade of laughter and merriment the likes rarely seen beyond newborn babies who think a dirty diaper is funny and …

The Trendy Curmudgeon, The Eight Commandments of The Men's Room, and My Slow Is Faster Than Your Slow

October 5th, 2018

28:43

 Society has a lot of rules, but being that I live in the Land Of The Free, society around me likes to bend them, and there’s nothing I can do about …

No Sleep For Me, I Just Wanted To Leave, & My Wreck

September 13th, 2018

26:07

 As I think about the direction this podcast is going, I realize I want it to be more story driven and less Op/Ed. Sure, I like to put my thoughts out there as a little cud to chew for the readers and listeners, but I’m …

How I Identify

September 3rd, 2018

28:08

 Today we have a lot of discussions about how people “identify”. Some dude with a beard identifies as a little girl in pig tails, some little girl in pig tails has decided she identifies as a middle aged oil rig worker …

Sister Sister - FML 010

August 18th, 2018

28:48

 If you asked people to tell you one of the most important things in life, it wouldn’t take long for them to say family. For me, family is a main …

Saving The World - FML 009

July 27th, 2018

25:40

Note: The following content is created tongue-in-cheek style and is intended for the comedic entertainment and enjoyment of people who are not easily …

Social Studies - FML 008

July 14th, 2018

32:20

 People are sensitive animals and it doesn’t take much to bring a knee-jerk, often irrational, response when things happen that we consider out-of-the-norm. Newton’s Law states that for every action, there is an equal …

Gender Issues - FML 007

June 29th, 2018

26:39

 I’ve never been confused about my gender or even curious what it would be like to wear a dress. So to be crystal clear, I’m all dude. But I spent a …

You May Be Right I May Be Crazy - FML 006

June 16th, 2018

22:49

 There are plenty of ways to describe my personality and most of the good ones rank pretty low on a political correctness scale of one to ten. A few …

Relationships - FML 005

June 1st, 2018

24:36

 Ah, relationships. They're what make the world go round. From Adam and Eve to your crazy aunt and uncle who wear tinfoil hats in case the aliens finally come, relationships have defined our lives. Even if you think …

I Had A Condition - FML 004

May 17th, 2018

20:15

 You know what's funny? Watching somebody try to drink right after a trip to the dentist's office while their mouth is still numb and everything spills down the front of their shirt like a tiny baby. You know what's NOT …

People Watching - FML 003

May 4th, 2018

22:41

 If you stare too long at a person and they notice, you could find yourself in an awkward situation that requires, “Lucy, you got some ‘splaining to …

Shenanigans - FML 002

May 4th, 2018

26:28

 Shenanigans is defined by Webster's dictionary as tricky or questionable practices or conduct; also, high-spirited or mischievous activity. It's a …

The Insanity of Kids - FML 001

May 4th, 2018

21:59

Parents.

If you're not one, there's a good chance you had one or maybe even two at some point. As a child I wasn't as much like so many of my peers – always thinking about growing up and becoming a blushing groom; …

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