Force Toast: A Star Wars Happy Hour

Stop buying expensive water bottles, you nerds. You have plenty of water bottles in your cabinet already! 

In Episode 92, hosts Alyce and Laura are* …

Stop mumbling and enunciate your profanities clearly, like a f*cking lady!

In Episode 91, hosts Alyce and Laura overcap* the holidays, let matts rate …

Is that a bounty puck in your pocket, or are you just happy to see us?

In Episode 90, hosts Alyce and Laura level* up to to fight the big boss, …

Happy belated Thanksgiving, from your favorite booze-infused podcast hosts (and from us too)!

In Episode 89, hosts Alyce and Laura pull* themselves …

88 episodes in and we’re still disaffected, still holier-than-thou and still going strong, babe. Stay mad. 

In Episode 88, hosts Alyce and Laura are* …

Listen. Everyone pees in Star Wars… we presume. Or at least two dudes do, anyway. 

In Episode 87, hosts Alyce and Laura attempt* (kind of) to learn the names of the characters in Andor now that we’re halfway through the …

Grab your c+nt mug, listeners! We’re ushering in Q4 the only way we know how: by consuming alcohol while we talk about Star Wars.

In Episode 86, hosts …

Welcome to Drink, Drank, Drunken: a Star Wars happy hour! 

In Episode 85, hosts Alyce and Laura and Madisynn and Wongers are getting Lost In Space, getting froyo and watching The Sopranos. All of that’s to say, we talk …

Welcome, Shoe Wh*res! Multiple Star Wars streaming series are returning/premiering this month so it’s going to be a very happy, busy September.

In …

In Episode 83, hosts Alyce and Laura talk* about Star Wars, DUH. It’s a Star Wars podcast, idiot. So let’s dive into what’s filming, what’s done …

In Episode 82, hosts Alyce and Laura embark* on a rare, mid-week podcast recording sesh where they break down what’s happening in the world of Star Wars, become easily distracted and play a fun game that may have to be …

Did you hear? The U.S. Supreme Court decided women don’t get to make their own decisions about their reproductive health anymore and WE DISSENT. Join us in fighting back: https://www.gofundme.com/f/what-choice

In Episode …

Happy Pride Month, friends! 

In Episode 80 hosts Alyce and Laura are* drafting up a business plan to sell placemats featuring erotic Ewan/Hayden fan art for all you Star Wars Home Decor enthusiasts. We’ll have a …

Who’s touching down in London town in April?? Raise your hand! We can’t see you - it’s a podcast after all - but we love the enthusiasm! 

In Episode 79, hosts Alyce and Laura have* one big KENOBI WATCH and catch up on …

We’re so, so close to celebrating all things Star Wars in Anaheim! The sun is shining, the panel schedule is out, the lotteries are open - so let’s …

The sun is shining, it’s almost Star Wars Day, Celebration is getting close, no one has loose bowels, and everything is coming up Alyce! Cheers! Sláinte! Salud! 

In Episode 77, hosts Alyce and Laura recap* their recent …

Once you pop, the fun don’t stop. Force Toast and Pringles have that in common. 

In Episode 76, hosts Alyce and Laura have a lot of good money making ideas for Star Wars but no important Disney people want to listen to …

Have you ever wondered how sarlaccs reproduce? No? Too bad, now you’re gonna learn.

In Episode 75, hosts Alyce and Laura celebrate* the fact that this podcast somehow made it to 75 episodes? Like, how? Why? Who approved …

Welcome, citizen detectives! We’ve missed you! We've had a busy month of travels but we’re back to [hopefully] a somewhat regular schedule (lol but …

What’s that? Oh snap! It’s a whole lotta Recap on Tap! No cap, there’s just so much to unwrap. 

This is the part where you clap.

In Episode 73, hosts …

In Episode 72, hosts Alyce and Laura are deeply concerned* about Black Krrsantan getting dehydrated. Despite their concern for him during the Recap …

This episode is brought to you by a hotdog bar in a Drury Inn somewhere in Missouri. Not really.

In Episode 71, hosts Alyce and Laura return* from …

If you’re a news site editor reading this in the future, don’t even THINK about stealing our episode title and using it as a headline for your review of the Galactic Starcruiser hotel at Disney World. We will call you …

Listen, we give a warning in the description of every episode, but it is especially necessary for this one. Adult content ahead. Consider yourself …

Episode 68 is a week late, but it’s all good, because that gave hosts Alyce and Laura an extra week of Star Wars news to recap and discuss*:

• Hoarding …

In Episode 67, hosts Alyce and Laura are* pretty malicious posers who don’t have a lot of Star Wars news to discuss 

• Wow okay, we see how it is. Star …

Welcome to Force Toast: the After Dark edition. It’s just like regular Force Toast, except… actually yeah it’s just regular Force Toast.

In Episode …

Honest question: if clone commanders consume steroids to get bulky, do we think their junk still shrinks? 

In episode 65, hosts Alyce and Laura …

Hey! Hey, you! First things first, if you have not left us a review on Apple Podcasts yet, would you mind taking a quick second to do so? We haven’t …

Force Toast: It’s gross, gooey stuff*. But it’s stuff. 

Laura played a trivia match at Schmoedown Collision and she’s in AARP now. Those two things …

OK, first things first.

Laura is not casually munching on food during this episode. She’s using cough drops and jolly ranchers to keep her throat nice …

We’re just saying.

They could have called the Andor show something cool like “Fulcrum” or “Underworld: The Rebellion.” 

But they went with “Andor” and …

In Episode 61, hosts Alyce and Laura celebrate* Clink, Muchi and being only 8 episodes away from Episode 69. HEY OH! 

• There’s only one right way to …

Hey there, Maxxonistas! It’s Episode 60 of Force Toast and hosts Alyce and Laura recap* all that big Star Wars news we got on May the Fourth except …

What do we have here? A wee, little premiere of the newest Star Wars animated series? Why, yes! And just in time for Force Toast Tuesday, you love to see it.

So, before we get into it:

~ HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BIG, BAD SPOILER …

Alright, enough of this nonsense. Education is important so you all are going to learn some valuable lessons in this episode. Like how the Titanic was real and how to keep your horny toy poodle in check when he keeps …

Strap on, kid! No, that’s wrong. Like really wrong. Gross. Let’s start over.

Strap IN, kid! It’s Episode 58 of Force Toast! Hosts Alyce and Laura ponder* how many heads Kumail Nanjiani will have in the Kenobi show and …

Hear ye, hear ye! We are the Toast of the Force and we bring you the good word of timesheets and Tim Tams! 

In Episode 57, hosts Alyce and Laura have written* a jingle for the COVID-19 vaccine and if anyone steals it, …

No YOU’VE got eye problems! No, not you, Kelly Marie Tran. You’re perfect. Charles Soule too. Both of you: don’t ever change. 

In Episode 56, hosts …

It’s Episode Schfifty Five! And as always, this is going to be a very deep and serious show. No silliness to be had here. Move along, move along. 

LOL JK hosts Alyce and Laura share* their thoughts on the most recent …

Have you heard the good word? Our wee lil podcast is 2 years old! What? How? How did we get here? What even is this? Who are you? 

In Episode 54, …

Think of this podcast like Cher and cockroaches: it’s going to live forever. And until forever arrives, we’ve whipped up whatever this nonsense is for your listening pleasure!

In Episode 53, hosts Alyce and Laura are …

The year: 2021

The place: Trivs City

Population: Us

In Episode 52, there’s not a lot of news and hosts Alyce and Laura fail at Dry January and …

If we learned anything from 2020, it’s that 1) meat thermometers break easily and 2) you shouldn’t stick it in too deep. 

In Episode 51, hosts Alyce …

We’re not saying you HAVE to familiarize yourself with Molly Shannon’s Sally O’Malley character from Saturday Night live for this episode but…. it …

Hello there! Hello there! Hello there! 49 and feelin’ fine!

In Episode 49, hosts Alyce and Laura catch* up on their Thanksgivings (TV binging and champagne drunk, respectively), then it’s on to the most recent Star Wars …

Force Toast’s Episode 48 is brought to you by pimple cream and Fisher Price. 

I mean, not really. But it would be pretty cool, wouldn’t it, Fisher …

It’s Episode 47 and hosts Spooky Alyce and Laura spend their Halloween drinking and talking* about Star Wars - so it’s pretty much the same as any …

What do Kiera Knightley, puberty, 9/11 and There’s Something About Mary all have in common?

There’s only one way to find out! (It’s easy, just listen to this episode)

In episode 46, hosts Alyce and Laura have a big one …

This episode has EVERYTHING! Borat impressions! Ebola! Pizza parties! And as always, a little Star Wars talk for your listening pleasure. 

In Episode …

Hello and welcome to Do[n]g Show! This is a show for people who watched Saturday Night Live in the 90s. And also Star Wars.

In Episode 44, hosts Alyce and Laura are up* to their usual shenanigans! Laura makes a What If …

What do you get when you combine sugar, spice, and everything nice in Star Wars? Pickled Jedi! This is canon, by the way. Jedi in a jar. A forkful of …

Oh, did you all come here looking for Star Wars? This is an Addams Family Values podcast now. 

In Episode 42, hosts Alyce and Laura relive* the 90s, discuss what’s new in Star Wars news and rumors and try their hand at …

What do Xena: Warrior Princess and The Rise of Skywalker have in common? Find out in this episode of Force Toast: A Star Wars Happy Hour! 

In Episode 41, hosts Alyce and Laura just aren’t into Aphra, but they are into …

First off, on a scale from 1 to 10, how perfect are you at grilling shrimp? 

The answer: nowhere near as perfect as Ewan McGregor in the newest chapter of Alyce’s Obi-Wan Erotica. 

But we digress.

In episode 40, hosts …

Cheese dip, f*ck yeah.  By the way, we curse* in this podcast. This is your first and last warning, new listeners. Oh, and also, welcome!

In Episode 39, hosts Alyce & Laura are here to sh*t all over the latest and …

When 2020 began, did you ever consider that it would give you a Star Wars podcast that covers topics Hutts in hats, whether or not Galen Erso is a …

Cheers beers! It’s finally summer! And we’re toasting to our amazing community because there’s nothing sweeter than knowing our listeners AREN’T a bunch of racist bigots. 

We just love you, okay? Thanks for being you. 

…

As we go on...

We remember...

All the times our moms made us cry at graduation DAMMIT MOM

It’s graduation season (see what we did up there?) and hosts Alyce and Laura are graduating* from… well, nothing. So why not crack …

May the Fourth Be With You Two Weeks Ago, Basically! This is Episode 35 of Force Toast and hosts Alyce & Laura are going to take* you on a wild, …

The little sprinkle of lady power you didn’t know you needed this week! 

Or did you know you needed it? Did you actually go into this week hoping to get some sloppy, green girl power (why is it green?) dumped all over …

MARSDEN WATCH

James/Scott Marsden remains at large but, rest assured, hosts Alyce and Laura are on the case*! 

In Episode 33, the COVID-19 quarantine continues. Alyce has given up on needlepoint. Laura is running around …

Are those bushes growing on your face or are you just not getting your eyebrows waxed during quarantine? If so, same. Thankfully for you all, hosts …

If you’re happy and you know it and you really want to show it, if you’re happy and you know it, WASH YOUR F***ING HANDS, YA NASTIES

Does anyone else feel like you’ve lived through an apocalypse since we last recorded? …

Saddle up, pilgrim! Hosts Alyce and Laura react* to all the Star Wars nonsense in the news!   There’s book stuff, bra stuff, rumors stuff, TROS stuff …

Remember in The Empire Strikes Back when Han and Leia were bickering on the Falcon and he was like, “I GOT IT, LADY!” 

Yes? Same. Yes, we also remember that. Because trivia.

In episode 29, hosts Alyce and Laura miss* …

TRAINING MONTAGES! MAUL’S METAL BIRD LEGS! GREEN GOO! SAW GOES ROGUE! FLORUM! JULIA! HONDO!

Hosts Alyce and Laura wrap up* Force Toast’s bonus series of Recap on Tap with Seasons 5 and 6 of Star Wars: The Clone Wars so …

Go shawty!

It’s your birthday!

We gonna party like it’s your birthday!

We’re gonna sip soy sauce beer like it’s your birthday!

It’s a TOAST to Force Toast! Hosts Alyce and Laura are celebrating* the 1-year Anniversary of …

Yeah, we’re leaning into it now so you better be reading the next line in the style of The Clone Wars intro narrator.

BOOS! FIREY FORCE BUTTHOLE! SHIRTLESS FISTO! MAGIC NECKLACE! FLUID SACKS! BISCUIT!

Hosts Alyce and …

First up! Feeling generous? Ever thought about how much childhood cancer sucks balls? Our friend Nico is raising money for the Four Diamonds at Penn …

*To be read in the style of The Clone Wars intro narrator*

Cat-Lemur People! Scottish accent attempts! Angels from the moons of Iego! Upside down …

NEW DECADE WHO DIS? Honestly, who would have thought we would survive 2019? Like, not just this podcast, but all of us?

A good question… for another …

Happy New Year’s Eve! So we went to the theater a while back and saw a new movie - maybe you’ve heard of it? It’s a little indie flick called Star …

Laura does bad impressions/accents and Alyce is feeling a little icky but the show must go on!

Anyone else starting to feel like you’ve seen most of The Rise of Skywalker already with all these TV spots? To avoid a …

So time is still weird and you’re still ahead of us and we’re behind, but we’re all gonna be dead soon anyway so it doesn’t even matter! In episode 23, hosts Alyce and Laura catch up* on all that sweet Rise of Skywalker …

Q: What’s better than one bonus? 

A: A second bonus! 

Too bad we’re not talking about money. Just Force Toast content for your eager ears. In this Double Shot Bonus episode, hosts Alyce and Laura sit down with Mat from …

OK FIRST THING: We use the planet names Parnassus and Passanna interchangeably in this episode. Not because it’s right, but because we’re dumb. And by we, of course we mean Alyce and Laura. Pete and Josh are smart. …

Shimmy on down, Skywalkers!

We’re cutting the bullsh!t because we have A LOT to get to this week! You may have heard us preparing for a trivia …

Ew, what’s this? A Star Wars podcast? Um, actually we just got back from Los Angeles so this is a podcast about acai bowls now.

In Episode 21, hosts Alyce and Laura get everyone up to speed* on what happened in LA …

We pledge allegiance to the Toast! 

We are 20 episodes old! That’s crazy. We honestly thought all of us would be dead by now.

But since we’re all still …

Force Toast: your source for important topics like, What Cats: The Musical and Kylo Ren Have in Common, and Is Star Wars Actually Catholic As F-ck?

…

Bright Suns, nerds!

Hosts Alyce and Laura have to correct* literally everything they said in Episode 17, but then it’s onward and up the Spire to what’s in the news and what we’re reading! First up, some final thoughts …

Ask and you shall receive! After weeks of nothing new (besides books), D23 certainly delivered. Hosts Alyce and Laura are diving into* the Kenobi series announcement, The Mandalorian trailer, the timeline revealed at …

O’DOYLE RULES!

Have you heard? Force Toast is re-branding. This is now a Billy Madison/Cats on Broadway podcast. And we’re renaming our show “And Others: A ‘Just Search Star Wars’ Podcast.”

None of that is true. Except …

It’s “Top Gun” in Space! There’s even a thirsty beach volleyball scene for all of you Tom Cruise stans.

Not really. Tom Cruise isn’t in this book.

…

It's a Force Toast Sleepover! Put on your big girl panties, slap a Korean moisturizing mask on your face and try not to suck at Battlefront II. This is Episode 14 and hosts Alyce and Laura are here* to get you caught up …

Everything is back asswards because this is Episode 13 and recording sessions have been out of order and now the future is in the past and what is even happening?

Confused? Try being wine drunk and having to figure this …

Planet Earth. Only a small speck in a vast galaxy, but one that is home to a vast array of climates, landscapes and habitats for a seemingly endless …

Not sure who asked Lucasfilm for all of this prequel-adjacent storytelling but we are HERE FOR IT. Hosts Alyce and Laura discuss* the opening of Star Wars Galaxy's Edge at Disneyland, meet the characters that put the …

Win, lose, draw, draw, draw, draw, and around and around we go! Hosts Alyce and Laura catch up* on what’s to come in The Journey To The Rise of Skywalker, how they’re both allegedly dead now since they’re over age 30, …

It's an ode to our listeners! Slow news week be damned! This week hosts Alyce and Laura took* YOUR listener emails, tweets, DMs and voicemails and turned them into an entire podcast episode.

We asked for your thoughts …

It's an extra happy Happy Hour in the Force Toast cantina when hosts Alyce and Laura are joined* by Tiffany and Sarah, hosts of the new Star Wars podcast, BB8 Radio.

We go deep AF into the teaser for The Rise of …

Missing Chicago? Come back! We miss you! No? Fine. Anyway, ditch those Post-Celebration Blues and join hosts Alyce and Laura to relive* the highlights of our dearly departed Star Wars Celebration Chicago.

Not gonna lie, …

Doth thine ears deceive you? Nope, that's just the sound of ice clinking throughout basically the entire episode. Not sorry. Hosts Alyce and Laura discuss* what's in the pipeline for Star Wars publishing including Black …

Baby's first minisode! Laura spent part of this past weekend scoping out the West Building at McCormick Place (home to Star Wars Celebration Chicago April 11-15), and has some insights to share!

Hosts Alyce and Laura …

Hosts Alyce and Laura give* a brief update on what's in the news and discuss the forthcoming Rey/Aladdin crossover! JK! Not really. But they discuss …

Honorary Team Fireball is here to teach* you how to say say 'Jabba the Hutt' in french and other life skills. We check out some of the announcements about Galaxy's Edge, Star Wars Celebration and lightsabering becoming …

Panels are parties, parties are pizza, pizza is UNLIMITED power, let’s go! Star Wars Celebration Chicago is just around the corner and we are getting PUMPED! We’re talking* panels, after-parties, what to bring, general …

Alyce and Laura spend some time catching up on what to expect in the Star Wars universe in 2019. The wine-infused discussion* includes some predictions about the still-untitled Episode 9, what we know so far about The …

In this Podcast Prequel of Force Toast*, we popped some bubbly and watched the Star War that started it all for Alyce -- Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure! We ask important questions like, are Ewoks sexist? Is …

San Diego Comic Con 2018 took place July 19-22 and we recorded this episode* on July 23 to bring you all the news that is now old news. The con …

In this prologue* of the Force Toast Podcast, we pop some Skywalker Vineyards vino and take our first steps into a larger world! We introduce …

We saved our favorite teaser for last! We hope you have enjoyed all of the clips we've released over the last week or so. We can't wait to get our …

CLIP: Force Toast’s Episode 1 is a “Podcast Prequel,” in which Laura and Alyce discuss the The Clone Wars panel that took place at San Diego Comic …

Dearly beloved: In this clip from Episode 0 of Force Toast, Alyce and Laura mourn the untimely death of Star Wars. Despite all the new content coming down the pipeline - live action TV shows, animation series, all the …

In this clip from Podcast Prequel 2, Alyce and Laura have too much wine and go on a drunken Ewok Adventure in their recap of Caravan of Courage. Feather hats, giant spider puppets, Wicket is BAMF, and Mace Towani sucks. …

In this clip from Podcast Prequel 1, Alyce and Laura discuss their favorite Claudia Gray Star Wars canon novels during their recap of SDCC 2018. Full …

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