FWEP00050 Claire Nazar
Today we have a special guest her name is Claire Nazar, director of Kalco Law and also life builders which is an advocacy for marriage, of building successful relationships. I really personally found her interesting because Claire is a very down to earth lady and because of this I want to guest her story out there and share it with you and I hope that you like it. Only the finest become lawyers. Ms. Claire set the difference with the lawyers we watched from dramas to the actual practice. She explained what they do mostly when trials are coming.
) I’m a lawyer. I’m the director of Kalco Law, LOC. Basically I do commercial law but also I have marriage education business called Lifebuilders.com.sg . Feel free to go to the website to have a look at it. So basically I have been doing marriage certification on the site more of a volunteer basis but only reason is when I have managed to get the master trainer license so I could then be able to train others who are interested in teaching the course which is actually form University of Denver. (03:20
) I thought I was gonna be one of those gang hole, mitigator or go out there, you know, confront the witnesses and say you’re lying or something like that. Well, of course, in actual practice is very different from what I imagine it to be. (03:36
) You do have your moments where you do cross examined the witnesses where you get them tongue tied and they are not able to answer the questions. If they say yes then damn then they say no they are also damned, you know you got them. (03:53
) Those kinds of moments I must say are not very often because I would say 90% of my cases don’t actually see the light of being caught. We prepare all the work until the day of trial and usually on the first day, more often there are things that are not settled so you would have prepared your 100 and 200 questions to cross examine and you never get to answer, ask any of these questions because you know, party settled and obviously as a lawyer , you would want to say cause and you want a more piece of possible outcome so a lot of times is not what you imagine it to be. The beginning is always the hardest. It was hard when Ms. Claire started. After she graduated, she chose to get married. Aside from reaching her goals, she has a family that needs to be attended. Good thing she has a very supportive husband who keeps on reminding her about her goals.
) I would say, now 17 years in practice, so it wasn’t a very easy start because when I got married, I married before I actually got my professional qualifications. (05:30
) Yes, it was awesome like a whirlwind romance. After I graduated from law school, I met the man of my life. I decided not to waste time, you know, let’s get married and have kids and so I did that before. Right after university degree and when I was about to launch my professional education that’s when I got married as well and then I also had a kid 1 year later so that’s how I started practice with 1 and a half year old daughter. (06:27
) I must say it was really very tough. The times that I thought I was losing my mind obviously, you know, and you wandered yourself whether it’s all worth it and it was really quite tough jangling, you know, all the different friends and this is why, in terms of husband and wife, communication is very important. My husband needed to understand when I was going to times of stress, when trial is coming up and a lot of times he had to take care of the babies, you know, while I’m working on my cases. (07:03
) My husband had to take my kids out while I am busy studying for my exams and so that was quite tough but I must say that having good communication in your spouse is very important and I think for me I’m really glad that I have a supportive husband who could see the bigger picture. In fact, many times I feel giving up I said I don’t think I don’t wanna practice anymore and he is always the one telling me, you should, you should. Make fool yourself with gifts that you have and I’m like, you know, you’re so cruel what kind of husband are you, Telling me to grow up there and suffer? Speak up for those who cannot speak up. Lawyers are professionals that stands as a representative of their clients to speak up following the legalities of the law. Now, more lawyers are getting interested with marriage and not speaking with divorce. Ms. Claire shared one of her experiences as she had her first client that were planning to get separated but was fixed and still happy together with their marriage.
) But I must say that indeed, legal practice has given me a lot of opportunities to meet a lot of people from all sorts of life so this is something I do appreciate. Now coming back to where we got involved with the marriage education is kind of strange because Oh, you're a lawyer. In fact, when my husband and I went to the States to get qualified, certified in the marriage preparation course, we were the only lawyers in the room out of 250 people there. They are all social workers or even pastors and ministers as well as psychiatrists. (08:52
) Everybody just gave us around of applause. Simply because you don’t hear of many lawyers actually really getting involved in the marriage work so I guess we see more and more lawyers who are interested. (09:45
) I would say that I had a moment of truth especially for the very first case I had. I actually saw the couple actually turning away from the decision to divorce. After going through like less than 3 months of the course that we have been doing and so that was really an eye opener because the couple are actually staying away more than a year. Can you imagine more than a year? Living two separate lives. In fact, when they came to see us, it was very awkward because they were like two completely strangers. (10:30
) They move back together and they rebuild their lives and that’s like 10 years ago and now they are still happily married and they have 2 kids so I’m really very happy so that was like the moment of truth when that happened. I told my husband and say Hey! Can you imagine we are doing this in our spare time. We should be doing more of this. Maybe this is really where our passion really lies and that’s where it started to grow. Being good is a powerful influence. Relax, slow down and enjoy life to the fullest. Smile to everyone as it spreads positive vibes and thoughts. Ms. Claire defined what is woman with influence. She said:
) Well, obviously for me, a woman of influence is somebody who can help people think positively. I think that is something which, to me, is when you give a bit of love even just a random act of kindness you are already a woman of influence. Even when you give up your seat on the train for somebody you are already a woman of influence. It doesn’t take much. Sometimes smiles are enough. (13:42
) I think one of the obstacles I faced obviously is that you need to be like a garang, you know. People come to me and say you don’t like a lawyer to me. You’re more like a friend or a counselor. And I thought to myself why this have to be different? It doesn’t have to be different. To me, being a lawyer is being able to speak up and protect your clients’ interests. And so you would have to do that part. (14:22
) Of course, no doubt, that the world is so stressful. I do believe that we can take a positive attitude. Learn to embrace the challenges and learn to enjoy the journey. Key Takeaways:
- Communication is very important in all relationships.
- Remain positive in a negative situation.
- You have to start to be great.
- Focus on your goal and not on the obstacles.
- We grow when we face challenges.
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