Cover art for podcast Fifty Shades of Gender

Fifty Shades of Gender

91 EpisodesProduced by Esther LemmensWebsite

We get curious about all things gender, sex and sexuality, as well as relationships, feminism (the inclusive kind), mental health and kink, and all that makes us humans unique and diverse. From body positivity to body dysmorphia, it’s all welcome here. Come with us on a journey of inclusion, accepta… read more

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91. HARRIS EDDIE HILL #2: agender, non-binary, trans (with a dash of 'boy')

March 2nd, 2023


Harris Eddie Hill is a podcaster, best-selling author and coach. Harris's pronouns are they/them or ey/em, and they are agender, non-binary, and trans (with a dash of 'boy'). Find out what that means to Harris in this …

90. Ninety Shades of Gender: taking a break

September 29th, 2022


Esther is taking a break from creating new episodes for now, and talks about she came to that decision. Thank you to all our patrons, to those who bought us a coffee, donated, listened, shared and helped. Until next …

89. CLEO MADELEINE: queer, trans, woman

September 15th, 2022


Cleo Madeleine is a researcher, activist, and poet. Cleo's pronouns are she/her, and she is queer, trans, and a woman. Find out what that means to …

88. LUX: queer, genderfluid, polygender, non-conforming man

September 1st, 2022


Lux is a psychotherapeutic counsellor and French expat, who has been in the UK for over ten years. Lux's pronouns are he/they, and he is a queer, …

87. BRIANNE LEESON: autigender, bisexual, polyamorous, demi-romantic

August 18th, 2022


Brianne Leeson is a writer, artist, and voice actor, and the creator of the supernatural comedy audio drama, Today’s Lucky Winner. Brianne's pronouns …

86. IZZY KERSHAW: transgender woman, bisexual, ADHD

August 4th, 2022


Izzy Kershaw is a singer/songwriter and music producer. Izzy's pronouns are she/her, and she is a transgender woman. She's also bisexual and has ADHD. Find out what that means to Izzy in this episode. We also talk about …

85. VICTOR MARTINEZ: transgender, non-binary, pansexual, neurodiverse, ADHD

July 21st, 2022


Victor's pronouns are they/them, and they are transgender and non-binary, as well as pansexual, neurodiverse, and ADHD. Find out what that means to Victor in this episode. We also talk about being out as a trans person …

84. KAI GREY: trans-masculine, transgender, queer (non-binary)

July 7th, 2022


Kai is a Garden Designer and consultant, and CEO at Polaris Garden & Landscape Architects. Kai's pronouns are he/him, and he is trans-masculine, …

83. LOLA PHOENIX: agender, non-binary, queer

June 23rd, 2022


Lola Phoenix is a writer, podcaster, and author of the recently published book The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy. Lola's pronouns are

82. ANGELA LOCASHIO: autistic, queer, genderqueer woman

June 9th, 2022


Angela Locashio (aka Mama Pistachio) is a trauma-informed educator and coach, and sexologist. Angela's pronouns are she/her, and she says she's …

81. FLEASSY MALAY: queer, gender-diverse, neurodiverse, genderfluid woman

May 26th, 2022


Fleassy Malay is a poet, spoken word artist, performer, and writer. Fleassy uses they/them and she/her pronouns, and they are a queer, gender-diverse, neurodiverse genderfluid woman. Find out what that means to Fleassy …

80. ANNE HODDER-SHIPP: queer femme, neurodivergent, ADHD (agender, non-binary, demigirl)

May 12th, 2022


Anne Hodder-Shipp is a sex and relationship educator dedicated to providing accurate, empowered, compassionate, and expansive sex education. Anne's pronouns are she/they, and she is a queer femme. They're also …

79. CHRISTINE TOKLEY: trans woman, non-conforming, disabled, neurodivergent

April 28th, 2022


Christine's pronouns are she/her, and she's ok with they/them pronouns. She identifies as a trans woman and is also non-conforming, disabled and neurodivergent. Find out what that means to Christine in this episode. We …

78. CLAIRE PROSHO: transgender woman, bisexual, ADHD

April 14th, 2022


Claire's pronouns are she/her, and she is a transgender woman. Find out what that means to Claire in this episode. We also talk about the lack of …

77. JENN: genderfree, autistic, fat

March 31st, 2022


Jenn sets up websites and tech systems for micro businesses. Jenn doesn't have much of an attachment to pronouns and says they or she are fine. They are genderfree, and she also gave us the labels autistic and fat. Find …

76. SKIN: queer

March 17th, 2022


Skin is the singer of the rock band Skunk Anansie, a radio show and podcast host, and author. Skin's pronouns are she/her, and she is a queer person. Find out what that means to Skin in this episode. We also talk about …

75. Reflections (part 3): discoveries so far

March 3rd, 2022


In this third Reflections episode, Katy interviews Esther as she reflects on further conversations she’s had with gender-diverse folks, what she’s …

74. A Clear Perspective on gender: a channeled message from Oron and Medha

February 17th, 2022


This is an episode with a spiritual twist. I have a conversation with Oron, through Medha. Medha is an intuitive energy healer and channeler – to be exact, a direct voice channel – and she has a podcast called A Clear …

73. PAIGE LOEWEN: partner of a transgender woman

February 3rd, 2022


Paige is married to a transgender woman, Esther (or Elle), who came out to her in October 2020. They've been married for 16 years and have two children. Find out more about Paige's experience in this episode. We also …

72. TALEA BOELSEMS: agender, metagender

January 20th, 2022


Talea uses any pronouns, and they are agender and metagender. Find out what that means to Talea in this episode. We get philosophical and dig deeper into gender identity, and we talk about the challenges with finding …

71. RENÉE YOXON: trans, non-binary, genderqueer, maverique

January 6th, 2022


Renée Yoxon is a singer, songwriter, and gender-affirming voice teacher. Renée's pronouns are they/them, and they are non-binary trans. They also identify as maverique and back in the day, genderqueer. Find out what …

70. REV ROWAN BOMBADIL: genderqueer shapeshifter & sex witch

December 23rd, 2021


Rowan Bombadil is a psychosexual coach and interfaith minister, dedicated to bridging the binaries between sex and spirit. Rowan's pronouns are they/them/their, and they are a genderqueer shapeshifter and sex witch. …

69. ZELDA: intersex, trans-adjacent, disabled

December 9th, 2021


Zelda is a performer and magician. Zelda is happy for people to use the pronouns they feel are appropriate. She is intersex and disabled, and refers to herself as trans-adjacent. Find out what that means to Zelda in …

68. ESTHER LOEWEN: transgender woman

November 25th, 2021


Esther Loewen uses she/her pronouns, and she is a transgender woman. She also identifies as a parent, spouse, pastor, professional includer, and queer. Find out what that means to Esther in this episode. We also talk …

67. LEONIE DAWSON: non-binary

November 11th, 2021


Leonie Dawson is a proudly neurodivergent multi-passionate entrepreneur, author, podcaster, prolific course creator and massive swear bear. Leonie's …

66. ANNA SANSOM: genderqueer, gender-responsive, woman, queer dyke

October 28th, 2021


In this episode, I have a conversation with Anna Sansom, a writer, author of erotic fiction and also author of the book Desire Lines, which is a combination of memoir, erotica, and an invitation to reflective …

65. Listener Questions (1): terminology explained

October 14th, 2021


This episode is a slightly different one again; the first of a Listener Questions series. I'm answering a question (or rather, responding to a …

64. BRIAN BELOVITCH: cis-gay male of trans experience

September 30th, 2021


Brian Belovitch is an author, actor and activist. Brian's pronouns are he/him/his, and he identifies as a cis-gay male of trans experience. Find out what that means to Brian in this episode. We also talk about being …

63. JEN HARTMANN: non-binary, bigender

September 23rd, 2021


Jen Hartmann is a fashion designer and founder of the trans-positive label Baal Fashion. Jen is pretty much ok with all the traditional pronouns, but prefers he/him. He is non-binary and also identifies as bigender. …

62. JACOB PROFITT: non-binary, gay, drag queen

September 16th, 2021


Jacob Profitt is a geography teacher. Jacob's pronouns are they/them, and they identify as a gay non-binary person. Find out what that means to Jacob in this episode. We also talk about the freedom that comes with going …

61. DOROTHY 'THYO' PIERRE-LOUIS: non-binary, trans-masculine, bigender, toric, graysexual

September 9th, 2021


Dorothy Pierre-Louis uses he/him/his pronouns, and his nickname is Thyo (pronounced like Theo). He is non-binary and also uses the labels bigender …

60. EMME PORTER DeWITT: agender [transgender, nonbinary], queer [demisexual+]

September 2nd, 2021


Emme Porter DeWitt is an author, advocate, and authenticity coach. Emme's pronouns are they/them/theirs. They are agender and also identify as transgender, non-binary, queer and demisexual. Find out what that means to …

59. VICTOR MARTINEZ: non-binary, transgender, pansexual, panromantic

August 26th, 2021


Victor's pronouns are they/them, and they are non-binary and transgender, as well as pansexual and panromantic. Find out what that means to Victor in this episode. We also talk about identifying vs being, the freedom in …

58. GREYSON: trans man, xenogender (wolfgender), furry

August 19th, 2021


Greyson, a furry and budding artist, is a trans man, but identifies with wolfgender, which is a xenogender. Greyson uses he/him/himself as well as

57. JIN WICKED: agender, non-binary, autistic

August 12th, 2021


Jin Wicked is an artist, illustrator, and writer, on the autism spectrum. Jin's pronouns are they/them, and they are agender and non-binary. Find out what that means to Jin in this episode. We also talk about pushing …

56. JUNO ROCHE: trans & queer

August 5th, 2021


Juno Roche is a writer, campaigner and author of the books Queer Sex, Trans Power and Gender Explorers. Juno's pronouns are they/them, and they are trans and queer. Find out what that means to Juno in this episode. We …

55. BEVERLY LITTLE THUNDER: Two-Spirit Lakota woman

July 29th, 2021


Beverly Little Thunder is an activist, community leader and teacher, and founder of a non profit organisation that provides a safe space for ceremony for Indigenous LBGTQIA people. Beverly uses she/her pronouns, and she …

54. LYNN KEISER: transgender woman

July 22nd, 2021


Lynn Keiser is a professional in technology and mentor to younger transgender people. Lynn's pronouns are she/her, and she identifies as a …

53. LOR: intersex, non-binary, demiboy, bigender

July 15th, 2021


Lor is an entrepreneur, author and teacher and uses he/she pronouns. He is non-binary, and intersex – assigned female at birth but genetically male – and she is figuring things out when it comes to gender identities, …

52. DEAN RASMUSSEN: transgender, trans man, trans-masculine, genderqueer, non-binary, pansexual

July 8th, 2021


Dean is a Life Coach who is passionate about empowering the LGBTQ2S community. Dean uses he/they pronouns. He is a trans man, but they also resonate …

51. J LAURENCE SARNO: trans man

July 1st, 2021


Laurence Sarno is a former entertainer and journalist who now runs a marketing communications consultancy. Laurence's pronouns are he/him. He …

50. Reflections (part 2): discoveries so far

June 24th, 2021


In this second Reflections episode, Katy interviews Esther as she reflects on further conversations she’s had with gender-diverse folks, what she’s …

49. Being LGBTQIA+ in Higher Education (HE)

June 17th, 2021


This episode was created in collaboration with NEACO (Network for East Anglian Collaborative Outreach) and the University of East Anglia for Pride …

48. CARA WILDE: parent of a transgender teen

June 10th, 2021


Cara Wilde is a neurodiverse channel, mystic and Empath. She has two children, one of whom is transgender. Find out more about Cara's journey in this episode. We also talk about questioning your gender and looking …

47. HELEN BELCHER: woman with a trans history

June 3rd, 2021


Helen Belcher is an activist working to promote trans inclusion for more than a decade. Helen's pronouns are she/her, and she is a woman with a trans history. Find out what that means to Helen in this episode. Find out …

46. CHARLIZE JAMIESON: transgender woman

May 27th, 2021


Charlize's pronouns are she/her, and she is a transgender woman. Find out what that means to Charlize in this episode. We also talk about the importance of community and local connections, owning who you are, society's …

45. ...: trans-androgynous, genderqueer, non-binary, abinary, maverique, bi/pan oriented aroace, multiply disabled

May 20th, 2021


We were asked to take this episode down. Although this story is unique and there is of course no replacement, you can listen to other episodes from genderqueer, non-binary, maverique, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, …

44. TARA DAX: non-binary

May 13th, 2021


Tara Dax is a biologist, streamer, cosplayer and Trekkie. Tara's pronouns are they/them and they identify as non-binary. Find out what that means to …

43. SALLY GOLDNER: bi/pan trans introvert HSP woman

May 6th, 2021


Sally Goldner AM is an educator, speaker, leadership consultant and life coach. Sally's pronouns are she/her, and she identifies as a bi/pan …

42. EVEY WINTERS: transgender, transsexual woman

April 29th, 2021


Evey Winters is a transgender advocate, educator, and hot sauce addict. Evey's pronouns are she/her. She uses the labels transgender and transsexual woman, and also educates about both of these labels. Find out what …

41. HARRIS EDDIE HILL: trans non-binary, agender, trans-masculine

April 22nd, 2021


Harris is a coach and LGBTQ+ advocate on a mission to educate the general population about gender identity. They're also the host of The Transection …

40. BELLA CASCARINI: trans woman

April 15th, 2021


Bella's pronouns are she/her, and she is a trans woman – with more emphasis on the woman part than the trans part. Find out what that means to Bella in this episode. We also talk about what affects how we're perceived, …

39. GENEVIEVE: trans non-binary, genderqueer

April 8th, 2021


Genevieve is a sex and relationship therapist (in training). Genevieve's pronouns are they/them. They say the easiest terms are non-binary and queer, and they definitely identify as trans as well. Find out what that …

38. DEVI IRONY: non-binary, dominant

April 1st, 2021


Devi Irony is a dominant and sex worker, as well as an activist and educator in the kink and BDSM scene. Devi's pronouns are they/them, and they are a non-binary person. Find out what that means to Devi in this episode. …

37. CHARLIE ORRISS: transgender FTM

March 25th, 2021


Charlie Orriss says he would love to be a mental health ambassador one day. Charlie's pronouns are he/him, and he identifies as an FTM (Female To …

36. YAS NECATI: non-binary

March 18th, 2021


Yas is a journalist and writer based in London. Yas's pronouns are they/them, and they identify as non-binary. Find out what that means to Yas in this episode. We also talk about detaching activities from gender, …

35. JARETH NEBULA: transgender, agenderflux, demiboy, alien

March 11th, 2021


Jareth is a multifaceted transgender creature who dabbles in multiple types of artistic expression and crafting, and is also a professional model. …

34. CASSIAN LODGE: non-binary, agender

March 4th, 2021


Cassian's pronouns are they/them and they identify as non-binary and agender. Find out what that means to Cassian in this episode. Cassian started the Gender Census in 2011 and they talk about their main learnings and …

33. RACHEL LANGE: non-binary, queer, autistic

February 25th, 2021


Rachel Lange is a parent, freelance writer and artist, as well as editor of QueerPGH, a community-led publication out of Pittsburgh. Rachel loves to hear they/them pronouns, but is not offended by she or he if they are …

32. CAMERON: female but trans, trans-feminine

February 18th, 2021


Cameron is a Doctor of Computer Science and University Lecturer. Cameron's pronouns are she/her, and she is a newly discovered woman. She refers to herself as female but trans. Find out what that means to Cameron in …

31. CN LESTER: trans

February 11th, 2021


CN Lester is a musician, writer, researcher, queer/trans/feminist activist, and author of the book Trans Like Me. CN's pronouns are they/them, and they are a trans person. Find out what that means to CN in this episode. …

30. CASSIE BRIGHTER: Latina woman of trans experience

February 4th, 2021


Cassie is a writer and public speaker focusing on intersectionality and social justice. She's the founder of Empowered Trans Woman and Smart Sluts, a sex-positive community of women. Cassie's pronouns are she/her, and …

29. JOE: femme boy, non-binary, trans

January 28th, 2021


Joe is an educator and trainer on improving inclusivity in workplaces and schools at the Norfolk LGBT+ Project, and he's also an artist running a …

28. RACHEL LAWSON: no gender labels, thank you very much

January 21st, 2021


Rachel is a keen traveller and regular speaker at tech events, usually on the subject of community building. Rachel's pronouns are she/her, and she's …

27. RAY: binary transgender man, FTM, gay

January 14th, 2021


Ray's pronouns are he/him, and he identifies as a binary transgender man, who also happens to be gay. Find out what that means to Ray in this episode. We also talk about how feminism includes everyone, why some men need …

26. ANGUS BROWN (ANNIE): transgender woman, butch lesbian

January 7th, 2021


Angus Brown (or Annie to her close friends) is a musician and performance poet whose writing is heavily influenced by themes of gender, sexuality and mental health. Angus's pronouns are she/her and she identifies as as …

25. Reflections (part 1): discoveries so far

December 31st, 2020


This is another episode that’s different from the usual format. We are reversing roles, so Katy is interviewing Esther as she reflects on …

24. ALF RAVN: agender, transgender, non-binary

December 24th, 2020


Alf is a Danish tiny-house-living minimalist training to become a circus artist. Alf's pronouns are they/them. They are transgender and identifiy as agender and non-binary. Find out what that means to Alf in this …

23. ROBIN RICE: parent of a transgender adult

December 17th, 2020


Robin Rice is an internationally published author, social change artist and mentor to leaders. Robin uses she/her pronouns and considers herself a cisgender woman. She is the mother of two sons, one of whom is …

22. HANNAH WATSON: transgender

December 10th, 2020


Hannah's pronouns are she/her, and she doesn’t mind they/them. She is transgender, and although not fond of labels, the terms non-binary and asexual semi-resonate with her as well. Find out what that means to Hannah in …

21. FELIX: non-binary, transgender, queer

December 3rd, 2020


Felix is a figure skater and university student, who plans to go into teaching. Felix's pronouns are they/them. They are non-binary transgender and …

20. ELA XORA: transgender woman, anti Intersex Genital Mutilation activist

November 26th, 2020


Ela is an artist from London, who epicentres her work on classics, binarism and horses. Ela's pronouns are she/her or they/them. She identifies as a transgender woman and is an anti Intersex Genital Mutilation activist. …

19. How to be a better gender-diverse ally

November 19th, 2020


This is a slightly different episode than usual. It’s Transgender Awareness Week this week, and Esther has a conversation with two cisgender LGBTIQA+ people; Tiga-Rose, an intimacy coach and sex therapist in training, …

18. SOPHIE JAMES: transsexual, transvestite

November 5th, 2020


Sophie is a forty-something married parent of three kids and somewhere on the trans spectrum. Sophie's pronouns are she/her. She uses the words transsexual and transvestite of herself, but considers herself to be a work …

17. SAM BETTENS: transgender man

October 29th, 2020


Sam Bettens is a musician and lead vocalist of the Belgian band K's Choice (founded in 1992) and also of new Belgian electropop band Rex Rebel. Sam's pronouns are he/him, and he identifies as a transgender man. Find out …

16. KATY JON WENT: transgender, non-binary, asexual

October 22nd, 2020


Katy Jon Went is a public speaker and educator on gender, identity, sexuality, mental health, human rights, diversity and inclusion. Katy's pronouns are they/them or she/her. They are transgender and identify as …

15. KYL MYERS: genderqueer woman, gender-creative parent

October 15th, 2020


Kyl Myers is a sociologist, educator, and globally recognized advocate of gender creative parenting. Kyl's pronouns are they/them or she/her. They …

14. ALLAN D. HUNTER: genderqueer, gender invert

October 8th, 2020


Allan came out in 1980 as an identity he distilled on his own, as nothing of the sort was being discussed anywhere that he could find. As …

13. THEO WILL (TW) McKENNA: genderfluid, non-binary, asexual, grayromantic lesbian

October 1st, 2020


Theo is an aspiring queer writer and lover of memes and video games. Theo's pronouns are they/them (or fae/faer online) and they identify as genderfluid, non-binary, asexual, and a grayromantic lesbian. Find out what …

12. KIT RACKLEY #2: non-binary, trans-feminine, demigirl, genderfluid

September 24th, 2020


Kit is an ex-high school teacher and a passionate educator, blogger, author and performer – focusing on environmental and LGBT+ issues. Kit’s …

11. CHARLIE CAINE: gay trans man

September 17th, 2020


Charlie Caine is a theatre composer, lyricist and LGBT+ and political activist. Charlie's pronouns are he/him and he identifies as a gay trans man. …

10. BONNIE BAKENEKO: trans-masculine, non-binary, graysexual

September 10th, 2020


Bonnie is a multimedia artist working with themes of gender, body horror, psychosexuality and trauma. Bonnie's pronouns are he/him or they/them and …

9. ALYS WILFRED EARL #2: trans-masculine, non-binary, genderfluid

September 3rd, 2020


Alys Wilfred (or Fred, for short) is a writer, storyteller and folklorist. This is our second conversation, just over 20 months after our first …

8. MEL: non-binary, asexual, aromantic

August 27th, 2020


For personal reasons, Mel asked us to take her episode down until further notice. We have honoured her request, and may do a follow-up episode some …

7. ANGE DE LUMIERE: parent of a transgender child

August 20th, 2020


Ange de Lumiere is a Spiritual Lawyer and Intuitive Business Strategist. Ange moved to the UK from Paris in 2001. She has four children, one of which …

6. SOPHIA WISE ONE: gender-transcendent

August 13th, 2020


Sophia is a speaker, singer, mentor, transformational storyteller, visionary, and prayer of prayers. She is also the host of several podcasts, including “Vagina Talks with Sophia Wise One”, “Medicine Caller”, and …

5. SARAH CORKE: intersex, non-binary

August 6th, 2020


Sarah's pronouns are she/her or they/them. She found out she was intersex at 19 and subsequently got involved with local charity Evolve, which …

4. EDALIA DAY: transgender, non-binary

July 30th, 2020


Edalia Day is a spoken word artist, video designer and theatre maker. Edalia's pronouns are they/them. They are transgender and identifiy as non-binary. Find out what that means to Edalia in this episode. We also talk …

3. HARRI ELOUISE NELLAR: trans-feminine, non-binary

July 23rd, 2020


Harri Elouise was a couple of years into their gender journey when we recorded this conversation in January 2019. Harri’s pronouns are they/them, and they identify as trans-feminine and non-binary. Find out what that …

2. ALYS WILFRED EARL: trans-masculine, non-binary, genderfluid

July 16th, 2020


Alys Wilfred (or Fred, for short) is a writer, storyteller and folklorist who specialises in orality, and medieval and early modern textual cultures. …

1. KIT RACKLEY: genderfluid, trans-feminine, non-binary, demigirl

June 29th, 2020


Kit Rackley is an ex-Geography high school teacher, now working as an education and program officer for a non-profit that promotes and facilitates …

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