Cover art for podcast Essential Stepmom Podcast

Essential Stepmom Podcast

103 EpisodesProduced by Essential StepmomWebsite

Your trusted source for unconventional advice and inspiration about the Womanly Art of Raising Someone Else's Kids.

103 Episodes | 2019 - 2021

ESP 103 Nacho Role-play with Lori Sims (part 3)

September 13th, 2021


Lori Sims runs the Nacho Kids Academy - sign up with this link and she'll send a portion of your fee right back here to support this podcast!
Click here:

Sign up at

ESP 102: Nacho Role-play with Lori Sims (Part 2)

September 12th, 2021


"I thought David was a pretty good parent - until we got married!"

Here's a link to the episode with Lori's husband David:

ESP 101: "Nacho" role-play with Lori Sims (part one)

September 11th, 2021


It's a Nacho Role-play with Lori Sims, the original Nacho Mama! You can learn more at

Sign up for the Ultimate Stepfamily Summit (Sept …

ESP 11.3 EPISODE 100! Part 3 of my chat with Seth Nelson about what really matters.

September 10th, 2021


Here are some highlights of today's conversation with Seth Nelson:

1:10 - when Seth got divorced, the law required one parent was named the primary residential, the other was secondary. In the end, it’s all about your …

ESP 11.2 Attorney Seth Nelson: Should you settle for 60/40?

September 9th, 2021


This is part 2 of my 3-part conversation with Florida-based family law attorney Seth Nelson. Listen at 2:20 to hear Seth describe the  the 3 worlds in which he lives as a divorce attorney, at 5:25 to learn about the …

ESP 11.1 Divorce Attorney Seth Nelson

September 8th, 2021


"Live your life, not your divorce!"

Seth's podcast is called "How To Split A Toaster: A divorce podcast about saving your relationships". Here's a link to the show on Apple podcasts:

ESP 10.6 Anna De Acosta in conversation

September 1st, 2021


Visit Anna's website at

The Ultimate Stepfamily Summit is happening from September 15-17. It's FREE! Sign up now at to get my special bonus offer of lifetime access to my …

ESP 10.5 The Loyalty Bind, and what to do about it.

August 24th, 2021


Loyalty is one of the most misunderstood topics in the stepfamily world. I believe it's something much more fundamental than wondering which parent …

ESP 10.4 What your therapist doesn't 'get' about your family.

August 4th, 2021


Does my advice on stepfamily life conflict with what you're hearing from your counsellor or therapist? I'm not surprised, LOL! That's because they're not trained in the area of step-families and they still believe that …

ESP 10.3 Boundaries: The Bricks and Mortar Edition.

July 20th, 2021


Want to know more about exactly how to make those boundaries you wish you had? Here are my top 5 tools for making better boundaries with your ex, …

ESP 10.2 Why don't you have better boundaries?

July 14th, 2021


Everything comes down to boundaries. I'll break this apart and show you why yours aren't doing the job. 

Do you know a divorced dad who wants to protect his relationship with his kids and maximize his ability to raise …

ESP 10.1 Raising a step child on the Autism Spectrum with Dr. Sonia Cann-Milland

June 29th, 2021


You can contact Dr. Sonia via her webiste,

Her research paper about autism and stepfamilies can be accessed via Google …

ESP 9.9 Peter Maestrey exposes the unspoken rule

June 22nd, 2021


This is part two of my conversation with filmmaker Peter Maestrey about his journey through and past divorce. He shares how he dealt with other people telling him how to feel about his divorce and how he got on with …

ESP 9.8 Peter Maestrey on Divorce - The First Six Months

June 15th, 2021


Peter Maestrey is an award-winning filmmaker and producer. He's also the host of a podcast called Divorce - The First Six Months. You can find him at

The Visible Man Discord is open to men and …

ESP 9.7 Reconciled - the book tour!

June 1st, 2021


Bobbi Brooks Wilcox is the Founder of Blended Families United, a published author, is

registered as an Unlicensed Psychotherapist in the state of …

ESP 9.6 Greg Menendez on how the mind works

May 18th, 2021


Greg Menendez teaches people how the mind works - and then, they never look back! Greg can be found at

I have a Facebook …

ESP 9.5 Jeff Hoffman and Jack Rollins: Visible Man, the Discord Server

May 11th, 2021


"People sign up - we don't know who they are unless they tell us."

Jeff Hoffman and Jack Rollins invite you to join their anonymous "Visible Man" …

ESP 9.4 "High Conflict" by Amanda Ripley

May 4th, 2021


You can buy High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out from Barnes and Noble with this link:

ESP 9.3 The Archives of Essential Stepmom Podcast

April 28th, 2021


Sorry for my podcast fail this week, but join me reading Amanda Ripley's High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out. Here's a link to order from Barnes and Noble:

ESP 9.2 Q: "How do I merge the best parts of myself with my stepmom role?"

April 20th, 2021


This is an audio recording of a livestream on this topic from my Spectacular Stepmom facebook group. Not a member? Send a join request to THE …

ESP 9.1 Change your expectations - into agreements!

April 14th, 2021


This episode is chock full of quotes from author Steve Chandler's audio lecture Expectations vs. Agreements. You can hear it for yourself here:

ESP 8.7 When the ex won't play by the rules - with Jen Szeghi

April 6th, 2021


Jen Szeghi is a trained psychologist, mediator and parent coordinator, and brings all that expertise to her parent coaching practice. You can connect …

ESP 8.6 Judith Yeabsley on kids who say NO!

March 30th, 2021


Find more of Judith Yeabsley at and on Facebook at The Confident Eater

You can reach me at or on Facebook at Essentialstepmom/UndeletableDad

I'd love to help you chisel up …

ESP 8.5 Jonnie Jensen: dad, stepdad, superdad

March 23rd, 2021


Please go check out Team Super Dad and get more Jonnie Jensen. I feel very much aligned with his mission and how he goes about empowering dads to make all the impact they want to have on their kids while having a great …

ESP 8.4 How to find the sweet spot of stepparenting!

March 16th, 2021


The show I watched and adored is called Undone. You can find it on Amazon Prime.

I'd love to hear from you! Email me at

I'll be live on my public Facebook page, @essentialstepmom from March …

ESP 8.3 Carly Israel says "Thanks, but no thanks!"

March 9th, 2021


You can find Carly at and her podcast is called In Your Corner Divorce.

Her book, Seconds and Inches is available at Barnes and Noble, Amazon and

Find more information about the Nacho Kids …

ESP 8.2 Nurture Burnout with Anne Cullen

March 2nd, 2021


Nurture burnout can happen to anyone who cares a lot about the people they live with, or work with, or share the planet with. It's especially common in stepmoms, so if you ever feeling like you're teetering on the edge …

ESP 8.1 The teenage stepdaughter with Mary T. Kelly

February 23rd, 2021


Mary Kelly is probably the most experienced therapist in America for stepfamilies and their kids with over 18 years of experience dealing with this …

ESP 7.8 How to Raise a Boy - with author Michael C. Reichert

February 16th, 2021


There's a lot of talk about helping girls to take their power and shed limiting stereotypes, but our boys suffer from limits too. How can we stop our …

ESP 7.7 The Addicted Child - with author Richard Capriola

February 9th, 2021


Richard Capriola has been a mental health and addictions counselor for over two decades. He's been licensed in Illinois and Texas and recently …

ESP 7.6 Rich Bolus part 2 "Am I robbing them of these experiences?"

February 2nd, 2021


Send your partner over to listen to some episodes of The Dad Mindset Podcast with Rich Bolus at 

Book a call and let's talk about …

ESP 7.5 The Dad Mindset with Rich Bolus (part 1)

January 26th, 2021


Rich Bolus hosts The Dad Mindset podcast which you can find at

You can download my free Restorative Parenting Quickstart …

ESP 7.4 Best-of-Essential-Stepmom, Red Flags with Lori Sims

January 19th, 2021


Lori Sims is the creator of the ingenious Nacho Kids method and the Nacho Kids Academy which is saving blended families and second marriages every single day.

Check out the Nacho Kids Academy with this link and she'll …

ESP 7.3 For the weary dad who feels like giving up.

January 14th, 2021


Alienated kids can be awful to their divorced parent. Does your partner ever just feeling like giving up? It's pretty normal to run out of steam and …

ESP 7.2 A bit of "woo" - from me to you.

December 22nd, 2020


Here's a little spirituality for the season - non denominational of course. I hope you enjoy the ESR Technique to help you chill out and turn down …

ESP 7.1 Not Just A Stepmom with Heidi Farrell

December 15th, 2020


Heidi's blog can be found at

Grab my free Restorative Parenting QuickStart Guide at

Would you (or your partner) …

ESP 6.8 F_Divorce: Jack Rollins

December 8th, 2020


Jack is not a dad but he's divorced and he has some valuable insights into one husband's emotional experience after a failed marriage. You can find him on instagram at @f_divorce, on Facebook at

ESP 6.7 The completely amazing, totally absent bio mom.

December 1st, 2020


Are you sick and tired of hearing about your stepchild's fantastic mom, when you're the one showing up for the child in all the way's she's not?

Let's talk this through, and we'll talk about life coaching too - maybe …

ESP 6.6 Trystan Reese Part 2

November 17th, 2020


Pre-order Trystan's book "How We Do Family" from Amazon, or support one of the last standing independent booksellers, Powells of Portland Oregon:

Trystan is on …

ESP 6.5 Trystan Reese shines a bright light on your secret fears (part 1 of 2)

November 10th, 2020


"If I can't be like those perfect multi-household-happy-families who all get along and do Thanksgiving together, am I broken?" 

I don't know about …

ESP 6.4 Man the F_%@ Up! with Deuce Almightee

November 3rd, 2020


You can follow Deuce on Facebook at Deuce Almightee, and on Instagram @EHYODEUCE

His webinar is taking place on Thursday November 5th - you can sign …

ESP 6.3 David Sims - Pulling it out of the fire

October 27th, 2020


"My expectations set her up for failure". That's what David Sims has to say about his experience of blended family life before he and his wife Lori figured out how to step back from the edge of divorce and put their …

ESP 6.2 The Divorced Dad Diaries with Stephane Jutras

October 20th, 2020


You can find Stephane's podcast on every platform, and by visiting his website,

You can find my blog and other resources at

If it's time for you to get another level of …

ESP 6.1 Visible Man with Jeffrey Hoffman

October 13th, 2020


Jeffrey Hoffman can be found at

I can be found at

I'm gearing up for a free Facebook Live 5-day challenge where I'll walk you through how to create immunity from interference in your …

ESP 5.7 Are you panicking about college fees yet? Part 2 with Denise Thomas

October 6th, 2020


You heard it right - college scholarships are available even for kids in kindergarten! You don't have to go nuts with it, but it's truly never too …

ESP 5.6 Are you and your partner stressing (or fighting) over college fees yet? It's coming!

September 29th, 2020


My guest Denise Thomas dug herself and her family out of bankruptcy and researched her butt off to get $199,000 in college scholarships for her two …

ESP 5.5 Kate Anthony talks First-Wife-Forever Syndrome!

September 22nd, 2020


Do you know anybody's first wife who seems to cling energetically to him years, even after she gets a new partner? Turns out this is not such a rare …

ESP 5.4 The hidden cost of Parental Alienation

September 16th, 2020


Never mind the emotional toll, there are dollars to consider too! Therapy, counsellors, private schools, college, mediation or lawyers - it seems …

ESP 5.3 High Conflict: The Drama Behind Parental Alienation

September 8th, 2020


Can you get off the hamster-wheel of drama? How can you fight for your kids without just buying into more drama?

Reach out any time to me at my personal email:

Sign up for the FREE Stepfamily …

ESP 5.2 It's the stepmoms who find the answers

September 1st, 2020


Stepmoms are the first point of contact with people who help parents heal the relationship with their kids after divorce or due to parental …

ESP 5.1 Dorcy Pruter on healing the damage from Parental Alienation

August 25th, 2020


Dorcy Pruter is the founder and CEO of the Conscious Coparenting Institute. She runs a 4 day intensive workshop called High Road to Reunification that boast a stunning 100% success rate! Learn more about her work at:

ESP 4.6 Bobbi Brooks Wilcox on Reconciling and More

August 18th, 2020


Blended Families United is Bobbi's website and organization. Her work centres around helping couples who are planning or just starting their stepfamily journey. Her book Reconciled is available from Amazon.

Yes, I offer …

ESP 4.5 Bobbi Brooks Wilcox wrote the book on getting it wrong and turning it around.

August 11th, 2020


You can find Bobbi’s website at and her book "Reconciled" is available from Amazon.
Try the Nacho Kids Academy at no risk for a month and support this podcast at the same time by using this link:

ESP 4.4 How do you bond with a kid that wants nothing to do with you?

July 28th, 2020


It's actually pretty simple: you bond around the fact that they don't want to connect with you! I'll explain how it looked in my family and how it worked out for us. Spoiler alert: Happy Ending!

Check out the Nacho Kids …

ESP 4.3 Go Blend Yourself: Busting More Stepfamily Myths

July 21st, 2020


This is my new go-to comeback for anyone who wants to give me unsolicited advice about my stepfamily dynamics. They can try whatever they like on …

4.2 Busting Blended Family Myth #2

July 7th, 2020


Myth #2 is that Blended Families are forever families. Truth is, they unblend just the same as other stepfamilies do. What can we do to make our …

4.1 The Myth of the Blended Family

June 30th, 2020


I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that stepfamilies aren't required to blend. They have a much more noble mission in my opinion, which is to …

3.10 The Evil Stepmom Archetype: #notme

June 23rd, 2020


Do you feel like you're walking around wearing a heavy backpack that you can't take off? I don't know about you but I hate it that the idea of a stepmother is automatically linked to an image of someone not so nice. …

3.9 3 easy steps to conquering Guilty Parent Syndrome

June 16th, 2020


Is your partner struggling with guilty parent syndrome? Here’s help in 3 easy steps.

Grab my free cheat sheet: 100% Dad In Half The Time

Interested in hanging out on social with some other dads in the blended family …

3.8 Why feeling bad might be the best thing that ever happened to you [and to your stepkids].

June 3rd, 2020


Join my email community by sending an email to with the subject line EMAIL!

Here's where you can find the podcast episode …

ESP 3.7 Jessica Kuiken has help for your transition-day troubles.

May 26th, 2020


Jessica Kuiken is a nutritionist, NLP practitioner and a Diamond Leader with DoTerra, my personal favourite supplier of essential oils. You can find …

ESP 3.6: Un-Brainwashing Your Alienated Child

May 19th, 2020


This is a quick primer on a complex topic. I'm thinking about doing a full webinar about healing a brainwashed child - if you're interested in …

ESP 3.5: Your Mother's Day Readiness Checklist

May 5th, 2020


Brace for it - the whole world is getting ready to poke you in a very sensitive spot. Here's how to prepare. Don't forget, Stepmom Day is the …

ESP 3.4: True Confessions: I've lost it on someone else's kids - more than once.

April 29th, 2020


What can I say? This is embarrassing but it's good for me to talk about it, and it's good for you to hear it because maybe by laughing *at* me (even if I feel like you're laughing *with* me), you can avoid repeating my …

ESP 3.3 Five Fast Ways To Shake Off Negative Emotions

April 15th, 2020


Listen to Jack Kornfield's beautiful guided meditation on Broken Record Podcast. There is lots of support available also on his website …

ESP 3.2 Join me for a little "self-care"!

April 7th, 2020


Come with me for a little walk. We'll talk about getting what you need during these extra difficult days.

Visit my website at

ESP 3.1 Mothers In A Dangerous Time

April 1st, 2020


Season 3: The Season of Coronavirus! You thought being a stepmom was the hardest thing you'd ever done? LOL - welcome to the new hardest thing ever! I'll share some advice about getting through this pandemic with your …

ESP 2.21: Five Kinds of Stepmom Who DON'T Need to "NACHO"!

March 24th, 2020


Lori Wilkins Sims is my guest today. She's the originator of the Nacho Kids method. I challenged her to come up with some situations where it's not necessary to disengage from some aspects of raising your stepkids, and …

ESP 2.20 More with Tamasin Thomas on stopping those Matrimonial Money Fights!

March 17th, 2020


Part 2 of a 3-part series with Tamasin Thomas, therapist and financial expert. 

Grab her free e-book, 3 Steps to Resolving Financial Conflict from …

The cure for picky eating [and BONUS: The cure for ANGST over picky eating!].

March 3rd, 2020


CLICK BELOW to join my 4 day livestream video challenge from Monday March 9 to Thursday March 12, 2020. You can watch live, on replay or listen in audio only mode and download the tips and recipes too!

Confessions of a people-pleasing stepmom [and the 3 stages of a recovery-in-progress]

February 25th, 2020


What can I say? It's true, I'm a work in progress.

Brene Brown's audio-book The Power of Vulnerability is available from her website,

ESP 2.17 Stop the "Stepmom Spiral": 3 ways to conquer the habit pattern of negative thinking.

February 18th, 2020


Want my free gratitude journal template? Grab it here:

I love to hear from you - really, it just makes my day every time. You can find me at my personal email,

If you'd …

ESP 2.16: Who pays for what, and how is that working out for you?

February 11th, 2020


Do you and your spouse ever argue about money? Does it drive you crazy that he spends too much on his kids, or that his ex is making poor choices with the child care payments coming out of your joint bank account?

My …

ESP 2.15: For those days when you think you just suck at this.

January 28th, 2020


Everyone has days like this, I know I have had my share. Days when you think you just suck at being a stepmom and everything that's going wrong is …

ESP. 2.14 Dads, Kids and Consequences (and the 4-minute mile)

January 21st, 2020


There's a lesson we can all learn from the story of how Roger Bannister became the first human to run a mile in under 4 minutes, and especially from what happened next!
The world is changing, family structures are …

ESP 2.13 Dealing with Alienated Teens

January 14th, 2020


This is from a live video I made for my Facebook group called One For The Dads. If you'd like to join (and you're a biological dad) send a join …

ESP 2.12 Riffing on Brene Brown's "Dare To Lead"

January 7th, 2020


If you don't know Brene Brown, just google her TED talk on vulnerability - it's had over 30 million views. She's the author of a number of fabulous …

ESP. 2.11 My Christmas Miracle + REPLAY: OVERSTEPPING

December 31st, 2019


Happy New Year to you, wherever in the world you're listening from. I am partway through a holiday experience unlike anything I've had in 13 years of …

ESP 2.10 Something for your heart this holiday season

December 24th, 2019


This is just a quick message about opening your heart, taking the high road and being the better person. It's the holidays, after all!

--- Send in …

ESP 2.9 Disengaging For Beginners - 3 Easy Steps

December 17th, 2019


What do you know about Disengaging? Here's a "start where you are" guide to finding your way to better stepfamily relationships via a detour from the path you thought you were supposed to take!

Connect with me at …

ESP 2.8 On Being A Childless Stepmom

December 10th, 2019


In response to a listener request, I interviewed Sonia Richter - artist, stepmom and blogger. Sonia opened her personal struggle with childlessness to the public when she wrote a blog called Raw Brutal Honesty On Being …

ESP 2.7 Five thousand desperate stepmoms Googled THIS phrase and found ME on YouTube!

December 3rd, 2019


I was astonished to learn that one of my stepmom tutorial videos was outperforming the others by 100 to 1. What was so special about my message in that video that had stepmoms flocking in droves to watch it?

Spoiler …

ESP 2.6 Control Junkie No More!

November 26th, 2019


I am a recovering control junkie and not afraid to admit it. I now get my fix minding my own business and controlling the only thing I really can, …

ESP 2.5 Step-parent Burnout Syndrome

November 19th, 2019


I am acquainted with burnout, like many other high performing women. I've burned out once as a wife and once as a stepmom. Luckily, I've been developing a rich support network around me to help me cope so that I don't …

ESP 2.4 She wants her mom and dad to get back together...

November 5th, 2019


...and other cute things stepkids say. In this episode, I chat with Tania Heinemann who I invited onto the podcast to talk about recovering from burnout and specifically about healing adrenal fatigue. Fortunately, we …

ESP 2.3: The Heartbreak Of Feeling Invisible.

October 30th, 2019


Do you feel invisible sometimes? Like, your stepchild acts as if you don't exist? Or your parenting input to your spouse is ignored? And what about a biomom who doesn't acknowledge all that you do for her child? This …

ESP 2.2 Duda Baldwin - Spiritual Teacher and Stepmom

October 22nd, 2019


Duda Baldwin is the creator of the Little School of Buddhism and she's a life coach who brings a spiritual edge to learning to crush your goals while …

ESP 2.1 Who Gets To Be Part Of Your Tribe?

October 16th, 2019


This is about your stepmom tribe, your dream team, your support network. We're going to design your very own dream team on this episode and by the end you'll know exactly who your team members are, where they're hiding …

ESP 15: The Disengaging Essay

August 27th, 2019


My guest Maarit Miller created and published a version of the Disengaging Essay that made it famous in the stepmom world. You can read it on Maarit's blog, Blended Family Frappe.

I'll be taking a break for the next …

ESP 14: Guest Shannon Bally on being a stepdaughter and a bio mom.

August 20th, 2019


Shannon Bally is the host of a podcast called The Bumpcast. Her life so far includes having 4 children and 3 stepmoms. Her husband is stepdad to her …

ESP 13: Is it mean not to share your cookies?

August 13th, 2019


This episode is about peer support and peer advice, and how to know when to take advice from a stranger. What does that have to do with sharing cookies?
A simple request for advice on social media gave me the …

ESP 12: Infertility - Support and Transformation with Dr. Stacy Thomas

August 6th, 2019


Dr. Stacy is a Clinical Psychologist in private practise in Toronto, Canada. She specializes in helping women manage the emotional challenges of …

ESP 11: Parental Alienation Part 3

July 30th, 2019


This final episode of my 3-part series on Parental Alienation is about how to support yourself and your partner to weather the emotional wear and tear of this kind of situation.

Please rate us on iTunes so other …

ESP 10: Parental Alienation Part 2

July 23rd, 2019


Kim Wilson describes her experience being completely alienated from her mother from age 1 to age 7, and the effect this had on her future …

ESP 9: Parental Alienation Part 1 - 10 Practical Tips

July 17th, 2019


Parental Alienation might be the most difficult challenge a step-family can face. Here are 10 practical tips for helping things along. In the next …

ESP 8. Understanding Loyalty: Loving The Stepchild Who Won't Let You In

July 9th, 2019


The loyalty bind, or loyalty conflict as it's sometimes known, is possibly the most insidious barrier to a healthy relationship between a stepmom and her partner's children. It's not always noticeable at the start of a …

ESP 7: The Spiritual Work of Step-parenting (part 2)

July 4th, 2019


Awareness, Acknowledgement, Acceptance. How do these apply to your step-parenting journey, and why are they important?

I think they're all that's between you and the dreaded "70%" - the tragic majority of stepmoms who …

ESP. 6 The Spiritual Work of Step-parenting (part 1)

June 26th, 2019


I have a personal story to share about my own journey towards embracing spirituality. It's the story of how I found my husband and became a stepmom!

The three important steps on the way to true peace and happiness are …

ESP 5: Drop The Knives! Part two of my conversation with Christina Providence

June 18th, 2019


Dropping the knives is a brilliant metaphor for thinking in a new way about working at the edge of your capacity (or the end of your rope, as a stepmom!) and how to get what you need to stay in "growth mode" instead of …

ESP 4: When High-Challenge Is Your Normal: Part 1 Of A conversation with Christina Providence

June 11th, 2019


Christina Providence is an energy coach who helps high performing women recover from burnout and get back their physical, emotional, mental and spiritual energy so they can feel like themselves again. She shares a great …

ESP. 3: The trouble with chores

June 4th, 2019


Should your step kids be doing chores? If you think so and their dad doesn't, what can you do? 

There's a difference between the practical reasons …

ESP 2: Red Flags and How To Spot Them with Lori Wilkins Sims

June 3rd, 2019


How can you tell the difference between random step family troubles and real "red flags" you should pay attention to? My guest Lori Wilkins Sims is …

ESP 1: Overstepping

June 3rd, 2019


Overstepping boundaries is almost inevitable as a Stepmom. How can we recognize when we've done it, and more importantly, how do we recover from it and make things right?

Did you know that my turbo training "Stepmom …

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