End-of-Life University

Learn about the hospice experience from the perspective of a family member.

My guest Kathleen Vallee Stein worked for the California Department of Aging and has written numerous articles on caring for aging patents for more than twenty years. Her work has been published in the Christian Science Monitor, Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Daily News, Pasadena Star-News, Orange County Register, and the Jewish Journal. Recently she has written a book about her family’s experiences as her father faced the end of life called Loving Choices, Peaceful Passing: Why My Family Chose Hospice, and today she’ll share insights from that hospice journey with her father. Learn more at her website:

www.valleeview.com

Get the book here

Read the transcript

Watch on YouTube

Listen here:

This episode includes:

• How her family made the decision to choose hospice for her father
• The challenges of having conversations about hospice with a loved one at the end of life
• How the family had to bring up hospice with the doctor initially but he was helpful after that point
• The relief experienced by the entire family and the patient once they made the decision to stop curative treatment and to enroll in hospice
• Negative misperceptions about hospice are an obstacle to early admission
• How her father’s temperament changed for the better after going on hospice
• Why Kathleen hired in-home professional caregivers even though her parents were initially opposed to it
• How they managed their parents’ financial issues as a family
• Dealing with old family conflicts that arise at the end of life
• How the hospice chaplain made a big difference for her father
• The many positive surprises that arose during her father’s end of life
• How they planned the funeral and made decisions about disposition
• How she and her mother grew closer through the challenges of caring for her father at the end of life
• Advice to those considering hospice for a loved one
• Hope and “precious time” with her father in his last days

Links mentioned in this episode:

• A Year of Reading Dangerously – Register here
• What Really Matters Podcast
• Kathleen’s handouts on Medicare and Hospice and on Hospice and Hope

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