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Dynamic Duel: DC vs Marvel

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Beast Boy vs Beast Episode Transcript

Transcription of our Beast Boy vs Beast episode

Listen to the Beast Boy vs Beast episode here!

hey marvelous Joe here at the top of the episode to announce new ways for you guys to support the show we’ve always produced a bonus bloopers episode each month for our patrons but now we have tiers on patreon that allow you to request duels from us and get the results for matches that you want to see and these requests don’t have to be just Marvel vs. DC do you want to see Hulk vs Thor results flash vs. Green Lantern Ryu vs. Liu Kang you name it we’ll put our Monte Carlo simulation runner to work for you another tier we’ve introduced gives you executive producer status that means will credit you in the show and turn to you with polls and surveys helping Johnny DC and me determine what Marvel and DC characters to pit against each other and what Marvel and DC films to review in the upcoming episodes and if this wasn’t all enough each tier gets a special monthly discount code to use in our store of 10 choose it’s a bonus bonanza for you guys just visit slash dynamic duel and select your tier you can get bonus episodes duel requests and or executive producer status again visit slash dynamic duel on with the show [Music] [Music] hi and welcome to the dynamic duo podcast a weekly show where we review superhero films and debate the superiority between Marvel and DC by comparing their characters and stat based battle simulations I’m Johnny DC and I’m as twin-brother marvelous Joe and in this episode we are pitting beast boy versus beast this is a big one it’s a big one folks it’s one of the main members of the Teen Titans team who can transform into basically any animal against one of the main members of the x-men who is an animal Hey he takes offense to that of course we’re doing this in our lead up to our 150th episode which will be a team match between the Teen Titans and the x-men yeah it’s coming up in just a few months here can’t wait for that but before we get into the duel you want to break down the comic book movie news from the past week of which there was just one thing of notes right and that’s the birds of prey poster that came out now we are recording this episode a night earlier than what we usually do so unless there’s some big news that drops on Monday yeah so it pretty much a slow news week we’re gonna start recording these episodes on Sunday nights now as opposed to Mondays yeah so any news that drops on Monday we’ll be talking about the following week right right as always we list our segment times in our episode description so go ahead and check out our show notes if you want to skip ahead to a specific topic we want to give a quick shout out to i funny battles matt underscore mega and chuch hidden of itunes forgiving just reviews this past week right we are up to 150 ratings 50 more to go on itunes our goal is to get to 200 because at that point rotten tomato says we’re eligible to have our reviews of the Marvel and DC films count toward the run tomatoes tomato meters it’s a huge goal of ours really looking forward to being Rotten Tomatoes critics if you guys could help us out with that goal by either rating us on Apple podcasts or iTunes if you haven’t already or sharing the show with someone that you think would enjoy it would be a huge help as always thank you guys very much 150 so fucking close with that out of the way quick to the no prize a no prize is an award Marvel used to give out up until the 90s to fans our version the dynamic duel no prize is a digital award that we post on social media that we personally draw for those who we feel gave the best answer to our question of the week last week’s question was which DC villains do you hope to see in the Suicide Squad and which cast member do you want to portray them and of course this was in reference to James Gunn’s reveal of the cast in his Suicide Squad film right yeah we got a bunch of good names there we don’t know exactly who a lot of those actors are going to be playing so it was interesting to get your guys thoughts on that our first honorable mention goes to Aaron Alexander Jones who said that Nathan Fillion should play a deadpan solomon grundy or do the voice for an arrogant gorilla grodd both of those are great answers Nathan Fillion could give each of those characters a comedic bent yeah he’ll bring enough character and enough charm for it to be just hilarious yeah yeah I hope it’s one of those two that was a great answer honorable mention goes to Salvador Martinez who said that Idris Elba should play the character of hush and that was kind of a surprising answer because hush has really only been a major part of one storyline I know they’ve tried to reintroduce him several times after his a bit of his Batman run but they never quite worked out I’m not even sure if he was a part of the new 52 I kind of grew attached to the idea that Riddler was hush from the animated movie that just came out kind of like that idea more than hush being his own character at this point I agree agree joel Seagrave said that Pete Davidson should be kite man which would be fantastic I love that what does kite man do he just glides but Tom kink has been using him a lot in the in his Batman run oh really yeah he’s just ridiculous Pete Davidson would play him so spectacularly Joel Seagrave also said that Idris Elba should be Cat Man I don’t know who can’t man is he was a big player in not the Suicide Squad but the secret six which was kind of like Suicide Squad light in a way I could totally see it yeah yeah he’s kind of a cool character kind of like Batman but lethal gotcha I’m still hoping Idris Elba plays as bronze Tiger yeah me too yeah honorable mention goes to George cran itis who said that Tycho YTD should play bat hombre now Tycho YTD is of New Zealand bet hombre is a South American character so I don’t know if he could quite pull that off there’s rumors that this film is gonna take place in a South American country if bet hombre makes an appearance I will die laughing in the theatres few would never the final honorable mention goes to Harrison Fox who said that he thinks Margot Robbie would make a fantastic Harley Quinn I think he’s pretty much on the nose I think that’s gonna happen inked in the film there’s like perfect casting the Harrison Fox nailed that answer yeah thanks for the jerk answer the winner of this week’s no prize goes to Sonny Morrison for his answer of Peter Capaldi as the ventriloquist which i think is spot-on that would be cool that’ll be cool the ventriloquist is a Batman villain whose ventriloquist dummy basically is the bad guy and he’s just been controlled by like this innocent old guy right yeah it’s pretty creepy pretty sinister yeah Sonny Morrison also said that Pete Davidson should be condiment King which I’ve been waiting for him to make his live-action appearance since forever I would just want to see Pete Davidson shoot ketchup and mustard from guns right right and he also said that Shawn gun should be onomatopoeia and I’m not sure if onomatopoeia has ever been in the suicide squad he’s a creepy villain though yeah he’s a Kevin Smith creation I remember seeing him from your comics he was he kind of looks like Edward Scissorhands no no you’re thinking murmur murmur oh yeah who the hell is onomatopoeia he’s the Kevin Smith creation he just speaks in onomatopoeia so he’ll just like Bam Bam Bam as he shouldn’t cuz he the guy with like a circle face mask exactly okay I was way off I don’t know DC congrats again to Sonny Morrison if you the listener want to win your own no prize stay tuned to the rest of the episode when we ask another question of the week now that that’s done on to the news [Music] so the poster for birds-of-prey was released last week I’m sorry I have to say the full title birds of prey and the fantabulous emancipation of one harley quinn there we go the poster was released last week and i have to say if you would have told me like five years ago that we were getting a birds of prey film uh-huh I’ve been like awesome that’s really cool and then he showed me this as the poster I would have slapped you and then said get the fuck outta my house right now I don’t know what I’m looking at it’s it’s bizarre II if you guys haven’t seen the poster yet go ahead and look it up it’s basically a close-up on Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn her head is tilted to the side she’s giving like this kissy face or like a new yeah she’s looking up and she sees all these flying people with bird wings the people are the characters from the movies right we see Huntress here with bird wings and you see Black Canary played by jurnee smollett Belle they only vaguely looked like their characters for the most part everyone else here is unrecognizable oh not even close if you would have told me that that was Black Canary again five years ago I feel like no it’s not where’s the fishnets you don’t know what you’re talking about why does she have wings like Archangel exactly or Hawkman exactly I don’t like oh this movie takes place on thanagar right I don’t know I don’t know by this point I don’t know the way they’re positioned around her face is just bizarre it looks like a weird acid trip of a poster because the background is like a whole spectrum of color and and people flying around to her head are like tiny fairies or something I think it’s supposed to be sort of like you know when you get injured in a cartoon like you see birds go around your head uh-huh so either she got physically harmed in the head or she’s on drugs or something like that or maybe it’s just a comment on her mental stability in general it’s possible that we’re reading too much into this that being said from a graphic standpoint ignoring the context is this an interesting poster yeah I mean it’ll definitely turn some heads uh-huh but as a comic book fan I just hate it so much I mean Huntress looks cool black and you know at least she’s doing a flying kick but Cassandra Cain doesn’t look like her cane that is not Cassandra Cain that’s not black mask it’s and that’s barely zazz like where’s all of his scars he has like some cuts on his forehead and that’s it and he’s holding a knife but what is going on here wears black masks masks we hypothesize that he’ll probably get the black mask at the end of the movie we can only hope I mean yeah I want some faithfulness to the source material here with this movie because we’re not getting it from the poster no I’ve heard people try to defend it yeah like I’ve seen posts online and I’m not buying any of it like what do people say they’re saying that it’s obviously a Harley Quinn movie and that you know this is very hard Quinn yeah and I’m like I guess first of all I don’t want it to be a Harley Quinn movie even though we’ve known for forever that it’s been a Harley Quinn would be this poster just kind of cements it in stone and way for me and it just makes me not feel good in my stomach they should have named the movie Harley Quinn and the birds of prey they should have you’re absolutely right yeah the tag line is kind of cool mind over mayhem I’m not quite sure what it means but it promises lots of like craziness I guess yeah I have a feeling that this movie is gonna take us on a wild ride in terms of marketing where we just keep going like oh that’s kind of interesting but also really what the fuck that brings us to our question of the week based on just the visuals in this poster what’s another film title this movie could have gone by yeah so I recommend looking up the movie poster and then putting your hand over the title of the movie and then coming up with your own title we want we want you guys to get creative tell us your best movie title for this poster this should be fun go ahead and post your answer to our Instagram Twitter Facebook or email us a dynamic tool podcast at we’ll pick our favorite answer and draw that person at dynamic duel no prize that we’ll post to social media I think that’s all the news for this week again slow news week but let’s go ahead and get into our main event where we pit beast boy against beast and find out who would win [Music] all right so Beast Boy versus beast we knew that we wanted to do a beast boy episode leading up to our one hundred and fiftieth Titans vs. x-men duel episode I think originally we were gonna pit him against Wolfsbane right new mutants vs Teen Titans kind of made sense that being said I didn’t want to go into this match knowing who would win I know that if Wolfsbane goes against Beast Boy it’s likely that she’ll lose cuz he can not only turn into a wolf like her but into so many other things so while that match was thematically appropriate it wasn’t good statistically same thing goes for Reptil who can turn into any prehistoric animal he is a member of Avengers Academy again anything he turns into Beast Boy could turn into so wasn’t good statistically I just learned about him recently he kind of looks like Beast Boy he does he’s kind of a rip off character they introduced him in the Marvel Super Hero Squad show and then they brought him into the comics oh yeah I’m not surprised what is that supposed to mean oh you know you know Marvel rips off DC characters and vice versa whatever listen I admit that right now anyway we ended up deciding on beast because I think Beast is an animal like character who’s kind of unlike any animal you know he’s much smarter he’s much stronger he has a whole lot going for him so while Beast Boy certainly has the versatility and has the leg up there beast is able to compensate in a lot of different areas so it’ll be interesting yeah great so let’s get into it if you’ve never listened to one of our duel episodes before what we do is run simulations based on the characters statistics which we pull from the Marvel power grid and extrapolate the DC character stats from that criteria right we take their stats and we run them through what’s known as a Monte Carlo simulation and what that does is it randomizes each stat number along a normal distribution which is a bell curve and we do that a thousand times which gives us a percentage of wayne’s for each character and we declare the character who gets the highest percentage wins to be the overall victor even though it doesn’t mean that they’ll win 100% of the time you know any character could be any other character depending on who’s writing but we basically see what the odds are of each character beating the other right we take this approach because we are both heavily biased myself for DC and Joseph for Marvel so we needed a sign approach to answer our lifelong questions of who would win against two so there’s no bias no fan votes no uncharacteristic feats of strength just base stats and we let the Monte Carlo simulation account for all the variables and before we run the simulations we like to give a breakdown of each character’s histories and abilities yeah I think I go first this time with Beast Boy so let me get into him so when Garfield Logan was a young child his scientist parents mark and Mary Logan brought him with them on a research trip to the African region of Upper lumumba where they worked on a way to reverse evolve animals as a way to bring back and study extinct creatures interesting during their expedition Gard contracted a rare virus called Sakuya the virus was lethal to all species of fauna save for the West African green monkey in order to save garze life his father Mark subjected gar to an experiment using their research to transform gar into a green monkey for 24 hours in order to let the virus die out we’re here but when gar returns to his human form he had green hair eyes and skin and the unintended ability to devolve / evolve into any animal an ability they discovered when gars mother was attacked by a black mamba snake and gar transformed into a mongoose to protect her several years later gars parents died in a boating accident and gar was taken in by a local tribe he was traded by the tribes witch doctor to a pair of American criminals who forced Gard to participate in their crimes gar eventually escaped and was placed in the care of his court-appointed guardian Nicholas gall tree the attorney for Logan’s estate who was after gars inheritance guard tried to join the Teen Titans at the time but he was rejected because he didn’t have his Guardians permission gall tree was aware at the time of gars shape-shifting ability gar instead joined a circus where he was hypnotized and to stealing money from audience members the Teen Titans discovered what was going on and fought gar is a villain before he was ever a member of the team the dude patrol took note of garz abilities and he began joining them in their adventures which his guardian Nicholas culture he found out about cult rehired a team of villains to kill the Doom Patrol and gar but the dew patrol came out on top and exposed gall trees scheme doom patrol members Mentos and Elastigirl whom you can learn more about in our last two girl versus miss Marvel episode legally adopted Garr as their child and he officially joined the Doom Patrol under the codename Beast Boy Beast Boy was a member of the Doom Patrol until the team was disbanded when its original members including his adopted mom Rita Farr seemingly died in an explosion needing a change of pace Beast Boy travelled to Hollywood where he became an actor and starred in the show Space Trek 2022 as an alien named lieutenant torque the show didn’t last long it was abruptly canceled when its producers were sued for plagiarism though while it was on the air he was noticed and recruited by the Titans West team and later joined a new Corps Teen Titans team at which time for a brief period he went by the codename changeling at the recommendation of his public relations team Beast Boy formed a close bond with fellow Titan cyborg who you can learn more about in our cyborg vs. Iron Man episode and a romantic relationship with his teammate Tara who was later revealed to be a traitor working for the team’s arch-nemesis Deathstroke who you can learn more about in our Deathstroke vs Deadpool episode Tara died in battle and that combined with his adopted father mentos being driven insane by his grief and mind control helmet caused Beast Boy to take a leave of absence from the Titans and focus on his education continued exposure to mentos mind control helmet brought about a dark side of Beast Boy and he began shape-shifting into demonic creatures instead of animals a demonic version of Raven who you can learn more about in our Raven vs Phoenix episode used Beast Boy to try and corrupt the other Titan team members the was eventually defeated and Beast Boy shape-shifting ability returned to animal forms when the original Teen Titans members invited Beast Boy to join a new version of the team named simply the Titans Beast Boy declined and attempted to pursue his acting career once again and later failed at forming a new Titans West team rebranded as Titans la when Donna Troy seemingly died resulting in the disbandment of the Titans and Young Justice teams Beast Boy Starfire and cyborg decided to mentor a new team of teens made up of former members of Young Justice including a new Robin Superboy Kid Flash and Wonder Girl this new team rescued and resurrected Raven and she and Beast Boy began a romantic relationship it was during this time that the new Titans team travelled to the future and Beast Boy met and fought a darker adult version of himself known as animal man huh after the Titans defeated their future versions and returned to the present Beast Boy eventually took on a leadership role in the team helping assemble a larger team made of multi-generational Titans members to take on superboy-prime during the Infinite Crisis after a brief stint with his original Doom Patrol team Beast Boy returns to the Teen Titans led by both him and Wonder Girl in the new 52 Beast Boy was first introduced as a member of the Ravagers and was a red-colored experiment of the shadow organization known as know where his red skin was the result of his connection to the red which is the life force that connects to all animals the same way that the character Swamp Thing is the avatar of the green life force that connects plants Beast Boy eventually escaped nowhere with the help of dr. Caitlyn Fairchild and after joining the Teen Titans eventually returned to his grain form in the rebirth era so he was read throughout all of new 52 pretty much yeah weird powers wise as mentioned earlier beast boy’s alter DNA allows him to transform into any terrestrial animal from any point in history from parasites to dinosaurs thank - his connection to the red he’s also been known to transform into alien animals perceived as mythic in nature like dragons or unicorns it’s difficult for him to do that however and he gets exhausted if he remains in that form for too long when he transforms into an animal he gets all of the innate traits of the animal such as venom production or bioluminescence because of his shifting genetic structure and mass he can also heal faster than average that’s a beast boy yeah I heard a few similarities there between that character and beast yeah well I’ve heard a few times you mentioned dark beast yes unlike the Age of Apocalypse future yeah that was specifically what I was thinking of I thought that was interesting yeah there’s like alternate future evil versions of both these characters right you know well beast beast is such a great x-men character he’s unique and interesting because of the dichotomy and his appearance and his demeanor now Marvel has a few monster characters like Ghost Rider and Hulk who act like monsters for the most part but beast is a monster character who acts more refined and eloquent more than any other superhero out there almost it’s fascinating it’s ironic he’s just awesome plus I really love the color blue dr. Hank McCoy was born in Illinois to Edna and Norton McCoy prior to his conception Hank’s father was exposed to radiation in a meltdown at the nuclear power plant where he worked it’s likely because of this that Hank was born with abnormally large hands and feet he was often mocked in school because of his proportions given the nickname beast by kids but Hank always had an exceptional IQ and excelled in academics his high school football coach once asked him to try kicking a football and Hank kicked it so hard the skin came off he was asked to join the football team and became a star athlete in high school and college the full extent of his superhuman skills became publicly apparent via television cameras that captured hank stopping some thieves who robbed to the stadium he was playing yet a villain named Orlando fury kidnapped Hanks parents and held them hostage forcing him to steal an experimental solar generator when Hank returned with the device Professor X and his new student Cyclops Angela and Iceman were there to help him rescue his parents they found him using cerebro and asked him to join their school he accepted and became the fourth member of the x-men he fought alongside the team against villains such as Magneto and the Brotherhood of mutants the Vanisher and eunice the untouchable all while completing his doctorate in genetic science he eventually left Xavier school and the x-men taking a position at Brandt corporation as a genetic researcher there he managed to isolate and extract the hormone that causes mutations in humans using it he created a serum that could temporarily activate latent mutations enhancing a mutant powers for a short time later in the comics this serum was reformulated into a drug called the mutant growth hormone when Hank overheard his research partner plotting to steal his work he drank the serum and transformed into a hairy fanged and clawed monster he found himself transformed permanently after failing to administer the serums antidote in time shocked by his new appearance Hank tried to cure himself to no avail isolated and morose he fabricated a latex mask for himself so he could go out in public he soon ditched the disguise though and joined the Avengers who were praised and celebrated as heroes very much unlike the hate and fear he received as a member of the x-men one day while on threat surveillance at the Avengers mansion hank saw that his old team was fighting the Hellfire Club he left to aid them and was present when Jean Grae turned into the Dark Phoenix after Dark Phoenix destroyed a solar system Hank and the x-men defended Jean against the Shia alien race in a battle on the moon against the Imperial Guard a fight that ended with the Phoenix sacrificing herself for her team though it was just a manifestation of Jean you can learn more about this in our Raven vs Phoenix duel episode Hank left the Avengers after fighting alongside the defenders in battle taking it upon himself to reorganize that team he recruited old teammates Iceman and Angel as well as Valkyrie and gargoyle the team disbanded after a battle with the dragon of the moon and the three former x-men helped form x-factor with the other original x-men after Jean Grey was discovered to be alive after stopping the threat of apocalypse x-factor merged with the main x-men team with Hank serving as the team scientific and medical expert when a villain named strife released the legacy virus into the atmosphere a virus deadly to all mutants Hank dedicated himself to finding a cure he became obsessed breaking into the base of the villainous genius mr. sinister to steal his notes on the virus working himself to near exhaustion he discovered some of his notes completed for him seeking the cause of this Hank discovered that the dark beast a sadistic alternate future version of himself had escaped the age of apocalypse timeline and was taunting him dark beast locked Hank away and joined the x-men pretending to be the real beast dark beast revealed himself during the onslaught saga when he joined onslaught they were both defeated and Hank was freed he went back to trying to find a cure for the legacy virus and with the help of dr. Moira MacTaggert he was successful after joining storms extreme x-men team Hank nearly died after a battle with the villain Vargas he underwent a secondary mutation after having his latent genetic potential activated by the x-men member sage in an effort to save his life this rendered him more lion-like in appearance and made Hank feel less human than ever he became an instructor at Xavier Institute and joined cyclopses astonishing x-men team to help improve the public image of mutants that was short-lived however as the events of M Day eradicated all but Hank devoted his time trying to reverse the effect and avoid mutant extinction after the secret invasion event where Skrulls invaded earth Hank left the x-men to join the shield offshoot sword which stands for sentient world observation and response department there he put a stop to their plans to round up all alien life on the planet and then he returned to X men’s new island base as a doctor he actually cited with the Avengers against the x-men during the Avengers vs. x-men event believing that Cyclops was wrong about the approaching reconstituted Phoenix force after the Dark Phoenix was defeated the mutant populace on earth was restored Hank used a time machine to bring the original x-men to the present to help convince Cyclops that his methods of establishing mutant equality were too extreme and you can learn more about that in our negative Man vs Cyclops episode with the help of the younger Hank McCoy Hank was able to revert from Lyonne link appearance back to his more ape-like appearance or like Wolfman appearance yeah like a Wolfman you know after the inhuman Terrigen mists were released on earth by Black Bolt which you can learn more about inertia Sam versus Black Bolt duel mutants everywhere started succumbing to their toxic effects in a disease known as M pox Hank dedicated himself to finding a cure however the inhuman Queen Medusa destroyed the cloud saving mutant lives and stopping and inhuman vs. x-men war that’s beasts history now beasts greatest asset is his brilliant mind he holds six PhD degrees while his a leading authority in multiple fields in biology chemistry and electrical engineering he is considered one of Earth’s most intelligent scientific minds alongside Henry Pym Reed Richards Tony Stark Bruce Banner and T’Challa Hank also has an enhanced physique strong enough to lift ten tons leap three stories high and run up to 40 miles per hour he has greatly increased agility and dexterity as well as enhanced durability and reflexes his senses are heightened and he can heal quickly due to his more advanced immune system finally he has three inch claws on each finger and toe that a razor sharp enough to rent stone and metal and definitely any dumb green animals that get in his way that’s beast I didn’t really touch on beast boy’s personality in my bio yeah one of the things I think that’s great about this matchup is that they could not be more different personality wise regard it is like a jokester prankster kind of character who doesn’t take anything seriously and is always making a joke yeah and beast is you know boring as shit no he’s not boring is she he is fascinating oh really would you invite him to a party hell yeah I would know UB should have the best jokes he’s the most interesting conversationalist out there if I could have a conversation with any superhero it would be beast he’d be the best he’s just a great talker well isn’t that talking his way out of this one alright now that we’ve gone over the histories and the abilities of each character what Jonathan and I like to do is improvise a scenario in which the characters fight against each other it’s how we imagine one of the 1000 simulations we run would actually play out yeah we don’t have any rules for the speculation other than the fact that the characters don’t know anything about each other save for the fact that they are a threat that needs to be put down they started about 50 yards apart on a battlefield that plays no factor in the battle itself right we don’t take stats for the environment so it plays no bearing down to match these characters have to win on their own merits without any outside help so with that being said these characters face each other down on the battlefield 50 yards apart who goes first let’s say that beast boy starts first why because he’s kind of impulsive that way Beast Boy turns into a falcon and takes to the sky beast leaps into the air and snatches the Falcon no he’s too high I think B so I underestimated just how high beasts can leap how I can be sleep for stories so yeah he’s within snatching range so that’s what beast does he snatches him out of the air and he like brings him down to the ground and I was about to crush him okay but then that’s when Beast Boy transforms into like a small mass and just like crawls up beasts arm to his neck at which point he transforms into an anaconda and chokes beast out well beast is much stronger than an anaconda so he grabs the Anaconda plants it on the ground in a headstand and spins around like a whirlwind what switch unravels the snake from his neck he’s doing like a breakdance move yeah kind of okay he’s cool like that oh it’s a dance song let’s do it be still destroy Beast Boy in advance Allah but no it’s not a dance-off he just did a cool breakdance ish move to remove the snake from his body and once that happens he has the snake pinch to the ground he opens up the snake’s mouth and extracts the snake’s venom from his teeth and then like stores it away and like a little graduated cylinder that it keeps in his pocket okay and he starts whipping the snake on the ground bludgeoning it but like after the first time beast boy gets smacked into the ground he transforms into a skunk soon no Beast is holding on to the scotch tail and he just farts right and beasts face and beast has heightened senses so this is just foul to him so he lets go of Beast Boy yeah and Beast Boy transforms into a huge muscular bucking bronco and he just double kicks beast right in the head like causing him to stumble backward and fall oh that’s a pretty good move that’s pretty good kick combos good combo yeah that hurt beasts so he gets up and he starts charging he starts running like an angry lion ape a beast boy okay so Beast Boy charges back but he charges as a triceratops oh shit so no they plow into each other and of course beast is trampled and stabbed impaled to death right there well no beast is agile enough to avoid the Triceratops horns but I will say that Beast Boy definitely wins that collision being that a triceratops has a whole lot more mass than beast so it beast dodges the horns flips onto the triceratops back and steers the Triceratops like into the ground just like crashing his head into the ground and beast leaps off okay so Beast Boy as he crashes he just kind of like rolls into it and transforms into a monkey and mid-roll he poos in his hand and it flings the poo at Beast be snatches the poo out of the air and then adds it to his little graduated cylinder and abuse boys like really married it out he’s like why are you doing he’s creating a chemical formula geez was he kind of like a venom bump what do you like to know at that point beast like lunges at Beast Boy at this monkey like Blanca style from Street Fighter 2 uh-huh that move where he like flies through the air and like a rolling ball yeah and he does that and he just bounces off this monkey like a pinball and sends the monkey flying backward okay so as Beast Boy you know recovers from that he transforms into a hummingbird he goes into the air right above him at which point Beast Boy transforms into a blue whale and just drops onto Beast well beast sees the whale falling and he stands like straight up as thin as he can with his claws straight up so instead of the whale crushing Beast what happens is that beast just cuts into Gees cuts into the blubber from below as it falls on him so now beast is inside the whale oh no and he would probably make some kind of quote in regards to the jonah and the whale or something like that right here or Pinocchio yeah at this point he takes out his shit venom combination and his graduated cylinder what and he injects it into the whale poisoning him with both the venom and shit so now Beast Boy is poisoned he’s a massive blue whale connecting a little bit of venom and shit into is not gonna do anything well then the whale better not shrink down is all I’m saying and after he injects the whale he just starts like scratching and tearing within the whales body he’s gonna get like really really sticky doing he doesn’t care okay well little-known fact I own a hedgehog and hedgehogs are immune to snake venom what yeah really like a mongoose I think so so Beast Boy shrinks down ought to be shoulder as a hedgehog and just pokes the shit out of the side of his face those things really hurt okay so B skidding lightly poked by a hedgehog not likely oh you like flicks the Hedgehog off of him pulls out any quills that may be stuck in there okay but as Beast is pulling out the quills Beast Boy is transformed into a komodo dragon and just breaks last shit out of his leg god yeah Komodo dragons are like really poisonous is the most poisonous oh shit well okay now beast doesn’t have venom immunity but he does have a heightened immune system so like the quickest venom from animals takes like 15 minutes to kill an average healthy human it’ll take like at least three times longer for this venom to kill beast so really you did nothing in terms of this battle is it gonna take like 45 minutes to kill Beast at which point you just pissed him off so beast just slams a fist down right onto the back of the Komodo dragons vertebrae just like breaking his back shit so beast boy’s back is broken yep yep okay well then Beast Boy turns into an invertebrate he’s gonna turn it to beast the worst nightmare he’s when I turn it to a flea okay okay try finding me now well beast can see the flea and he probably tries to like swat it actually it’s so small it’s already got him so Beast Boy makes his way up to like beasts like ears like the what yeah then he like jumps into his ear canal and then turns into like a brain parasite and now what oh shit I don’t know then a beast is like my mind is going that’s right shit well I think that beast has a special brain parasite antidote on his person which he administers and kills Beast Boy with medicine because he’s a doctor he knows how to treat brain parasites he’s fine yep you could think fast enough to do it in time if as mind as I already gone we’ll leave the match there either Beast Boy kills beast through parasitic activity or beast heals himself through drugs well so let’s go ahead and run the stats now in the simulations and find out which of these characters ended up on top for this match that was a really fun matchup the one that went way beyond even what I thought it could so I’m really pleased with how we played out that scenario there the stats were pretty interesting for the most part they were on par in terms of the more physical stats such as strength and speed yeah they can move about the same speed and there are animals who are almost as strong as beasts like an elephant can lift I think it was like 9 tons and African bush elephant yeah and then see wrecks as well as pretty damn strong right yeah there were also comparable in fighting skill yeah they both sort of have like their own animalistic style approach to fighting right we said that Beast Boy has a slightly greater range than beast since Beast Boy can turn into animals that can like spit venom and stuff like that animals with like projectiles like we we also said that Beast Boy is slightly more evasive than beast as evasive as beast is just because Beast Boy has the ability to shrink to avoid attack he can get really damn small as you said in the fight as small and smaller than a flea but beast is just so much more intelligent than Beast Boy so Beast definitely has the advantage there he can formulate attack plans and process the battle mentally much more effectively than Beast Boy and that’s what has me worried here I think you’re going to come out on top just because of that Intel instead are you so worried that you don’t want to see the results yeah I’ll just step out of the room while you I want to hear him alright the winner of the Beast Boy vs beast match is beast obviously of course yeah he won 643 matches out of the thousand simulations Beast Boy only one 357 you notice convinced for a while that Beast Boy was actually gonna take this one this sucks this is kind of a surprise I mean I knew that beast was gonna win but I didn’t know is gonna be by this much whatever this is nearly 2/3 of the matches beast comes out on top and when you think about it it just makes sense his intelligence makes him greater than any other animal out there it’s why humans are the top of the food chain and why mutants are even superior whatever it’s still rather hang out with Beast Boy he’s just like way cooler that does it for this matchup again beast wins sixty four point three percent of the time against Beast Boy marbles just freaking crushing it now we’re just gonna go on a roll here it’s awesome can’t wait to like never lose ever again gosh where’s our next duel funny you should ask our next duel is next week at which point we will be pitting the x-men Nightcrawler against the creeper oh yeah you’re going down you’re totally going down I’ll bet that I don’t think so so we picked that match up because those were the two characters that Marvel and DC infuse together during their amalgam event so we thought it was a pretty good matchup we’ll see how it goes yeah I mean other than the teleportation thing the night color has they’re pretty similar and creeper has his own advantages that I think will play into battle so we’ll see I don’t know much you bottom so we’ll see that does it for this episode go ahead and let us know what you guys thought by writing in to us at dynamic duel podcast at or you can find us on social media on Twitter Facebook and Instagram I highly recommend following us on one of those platforms yeah Instagram is for our no prize and episode cover art primarily yeah we reanimate those so that’s pretty cool yeah Twitter’s for news and Facebook has become like our number one spot for discourse essentially we had our audience yeah and you can find links to all these sites on our web site at dynamic duel comm where you could also find a link to our merchandise store which is on T public and if you use that link from our website you’ll get discount on your first purchase not as big one as you would if you were one of our patrons but still you’ll you’ll get a discount yeah go ahead and check that out guys please subscribe to the show if you haven’t already and if you have please share the show with your friends and family or on social media it helps us out a lot especially on Apple podcasts again we’re trying to get to two hundred ratings preferably by episode 150 just all the more reason to celebrate oh that would be so great this is episode 142 so we still have two months to get there yeah that would be awesome but I will talk to you guys next week up up and away true believers

Listen to Dynamic Duel: DC vs Marvel


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