Designated Parent

Whoever keeps putting these computer animated cartoon and video game characters into movies with real life actors really needs to stop.

For what is hopefully, but not probably, the last entry in the Toy Story saga we take a look at the transcendental terror of existence, dabble in the …

Disney brings you Stockholm Syndrome, but cute.

They make Easter movies now? About the Easter bunny? Was anyone really calling for that?

The sequel we always wanted where we ask many questions about Hu greenlit this movie.

The third best computer animated film 2001 had to offer.

We did it. We actually stuck with something for an entire year. What have we learned by this?

Nothing much, apparently.

In this episode, Adam has flashbacks to his days spent outside and remembers why he promised to never do that ever again.

The final (riiiiight) installment of the Skywalker Saga aka the main Star Wars movie.

We're pretty sure we forgot more than we remembered, but it's still a fun ride.

Anna Kendrick is probably part elf. You can't prove she isn't.

WARNING: THIS EPISODE MAY CONTAIN SPOILER REGARDING THE EXISTENCE OR POSSIBLE NON-EXISTENCE OF SANTA CLAUSE.

Now that is out of the way, we watch a sappy seasonal movie about recapturing the true meaning of Christmas in …

Sneaking in another episode before the next movie comes out. Enjoy?

Because, yes, it's about time it got up and made someone a shitton more money.

Lisa just watched it for the first time. Adam hasn't seen it in years. We get several plot points very wrong. See if you can spot them by yelling at your phone when they pop up!

If you didn't get enough stilted acting and parliamentary procedure from the last episode, have we got a welcome surprise for you!

It's as if a million nerds cried out at once, and were still complaining 20 years later.

The Jedi have returned but... why? And for how long? And what's the big plan, anyway? There is a plan, right? I mean, we're not just walking into an obvious trap. Right? Right?

A little, furry man saves the world. Yes, we're talking about Danny DeVito.

Easily the most watchable of the Star Wars films, probably. At least Lisa thinks so, and she has opinions as to why.

It's a classic. It's required viewing in my house. And, it turns out, Lisa's not impressed.

The most recent re-telling of the legend of the Grinch, which still fails to justify its existence over a 30 minute cartoon.

Think it couldn't get worse than the live action Alvin and the Chipmunk movies? Well, you're right. But this one isn't really worthy of the nostalgia.

The greatest movie of our time?

Probably not.

The greatest performance by Eddy Murphy in a children's movie?

Also, probably no.

Mike Myers' best work?

Still... no.

But it's Shrek and it kept Smashmouth on the radio for …

With Lisa out of town, Adam has to rely on some even more unreliable narrators to get through this episode.

No, you didn't miss an episode. Our kids just didn't want to watch Descendants 2. So we watch this one instead. We'd like to think seeing the second …

In a world where all the Disney films apparently happened at once, and where Beast has united the kingdoms under his iron rule...

Would have been a …

The fight club of the next generation.

Remember, you can never be anything besides what you were born to be so just make the most of your freakishness and hopefully you can help some of …

It was the early 2000's and Disney decided everything needed a sequel. Even things they just made. At least this one kept most of the original cast. And, really, that's the best we can say about it.

Eddy Murphy makes kids movies. This one thing you must remember or nothing that follows will make any sense.

Approaching Pluto Nash levels of bad …

Teaching our kids that anything is acceptable if you're doing it in order to produce energy. Right?

When their owners are away, pets will get into a series of unbelievable exploits but still somehow make it back home through a locked apartment in time for their owners' return.

But, somehow, it's not terrible.

The best movie to come out of Disney between 1995 and... well... we're waiting.

Did the world need 3 Despicable Me movies? No. But they got them anyway. Here's our thoughts on the third.

Mediocre children's book turned worse than mediocre children's movie.

Is this the best Olsen Twins/Kristy Allen/Steve Guttenberg/Rob Base & DJ E-Z crossover event of all time? I mean, I hope not. But here we are.

Did you think that one movie was enough to tell the saga of the lives of the Malibu Rescue team? You were right. But here's a miniseries anyway.

Stay out of Malibu, Lebowski.

Actually, if at all possible, we should all really try to stay out of this one.

Back after a little time off, we dig into the movies our kids watched on vacation, starting with the sequel to one of my least unfavorite kids movies.

Adam Sandler and Russell Brand bring you the story of how a grown man tries to manipulate kids' imaginations to get everything he ever wanted and …

Tim Allen stars in what was not his worst film of 2006. But it's bad. It's really, really bad.

We are fine. Everything is not fine. But we are fine.

Reviewing a masterpiece before the inevitable unnecessary remake.

Hippy Juice

1 Cup Watermelon Vodka
1/2 Cup Rum
1/2 Cup Triple Sec
Top a gallon with pink Country Time lemonade made to instructions.

We're in the endgame now...

We finish up last week's discussion about the Marvel Cinematic Universe by looking at Avengers: Endgame.

Again, maybe some spoilers.

*SPOILERS*

THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR MOVIES CURRENTLY IN THEATERS.

Lisa and Adam blow through the entire MCU up to Endgame in a single episode. Spoilers abound, but so does confusion.

Also, Adam is wrong, …

We have many questions about the Harry Potter universe. But since half the team is a drunk Hufflepuff, we may never know the answers.

Snake Pliskin does Santa Clause. Not the weirdest casting for the jolly old elf, but not a great movie, either.

Melonade:

1 oz. Raspberry Vodka
1 …

A love letter to Canadian children's programming, and why you should be listening to their soundtracks.

The timeless tale of why your town probably shouldn't get a significant portion of its identity from that time you all freaked out because a four …

Here's an idea... let's make a kids movie based on Greek mythology. It's the only logical direction to go after the success that was Hunchback of …

It's a movie... about emoji. We've hit the bottom and kept digging.

What could possibly be creepier than the 1980's Winnie the Pooh show on the Disney Chanel? Oh. Yeah. Christopher Robin with PTSD.

The final installment of a 14-ish movie series based on that one video that won America's Funniest Home Videos in 1991. Really.

The most unsettling moving Robert Rodriguez's production company has ever made.

Adam's awkward answers about anthropomorphic automotive anatomy.

Can an infinite number of radioactive spiders biting an infinite number of moody teens create a good movie?

Looking into the happy side of child neglect and abandonment, it's this week's episode of Designated Parent.

Seriously, who is looking after these kids in Piqua, Ohio?

The exciting conclusion to the immortal Hotel Transylvania trilogy. Wait, who are we kidding? They're going to make more and more of theses until they lose all meaning and outnumber the Land Before Time movies.

Tonight we dissect the multi-generational trauma that is Fuller House,  where nothing makes sense and everything seems like it was written by aliens …

A movie about a talking dog and its friends saving Christmas. Because that's original. Pass the Merlot.

Our first episode, recorded on a dare. One of us gets a little drinky while we try to remember what happened in the movie we literally just watched. This time it's the sequel to the sequel to the Squeakquel. Because no …