Cope Queens

"Not everyone will appreciate what you do for them. You have to figure out who's worth your kindness & who's just taking advantage of you."- Unknown

In episode 15, To Help or Not to Help, Elaina and Tracy discussed the reality of recommending people for jobs, going out of one's way to help someone else, and the common pitfalls of helping and supporting those who may not deserve it. They also explored experiences with the lack of support and challenges in professional settings    

We help others for the good of our own heart and not expect anything in return. But does that mean that we have to continue to help you after they appear not to appreciate the help or are taking advantage?

Professionally, we often find people who are very intelligent and hardworking and motivated. We form bonds based on mutual respect and understanding. When we recommend someone for a job, we are staking our reputation. Sometimes we support people, and they perform well and sometimes not so much. 

Tracy shared an experience when recommending someone for a position did not go well. Now I am careful to decide whether to help someone or not. 

Sometimes people use you for their motives and then once reached, will never be back. Please do not take these minor things; they can only burn you once. Life is long. Opportunities come and go. We need people at every point, so we also not need to burn the bridges. Maybe today you need others, and at another point in life, they may need you. Life is always like this. There always be ups and downs, never a straight road. 

We should listen to people, but still, it should be our choice to help them or not. It may make us feel stressed that it is perceived that we must help others at any cost. 

When we recommend someone for a job, we are staking our reputation at a certain point. So, we have to have those limits and those boundaries in place. 

It feels like we're a double minority in the workplace. We are not only deal with all the everyday things as a woman in corporate America, but also, we have to deal with the toxic relationship between another woman in the workplace, and it's unfortunate. 

I think we have to get to a place where if we started focusing more on ourselves and stop worrying about everyone else and do some good for somebody else. Only If we believe that person deserves it, and if you don't, maybe have a conversation to help them understand what they need to do to earn your help. I'll be honest. Everybody doesn't deserve it. 

Find another way to give back, and don't let it ruin a friendship or any relationship. But if you are that person that continually puts others' needs above your own and you always put your neck out there for people, don't let the same individual keep burning you. Don't do that to yourself. 

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