Cope Queens

Do you, at times, feel stressed or anxious about spending time with family during the holidays? Episode 4 is all about the stress of hosting, attending holiday celebrations, and dealing with certain types of members. 

In episode 4, Surviving the Holidays, Elaina and Tracy shared their experience with holiday stressors such as family planning and preparing for holiday gatherings, gift buying, and dealing with conflict. Both also share a couple of coping strategies that have helped them along the way.

The holidays for many people trigger anxiety and depression, and we’re going talk through how to manage those feelings. And discuss how to approach holidays differently to meet your needs. If you’re a person that suffers from anxiety or depression, the holidays can trigger those feelings and stressors. 

Tracy shared how, a week or two before Christmas, and I’m frantic at this point. Like, okay, I haven’t gotten a gift for anybody and then that stress that I was putting on myself, it’s self-inflicted. So, trying to prepare and plan has been one of those coping mechanisms for me to help me get through the holidays. And I think it’s crucial to try to implement and plan where you can.

Tracy shared the importance of compromise. Being married, you have to compromise where it’s like now he may want to go someplace I don’t want. So, what I’ve tried to do is set limits number of places we go to. The other thing is, let’s define the amount of time we’re spending here, and we’re going to make sure it’s equal. 

Elaina said another aspect of holidays and specifically for Christmas is gift buying; it’s not stressful for me, because we do not have to feel obligated to participate in any activities that we genuinely don’t want to join in or be around people we don’t want to be around. 

Don’t go broke trying to buy gifts. The people who love you love you for you, not for what you can do for them, and anybody that feels differently about that didn’t deserve what you were going to spend your money on them for anyway.

If you are in those family situations and there’s family conflict, just set that aside for the moment, but those differences on the back burner. Deal with that conflict at another time. If something does occur, remove yourself from the situation and have fun. 

Elaina introduced the 5,4,3,2,1 coping strategy, which is a grounding exercise aimed at reducing stress and anxiety.

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