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Beware of the Leopard: the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy podcast

81 EpisodesProduced by Mark Steadman, Jon Bounds, Jon Hickman, Danny SmithWebsite

New additions to the book with the famous words "Don't Panic" on the cover. Smart and funny, fusing real-world observation with a writing style Douglas Adams fans have sorely missed.With each topic, the panel of authors and performers present an essay in the style of a Hitchhiker's Guide entry, whic… read more


47: From politics to Pralite monks

Join Mark and the Jons as they traverse the P section of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.


The Jons explain why David Icke is like a British Rail sandwich, and that lizards eat babies.


The Pondermatic is another computer not as smart as Deep Thought, who in fact called it a “cybernetic simpleton”.


Poodoo is an executive from the company that built the cloning machines that created the hundreds of millions of Lintilla clones we meet on Brontitall, in the second radio series.

He draws up agreements to cease to be, which are disguised as marriage licenses. Two of the three Allitnils - clones designed to be irresistibly attractive to Lintilla and her clones - “marry” two of the Lintilla clones, and thus the Lintillas are destroyed.


It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, but not every one of them is inhabited. So there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero.

From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.

Practical Parenting in a Fractally Demented Universe

We live in strange times. We also live in strange places: each in a universe of our own. The people with whom we populate our universes are the shadows of whole other universes intersecting with our own. Being able to glance out into this bewildering complexity of infinite recursion and say things like, “Oh, hi Ed! Nice tan. How’s Carol?” involves a great deal of filtering skill for which all conscious entities have eventually to develop a capacity in order to protect themselves from the contemplation of the chaos through which they seethe and tumble. So give your kid a break, OK?”


Prak is a little man with scraggly hair, given too much of a truth drug, after the Krikkit robots stole the Argabuthon Sceptre of Justice and jogged the surgeon’s arm while the drug was being administered. When asked to tell “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth”, he begins to tell the court the entire history and present of the universe.

Pralite monks

Ford learns how to skin animals on Earth from an ex-Pralite monk. The galaxy is littered with them apparently, all on the make, because the mental control techniques the Order have evolved as a form of devotional discipline are, frankly, sensational - and extraordinary numbers of monks leave the Order just after they have finished their devotional training and just before they take their final vows to stay locked in small metal boxes for the rest of their lives.


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Listen to Beware of the Leopard: the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy podcast


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