Cover art for podcast Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People

Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People

349 EpisodesProduced by Earwolf & Chris GethardWebsite

1 phone call. 1 hour. No names. No holds barred. Thats the premise behind Beautiful Stories from Anonymous People, hosted by comedian Chris Gethard (the Chris Gethard Show, Broad City, This American Life, and one of Time Outs 10 best comedians of 2015). Every week, Chris opens the phone line to one … read more

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Cocaine Lady Is Also a Scorpio (Live from Pittsburgh)

August 9th, 2022

1:06:59

She got ghosted by a guy with a pet rabbit named Bun Bun, but not before he gave her covid. A painter explains to Geth why she moved into an RV with a crystal-selling-hippie and how she confronted him at his mom's …

Young Guy With A Positive Attitude

August 2nd, 2022

1:04:38

Wrist surgery turned into something more serious and his dog lost a leg to cancer, but that won’t keep this caller down. Geth speaks with a …

Nothing But Threesomes (Live from Woodstock)

July 26th, 2022

1:07:31

A 24-year-old woman keeps getting hit on by couples, but she's never had a threesome. Geth and a live audience help her decide if she should go on a …

Quitting Journalism

July 19th, 2022

1:13:40

A queer journalist opens up to Geth about the pressure to be active on social media and feeling traumatized covering the news. They discuss the complicated relationship between comedy and journalism and what happened …

Solo Traveler (Live From Sirius XM)

July 12th, 2022

1:07:40

Live from Sirius XM studios in New York, it's Beautiful/Anonymous!A 31-year-old single Californian shares the pros and cons of traveling around …

Heart Attack At 42

July 5th, 2022

1:06:04

A woman describes the surprising events that led to her heart attack. She opens up to Geth about the fact that her brother died last year of a heart attack at 42 under completely different circumstances. She also shares …

Foster Parents Who Love D&D (Live from Seattle)

June 28th, 2022

1:07:17

A married couple who recently became foster parents talk about what motivated them to foster and how it’s dramatically changed their lives.

They open up about how everyday is "emotional limbo" because they don't know if …

Two Married People Have An Affair

June 21st, 2022

1:09:05

Chris speaks with a man about having an affair with a married woman he met at work and the aftermath of his decision. He opens up about getting …

Big Time Goof (Live from Ann Arbor)

June 14th, 2022

1:06:23

A self described “big time goof” with a laugh you won't forget opens up to Geth about his dreams of becoming a traveling musician. The former children's librarian discusses his favorite children's book "Everybody Poops" …

Queerness and Faith

June 7th, 2022

1:06:23

In order to keep her faith, she had to accept who she really was. A woman speaks with Geth about going through a breakup and bringing her queerness and spirituality into alliance. She opens up about being part of a …

Drug Money For Law School

May 31st, 2022

1:06:27

A law student shares how he ended up paying for school selling weed on the dark web. He explains why he thinks college is a scam and how dealing …

Improvisational Jazz

May 24th, 2022

1:06:07

A piano playing jazz musician improvises songs with Chris about his son's tummy troubles, art, and life. She also opens up about doing a stand-up set for her musical hero and experiencing harassment as a woman in the …

Raising a Son With Autism

May 17th, 2022

1:09:54

A father in Portugal opens up to Geth about fatherhood and raising a child with Autism. He explains how his son’s diagnosis made him start to question if he too might be on the Autism spectrum. He also discusses where …

Mixed-Orientation Marriage

May 10th, 2022

1:08:01

After 20 years together, her husband told her that he was attracted to men. Now they're in an open marriage and still best friends. A woman opens up …

The Land Of Smiles (Live from Denver)

May 3rd, 2022

1:04:49

A native Texan opens up to Geth about leaving everything behind after her mom’s death and moving to Thailand. She shares a crazy story about the time she got robbed then moved in with a Muay Thai fighter. She also talks …

Identical Twins

April 26th, 2022

1:02:44

Geth speaks with charming, identical twin geniuses about “twin hopping,” fraternal twin frauds, and who would play them in a film. They get into twin …

Attacked By Birds Listening to Beautiful/Anonymous (Live from Sacramento)

April 19th, 2022

1:05:51

An ornithologist speaks with Geth about studying skuas and the time she almost punched a penguin. She opens up about how working in the field has …

Autopsy Technician

April 12th, 2022

1:02:06

An autopsy technician explains the origins of his dark sense of humor and why he wants a career change. He also opens up to Geth about the importance of emotionally detaching during an autopsy, the hardest he’s laughed …

New Job, Dead Dad

April 5th, 2022

1:06:09

A daughter opens up about losing her dad and going through a big career change at the same time. She shares the strange way she got her new job and how it felt to plan a funeral for someone she never really knew. 

Monogamish

March 29th, 2022

1:06:18

A woman opens up about being a closeted bisexual during her marriage. She shares with Geth how infertility issues and getting divorced led to coming …

Clothing Optional Gay Resort (Live from San Francisco)

March 22nd, 2022

1:09:58

Where does one put their room key and vax card at a nude resort? Our caller reveals the answer to Geth live from San Francisco. He shares his theory …

Hiked the Appalachian Trail

March 15th, 2022

1:08:38

A man discusses the biggest challenges of hiking the trail and the scariest thing of all: Lyme disease. He describes legendary (and sometimes creepy) people known along the trail including the shirtless “hammer man” and …

Divorced at 25

March 8th, 2022

1:02:32

A young woman describes living life backwards after buying a home at 22 then moving in with roommates post-divorce with her baby. She also opens up to Geth about coming from a family of 8 and the fact that her son is …

Warrior Shaman

March 1st, 2022

1:05:23

Years of PTSD nearly destroyed this former Green Beret's life, until he found a new path. He speaks with Geth about the Ayahuasca retreat that changed everything and how he became a shaman. He also shares how he's been …

First Burp, First Kid (Live From Omaha)

February 22nd, 2022

1:04:52

Geth speaks with a new dad who recently got surgery to help him burp. Will the live crowd in Omaha get to hear the caller belch? Only time will tell. He and Chris also talk about favorite sodas, like/dislike of …

Dating and Disabled

February 15th, 2022

1:05:25

A woman with cerebral palsy and a dark sense of humor tells the story of how her fiancé proposed. She discusses dating as a disabled person, "chair chasers", and why laughing is so important. She also bonds with Geth …

Engaged, But In Love With Someone Else

February 8th, 2022

1:03:45

In honor of Valentine's Day, we're releasing some funny, heartwarming, heartbreaking episodes about dating and romance. Either she gets married in 3 weeks or disappoints 160 Greek people. A woman opens up about having …

I'm a Sugar Baby

February 1st, 2022

1:06:53

A graduate student getting her PhD in engineering talks about joining a sugar baby website to help pay for school. She speaks with Geth about how …

Bonus: Dad On Pills

January 28th, 2022

16:02

We're bringing you a special bonus release of Chris Gethard's new audiobook Dad On Pills! This book is about Geth's relationship with being a dad coupled with his relationship with being mentally ill, growing up in the …

Traditional Mexican Parents

January 25th, 2022

1:08:17

Turning 21, leaving home, and a terrible secret. A young woman opens up to Geth about her mother’s reaction to a traumatic event that caused a rift between them.

Bread-sexual (Live From Rochester)

January 18th, 2022

1:08:03

Sex or a “wee piece of toast?” A Brit opens up to Geth about being less horny during the pandemic and more into hobbies. She shares her love of bread and somehow it gets sexual. They also find commonality between the …

Met My Fiancé at Her Wedding

January 11th, 2022

1:10:01

She went from notarizing her now fiancé’s divorce papers to falling in love. A woman shares with Geth the story of meeting her partner and getting past their 13 year age difference.

300 Episodes, 300 Minutes

January 4th, 2022

5:04:30

On the 300th episode of Beautiful/Anonymous, Chris stays on the line for 5 hours. The only rule? The caller decides when it's time to hang up. Geth …

2022 New Year's Resolutions

December 28th, 2021

1:54:34

From having more sex to writing a musical to leaving an abusive marriage, this year’s callers have some big goals for 2022. Geth also talks with someone who really doesn’t like bananas and a woman calls in from her …

Borderline Caricature of an Alaskan

December 21st, 2021

1:06:06

Building an airstrip, fighting bears, and grieving in the wilderness of Alaska. A woman tells Geth about life in her home state and about hiking to …

Ex-Husband Was A Pastor

December 14th, 2021

1:08:23

Pregnant at 16, a whirlwind marriage, and exorcisms. A woman describes the disturbing practices her ex performed to “fix” someone’s mental illness. She also opens up to Geth about what it was like getting divorced from …

Adopting as a Trans Person

December 7th, 2021

1:02:24

A trans man opens up about having to use his dead name on legal documents and other complexities of adopting as a trans person. He also talks about his love of video games and what it's like being married to a Wiccan.

Sexual Dungeons and Dragons

November 30th, 2021

1:06:23

Robots and superheroes and spanking, oh my!  A 'NiteFlirt' phone sex operator talks about her job and diverse group of clients. Later on, Geth gets a …

Frog Bog and A Porn Closet

November 23rd, 2021

1:04:26

A former carny talks about the time she taught a former president how to play Frog Bog. She also shares other crazy job stories with Geth including working for a tech company that had a giant porn closet.

Mom Fell In Love With a Scam Artist

November 16th, 2021

1:09:34

A daughter tells Geth the story of a scam artist who manipulated her mother. She gets into the details of how this young man took advantage of many …

Crisis Hotline Worker

November 9th, 2021

1:03:57

Chris speaks with a licensed therapist about what it’s like talking people through a crisis and how their jobs overlap. They also get into the strange joys of having kids and the weird things that they do learning …

Met My Husband on Tinder

November 2nd, 2021

1:03:27

A woman opens up about going from Tinder match to marriage. She and Geth also discuss body positivity and geek out over marching band.

Honor Among The Barbers Of Kansas (Live From Philly)

October 26th, 2021

1:05:40

Live from Philly, it's Beautiful Anonymous! A barber and middle school football coach reveals the weirdest thing someone said to him in the chair. He …

Got a Squatter

October 19th, 2021

1:02:53

A young woman let someone stay at her place, and now he won’t leave. She opens up to Geth about her social anxiety and an affair with a married man.

Most Isolated City In The World

October 12th, 2021

1:06:35

Sunshine, self-made billionaires, and almost no COVID-19 cases. A woman from Perth, Australia lists the many reasons Geth should come visit her …

Used To Be A Monk

October 5th, 2021

1:04:26

A former monk now mailman talks about why he joined the monastery and why he left. He and Geth also discuss the complicated history of the Catholic …

An Italian Living In The US

September 28th, 2021

1:04:19

Self deprecation, immigration, and pizza. A woman from Italy talks to Geth about coming to America and NYC’s roots to pizza. She also explains why she thinks people in her country are more self deprecating than …

Famous In Richmond

September 21st, 2021

1:03:25

Stay in Richmond or move to New York? A guy working for his family's meat business contemplates whether he should move for law school. He also shares …

Selling Sex Toys in Vegas

September 14th, 2021

1:08:04

Ben Wa Balls and steel dildos and butt stuff, oh my! Geth talks with a sex toy designer living in Vegas. They also discuss how one gets into designing and selling sex toys.

Psychiatric Nurse

September 7th, 2021

1:03:35

A psychiatric nurse opens up to Geth about how the pandemic has affected people mentally and the uptick in patients she's seen. She also shares what she loves about her job despite the challenges.

The Funeral Industry vs. Disneyland

August 31st, 2021

1:03:36

A former funeral director explains why she quit during the pandemic. She also talks to Geth about the surprising similarities between the funeral industry and her previous gig working at Disneyland.

A Real Life Rom-Com

August 24th, 2021

1:05:54

She’s in Canada and he's in Australia. They haven't seen each other in months, but they're about to be married. A bride-to-be tells Geth how she found love in Tuscany.

Quit My Job, Now I Sell Crossbows

August 17th, 2021

1:05:18

Years of sexism at her corporate job led this thirty-something woman to quit and become a Twitch streamer. She also started selling crossbows and finds it invigorating.

Porno Disco Parties

August 10th, 2021

1:03:52

Oil wrestling with lube, drugs, and "porno disco" themed parties. A caller shares with Geth what it's been like living in a Victorian mansion with 13 people.

Losing DACA

August 3rd, 2021

1:08:50

A young woman opens up to Geth about losing her DACA status. She also shares what it's been like for her family and trying to stay under the radar.

Diagnosed with Parkinson's At 30

July 27th, 2021

1:07:46

A woman with Parkinson's talks about how getting brain surgery changed her life. She also educates Geth on the definition of masking and how medical marijuana has helped her. We decided to make a special t-shirt in …

Hippie Dippie Public Speaking Consultant

July 20th, 2021

1:06:44

A former Peace Corps volunteer explains to Geth what being a public speaking coach for Reiki healers and dentists entails. She also opens up about …

A Posh Liver Transplant

July 13th, 2021

1:07:31

The 'Posh Perspective' caller updates Geth on a recent liver transplant. She talks about the difficulty of processing that someone had to die for her …

Dating During COVID

July 6th, 2021

1:04:21

What’s it like to fall in love during lockdown? A thirtysomething aspiring gardener shares the pros and cons of dating during the pandemic. He also opens up to Geth about his journey to body positivity as “the big guy.”

Odd Duck Trucker

June 29th, 2021

1:01:08

The deregulation of the US trucking industry led to major changes including the decline of unions over the last few decades. A Minnesotan truck …

It Happened For A Reason

June 22nd, 2021

1:01:02

A mom calls in from the hospital after her baby’s abdominal surgery. She opens up to Geth about the ups and downs of having 2 kids with the same genetic condition.

Marijuana Mansion

June 15th, 2021

1:05:49

A stand up comedian reveals to Geth why her AA group calls her “the real Mrs. Maisel.” She also talks about her time in the “marijuanna mansion” and what it’s like hanging out with hard partying symphony musicians.

Love Addict

June 8th, 2021

1:03:01

A woman opens up to Geth about being a love addict and why it's different from sex addiction. She also talks about her struggle with only being interested in unavailable men.

Mr. Postman

June 1st, 2021

1:00:39

Geth finds out whether dogs actually dislike postal delivery workers from an actual mailman. The postman also opens up about his dreams of becoming a chef and the weirdness of having to deliver penis pumps.

Native American Biological Engineer

May 25th, 2021

1:03:29

A young woman opens up to Geth about having imposter syndrome as one of the few WOC biological engineering students in her program. She also …

Saved By The Meow

May 18th, 2021

1:13:17

A man opens up to Geth about being abused by a family member. It's a difficult conversation, but his meowing cat has strangely good therapeutic …

The Real Netherlands

May 11th, 2021

1:05:28

A Dutch woman shares her feelings about being from a “progressive country” and her thoughts on the United States. She also opens up about the …

Apple Watch Saved My Life

May 4th, 2021

1:05:00

A 52 year old woman explains how her Apple Watch alerted her to a serious health issue. She also opens up to Geth about how she became such a …

Black Teacher In Minneapolis

April 27th, 2021

48:42

A teacher from Minneapolis opens up about what life in his hometown has been like since the murder of George Floyd. He also shares with Geth what he …

27, Dating A 53 Year Old

April 20th, 2021

1:04:47

A woman shares what it’s been like dating a man almost twice her age. She also talks about what led to her making it to a 30 under 30 list.

Introducing Real Good

April 16th, 2021

1:11:33

Hello Beautiful/Anonymous fans! Enjoy this episode of a new show that focuses on systematic equality. This episode features an interview with the …

Moving To Another Country

April 13th, 2021

1:00:57

A teacher talks to Geth about moving out of the country for a new position. She also shares what it was like getting married during lockdown and how spite can be motivating.

I'm A Surrogate: Part 2

April 9th, 2021

1:06:11

A couple months after speaking with a surrogate, Geth follows up with her because she had some unfortunate news. They speak frankly about a …

I'm A Surrogate

April 6th, 2021

1:06:37

A surrogate explains why having a baby for someone else is so meaningful to her. She and Geth also get into the difficulty of infertility.

Chinese American Adoptee

March 30th, 2021

1:05:01

A Chinese American woman shares her thoughts on the uptick in violence against Asians in the U.S. She also talks with Geth about what it’s like …

Beautiful Shorties: One Year Later

March 26th, 2021

32:59

A 19 year old looks back at her progress on the one year anniversary of her suicide attempt. She also talks with Geth about how her viral TikTok …

Analyze My Dreams

March 23rd, 2021

1:03:30

A woman who loves working at a psychiatric hospital shares her dream journal with Geth and he loosely analyzes them.

Let's Talk About Sex

March 16th, 2021

1:27:43

A sex educator shares her research on sexless marriages and why scheduling sex is actually a good idea. She also tells Geth what got her love life …

Beautiful Shorties: 72 Year Old Life Review

March 12th, 2021

36:27

From Woodstock to raising 3 kids as a single mom to switching careers, a retired woman in lockdown has got a lot of stories to tell and so much more life to live.

Hallucinating Gremlins

March 9th, 2021

1:04:27

A former vet talks to Geth about channeling his experiences in the military into comedy. He also shares his thoughts on the rise of militias in the United States and why he hates knitting.

Choose Love Everyday

March 2nd, 2021

1:07:47

A young woman opens up to Geth about falling asleep while breastfeeding and losing her baby. She theorizes about how much her being black had to do with being charged with manslaughter after the tragic event.

Beautiful Shorties: Mental Health Researcher

February 26th, 2021

34:44

A woman studying the effects of poverty on the mental health of low income mothers shares what she's learned. She also opens up to Geth about her struggles with depression and how Ketamine treatments changed her life.

Unhoused

February 23rd, 2021

1:05:07

A woman shares how she went from being unhoused to getting her own place. She also educates Geth on day to day life as an unhoused person and how it …

Widower Remarried

February 16th, 2021

1:05:40

A psychotherapist in Israel talks to Geth about losing his first wife and how it opened his heart for another love. He also discusses getting …

Beautiful Shorties: Trans Woman In The Bible Belt

February 12th, 2021

35:02

A trans woman speaks with Geth about the secret joys of transitioning and what happened when she came out to her conservative, Southern Baptist family.

My Son Is Deaf

February 9th, 2021

1:08:12

A mom opens up to Geth about her unique hearing condition and raising a deaf son. She also talks about his career as a professional gamer.

My Friend Took Their Own Life

February 2nd, 2021

1:08:15

A young woman opens up about her best friend's suicide and the emotional toll it's taken on her. If you're thinking about suicide, are worried about …

Bonus: New Jersey Is The World

January 28th, 2021

1:35:35

We're bringing you a special bonus release of Chris Gethard's new podcast series New Jersey Is The World! Geth's new project is an umbrella of …

I'm Narcoleptic And Collapsed During Sex

January 26th, 2021

1:06:07

A woman describes what it's like being narcoleptic with cataplexy. She shares her wildest episodes, including when she's collapsed mid sex and mid …

Gay 1st Generation Chinese American Best Friend

January 19th, 2021

1:03:52

A wildlife biologist has a message for closeted first generation Chinese American boys. He and Geth also chat about the gay volleyball scene, why …

Beautiful Shorties: OnlyFans, Good Sex, & Grilled Cheese

January 15th, 2021

43:23

A recently unemployed woman talks to Geth about why she started an OnlyFans account and her complicated relationship with an older man.

I Was In A Harem

January 12th, 2021

1:03:07

Sex, chores, and pranks. A young woman talks to Geth about her experience dating and living with one guy at the same time as several other women.

Dad Died By Euthanasia

January 5th, 2021

1:06:27

A daughter explains why she supported her father's decision to die by legalized euthanasia. She also opens up to Geth about finding her birth parents and her final wishes for when her time comes.

Beautiful Resolutions for 2021

December 29th, 2020

1:21:13

1 minute, no names, no holds barred. Geth takes 1 minute New Year's resolutions for 2021. Starting a garden, coming out to the family, making the …

Mrs. Claus Uncensored

December 22nd, 2020

1:05:37

A real-life bride of Santa tells Geth all the nitty gritty details, both naughty and nice.

Chicano and Trans

December 15th, 2020

1:05:27

A trans teen explores their Mexican roots, sharing what they've learned about Mexican folk healing. They also discuss coming out as trans to their …

Another 39 Year Old Grandma

December 8th, 2020

1:05:34

A recently retired real estate agent chats with Geth about what it's been like teaching her grandson at home and taking care of her dying mother. She also opens up about being a former drug addict and her views on …

My Friend Murdered Someone

December 1st, 2020

1:05:29

A woman learns from local news reports that her friend recently murdered someone. She discusses her relationship with him leading up to the murder.

A Pirate's Life

November 24th, 2020

1:04:59

Ahoy, matey! Geth talks to (and sings sea shanties with) a real life present day pirate.

Everyone Is A Survivor (Tanya from Motor City Mayhem)

November 17th, 2020

1:03:50

Geth chats one on one with Tanya from Motor City Mayhem (episode 187) about the aftermath of the home invasion that left his father dead and brother unable to speak. They discuss coping with ongoing grief, with some …

Beautiful Follow-Ups: Goosey Bumpies (#187 Motor City Mayhem)

November 13th, 2020

1:13:47

Geth catches up with the Motor City Mayhem guys and sees if they've calmed down. He chats with them all together and then one on one to see how …

My Husband Cheated With My Best Friend

November 10th, 2020

1:06:32

Religious cults, vehicular manslaughter, and an extra marital affair. This caller has a lot to get off her chest. She also opens up to Geth about the …

Groundhog Day

November 3rd, 2020

1:05:45

Distract yourself from election forecasting with the original forecasters. A caller introduces Geth to the world of Groundhog Day predictors including Clucksatony Hen and Buck Eyed Chuck.

Campaign Staffer

October 27th, 2020

1:07:10

This congressional campaign staffer is passionate about Democratic politics and trying to help elect Joe Biden. He talks with Geth about punks …

Get Out (Of The Closet)

October 20th, 2020

1:01:14

A caller opens up to Chris about the struggle to get his black, religious family to accept his same sex, interracial relationship. He also discusses the similarities between ‘Get Out’ and his relationship with his …

Ending A Parade of Tragedies

October 13th, 2020

1:04:51

A parade of tragedies, including being sued by her drug addicted mom, defined this caller's early life. After ending codependencies and working to remove herself from chaos, good things started happening to this …

315 Days Without Opiates

October 6th, 2020

1:05:00

An opioid addict in recovery says the drug turned him into the greatest liar in the world. He talks about staying sober, and he and Geth joke about …

Fell In Love With A Hobo

September 29th, 2020

1:02:26

A young woman visiting her ex in Berlin opens up to Geth about her relationship with a train hopping hobo. She also reveals how a customer service job led to a surprising diagnosis.

The Orgy Dome

September 22nd, 2020

1:04:21

A Burning Man aficionado has a bone to pick with Geth about comments he made regarding the annual event. They get into what goes on at Burning Man and yes, "The Orgy Dome" is exactly what it sounds like.

My Parents Were Psychics

September 15th, 2020

1:05:40

A spanko & emotional nudist tells Geth about being exorcised by her psychic parents and fleeing a commune after one of the members tried to murder her mother.

My Dead Ex Is My Sperm Donor

September 8th, 2020

1:05:14

This caller and her girlfriend are trying to have a baby via IVF in a very unusual way. She tells Geth about the many outcomes that the process could …

Syrian Refugee

September 1st, 2020

1:06:30

Her childhood was lost to the brutal civil war in her home country. Now, recently graduated from high school, she tells Geth about fleeing to the …

A Special Ed Teacher with Autism

August 25th, 2020

1:11:47

A teacher opens up to Chris about how working with autistic children made her seek out her own diagnosis. She also dispels myths about the autism spectrum.

Rescue Mission To America

August 18th, 2020

1:07:52

An Australian woman tells the story of rescuing her daughter from an abusive relationship in the U.S., the resulting legal fight, and ultimately …

Caught My Husband With A Sex Worker

August 11th, 2020

1:07:14

A divorcée shares details from the ledger of the 35 men she's dated since her marriage ended and some of them are wild. From hitting on someone else during a date to commitment issues, welcome to the "The Gong Show" …

Math Guy vs. Geth

August 4th, 2020

1:07:58

A doctor of mathematics has a bone to pick with Chris about his dislike of the subject. They get into what schools could be doing differently to …

Protesting Magician In Portland

July 28th, 2020

1:09:45

A magician explains why she doesn’t like other magicians and describes what it’s been like attending protests in Portland. She and Chris also unpack her first crush as a kid: Encyclopedia Brown.

A Posh Perspective

July 21st, 2020

1:05:26

A young British woman opens up her experiences with racism in England and provides her perspective on the legacy of colonialism. Also: saving Prince …

Asexual Ex-Conservative Lunchlady

July 14th, 2020

1:07:30

A lunchlady and former conservative tells Geth about how having a miscarriage changed her political views and led to a deeper understanding of her …

Introducing California Love

July 9th, 2020

39:56

Hello Beautiful/Anonymous fans! Enjoy this episode of a new show from LAist studios, California Love. The show seeks to understand what it means to …

Stalked By My Ex

July 7th, 2020

1:08:08

A former engineer opens up to Geth about being stalked by her ex-boyfriend and why she decided to become a teacher. She reveals the difficulties of …

Mexican American Iowan

June 30th, 2020

1:07:15

A recent high school graduate grapples with her dream of becoming a journalist and taking care of her brothers. She and Geth also discuss growing up …

A Bar Star Comes Out, Again

June 23rd, 2020

1:00:02

Gay conversion therapy, a failed marriage and finally coming out. A caller tells Geth about his religious upbringing and finding happiness later in life.

Romantic Wrestler

June 16th, 2020

1:04:42

An indie pro wrestler tells Geth about going through a break up during the COVID crisis, proving that guys in the ring need love too.

A Black Woman in America

June 9th, 2020

1:15:02

A caller navigates life as a black woman in America during a historic week of BLM protests. She and Geth also talk about microaggressions, the problem with "all lives matter," and her mother’s death.

Touching Strangers Faces

May 26th, 2020

1:02:04

Going back to work amidst the pandemic is stressful for this cat-owning cosmetologist. She tells Geth her strategies to manage anxiety and gives him …

Quitting Weed

May 19th, 2020

1:05:38

An all-day-everyday weed smoker considers quitting due to health issues (involving *enormous burps*). She tells Geth what it’s been like starting a …

Native Alaskan in Anchorage

May 12th, 2020

1:06:43

A Native Alaskan talks about life after thyroid cancer and fills Geth in on the music scene in Alaska. You'll never guess what happened when Pitbull …

Quarantine Breakup

May 5th, 2020

1:05:23

A trans man talks about what it's like living with his gf post breakup and still sleeping in the same bed. He and Geth discuss masculinity.

Parkour Yoda

April 28th, 2020

1:06:02

Physically conquering mental limitations is the ethos of Parkour according to this young psychology student. What really *is* parkour? Don't trust …

EMT In The Epicenter

April 21st, 2020

1:06:31

The emergency calls are at an all time high but she says "the darkness makes the light seem brighter". Geth helps lighten the mood by talking about the haunted spots in her Long Island hometown and they bond over their …

My Partner is a Medical Mystery

April 14th, 2020

1:07:12

A young woman describes working as a nanny during quarantine with a toddler while having a sick partner in need of a transplant. She also opens up about almost being kidnapped and what she's looking forward to once …

Don't Say The C Word

April 10th, 2020

2:29:13

Geth did something a little different. 75 phones calls, 2.5 hours. No names. No mention of Coronavirus. Chris talks to new dads, a lady with a fish named Slim Shady, someone with extensive knowledge of Harry Truman, a …

How To Date A Sketch Comedian

April 7th, 2020

1:01:45

Stuck at home under lockdown with her parents, an art student calls in and talks to Gethard about how coronavirus has affected their lives so far. Geth gives advice on dating a sketch comedian and she opens up about her …

Union Worker vs. Robot Dog Uprising

March 31st, 2020

1:02:45

Fired from his union position, this guy turned to gig economy jobs in the midst of coronavirus. Things are serious right now, but Geth still gets a chance to find out if he ever steals a jalapeno popper and they muse …

London Is Savage (in Quarantine)

March 24th, 2020

1:05:22

An Englishwoman is passing the time while self-isolating with a dry cough. She and Chris discuss Coronavirus in England and what it's like growing up …

Love In The Time Of Coronavirus

March 17th, 2020

1:08:38

An American living in China describes what it was like living with his other half's entire family for 3 weeks during the Coronavirus. He also shares the surprisingly romantic story of meeting his wife.

My Girlfriend Cheated, I Got A Dog

March 10th, 2020

1:12:32

An extremely optimistic guy calls in to talk about how he got over his cheating ex by getting a dog, living in a tiny house, hopping freight trains and more. Plus, Chris shares what he’s learned on the cusp of turning …

I'm The Best Lyft Driver

March 3rd, 2020

1:08:28

A former teen mom found happiness after a car wreck by becoming a Lyft driver. She also reveals a surprising connection to Chris.

Hit By A Truck

February 25th, 2020

1:05:47

Getting hit by a semi truck at work was only the beginning of this guy’s problems. With his future in doubt, he decided to buy his very own 10 acres.

Phone Call Hole In One

February 18th, 2020

1:05:45

Does having an identical twin make you more competitive? This young, female athlete tells Geth about focusing her competitive twin energy into golf, …

An Octopus Living in Baltimore

February 11th, 2020

1:04:32

A Baltimorean waxes nostalgic about his hometown and talks about his near fatal encounter with a freight elevator. Things take an interesting turn …

Dry Eyes But 2020 Vision

February 4th, 2020

1:05:28

A Gen Z-er (or zoomer!) unpacks the complexities of being mixed race, her mom's secret pill business, why bird spit is a delicacy, and what it's like growing up in the age of climate change.

This episode is brought to …

200.5 Bonus: Two Hundred Things I've Learned From Beautiful/Anonymous

January 31st, 2020

37:58

In celebration of the 200th episode, Chris shares 200 lessons he’s learned from Beautiful/Anonymous, ranging from heartbreaking to hilarious.

Citizen Of The World

January 28th, 2020

1:08:42

A guy from the Deep South tells Chris some wild travel stories, and about the time he got hit by a car inside of a Waffle House.

This episode is brought to you by Teladoc (www.teladoc.com/stories) and Ritual (

Bigot Chicken

January 21st, 2020

1:07:30

In the drive thru line to get some fast food chicken, this caller tells Geth about dealing with the aftermath of her husband’s psychotic break.

This episode is brought to you by Teladoc (www.teladoc.com/stories).

Punky Brewster Saves The World

January 14th, 2020

1:05:07

A caller in London talks to Geth about British & European politics, noting that there might be a problem with political parties founded by …

Kinda Famous Secret Half Brother

January 7th, 2020

1:04:46

This caller found out later in life that her dad isn’t her biological father. The story involves Gethard in a way you would never expect.

This …

Beautiful Resolutions for 2020

December 31st, 2019

1:06:09

Listeners (including a surprising number of aspiring novelists) called in for a series of brief one minute calls to tell Geth their goals, hopes and plans for 2020.

This episode is brought to you by Joybird.

Dredging It Up Again

December 24th, 2019

1:05:07

Years ago, this caller dropped their phone while on the line with Chris and the call was lost forever. They finally re-connect and discuss passing …

You Can Go Back To Your Seat Now, Thanks

December 17th, 2019

1:05:42

“It takes a toll on you quickly.” On her 22nd birthday, a former model who became a flight attendant talks to Gethard about her old career (scouted …

Philosopher Chef

December 10th, 2019

1:04:20

Cocaine in kitchens, the widespread impact of a South Park episode on Yelp and review culture. A chef brings Geth behind the scenes of restaurant …

I Did Poopy & I Know Calculus

December 3rd, 2019

1:09:15

What’s it like to be a public school teacher today? Gethard finds out from a fellow New Jerseyite.

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (

Foster To Adopt

November 26th, 2019

1:06:26

A parent talks about her family’s journey with foster care, adoption & a really long walk in Spain.

This episode is brought to you by Aura Frames (www.auraframes.com/stories), Native Deodorant (

Chill (with Justifiable Rage)

November 19th, 2019

1:05:52

In her work as a community organizer, this caller loves listening to other people’s stories and asking tough questions. She tells her story and it …

Polyamorous Group Real Estate

November 12th, 2019

1:05:13

A caller is trying to get a mortgage to buy a duplex with a big group of polyamorous friends and family in Southern Maine.

This episode is brought …

Aspiring Pro Wrestler

November 5th, 2019

1:07:20

Geth loves pro wrestling. This caller does too, and so much that he’s trying to make it in that world.

This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen …

Motor City Mayhem (Murdered Dads)

October 29th, 2019

1:07:24

Strip clubs, pickles and dad’s getting murdered, that’s what these bros bond over. In one of the most chaotic episodes ever, two callers are on the phone thousands of miles away while their buddy joins Gethard on stage …

I Love You, Dad

October 15th, 2019

1:07:27

On the first anniversary of her dad passing away, this week’s caller spoke to Gethard about how cool her dad was and how her family grieved the loss. …

Traffic

October 8th, 2019

1:06:52

Working at a residential program to help girls who have been trafficked or are at high risk, a caller tells Geth about how her job is the best thing that’s ever happened to her.



This episode is brought to you by …

Bad Luck Johnny

October 1st, 2019

1:05:29

This guy has had some really bad luck lately but he’s handling it as best as he can. Plus: epic dad stories involving: the mafia, drug busts & …

The Raccoon Roommate

September 24th, 2019

1:07:54

An illegal (rescued) pet raccoon who eats cap’n crunch out of a shoe, Al-Anon, society, sex, working through trauma.


This episode is brought to you …

Piles of Walking Goop

September 17th, 2019

1:06:57

This young Scottish caller has a checklist of things to discuss, including the question: Are Scottish people comfortable with depressing comedy because it rains a lot or are they just born a bit sad?


This episode is …

Jammers vs. Blockers

September 10th, 2019

1:07:38

Things just kinda suck at this point in life, but this caller found sanctuary in roller derby.


This episode is brought to you by Fruit of the Loom (

The Size of a Cantaloupe

September 3rd, 2019

1:03:15

This caller gives listeners a PSA: go to the doctor! She's managed to maintain an inspiringly positive disposition even after what she thought was just bloating turned out to be something much more serious.


This episode …

Partner In Prison

August 27th, 2019

1:04:47

Some addictions don’t get discussed that often. A caller talks about sex and love addicts anonymous and discusses the need to save oneself before trying to save the world.


This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (

A True (Modern) Love Story

August 20th, 2019

1:06:34

Celebrating her first birthday with friends, family & her girlfriend after 3 years in a mental health treatment center, a caller talks to Geth about falling in love inside the facility.

This episode is brought to …

The Choctaw & Irish Connection

August 13th, 2019

1:05:22

Having lived all over the world, a member of the Choctaw Tribe talks to Geth about finding a sense of belonging when visiting home from abroad.

This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), …

Fighting Through Life

August 6th, 2019

1:06:46

Finding empowerment over past trauma through martial arts. This caller is a true badass.


This episode is brought to you by Life is Good Ping Podcast, Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL), ZipRecruiter (

The Squirrel and the Giraffe

July 30th, 2019

1:06:59

Hearing other people talk about themselves makes this caller uncomfortable. "It makes me cringe," he says, "being on the show is a terrible idea." Will this be Chris' second-ever hang up, or will the caller stay on the …

I Found Closure

July 23rd, 2019

1:06:50

A caller opens up about a stigmatized condition and tells Geth about finding closure to a chapter of her life after hearing an old friend on …

Babysitting (Drunk People)

July 16th, 2019

1:14:37

A bartender tells wild stories (murder!), how to get free stuff (drinks and rides home). Also, the found family & new home she’s established with …

I’ve Never Told Anyone

July 9th, 2019

1:09:52

A college student home for the summer, sitting on a living room floor with dog on lap, talks to Geth about an eating disorder that started in high …

No Guide Book to Grief

July 2nd, 2019

1:06:21

Planning a posh goth Halloween wedding, taking care of a 3 legged cat and processing grief after the death of a family member who had been hiding big secrets, this British caller prompts Geth to try bring the words …

The Raccoon Incident

June 25th, 2019

1:05:54

An online slang dictionary editor and vicious rabid animal attack survivor who had too much cold brew and ritalin talks to Geth about dealing with …

Clinical Psychologist

June 18th, 2019

1:07:41

A psychologist talks about the emotional toll of tough conversations, selflessness vs. selfishness & Geth asks: have you ever had to step out mid …

Go With The Flow

June 11th, 2019

1:08:37

Geth gets a peek into the chaotic life of a stay at home dad with 3 kids, a 4th on the way, and a daughter in the hospital.


This episode is brought to you by The Life is Good Ping Podcast, Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com

The Ultimate Bad Roommate Story

June 4th, 2019

1:12:48

Recently declared PTSD free, a caller is interrupted by a cute little mouse while telling Geth about being emotionally and psychologically …

Life Is Weird

May 28th, 2019

1:11:47

A caller tells Geth what it’s like to be a young, single, punk rock mom.

This episode is brought to you by Airbnb Experiences (www.airbnb.com/experiences), The Skimm (www.theskimm.com/STORIES), and ZipRecruiter (

The Cuckoo’s Nest

May 21st, 2019

1:12:36

Suffering from a physical injury from working too much & too hard, this week’s caller takes a break from building sets to get Geth excited about theme restaurants (Mars 2112, Jekyll & Hyde...Medieval Times!).

More Alike Than Different

May 14th, 2019

1:13:44

You don’t want to mess with a punk rock mom! Geth talks to a proud mother about how lucky she is to have a very unique daughter.

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Aura …

The Adventures of Glandon Oakfoot

May 10th, 2019

1:02:56

You don’t really know someone’s complex, warped brain until they’ve been your Dungeon Master. For this bonus episode, a caller with lots of D.M. experience guides Glandon Oakfoot, Jomar Salveston and Tyrone The Terrible …

A Hero's Journey

May 7th, 2019

1:12:29

A screaming cat with a rubber band around it’s head, Dungeons & Dragons, and an emergency suicide intervention road trip. This caller hasn’t slept in days because she recently leapt in her car to go help someone …

Sky Full of Ghosts

April 30th, 2019

1:25:11

A past caller who’s made strides in living with grief, learning to tell her story and finding a path of acceptance catches up with Gethard in studio …

Kaleidoscope of Danger

April 23rd, 2019

1:11:20

Calling from a country described as filled with cognitive dissonance and very passionate people, this caller provides Geth a powerful portrait of her …

Called Once, Listened Never

April 16th, 2019

1:12:52

A guy who has never even listened to this podcast talks to Gethard about a bunch of stuff for an hour.


This episode is brought to you by Vrbo, Joybird (www.joybird.com/BEAUTIFUL), Aura Frames, Talkspace (www.talkspace.com

Broke In The USA

April 9th, 2019

1:11:07

Living in New Jersey and hating it, the gig economy and trying to get by being broke in the USA are on this caller’s mind.


This episode is brought to you by Vrbo and Bombas.

Porn, Drugs, Murder & Learning To Love

April 2nd, 2019

1:12:04

Kidnapping, murder, sex, cocaine, ketamine and porn. This caller’s family is at the center of a true crime story. She tells Geth about how she’s suffered on her journey to learn how to be loving.


This episode is brought …

Episode 1: Harry’s Aussie Best Friend

April 1st, 2019

1:06:59

New host Harry Nelson takes his first of many successful calls. He gets a caller from Australia on the line and talks about America, but also the …

Hold My Caipirinha

March 26th, 2019

1:13:52

Gethard heard he has a cult following in Brazil, so this week the line was open to Brazilian numbers only. Immigration issues, education and social …

Jetmouth

March 19th, 2019

1:12:07

While smoking a bowl in his garage, a stay at home dad talks to Gethard about parenting. They share stories about protective dad instincts and recognizing mistakes.



This episode is brought to you by Neou Fitness (

My Dad Owns A Strip Club

March 12th, 2019

1:07:23

A few years ago, this caller took a job working at her dad’s strip club. There were duffel bags full of cash and other shady stuff. She thought …

Car Crash

March 5th, 2019

1:09:42

Years later, this caller still hears the sounds of the tragic car accident he survived. He tells Geth how he won’t let the trauma of the crash revive the anxiety he overcame in his younger days. They also talk about an …

Love At First [blank]

February 26th, 2019

1:09:34

A blind caller tells Geth his touching internet-era love story & explains why he considers himself a visual learner.


This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (

The King of Silver Linings

February 19th, 2019

1:12:58

A stress-free 34 year old who loves what he does for a living has to decide what to eat for lunch.


This episode is brought to you by Stamps.com (

Meta Millennial

February 12th, 2019

1:12:35

A social media manager slash graphic designer pitches her podcast & gives Gethard instagram advice.


This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon, …

RINO

February 5th, 2019

1:10:49

Raised by liberals, after becoming a mom as a teenager, this caller’s politics shifted. Some would now call her a “Republican in name only” or a …

In Loving Arms

January 29th, 2019

1:07:51

This episode includes: a double-headed red dildo, binders full of sperm, epilepsy, addiction & rehab. But most importantly, it’s about an …

Crying Into My Boba

January 22nd, 2019

1:11:22

Too many edibles. A missing sister. Paranoia. Depersonalization & derealization. This week’s caller had a tough 2018, but with therapy and treatment, she’s conquering one thing at a time.


This episode is brought to …

American Ex-Pat & Berlin Go-Between

January 15th, 2019

1:11:05

A caller in Berlin connects Geth with someone in Finland who happens to be from Oklahoma. Should Geth move to Finland? An American ex-pat helps Geth …

My First Job Interview Ever

January 8th, 2019

1:08:04

In 90 minutes, a graphic design student will have her first-ever job interview. Luckily, Gethard is on the phone to help her get calmed down and psyched up.

Beautiful Follow-Ups: Love Goes On (#69 - Love Is Everywhere)

January 3rd, 2019

1:13:23

In June 2017, a mother of 5 spent an hour talking to Chris while in a waiting room, about to hear life or death test results from her daughter’s …

144.5 Bonus: Beautiful Resolutions for 2019

January 1st, 2019

1:09:05

It’s time for the annual Beautiful Anonymous New Year’s resolutions episode. Listeners (and a couple special guests) called in for a series of brief …

Queer Feminist Pagan Yuletide

December 25th, 2018

1:13:35

Coming out of the closet to her family was this caller’s New Year’s resolution for 2018. As the year comes to close, she tells Geth whether she …

28-Year-Old College Student

December 18th, 2018

1:12:24

A real-life Frank The Tank living with hard-partying 18-21 year old college kids is studying geosciences with the goal of one day improving global …

A Bridge Between Humans

December 11th, 2018

1:13:26

Raised in Japan, this week’s guest moved to Canada because of the freedom and culture of openness. Hardly able to speak the language, she now works a …

Gay Mormon

December 4th, 2018

1:13:08

Imagine if your mom found out you were getting married because she saw your wedding on the TV news. He called in to point out an issue with episode 14 (that’s 127 episodes ago!) but also tells Geth about growing up …

I Lost 150 Pounds

November 27th, 2018

1:12:45

What is it like to transform from very large to marathon runner very quickly? A polite but engaged audience in Toronto helps Geth out with some …

Basement Infidelity

November 20th, 2018

1:12:59

A cheating husband, drugs, stalkers, liars and flipping houses. This week’s caller is at a critical juncture in her life and is a little unclear on where the truth lies.


This episode is brought to you by This Is Love …

House Burned Down

November 13th, 2018

1:10:20

Her home is engulfed in flames. She brings the geckos, kittens & dogs to safety and checks on the donkeys, mules, chickens and horses to make …

Color of Sunshine, Color of Moonlight

November 6th, 2018

1:11:46

Days after the 2016 election, a mother of three was nervous about how the outcome of the election would impact her children and left an emotional …

Wilderness Rehabilitation

October 30th, 2018

1:09:14

On an eight hour solo road trip, a wilderness therapy guide takes a break from dreaming of the woods and insects to chat with Gethard. He’s a …

Vanity & Sanity

October 23rd, 2018

1:03:58

What is beauty? Maybe the answer is unknowable. For this week’s caller, searching for the answer to that question has been the source of a lot of emotions: anger, depression, anxiety, jealousy and sometimes happiness.


Upward Slide of Happiness

October 16th, 2018

1:12:37

Sitting on a bench in a quintessentially British location, near Queen Mary’s Rose Garden in London, a young Brit opens up with Gethard in a way he …

Nap Time

October 9th, 2018

1:10:22

“Day care is wild though, let me tell ya!” It’s time to put down a bunch of one-year-olds for a nap and talk with Geth. Married young and facing a …

I Survived A Mass Shooting

October 1st, 2018

1:11:13

A mass shooting survivor talks to Gethard about the love, positivity and beauty she has experienced in the year since the real-life nightmare she lived through in Las Vegas.


This episode is brought to you by Merge …

What’s It Like To Be A Man Today?

September 25th, 2018

1:12:35

A European nomad with 30% battery and a very full bladder is riding a ‘lift’ in the Parisian Metro as she chats with Geth (and a live audience in …

My Year of Sexploration

September 18th, 2018

1:12:45

Last time this caller got through she talked about being a marching band teacher. She got through again. This time she gets very detailed about a year of pushing and exploring boundaries.

This episode is brought to you …

Not Afraid of Life

September 11th, 2018

1:11:41

A hard-working mom balancing multiple jobs and school has an inspiring approach to life. Geth tries to find out what it’s like when her Cuban side …

Nervous Interrupter (Let's All F***)

September 4th, 2018

1:17:42

A merch guy tells Geth about sexual experimentation on the road and coming to terms with his desires.


This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com

40 Lbs of Cat

August 28th, 2018

1:11:38

Is Facebook evil? Can the internet become a more humane and civil place? Beautiful Anonymous’s first official cat lady has a suggestion: A Sorry …

A Saudi Student in Canada

August 21st, 2018

1:18:12

A woman studying neurobiology in Toronto talks about her experience overcoming the cultural differences between Saudi Arabia, Canada & America. …

Major Postal Bitch

August 14th, 2018

1:12:08

Drugs, rampages, the postal system. This call has it all. Buckle up and enjoy.


This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful

Goose, Not Maverick

August 7th, 2018

1:17:50

Herding fighter pilots like cats, taking “go pills” to stay focused for long flights, imposter syndrome, “don’t ask, don’t tell.” These are just some of the unique things this active-duty service member has experienced …

Hanukkah With Fidel

July 31st, 2018

1:19:46

A Cuban refugee met up with Chris in a New York City park. The realities of Jewish life in Cuba, seeing snow for the first time, and falling in love are discussed as flying garbage and passing loud New Yorkers …

Northern Ireland

July 24th, 2018

1:15:30

Northern Ireland: come for the apple orchards and beautiful cathedrals, not the disaster tourism. Born to a Catholic mother and Protestant father, …

Prison Bound

July 16th, 2018

1:14:33

In a few days, this caller will turn herself over to federal authorities and begin a multi-year prison sentence. She tells Geth about how she ended …

Out Of The Closet

July 10th, 2018

1:17:20

A young man who has never told anyone about his sexuality finally does. He and Geth talk online relationships, coming out in conservative parts of …

39-Year-Old Grandma

July 2nd, 2018

1:14:56

A young grandmother with a family tree that involves some unusually complicated math talks with Gethard about rolling with the punches and rising …

I Cry On The Toilet

June 26th, 2018

1:13:58

We live in a world that can be harsh, brutal and unfair. This week’s caller drives around and personally helps kids and parents in difficult …

Smoking Weed in Christiania

June 19th, 2018

1:13:23

Freetown Christiania is an area in Copenhagen where there are no laws and anarchy rules. This week’s caller is walking there to smoke weed with …

She Killed My Father

June 12th, 2018

1:09:40

Just ten years ago, transgender was a new word for many people, including this caller. When a close family member transitioned, it was a complex and …

The Chillionaire

June 5th, 2018

1:11:02

A goblin fiction ghost writer and artist at heart has an identity crisis after inheriting a million dollars from a distant uncle.

This episode is …

Charity Laundry

May 29th, 2018

1:13:16

Raised in a troubled home, with parents who lived a transient lifestyle and a father who eventually ended up in prison, this week’s caller was able to rise above his circumstances and now works to give back to the …

Irish Wake

May 22nd, 2018

1:14:56

This week’s caller tells Chris about the very close relationship she had with her recently passed grandmother. Gethard cheers her up with funny stories and by doing his best Freddie Mercury impression.



This episode is …

Quiet Rage

May 15th, 2018

1:11:22

How do you become successful in comedy? How do you know when you’ve made it? In a return to form for Beautiful Anonymous, Gethard chats with an …

Death Row Lawyer

May 8th, 2018

1:12:24

Growing up in Northern England, this week’s caller became unlikely pen pals with a death row inmate in the American South. That experience, along with an unusual proximity to murder that she describes as a “family …

Virtual Dominatrix

May 1st, 2018

1:13:47

A political science student and self-described ‘Robin Hood of sugar babies’ talks with Geth about the significant emotional labor that goes into …

If They Say No, They Mean No

April 24th, 2018

1:12:40

A young man describes three difficult experiences of being sexually assaulted and overcoming drug addiction. It's a raw, honest conversation that is …

Road Dogs

April 17th, 2018

1:13:42

Driving 10-12 hours a day buying and selling machinery can lead to challenges like finding a good gym and getting sufficient protein while avoiding fast food. Gethard has a fun chat with two dudes on a long road trip …

It’s Quiet Time

April 10th, 2018

1:15:11

A mother of two talks about her youthful past as a wandering actor and the choices she made to change her life. Geth asks a question in this call …

Tasmanian Sex Ed Circus Performer

April 3rd, 2018

1:12:14

An aerialist turned sex education teacher from Australia chats with Gethard about her life on the road, falling in love and the challenge of …

Honne and Tatemae

March 27th, 2018

1:11:37

Stuck between two cultures, a punk rocker calls in from the other side of the world to chat about finding his identity, navigating his country’s …

The Whirlpool Galaxy

March 20th, 2018

1:16:51

Coping with tremendous grief from a recent tragedy, an astrophysics researcher talks to Geth about black holes, extraterrestrial life and the fate of …

Brady Bunch Wedding / Ron Paul’s Baby Returns

March 13th, 2018

1:25:31

A juicy family history, a fast approaching wedding and upcoming gallbladder surgery are on the caller’s mind this week and Gethard helps her work through it all. After the call, stay tuned for a 2-year anniversary …

Dealer Turned Surgeon

March 6th, 2018

1:15:10

How did this self-described East Coast dirtbag go from selling drugs out of his mom’s minivan to doing brain surgery? His answer: Donnie Darko. Gethard asks him some hard hitting questions like: What skills acquired in …

English Idyll

February 27th, 2018

1:14:08

Ever heard of "granary bread?" Yeah? Then you’re probably British, like this week’s caller. If not, then get out your malted barley and listen to …

One Hundred Anonymous

February 20th, 2018

1:12:24

With a combined 200 years of life lived, a retired dentist and an amateur artist chat with Gethard about staying creative as you get older, living a …

Sober Mathematician

February 13th, 2018

1:12:57

Longtime listeners know: math is Chris Gethard's nemesis. A real-life mathematician calls in and gives Gethard the most thrilling math quiz ever on a podcast. (We feel safe making that claim.) He also talks about his …

Chemo Chameleon

February 6th, 2018

1:16:40

Headed to her first chemotherapy treatment after a recent cancer diagnosis, this young woman is naturally a little stressed and nervous. However, spirits are soon lifted in a call that includes stories of haunted …

In The Candy Aisle

January 30th, 2018

1:10:03

A man narrates his stroll though a Wal-Mart. As he peruses the aisles, from guns to kitchen appliances, the discussion ranges from philosophical to …

Boy Crazy

January 23rd, 2018

1:11:30

She does improv, lives in New Jersey and considers herself a "niche person." Needless to say, this week’s caller bonds pretty easily with Gethard. …

Monogamous Animals

January 16th, 2018

1:16:30

"If anybody has seen hell, it would be me.” What starts as an immigrant success story ends up weaving through prostitution, revenge, tragedy, …

The Puppet Master

January 9th, 2018

1:14:24

An art school grad talks about his success working in an emerging technological art form. Then, out of nowhere, something happens in this call that …

Bonus: Beautiful Resolutions

January 2nd, 2018

34:31

Beautiful Anonymous fans called in for a series of brief one minute calls to tell Chris their goals, hopes and plans for 2018.

Successful Stalker

December 26th, 2017

1:14:59

Can stalking your crush lead to a successful long-term relationship? A young woman tells Gethard about her years-long pursuit.



This episode is brought …

Wisdom From The Bushman

December 19th, 2017

1:15:35

Unsure of her future, a young German woman finds herself in Australia picking cherries with a group of ex-cons & social outcasts. She passes the phone to a fellow picker and mentor of sorts who opens up about …

Picture A Sunset

December 12th, 2017

1:15:48

The unusual malady that afflicts this caller stirs up a philosophical discussion about how we, as humans, experience and remember our lives and craft our stories.


This episode is brought to you by Sock Club, Squarespace, …

Hipster Hospice Chaplain

December 5th, 2017

1:15:00

Gethard has a surprisingly light-hearted chat about death with an expert in the field.


This episode is brought to you by Zelle, Talkspace, Hello Fresh, Sock Club, and Brooklinen.

Black Cloud of a Husband

November 28th, 2017

1:13:09

A mother of four tells Gethard about going from med school to motherhood, and how she escaped a troubled marriage with a controlling, manipulative …

Cadaver Epiphany

November 21st, 2017

1:13:16

A first year medical student tells Gethard how dissecting dead bodies changed her feelings on death. She opens up about how her mother inspired her to study medicine and some of the worst smells she’s encountered, like …

Head Injury

November 14th, 2017

1:13:58

A guy got hit really hard in the head. He tells Gethard all about it.



This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), …

Plant Splooge

November 7th, 2017

1:12:07

A bonafide geologist tells Geth about fossilized dung fungi and the behind the scenes secrets of the Museum of Natural History. They also talk about …

Moravian Trademonk

October 31st, 2017

1:11:39

“You can’t give puppies cow vaccines.” That’s how this caller ends her hour with Gethard. The journey to that moment takes us through: Italian Madrigals, getting licked by a baby cow, going on a tour of a cranberry …

A True Crime Investigator

October 24th, 2017

1:13:48

Usually this caller is the one conducting the interview. He’s a police officer by trade, but he works a little differently than your average cop. He …

The Relaxed Satanist

October 17th, 2017

1:10:05

Gethard has a meandering chit chat with a photographer and former photo developer who details the unusual things people put on film, like nazi …

Sex Toys and Bourbon

October 10th, 2017

1:14:52

A nice midwestern girl moved to LA. While fixing herself a drink, she tells Gethard tales of porn, vomit, hair extensions and an elopement.



This episode is brought to you by Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), …

Rabbits and Catholics

October 3rd, 2017

1:10:55

Recently engaged to a deeply Catholic man, this week’s caller asks Gethard for some guidance. Also in this week’s call: weird stuff at cybernetic …

Hiding In A Storage Space

September 26th, 2017

1:12:36

Today's caller is a dad with two sons who just dropped his 5 year old off for his first day of Kindergarten and he and his wife have their first …

Civil War Survivor

September 19th, 2017

1:14:38

Today’s caller was injured by grenade shrapnel as a young child and brought to the U.S. by her mother to receive medical treatment. She tells Chris about her family’s experience living through an extended civil war and …

Bloomin' Love

September 12th, 2017

1:11:34

Santería, possible mafia connections and digestive troubles are a part of this week’s caller’s complicated family history. Calling from a Dunkin’ Donuts bathroom, this rambunctious fun-loving bartender tells Chris …

Coming Out with Katie Couric

September 5th, 2017

1:16:35

Iconic journalist Katie Couric joins Gethard as guest co-host. They chat with a college student in an early stage of major life changes. The caller …

A Big Hole

August 29th, 2017

1:11:15

Eight months pregnant and she loves messing with people, this week’s caller is celebrating her birthday on Beautiful Anonymous. She tells Gethard …

Charlottesville

August 22nd, 2017

1:15:32

An African American military vet living in Charlottesville discusses the recent protests in his town. He tells Chris about confronting KKK rallies and how to deal with white supremacists. He’s also playing Mario Kart …

Holy Moly

August 15th, 2017

1:11:41

Having dealt with mental health issues and an eating disorder this caller now helps others confront those problems. She tells Chris about the repercussions of coming out in a small town, and the two discuss their …

Homeschooled Bigfoot Hunter

August 8th, 2017

1:13:35

Sasquatch. Bigfoot. Skunk-Ape. Yeti. Whatever you want to call it, this week's caller is on the hunt. A homeschooled paranormal enthusiast, he tells …

Aussie Best Friend

August 1st, 2017

1:11:36

An Aussie opens up about his family’s history which includes tales of drug dealing, substance abuse, mental illness, sex addiction and trying to find God in a hot yoga studio. Something really special clicks between …

American Studies

July 25th, 2017

1:14:29

What college major could possibly involve writing an academic paper comparing the 1968 film “The Parent Trap” with the 1998 remake starring Lindsay …

Tattoo Parlor

July 18th, 2017

1:14:49

Calling in from a tattoo parlor, this week’s caller is getting inked up to commemorate a grim experience. Some wild tattoo stories are told as the …

Love Is Everywhere

July 11th, 2017

1:13:04

A mother calls in from a children’s hospital while waiting for her daughter's test results. Gethard & the caller shed some tears while discussing …

Married The Day We Met

July 4th, 2017

1:14:21

Gethard chats with a Soprano. As in the highest of the four singing voices in Opera, not a character from a popular HBO show. The caller speaks about …

Country AF

June 27th, 2017

1:18:12

On her lunch break, today’s caller engages in some light hearted chit chat about office gossip and her (sometimes frustrating) side gig as a wedding …

Sex Drugs and Retail

June 20th, 2017

1:13:52

Ever wonder what it's like to be paid to secretly watch shoppers on camera? This week's caller works in the retail field of "loss prevention." He tells Gethard about the time he confronted a shoplifter and got punched …

Deaf

June 13th, 2017

1:17:34

This week's caller is a somewhat unconventional podcast fan. He loves Beautiful/Anonymous even though he's never technically heard an episode. Hmmm. …

Mother Moon (Live in Portland, Oregon)

June 6th, 2017

1:04:57

A poet-to-be calls in to the Beautiful Anonymous live tour. She and Gethard get off to a slow start. That might work in the studio, but the live …

Singer Who Won't Sing

May 30th, 2017

1:11:41

Struggling to realize her creative ambitions in early adulthood, this week’s caller confronted body image issues when younger. Gethard gives her a …

Just Like A Johnny Cash Song

May 23rd, 2017

1:06:28

Raised in a tumultuous household and married at eighteen to the pastor’s son, today’s caller was divorced before she turned twenty. Betrayal, love …

Rekindling An Old Friendship

May 16th, 2017

1:12:58

Against the odds, a caller from one of the earliest, most listened-to calls manages to get through for a second time. Unprecedented! The caller gives Gethard an update on what's happened in his life since his first call …

Public Defender

May 9th, 2017

1:13:41

Big parties with lawyers gathered around piles of cocaine. Inequality in the criminal justice system. Huge corporations ripping off the families of jailed inmates. Gethard talks to a public defender about these topics, …

First Kiss

May 2nd, 2017

1:24:41

One hour ago, in the rain, this week’s caller experienced her first kiss. She tells Gethard about the high school experience in 2017 covering the new …

Vinyl Market Researcher

April 25th, 2017

1:18:48

Should this week's caller quit his lucrative corporate job to pursue his passion? His dream is to purchase a small business but he's nervous that …

Swingers

April 17th, 2017

1:20:21

Gethard has a threesome! Okay, okay...it's just a three-way phone call, but this week's callers are a married couple who talk to Chris about their swinging lifestyle. Find out how they meet other swinger couples, what …

A Midwife Discusses Birth Schmutz

April 10th, 2017

1:20:19

Chris asks a midwife some real questions: has she ever seen someone in labor punch someone else? And, what happens to the schmutz left behind after a …

Trail Blazer

April 4th, 2017

1:22:00

It's a story like something out of a surreal American novel, with wealth and poverty intertwined. On the phone while hiking a mountain, this week’s caller tells Chris about his youth, spent experimenting with every drug …

What Not To Ask A Trans Person

March 27th, 2017

1:17:20

Assigned as a female at birth, this week's caller has been socially and medically transitioning for close to four years. He answers some of the most common questions cis people have for trans people. He also tells …

Cruise Ship Mafia

March 21st, 2017

1:12:30

After graduating from the actual (pre-Jack Black) School of Rock, playing with the likes of Peter Frampton, this week’s caller found himself …

Ron Paul's Baby Part 2

March 14th, 2017

1:15:42

For the one-year anniversary episode, Chris reunites with the very first Beautiful Anonymous caller: Ron Paul’s Baby. Find out if having his story …

Made Out With My Teacher

March 7th, 2017

1:14:19

A chance encounter at a coffee shop unearthed difficult experiences from this caller’s high school years. The troublesome nature of the call brings …

Fugitive Father

February 28th, 2017

1:15:38

Having a reformed criminal kingpin for a dad has made it difficult for this week’s caller to find his path in life. At his father’s urging, he …

Bisexual Brahmin

February 21st, 2017

1:12:12

The caste system, religion, arranged marriages and bisexuality are on the mind of this caffeinated caller. Raised in Kenya and India, educated in California and currently living on the East Coast, he opens up about …

Power Grid of Love

February 14th, 2017

1:11:49

Interested in the intricacies of how the US electrical grid functions? No? Well, you will be interested in hearing about how the caller wants to “disconnect from her ex-boyfriend’s power grid”. Love, in the language of …

Illness, Love & Dogs

February 7th, 2017

1:12:29

Today's caller is recovering from a serious illness acquired while working on peace building in East Africa. He likes to give Chris a hard time but also talks about some deep stuff, like contemplating how to maintain …

4 Kids 0 Spaghetti

January 31st, 2017

1:12:44

At a young age, he found himself a divorced father of four. Battling depression, all he wanted was to find a nice girl to take on a date for some spaghetti and meatballs. Recovering from the low point in his life, and …

Inside The Heroin Epidemic

January 24th, 2017

1:13:06

Addicted to heroin for ten years, this week’s caller got clean because she wanted to be a good mother to her new son. She tells Chris about how she …

American Daughter

January 17th, 2017

1:11:13

Raised by parents who moved from Vietnam to the United States in search of a better life, this week’s caller is her family’s first American-born child. She talks about defying stereotypes and asserting her independence …

Marching Band Teacher

January 10th, 2017

1:11:56

How horny are high school marching band kids? Is it appropriate for a boy to dye his hair in the girls bathroom? This week’s caller drank a sh**-ton …

Queer Black Punk in Appalachia

December 20th, 2016

1:17:40

Growing up as a black woman in rural Appalachia wasn't easy. She was different, and she was bullied. But punk rock saved her, and helped her form her …

Escape From A Cult

December 13th, 2016

1:12:48

Brainwashed into a religious cult. Our caller escaped 10 years ago, but she's only now starting to process the trauma: from sexual manipulation and …

Single Mom Cancer Survivor

December 6th, 2016

1:07:44

Today's caller discusses beating cancer and raising her son as a single mom. Through all of her struggles, big and small, she’s stayed relentlessly positive. Let’s just hope she doesn’t get fired for talking to Chris …

A Sister Scorned

November 29th, 2016

1:09:22

A "dolphin" personality type. Betrayal. Anger. Lunch at a buddhist temple. This week's caller has it all.This episode is brought to you by AMEX, …

Fail Army Cop

November 22nd, 2016

1:14:40

A small town police officer chats with Chris about the current state of policing in the United States. They try their best to reconcile a divisive …

5% Romantic Interest

November 15th, 2016

1:12:05

Hannibal Buress joins Chris on a call with a college freshman who is a lover of comedy struggling to find romance in his life. Should our caller …

Cuddly Pudge

November 8th, 2016

1:10:59

Adopting a child from a foreign country takes a lot of time, patience, and passion. This week’s caller has all of these things. He also has the hope that his son-to-be will have the opportunity to experience virtual …

Shakespeare On Molly

November 1st, 2016

1:12:27

Burner, fire-performer-hoola-hooper-grinder-girl, and maybe, a modern-day Shakespeare (on molly) are a few labels we could ascribe to this week's …

A Spooky Episode

October 25th, 2016

1:07:16

Just in time for Halloween, Chris and this spirited artist trade spooky stories...until they are rudely interrupted by the ghost of an angry biker. But the corporeal beings prevail, if only for the caller to give Chris …

IRL-ASMR

October 18th, 2016

1:09:25

Did someone say "brain orgasms??" Today's caller did! She gives Geth a lesson in how to whisper in just the right way to make Beaut/Anon listeners' brains tingle & feel the stress melt away. ASMR me ASAP!This …

All About Cash

October 11th, 2016

1:11:15

Dear Tom Waits, We look forward to hearing the song you write about this week's caller: falling in love with a stripper, skipping town in a blizzard, a christmas dinner in the demimonde of Boca Raton.This episode is …

10,000 Pounds

October 4th, 2016

1:10:42

London Calling! (or somewhere in England) Our caller works in the film industry, and in general she's a pretty happy person...except when her phone is being monitored by Jar Jar Binks, or when 10,000 pounds disappear. …

Shopping at the Face Depot

September 27th, 2016

1:07:46

This week's caller is a linguist who teaches Geth all about the "corpora." In case that's too nerdy for you, hang around for the story about a first date that was captured on a Coast Guard thermal camera. And if you're …

The Mom is Anonymous Too

September 20th, 2016

1:12:14

Chris Gethard's Mom, Sally, is the kind that doesn't like her son swearing so much. Our caller's Mom is the kind that cheers when her daughter gets a penalty in a youth hockey game. She's also the kind of Mom that picks …

Daddy Dearest

September 13th, 2016

1:12:12

Sure, there's stories about fighting neo-nazis, deranged tree-house guests, and a mom fetching her son's busted teeth. But peel back all the sensational layers and you'll find a man. A man trying to make sense of his …

Chronotopes in Paris

September 6th, 2016

52:05

What is a Chronotope? And what does it have to do with time, space, love and sex? Come, walk with us through the streets of Paris, and everything will be explained. This episode is sponsored by DKMS, Mack Weldon, …

Hot Scoop

August 30th, 2016

56:12

Poo-tiful stories flow freely from this anonymous caller. And Geth steps in it.This episode is sponsored by Magoosh, DKMS, Talkspace, and Blue Apron.

Noodlebody

August 23rd, 2016

1:10:52

Morrissey sings, "It takes strength to be gentle and kind." Well, Geth hasn't eaten all day, and this self-avowed "Noodlebody" is about to find out if the two hard-boiled eggs Gethard bought from the midtown 7-11 will …

I Cry When I Run

August 16th, 2016

1:13:52

"You're about to hear me have more fun than I've ever had in the history of Beautiful/Anonymous." So sayeth Chris Gethard about this call, which …

Anglican Bipolar Blacksheep

August 9th, 2016

1:12:39

For generations her family has been preaching fire and brimstone in the Pentecostal church, but this caller had to find her own way. A …

A Competitive Spirit

August 2nd, 2016

1:12:08

This former professional soccer player's life hasn't turned out anywhere close to what she planned -- but she's happy. And as she tells Chris, she's learning how to tap into her competitive spirit every day.This episode …

Make Fruit Baskets Great Again

July 26th, 2016

1:11:55

She's a mother of two and domestic abuse survivor who wants to talk about Trump.  After hearing her life story Chris understands why she supports The Donald. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, Talkspace, and …

Vegan Uncle Buck

July 19th, 2016

1:11:42

He loves animals! But kids? Not so much. This caller delves into his own childhood, his dislike of hardware megastores, and though there's a little darkness, this is one of the more lighthearted calls we've ever …

Strangers on a Train

July 12th, 2016

1:10:29

A lot of people call up and share stories from their past. But today we are very much living in the present. It's almost like we're experiencing this caller's life with him as it is happening. All aboard the SEPTA …

OTL in a Hopeless Place

July 5th, 2016

1:09:11

Loves hashtags & millennial abbreviations? Check. Has a deep knowledge of RomComs? Check. Found love in a hopeless place? Check. Name drops J-Lo and inspires Chris to sing some Peter Gabriel? Check.This episode is …

Early Onset

June 28th, 2016

1:10:59

She's just 25, but her mother has early onset Alzheimers. This is a call about remembering those who can no longer remember themselves.This episode is sponsored by Ibotta and Audible.

At Sea On a Cardboard Boat (Live at the Vulture Festival)

June 21st, 2016

1:25:03

It's the first ever taping of Beautiful/Anonymous from the Vulture Festival in NYC. The caller is a creative Canadian looking to sail her cardboard …

The Hardest Part Is That You Love Me

June 14th, 2016

1:08:48

This 25 year-old Californian is in the midst of a quarter-life crisis and turns to Chris for help. So they form a mutual appreciation society. #MAS

Jack Mormon

June 7th, 2016

1:12:21

A questioning Mormon and family man calls Chris up exactly 1 hour and 15 minutes before his final law exam of the semester. But this phone call is more important to him than the test.This episode is sponsored by AMEX, …

Married to a Monster

May 31st, 2016

1:12:17

Two years ago a note came in the mail with surprising and horrifying news about her husband. But despite all the darkness that's crept into her life she is shining with positivity.This episode is sponsored by AMEX, …

Alcoholics Anonymous

May 24th, 2016

36:20

We get our first hangup and it's pretty rattling. Let us know what you think.This episode is sponsored by AMEX, SundanceNow Doc Club, Framebridge, and Stamps.com.

Jersey Boy

May 17th, 2016

1:10:53

This entrepreneur seems like he's got it all figured out. But there are certain things he will never reveal to Chris. Plus: how a volcano …

4 Kids 0 Sex

May 10th, 2016

1:08:28

After 8 years and 4 kids he is more in love with her than ever. But she may not be in love with him. This is the first time he's talking to anyone about it. This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon, Squarespace, and …

Up All Night

May 3rd, 2016

1:09:18

This nurse has been up for 24 hours. Chris has the chance to ask her some questions that have been on his mind for a while.

Running Down a Stapler

April 26th, 2016

1:07:15

The greatest songwriter of all time (self-proclaimed) has written 18,000 songs and counting, including one brand new song for us. Watch out, Tom Petty.

The Cycle of Life

April 19th, 2016

1:11:22

Reflections on death and the value of a 401k turns into candid sex advice from Chris Gethard to his anonymous caller.

Mountain Man vs. City Boy

April 12th, 2016

1:05:48

This outdoorsman and mountaineer is in touch with nature and his Ford F250, he takes care of the people he loves, and is totally willing to share about anything, even poop soup.

A Real Life Superhero

April 5th, 2016

1:05:46

Military veteran and writer talks about his WWII super-spy grandmother, a more recent sad and startling ouija board prediction, and how his life has changed since he left the service.

The Most Amazing Destruction

March 29th, 2016

1:11:36

An aspiring voice actor talks about using jokes to help with the hard times, and explains how she frames success. Plus she asks Chris the most important question he has ever faced: if you were to be eaten by an animal …

The Illustrator

March 22nd, 2016

1:06:06

A young illustrator in New York City grapples with the line between fine art and commerce...and how to avoid parking tickets.

Passport, Exodus

March 15th, 2016

1:04:44

An ex-Orthodox Jew answers Chris’s pressing questions about Kosher law, particularly as it relates to drinking wine and eating insects. He also …

Ron Paul's Baby

March 15th, 2016

1:04:22

A true underdog in Denton, Texas reveals his fascinating family history, and a pent-up passion.

Preview: Beautiful / Anonymous

March 3rd, 2016

3:03

A sneak peek at Chris Gethard’s new show “Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People,” coming to Earwolf on March 15th! Subscribe now and you won't miss …

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