Cover art for podcast Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People

Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People

246 EpisodesProduced by Earwolf & Chris GethardWebsite

1 phone call. 1 hour. No names. No holds barred. Thats the premise behind Beautiful Stories from Anonymous People, hosted by comedian Chris Gethard (the Chris Gethard Show, Broad City, This American Life, and one of Time Outs 10 best comedians of 2015). Every week, Chris opens the phone line to one … read more

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237. Get Out (Of The Closet)

October 20th, 2020


A caller opens up to Chris about the struggle to get his black, religious family to accept his same sex, interracial relationship. He also discusses the similarities between ‘Get Out’ and his relationship with his …

236. Ending A Parade of Tragedies

October 13th, 2020


A parade of tragedies, including being sued by her drug addicted mom, defined this caller's early life. After ending codependencies and working to remove herself from chaos, good things started happening to this …

235. 315 Days Without Opiates

October 6th, 2020


An opioid addict in recovery says the drug turned him into the greatest liar in the world. He talks about staying sober, and he and Geth joke about …

234. Fell In Love With A Hobo

September 29th, 2020


A young woman visiting her ex in Berlin opens up to Geth about her relationship with a train hopping hobo. She also reveals how a customer service job led to a surprising diagnosis.

233. The Orgy Dome

September 22nd, 2020


A Burning Man aficionado has a bone to pick with Geth about comments he made regarding the annual event. They get into what goes on at Burning Man and yes, "The Orgy Dome" is exactly what it sounds like.

232. My Parents Were Psychics

September 15th, 2020


A spanko & emotional nudist tells Geth about being exorcised by her psychic parents and fleeing a commune after one of the members tried to murder her mother.

231. My Dead Ex Is My Sperm Donor

September 8th, 2020


This caller and her girlfriend are trying to have a baby via IVF in a very unusual way. She tells Geth about the many outcomes that the process could …

230. Syrian Refugee

September 1st, 2020


Her childhood was lost to the brutal civil war in her home country. Now, recently graduated from high school, she tells Geth about fleeing to the …

229. A Special Ed Teacher with Autism

August 25th, 2020


A teacher opens up to Chris about how working with autistic children made her seek out her own diagnosis. She also dispels myths about the autism spectrum. 

228. Rescue Mission To America

August 18th, 2020


An Australian woman tells the story of rescuing her daughter from an abusive relationship in the U.S., the resulting legal fight, and ultimately …

227. Caught My Husband With A Sex Worker

August 11th, 2020


A divorcée shares details from the ledger of the 35 men she's dated since her marriage ended and some of them are wild. From hitting on someone else during a date to commitment issues, welcome to the "The Gong Show" …

226. Math Guy vs. Geth

August 4th, 2020


A doctor of mathematics has a bone to pick with Chris about his dislike of the subject. They get into what schools could be doing differently to …

225. Protesting Magician In Portland

July 28th, 2020


A magician explains why she doesn’t like other magicians and describes what it’s been like attending protests in Portland. She and Chris also unpack her first crush as a kid: Encyclopedia Brown.

224. A Posh Perspective

July 21st, 2020


A young British woman opens up her experiences with racism in England and provides her perspective on the legacy of colonialism.  Also: saving Prince …

223. Asexual Ex-Conservative Lunchlady

July 14th, 2020


A lunchlady and former conservative tells Geth about how having a miscarriage changed her political views and led to a deeper understanding of her …

Introducing California Love

July 9th, 2020


Hello Beautiful/Anonymous fans! Enjoy this episode of a new show from LAist studios, California Love. The show seeks to understand what it means to …

222. Stalked By My Ex

July 7th, 2020


A former engineer opens up to Geth about being stalked by her ex-boyfriend and why she decided to become a teacher. She reveals the difficulties of …

221. Mexican American Iowan

June 30th, 2020


A recent high school graduate grapples with her dream of becoming a journalist and taking care of her brothers. She and Geth also discuss growing up …

220. A Bar Star Comes Out, Again

June 23rd, 2020


Gay conversion therapy, a failed marriage and finally coming out. A caller tells Geth about his religious upbringing and finding happiness later in life.

219. Romantic Wrestler

June 16th, 2020


An indie pro wrestler tells Geth about going through a break up during the COVID crisis, proving that guys in the ring need love too.

218. A Black Woman in America

June 9th, 2020


A caller navigates life as a black woman in America during a historic week of BLM protests. She and Geth also talk about microaggressions, the problem with "all lives matter," and her mother’s death.

217. Touching Strangers Faces

May 26th, 2020


Going back to work amidst the pandemic is stressful for this cat-owning cosmetologist. She tells Geth her strategies to manage anxiety and gives him …

216. Quitting Weed

May 19th, 2020


An all-day-everyday weed smoker considers quitting due to health issues (involving *enormous burps*). She tells Geth what it’s been like starting a …

215. Native Alaskan in Anchorage

May 12th, 2020


A Native Alaskan talks about life after thyroid cancer and fills Geth in on the music scene in Alaska. You'll never guess what happened when Pitbull …

214. Quarantine Breakup

May 5th, 2020


A trans man talks about what it's like living with his gf post breakup and still sleeping in the same bed. He and Geth discuss masculinity.

213. Parkour Yoda

April 28th, 2020


Physically conquering mental limitations is the ethos of Parkour according to this young psychology student. What really *is* parkour? Don't trust …

212. EMT In The Epicenter

April 21st, 2020


The emergency calls are at an all time high but she says "the darkness makes the light seem brighter". Geth helps lighten the mood by talking about the haunted spots in her Long Island hometown and they bond over their …

211. My Partner is a Medical Mystery

April 14th, 2020


A young woman describes working as a nanny during quarantine with a toddler while having a sick partner in need of a transplant. She also opens up about almost being kidnapped and what she's looking forward to once …

Don't Say The C Word

April 10th, 2020


Geth did something a little different. 75 phones calls, 2.5 hours. No names. No mention of Coronavirus. Chris talks to new dads, a lady with a fish named Slim Shady, someone with extensive knowledge of Harry Truman, a …

210. How To Date A Sketch Comedian

April 7th, 2020


Stuck at home under lockdown with her parents, an art student calls in and talks to Gethard about how coronavirus has affected their lives so far. Geth gives advice on dating a sketch comedian and she opens up about her …

209. Union Worker vs. Robot Dog Uprising

March 31st, 2020


Fired from his union position, this guy turned to gig economy jobs in the midst of coronavirus. Things are serious right now, but Geth still gets a chance to find out if he ever steals a jalapeno popper and they muse …

208. London Is Savage (in Quarantine)

March 24th, 2020


An Englishwoman is passing the time while self-isolating with a dry cough. She and Chris discuss Coronavirus in England and what it's like growing up …

207. Love In The Time Of Coronavirus

March 17th, 2020


An American living in China describes what it was like living with his other half's entire family for 3 weeks during the Coronavirus. He also shares the surprisingly romantic story of meeting his wife.

206. My Girlfriend Cheated, I Got A Dog

March 10th, 2020


An extremely optimistic guy calls in to talk about how he got over his cheating ex by getting a dog, living in a tiny house, hopping freight trains and more. Plus, Chris shares what he’s learned on the cusp of turning …

205. I'm The Best Lyft Driver

March 3rd, 2020


A former teen mom found happiness after a car wreck by becoming a Lyft driver. She also reveals a surprising connection to Chris.

204. Hit By A Truck

February 25th, 2020


Getting hit by a semi truck at work was only the beginning of this guy’s problems. With his future in doubt, he decided to buy his very own 10 acres.

203. Phone Call Hole In One

February 18th, 2020


Does having an identical twin make you more competitive? This young, female athlete tells Geth about focusing her competitive twin energy into golf, …

202. An Octopus Living in Baltimore

February 11th, 2020


A Baltimorean waxes nostalgic about his hometown and talks about his near fatal encounter with a freight elevator. Things take an interesting turn …

201. Dry Eyes But 2020 Vision

February 4th, 2020


A Gen Z-er (or zoomer!) unpacks the complexities of being mixed race, her mom's secret pill business, why bird spit is a delicacy, and what it's like growing up in the age of climate change.


This episode is brought to …

200.5 Bonus: Two Hundred Things I've Learned From Beautiful/Anonymous

January 31st, 2020


In celebration of the 200th episode, Chris shares 200 lessons he’s learned from Beautiful/Anonymous, ranging from heartbreaking to hilarious.

200. Citizen Of The World

January 28th, 2020


A guy from the Deep South tells Chris some wild travel stories, and about the time he got hit by a car inside of a Waffle House.



This episode is brought to you by Teladoc ( and Ritual (

199. Bigot Chicken

January 21st, 2020


In the drive thru line to get some fast food chicken, this caller tells Geth about dealing with the aftermath of her husband’s psychotic break.

This episode is brought to you by Teladoc (

198. Punky Brewster Saves The World

January 14th, 2020


A caller in London talks to Geth about British & European politics, noting that there might be a problem with political parties founded by …

197. Kinda Famous Secret Half Brother

January 7th, 2020


This caller found out later in life that her dad isn’t her biological father. The story involves Gethard in a way you would never expect.

This …

196. Beautiful Resolutions for 2020

December 31st, 2019


Listeners (including a surprising number of aspiring novelists) called in for a series of brief one minute calls to tell Geth their goals, hopes and plans for 2020.


This episode is brought to you by Joybird.

195. Dredging It Up Again

December 24th, 2019


Years ago, this caller dropped their phone while on the line with Chris and the call was lost forever. They finally re-connect and discuss passing …

194. You Can Go Back To Your Seat Now, Thanks

December 17th, 2019


“It takes a toll on you quickly.” On her 22nd birthday, a former model who became a flight attendant talks to Gethard about her old career (scouted …

193. Philosopher Chef

December 10th, 2019


Cocaine in kitchens, the widespread impact of a South Park episode on Yelp and review culture. A chef brings Geth behind the scenes of restaurant …

192. I Did Poopy & I Know Calculus

December 3rd, 2019


What’s it like to be a public school teacher today? Gethard finds out from a fellow New Jerseyite.


This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (

191. Foster To Adopt

November 26th, 2019


A parent talks about her family’s journey with foster care, adoption & a really long walk in Spain.


This episode is brought to you by Aura Frames (, Native Deodorant (

190. Chill (with Justifiable Rage)

November 19th, 2019


In her work as a community organizer, this caller loves listening to other people’s stories and asking tough questions. She tells her story and it …

189. Polyamorous Group Real Estate

November 12th, 2019


A caller is trying to get a mortgage to buy a duplex with a big group of polyamorous friends and family in Southern Maine.


This episode is brought …

188. Aspiring Pro Wrestler

November 5th, 2019


Geth loves pro wrestling. This caller does too, and so much that he’s trying to make it in that world.


This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen …

187. Motor City Mayhem (Murdered Dads)

October 29th, 2019


Strip clubs, pickles and dad’s getting murdered, that’s what these bros bond over. In one of the most chaotic episodes ever, two callers are on the phone thousands of miles away while their buddy joins Gethard on stage …

186. Ayahuasca

October 22nd, 2019


A committed follower of Santo Daime, a Brazilian religion and spiritual tradition, tells Gethard about her many (many, many, many) experiences with …

185. I Love You, Dad

October 15th, 2019


On the first anniversary of her dad passing away, this week’s caller spoke to Gethard about how cool her dad was and how her family grieved the loss. …

184. Traffic

October 8th, 2019


Working at a residential program to help girls who have been trafficked or are at high risk, a caller tells Geth about how her job is the best thing that’s ever happened to her.

This episode is brought to you by …

183. Bad Luck Johnny

October 1st, 2019


This guy has had some really bad luck lately but he’s handling it as best as he can. Plus: epic dad stories involving: the mafia, drug busts & …

182. The Raccoon Roommate

September 24th, 2019


An illegal (rescued) pet raccoon who eats cap’n crunch out of a shoe, Al-Anon, society, sex, working through trauma. 

This episode is brought to you …

181. Piles of Walking Goop

September 17th, 2019


This young Scottish caller has a checklist of things to discuss, including the question: Are Scottish people comfortable with depressing comedy because it rains a lot or are they just born a bit sad?

This episode is …

180. Jammers vs. Blockers

September 10th, 2019


Things just kinda suck at this point in life, but this caller found sanctuary in roller derby.

This episode is brought to you by Fruit of the Loom (

179. The Size of a Cantaloupe

September 3rd, 2019


This caller gives listeners a PSA: go to the doctor! She's managed to maintain an inspiringly positive disposition even after what she thought was just bloating turned out to be something much more serious.

This episode …

178. Partner In Prison

August 27th, 2019


Some addictions don’t get discussed that often. A caller talks about sex and love addicts anonymous and discusses the need to save oneself before trying to save the world.

This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (

177. A True (Modern) Love Story

August 20th, 2019


Celebrating her first birthday with friends, family & her girlfriend after 3 years in a mental health treatment center, a caller talks to Geth about falling in love inside the facility. 

This episode is brought to …

176. The Choctaw & Irish Connection

August 13th, 2019


Having lived all over the world, a member of the Choctaw Tribe talks to Geth about finding a sense of belonging when visiting home from abroad.

This episode is brought to you by Magoosh ( code: BEAUTIFUL), …

175. Fighting Through Life

August 6th, 2019


Finding empowerment over past trauma through martial arts. This caller is a true badass.

This episode is brought to you by Life is Good Ping Podcast, Third Love (, ZipRecruiter (

174. The Squirrel and the Giraffe

July 30th, 2019


Hearing other people talk about themselves makes this caller uncomfortable. "It makes me cringe," he says, "being on the show is a terrible idea." Will this be Chris' second-ever hang up, or will the caller stay on the …

173. I Found Closure

July 23rd, 2019


A caller opens up about a stigmatized condition and tells Geth about finding closure to a chapter of her life after hearing an old friend on …

172. Babysitting (Drunk People)

July 16th, 2019


A bartender tells wild stories (murder!), how to get free stuff (drinks and rides home). Also, the found family & new home she’s established with …

171. I’ve Never Told Anyone

July 9th, 2019


A college student home for the summer, sitting on a living room floor with dog on lap, talks to Geth about an eating disorder that started in high …

170. No Guide Book to Grief

July 2nd, 2019


Planning a posh goth Halloween wedding, taking care of a 3 legged cat and processing grief after the death of a family member who had been hiding big secrets, this British caller prompts Geth to try bring the words …

169. The Raccoon Incident

June 25th, 2019


An online slang dictionary editor and vicious rabid animal attack survivor who had too much cold brew and ritalin talks to Geth about dealing with …

168. Clinical Psychologist

June 18th, 2019


A psychologist talks about the emotional toll of tough conversations, selflessness vs. selfishness & Geth asks: have you ever had to step out mid …

167. Go With The Flow

June 11th, 2019


Geth gets a peek into the chaotic life of a stay at home dad with 3 kids, a 4th on the way, and a daughter in the hospital.

This episode is brought to you by The Life is Good Ping Podcast, Mack Weldon (

166. The Ultimate Bad Roommate Story

June 4th, 2019


Recently declared PTSD free, a caller is interrupted by a cute little mouse while telling Geth about being emotionally and psychologically …

165. Life Is Weird

May 28th, 2019


A caller tells Geth what it’s like to be a young, single, punk rock mom.

This episode is brought to you by Airbnb Experiences (, The Skimm (, and ZipRecruiter (

164. The Cuckoo’s Nest

May 21st, 2019


Suffering from a physical injury from working too much & too hard, this week’s caller takes a break from building sets to get Geth excited about theme restaurants (Mars 2112, Jekyll & Hyde...Medieval Times!).

163. More Alike Than Different

May 14th, 2019


You don’t want to mess with a punk rock mom! Geth talks to a proud mother about how lucky she is to have a very unique daughter.

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Aura …

The Adventures of Glandon Oakfoot

May 10th, 2019


You don’t really know someone’s complex, warped brain until they’ve been your Dungeon Master. For this bonus episode, a caller with lots of D.M. experience guides Glandon Oakfoot, Jomar Salveston and Tyrone The Terrible …

162. A Hero's Journey

May 7th, 2019


A screaming cat with a rubber band around it’s head, Dungeons & Dragons, and an emergency suicide intervention road trip. This caller hasn’t slept in days because she recently leapt in her car to go help someone …

161. Sky Full of Ghosts

April 30th, 2019


A past caller who’s made strides in living with grief, learning to tell her story and finding a path of acceptance catches up with Gethard in studio …

160. Kaleidoscope of Danger

April 23rd, 2019


Calling from a country described as filled with cognitive dissonance and very passionate people, this caller provides Geth a powerful portrait of her …

159. Called Once, Listened Never

April 16th, 2019


A guy who has never even listened to this podcast talks to Gethard about a bunch of stuff for an hour.

This episode is brought to you by Vrbo, Joybird (, Aura Frames, Talkspace (

158. Broke In The USA

April 9th, 2019


Living in New Jersey and hating it, the gig economy and trying to get by being broke in the USA are on this caller’s mind. 

This episode is brought to you by Vrbo and Bombas.

157. Porn, Drugs, Murder & Learning To Love

April 2nd, 2019


Kidnapping, murder, sex, cocaine, ketamine and porn. This caller’s family is at the center of a true crime story. She tells Geth about how she’s suffered on her journey to learn how to be loving.

This episode is brought …

Episode 1: Harry’s Aussie Best Friend

April 1st, 2019


New host Harry Nelson takes his first of many successful calls. He gets a caller from Australia on the line and talks about America, but also the …

156. Hold My Caipirinha

March 26th, 2019


Gethard heard he has a cult following in Brazil, so this week the line was open to Brazilian numbers only. Immigration issues, education and social …

155. Jetmouth

March 19th, 2019


While smoking a bowl in his garage, a stay at home dad talks to Gethard about parenting. They share stories about protective dad instincts and recognizing mistakes.

This episode is brought to you by Neou Fitness (

154. My Dad Owns A Strip Club

March 12th, 2019


A few years ago, this caller took a job working at her dad’s strip club. There were duffel bags full of cash and other shady stuff. She thought …

153. Car Crash

March 5th, 2019


Years later, this caller still hears the sounds of the tragic car accident he survived. He tells Geth how he won’t let the trauma of the crash revive the anxiety he overcame in his younger days. They also talk about an …

152. Love At First [blank]

February 26th, 2019


A blind caller tells Geth his touching internet-era love story & explains why he considers himself a visual learner.

This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter (, Talkspace (

151. The King of Silver Linings

February 19th, 2019


A stress-free 34 year old who loves what he does for a living has to decide what to eat for lunch.

This episode is brought to you by (

150. Meta Millennial

February 12th, 2019


A social media manager slash graphic designer pitches her podcast & gives Gethard instagram advice.

This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon, …

149. RINO

February 5th, 2019


Raised by liberals, after becoming a mom as a teenager, this caller’s politics shifted. Some would now call her a “Republican in name only” or a …

148. In Loving Arms

January 29th, 2019


This episode includes: a double-headed red dildo, binders full of sperm, epilepsy, addiction & rehab. But most importantly, it’s about an …

147. Crying Into My Boba

January 22nd, 2019


Too many edibles. A missing sister. Paranoia. Depersonalization & derealization. This week’s caller had a tough 2018, but with therapy and treatment, she’s conquering one thing at a time. 

This episode is brought to …

146. American Ex-Pat & Berlin Go-Between

January 15th, 2019


A caller in Berlin connects Geth with someone in Finland who happens to be from Oklahoma. Should Geth move to Finland? An American ex-pat helps Geth …

145. My First Job Interview Ever

January 8th, 2019


In 90 minutes, a graphic design student will have her first-ever job interview. Luckily, Gethard is on the phone to help her get calmed down and psyched up.

Beautiful Follow-Ups: Love Goes On (#69 - Love Is Everywhere)

January 3rd, 2019


In June 2017, a mother of 5 spent an hour talking to Chris while in a waiting room, about to hear life or death test results from her daughter’s …

144.5 Bonus: Beautiful Resolutions for 2019.

January 1st, 2019


It’s time for the annual Beautiful Anonymous New Year’s resolutions episode. Listeners (and a couple special guests) called in for a series of brief …

144. Queer Feminist Pagan Yuletide

December 25th, 2018


Coming out of the closet to her family was this caller’s New Year’s resolution for 2018. As the year comes to close, she tells Geth whether she …

143. 28-Year-Old College Student

December 18th, 2018


A real-life Frank The Tank living with hard-partying 18-21 year old college kids is studying geosciences with the goal of one day improving global …

142. A Bridge Between Humans

December 11th, 2018


Raised in Japan, this week’s guest moved to Canada because of the freedom and culture of openness. Hardly able to speak the language, she now works a …

141. Gay Mormon

December 4th, 2018


Imagine if your mom found out you were getting married because she saw your wedding on the TV news. He called in to point out an issue with episode 14 (that’s 127 episodes ago!) but also tells Geth about growing up …

140. I Lost 150 Pounds

November 27th, 2018


What is it like to transform from very large to marathon runner very quickly? A polite but engaged audience in Toronto helps Geth out with some …

139. Basement Infidelity

November 20th, 2018


A cheating husband, drugs, stalkers, liars and flipping houses. This week’s caller is at a critical juncture in her life and is a little unclear on where the truth lies.

This episode is brought to you by This Is Love …

138. House Burned Down

November 13th, 2018


Her home is engulfed in flames. She brings the geckos, kittens & dogs to safety and checks on the donkeys, mules, chickens and horses to make …

137. Color of Sunshine, Color of Moonlight

November 6th, 2018


Days after the 2016 election, a mother of three was nervous about how the outcome of the election would impact her children and left an emotional …

136. Wilderness Rehabilitation

October 30th, 2018


On an eight hour solo road trip, a wilderness therapy guide takes a break from dreaming of the woods and insects to chat with Gethard. He’s a …

135. Vanity & Sanity

October 23rd, 2018


What is beauty? Maybe the answer is unknowable. For this week’s caller, searching for the answer to that question has been the source of a lot of emotions: anger, depression, anxiety, jealousy and sometimes happiness. 

134. Upward Slide of Happiness

October 16th, 2018


Sitting on a bench in a quintessentially British location, near Queen Mary’s Rose Garden in London, a young Brit opens up with Gethard in a way he …

133. Nap Time

October 9th, 2018


“Day care is wild though, let me tell ya!” It’s time to put down a bunch of one-year-olds for a nap and talk with Geth. Married young and facing a …

132. I Survived A Mass Shooting

October 1st, 2018


A mass shooting survivor talks to Gethard about the love, positivity and beauty she has experienced in the year since the real-life nightmare she lived through in Las Vegas.

This episode is brought to you by Merge …

131. What’s It Like To Be A Man Today?

September 25th, 2018


A European nomad with 30% battery and a very full bladder is riding a ‘lift’ in the Parisian Metro as she chats with Geth (and a live audience in …

130. My Year of Sexploration

September 18th, 2018


Last time this caller got through she talked about being a marching band teacher. She got through again. This time she gets very detailed about a year of pushing and exploring boundaries.

This episode is brought to you …

129. Not Afraid of Life

September 11th, 2018


A hard-working mom balancing multiple jobs and school has an inspiring approach to life. Geth tries to find out what it’s like when her Cuban side …

128. Nervous Interrupter (Let's All F***)

September 4th, 2018


A merch guy tells Geth about sexual experimentation on the road and coming to terms with his desires.

This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon ( code: BEAUTIFUL), Brooklinen (

127. 40 Lbs of Cat

August 28th, 2018


Is Facebook evil? Can the internet become a more humane and civil place? Beautiful Anonymous’s first official cat lady has a suggestion: A Sorry …

126. A Saudi Student in Canada

August 21st, 2018


A woman studying neurobiology in Toronto talks about her experience overcoming the cultural differences between Saudi Arabia, Canada & America. …

125. Major Postal Bitch

August 14th, 2018


Drugs, rampages, the postal system. This call has it all. Buckle up and enjoy.

This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (

124. Goose, Not Maverick

August 7th, 2018


Herding fighter pilots like cats, taking “go pills” to stay focused for long flights, imposter syndrome, “don’t ask, don’t tell.” These are just some of the unique things this active-duty service member has experienced …

123. Hanukkah With Fidel

July 31st, 2018


A Cuban refugee met up with Chris in a New York City park. The realities of Jewish life in Cuba, seeing snow for the first time, and falling in love are discussed as flying garbage and passing loud New Yorkers …

122. Northern Ireland

July 24th, 2018


Northern Ireland: come for the apple orchards and beautiful cathedrals, not the disaster tourism. Born to a Catholic mother and Protestant father, …

121. Prison Bound

July 16th, 2018


In a few days, this caller will turn herself over to federal authorities and begin a multi-year prison sentence. She tells Geth about how she ended …

120. Out Of The Closet

July 10th, 2018


A young man who has never told anyone about his sexuality finally does. He and Geth talk online relationships, coming out in conservative parts of …

119. 39-Year-Old Grandma

July 2nd, 2018


A young grandmother with a family tree that involves some unusually complicated math talks with Gethard about rolling with the punches and rising …

118. I Cry On The Toilet

June 26th, 2018


We live in a world that can be harsh, brutal and unfair. This week’s caller drives around and personally helps kids and parents in difficult …

117. Smoking Weed in Christiania

June 19th, 2018


Freetown Christiania is an area in Copenhagen where there are no laws and anarchy rules. This week’s caller is walking there to smoke weed with …

116. She Killed My Father

June 12th, 2018


Just ten years ago, transgender was a new word for many people, including this caller. When a close family member transitioned, it was a complex and …

115. The Chillionaire

June 5th, 2018


A goblin fiction ghost writer and artist at heart has an identity crisis after inheriting a million dollars from a distant uncle.

This episode is …

114. Charity Laundry

May 29th, 2018


Raised in a troubled home, with parents who lived a transient lifestyle and a father who eventually ended up in prison, this week’s caller was able to rise above his circumstances and now works to give back to the …

113. Irish Wake

May 22nd, 2018


This week’s caller tells Chris about the very close relationship she had with her recently passed grandmother. Gethard cheers her up with funny stories and by doing his best Freddie Mercury impression.

This episode is …

112. Quiet Rage

May 15th, 2018


How do you become successful in comedy? How do you know when you’ve made it? In a return to form for Beautiful Anonymous, Gethard chats with an …

111. Death Row Lawyer

May 8th, 2018


Growing up in Northern England, this week’s caller became unlikely pen pals with a death row inmate in the American South. That experience, along with an unusual proximity to murder that she describes as a “family …

110. Virtual Dominatrix

May 1st, 2018


A political science student and self-described ‘Robin Hood of sugar babies’ talks with Geth about the significant emotional labor that goes into …

109. If They Say No, They Mean No

April 24th, 2018


A young man describes three difficult experiences of being sexually assaulted and overcoming drug addiction. It's a raw, honest conversation that is …

108. Road Dogs

April 17th, 2018


Driving 10-12 hours a day buying and selling machinery can lead to challenges like finding a good gym and getting sufficient protein while avoiding fast food. Gethard has a fun chat with two dudes on a long road trip …

107. It’s Quiet Time

April 10th, 2018


A mother of two talks about her youthful past as a wandering actor and the choices she made to change her life. Geth asks a question in this call …

106. Tasmanian Sex Ed Circus Performer

April 3rd, 2018


An aerialist turned sex education teacher from Australia chats with Gethard about her life on the road, falling in love and the challenge of …

105. Honne and Tatemae

March 27th, 2018


Stuck between two cultures, a punk rocker calls in from the other side of the world to chat about finding his identity, navigating his country’s …

104. The Whirlpool Galaxy

March 20th, 2018


Coping with tremendous grief from a recent tragedy, an astrophysics researcher talks to Geth about black holes, extraterrestrial life and the fate of …

103. Brady Bunch Wedding / Ron Paul’s Baby Returns

March 13th, 2018


A juicy family history, a fast approaching wedding and upcoming gallbladder surgery are on the caller’s mind this week and Gethard helps her work through it all. After the call, stay tuned for a 2-year anniversary …

102. Dealer Turned Surgeon

March 6th, 2018


How did this self-described East Coast dirtbag go from selling drugs out of his mom’s minivan to doing brain surgery? His answer: Donnie Darko. Gethard asks him some hard hitting questions like: What skills acquired in …

101. English Idyll

February 27th, 2018


Ever heard of "granary bread?" Yeah? Then you’re probably British, like this week’s caller. If not, then get out your malted barley and listen to …

100. One Hundred Anonymous

February 20th, 2018


With a combined 200 years of life lived, a retired dentist and an amateur artist chat with Gethard about staying creative as you get older, living a …

99. Sober Mathematician

February 13th, 2018


Longtime listeners know: math is Chris Gethard's nemesis. A real-life mathematician calls in and gives Gethard the most thrilling math quiz ever on a podcast. (We feel safe making that claim.) He also talks about his …

98. Chemo Chameleon

February 6th, 2018


Headed to her first chemotherapy treatment after a recent cancer diagnosis, this young woman is naturally a little stressed and nervous. However, spirits are soon lifted in a call that includes stories of haunted …

97. In The Candy Aisle

January 30th, 2018


A man narrates his stroll though a Wal-Mart. As he peruses the aisles, from guns to kitchen appliances, the discussion ranges from philosophical to …

96. Boy Crazy

January 23rd, 2018


She does improv, lives in New Jersey and considers herself a "niche person." Needless to say, this week’s caller bonds pretty easily with Gethard. …

95. Monogamous Animals

January 16th, 2018


"If anybody has seen hell, it would be me.” What starts as an immigrant success story ends up weaving through prostitution, revenge, tragedy, …

94. The Puppet Master

January 9th, 2018


An art school grad talks about his success working in an emerging technological art form. Then, out of nowhere, something happens in this call that …

Bonus: Beautiful Resolutions

January 2nd, 2018


Beautiful Anonymous fans called in for a series of brief one minute calls to tell Chris their goals, hopes and plans for 2018. 

93. Successful Stalker

December 26th, 2017


Can stalking your crush lead to a successful long-term relationship? A young woman tells Gethard about her years-long pursuit.

This episode is brought …

92. Wisdom From The Bushman

December 19th, 2017


Unsure of her future, a young German woman finds herself in Australia picking cherries with a group of ex-cons & social outcasts. She passes the phone to a fellow picker and mentor of sorts who opens up about …

91. Picture A Sunset

December 12th, 2017


The unusual malady that afflicts this caller stirs up a philosophical discussion about how we, as humans, experience and remember our lives and craft our stories.

This episode is brought to you by Sock Club, Squarespace, …

90. Hipster Hospice Chaplain

December 5th, 2017


Gethard has a surprisingly light-hearted chat about death with an expert in the field.

This episode is brought to you by Zelle, Talkspace, Hello Fresh, Sock Club, and Brooklinen.

89. Black Cloud of a Husband

November 28th, 2017


A mother of four tells Gethard about going from med school to motherhood, and how she escaped a troubled marriage with a controlling, manipulative …

88. Cadaver Epiphany

November 21st, 2017


A first year medical student tells Gethard how dissecting dead bodies changed her feelings on death. She opens up about how her mother inspired her to study medicine and some of the worst smells she’s encountered, like …

87. Head Injury

November 14th, 2017


A guy got hit really hard in the head. He tells Gethard all about it.

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace ( code: CG), …

86. Plant Splooge

November 7th, 2017


A bonafide geologist tells Geth about fossilized dung fungi and the behind the scenes secrets of the Museum of Natural History. They also talk about …

85. Moravian Trademonk

October 31st, 2017


“You can’t give puppies cow vaccines.” That’s how this caller ends her hour with Gethard. The journey to that moment takes us through: Italian Madrigals, getting licked by a baby cow, going on a tour of a cranberry …

84. A True Crime Investigator

October 24th, 2017


Usually this caller is the one conducting the interview. He’s a police officer by trade, but he works a little differently than your average cop. He …

83. The Relaxed Satanist

October 17th, 2017


Gethard has a meandering chit chat with a photographer and former photo developer who details the unusual things people put on film, like nazi …

82. Sex Toys and Bourbon

October 10th, 2017


A nice midwestern girl moved to LA. While fixing herself a drink, she tells Gethard tales of porn, vomit, hair extensions and an elopement.

This episode is brought to you by ( code: BEAUTIFUL), …

81. Rabbits and Catholics

October 3rd, 2017


Recently engaged to a deeply Catholic man, this week’s caller asks Gethard for some guidance. Also in this week’s call: weird stuff at cybernetic …

80. Hiding In A Storage Space

September 26th, 2017


Today's caller is a dad with two sons who just dropped his 5 year old off for his first day of Kindergarten and he and his wife have their first …

79. Civil War Survivor

September 19th, 2017


Today’s caller was injured by grenade shrapnel as a young child and brought to the U.S. by her mother to receive medical treatment. She tells Chris about her family’s experience living through an extended civil war and …

78. Bloomin' Love

September 12th, 2017


Santería, possible mafia connections and digestive troubles are a part of this week’s caller’s complicated family history. Calling from a Dunkin’ Donuts bathroom, this rambunctious fun-loving bartender tells Chris …

77. Coming Out with Katie Couric

September 5th, 2017


Iconic journalist Katie Couric joins Gethard as guest co-host. They chat with a college student in an early stage of major life changes. The caller …

76. A Big Hole

August 29th, 2017


Eight months pregnant and she loves messing with people, this week’s caller is celebrating her birthday on Beautiful Anonymous. She tells Gethard …

75. Charlottesville

August 22nd, 2017


An African American military vet living in Charlottesville discusses the recent protests in his town. He tells Chris about confronting KKK rallies and how to deal with white supremacists. He’s also playing Mario Kart …

74. Holy Moly

August 15th, 2017


Having dealt with mental health issues and an eating disorder this caller now helps others confront those problems. She tells Chris about the repercussions of coming out in a small town, and the two discuss their …

73. Homeschooled Bigfoot Hunter

August 8th, 2017


Sasquatch. Bigfoot. Skunk-Ape. Yeti. Whatever you want to call it, this week's caller is on the hunt. A homeschooled paranormal enthusiast, he tells …

72. Aussie Best Friend

August 1st, 2017


An Aussie opens up about his family’s history which includes tales of drug dealing, substance abuse, mental illness, sex addiction and trying to find God in a hot yoga studio. Something really special clicks between …

71. American Studies

July 25th, 2017


What college major could possibly involve writing an academic paper comparing the 1968 film “The Parent Trap” with the 1998 remake starring Lindsay …

70. Tattoo Parlor

July 18th, 2017


Calling in from a tattoo parlor, this week’s caller is getting inked up to commemorate a grim experience. Some wild tattoo stories are told as the …

69. Love Is Everywhere

July 11th, 2017


A mother calls in from a children’s hospital while waiting for her daughter's test results. Gethard & the caller shed some tears while discussing …

68. Married The Day We Met

July 4th, 2017


Gethard chats with a Soprano. As in the highest of the four singing voices in Opera, not a character from a popular HBO show. The caller speaks about …

67. Country AF

June 27th, 2017


On her lunch break, today’s caller engages in some light hearted chit chat about office gossip and her (sometimes frustrating) side gig as a wedding …

66. Sex Drugs and Retail

June 20th, 2017

Ever wonder what it's like to be paid to secretly watch shoppers on camera? This week's caller works in the retail field of "loss prevention." He tells Gethard about the time he confronted a shoplifter and got punched …

65. Deaf

June 13th, 2017

This week's caller is a somewhat unconventional podcast fan. He loves Beautiful/Anonymous even though he's never technically heard an episode. Hmmm. …

64. Mother Moon (Live in Portland, Oregon)

June 6th, 2017

A poet-to-be calls in to the Beautiful Anonymous live tour. She and Gethard get off to a slow start. That might work in the studio, but the live …

63. Singer Who Won't Sing

May 30th, 2017

Struggling to realize her creative ambitions in early adulthood, this week’s caller confronted body image issues when younger. Gethard gives her a …

62. Just Like A Johnny Cash Song

May 23rd, 2017

Raised in a tumultuous household and married at eighteen to the pastor’s son, today’s caller was divorced before she turned twenty. Betrayal, love …

61. Rekindling An Old Friendship

May 16th, 2017

Against the odds, a caller from one of the earliest, most listened-to calls manages to get through for a second time. Unprecedented! The caller gives Gethard an update on what's happened in his life since his first call …

60. Public Defender

May 9th, 2017

Big parties with lawyers gathered around piles of cocaine. Inequality in the criminal justice system. Huge corporations ripping off the families of jailed inmates. Gethard talks to a public defender about these topics, …

59. First Kiss

May 2nd, 2017

One hour ago, in the rain, this week’s caller experienced her first kiss. She tells Gethard about the high school experience in 2017 covering the new …

58. Vinyl Market Researcher

April 25th, 2017

Should this week's caller quit his lucrative corporate job to pursue his passion? His dream is to purchase a small business but he's nervous that …

57. Swingers

April 17th, 2017

Gethard has a threesome! Okay,'s just a three-way phone call, but this week's callers are a married couple who talk to Chris about their swinging lifestyle. Find out how they meet other swinger couples, what …

56. A Midwife Discusses Birth Schmutz

April 10th, 2017

Chris asks a midwife some real questions: has she ever seen someone in labor punch someone else? And, what happens to the schmutz left behind after a …

55. Trail Blazer

April 4th, 2017


It's a story like something out of a surreal American novel, with wealth and poverty intertwined. On the phone while hiking a mountain, this week’s caller tells Chris about his youth, spent experimenting with every drug …

54. What Not To Ask A Trans Person

March 27th, 2017


Assigned as a female at birth, this week's caller has been socially and medically transitioning for close to four years. He answers some of the most common questions cis people have for trans people. He also tells …

53. Cruise Ship Mafia

March 21st, 2017


After graduating from the actual (pre-Jack Black) School of Rock, playing with the likes of Peter Frampton, this week’s caller found himself …

52. Ron Paul's Baby Part 2

March 14th, 2017


For the one-year anniversary episode, Chris reunites with the very first Beautiful Anonymous caller: Ron Paul’s Baby. Find out if having his story …

51. Made Out With My Teacher

March 7th, 2017


A chance encounter at a coffee shop unearthed difficult experiences from this caller’s high school years. The troublesome nature of the call brings …

50. Fugitive Father

February 28th, 2017


Having a reformed criminal kingpin for a dad has made it difficult for this week’s caller to find his path in life. At his father’s urging, he …

49. Bisexual Brahmin

February 21st, 2017


The caste system, religion, arranged marriages and bisexuality are on the mind of this caffeinated caller. Raised in Kenya and India, educated in California and currently living on the East Coast, he opens up about …

48. Power Grid of Love

February 14th, 2017


Interested in the intricacies of how the US electrical grid functions? No? Well, you will be interested in hearing about how the caller wants to “disconnect from her ex-boyfriend’s power grid”. Love, in the language of …

47. Illness, Love & Dogs

February 7th, 2017


Today's caller is recovering from a serious illness acquired while working on peace building in East Africa. He likes to give Chris a hard time but also talks about some deep stuff, like contemplating how to maintain …

46. 4 Kids 0 Spaghetti

January 31st, 2017


At a young age, he found himself a divorced father of four. Battling depression, all he wanted was to find a nice girl to take on a date for some spaghetti and meatballs. Recovering from the low point in his life, and …

45. Inside The Heroin Epidemic

January 24th, 2017


Addicted to heroin for ten years, this week’s caller got clean because she wanted to be a good mother to her new son. She tells Chris about how she …

44. American Daughter

January 17th, 2017


Raised by parents who moved from Vietnam to the United States in search of a better life, this week’s caller is her family’s first American-born child. She talks about defying stereotypes and asserting her independence …

43. Marching Band Teacher

January 10th, 2017


How horny are high school marching band kids? Is it appropriate for a boy to dye his hair in the girls bathroom? This week’s caller drank a sh**-ton …

42. Queer Black Punk in Appalachia

December 20th, 2016


Growing up as a black woman in rural Appalachia wasn't easy. She was different, and she was bullied. But punk rock saved her, and helped her form her …

41. Escape From A Cult

December 13th, 2016


Brainwashed into a religious cult. Our caller escaped 10 years ago, but she's only now starting to process the trauma: from sexual manipulation and …

40. Single Mom Cancer Survivor

December 6th, 2016


Today's caller discusses beating cancer and raising her son as a single mom. Through all of her struggles, big and small, she’s stayed relentlessly positive. Let’s just hope she doesn’t get fired for talking to Chris …

39. A Sister Scorned

November 29th, 2016


A "dolphin" personality type. Betrayal. Anger. Lunch at a buddhist temple. This week's caller has it all.This episode is brought to you by AMEX, …

38. Fail Army Cop

November 22nd, 2016


A small town police officer chats with Chris about the current state of policing in the United States. They try their best to reconcile a divisive …

37. 5% Romantic Interest

November 15th, 2016


Hannibal Buress joins Chris on a call with a college freshman who is a lover of comedy struggling to find romance in his life. Should our caller …

36. Cuddly Pudge

November 8th, 2016


Adopting a child from a foreign country takes a lot of time, patience, and passion. This week’s caller has all of these things. He also has the hope that his son-to-be will have the opportunity to experience virtual …

35. Shakespeare On Molly

November 1st, 2016


Burner, fire-performer-hoola-hooper-grinder-girl, and maybe, a modern-day Shakespeare (on molly) are a few labels we could ascribe to this week's …

34. A Spooky Episode

October 25th, 2016


Just in time for Halloween, Chris and this spirited artist trade spooky stories...until they are rudely interrupted by the ghost of an angry biker. But the corporeal beings prevail, if only for the caller to give Chris …


October 18th, 2016


Did someone say "brain orgasms??" Today's caller did! She gives Geth a lesson in how to whisper in just the right way to make Beaut/Anon listeners' brains tingle & feel the stress melt away. ASMR me ASAP!This …

32. All About Cash

October 11th, 2016


Dear Tom Waits, We look forward to hearing the song you write about this week's caller: falling in love with a stripper, skipping town in a blizzard, a christmas dinner in the demimonde of Boca Raton.This episode is …

31. 10,000 Pounds

October 4th, 2016


London Calling! (or somewhere in England) Our caller works in the film industry, and in general she's a pretty happy person...except when her phone is being monitored by Jar Jar Binks, or when 10,000 pounds disappear. …

30. Shopping at the Face Depot

September 27th, 2016


This week's caller is a linguist who teaches Geth all about the "corpora." In case that's too nerdy for you, hang around for the story about a first date that was captured on a Coast Guard thermal camera. And if you're …

29. The Mom is Anonymous Too

September 20th, 2016


Chris Gethard's Mom, Sally, is the kind that doesn't like her son swearing so much. Our caller's Mom is the kind that cheers when her daughter gets a penalty in a youth hockey game. She's also the kind of Mom that picks …

28. Daddy Dearest

September 13th, 2016


Sure, there's stories about fighting neo-nazis, deranged tree-house guests, and a mom fetching her son's busted teeth. But peel back all the sensational layers and you'll find a man. A man trying to make sense of his …

27. Chronotopes in Paris

September 6th, 2016


What is a Chronotope? And what does it have to do with time, space, love and sex? Come, walk with us through the streets of Paris, and everything will be explained. This episode is sponsored by DKMS, Mack Weldon, …

26. Hot Scoop

August 30th, 2016


Poo-tiful stories flow freely from this anonymous caller. And Geth steps in it.This episode is sponsored by Magoosh, DKMS, Talkspace, and Blue Apron.

25. Noodlebody

August 23rd, 2016


Morrissey sings, "It takes strength to be gentle and kind." Well, Geth hasn't eaten all day, and this self-avowed "Noodlebody" is about to find out if the two hard-boiled eggs Gethard bought from the midtown 7-11 will …

24. I Cry When I Run

August 16th, 2016


"You're about to hear me have more fun than I've ever had in the history of Beautiful/Anonymous." So sayeth Chris Gethard about this call, which …

23. Anglican Bipolar Blacksheep

August 9th, 2016


For generations her family has been preaching fire and brimstone in the Pentecostal church, but this caller had to find her own way. A …

22. A Competitive Spirit

August 2nd, 2016


This former professional soccer player's life hasn't turned out anywhere close to what she planned -- but she's happy. And as she tells Chris, she's learning how to tap into her competitive spirit every day.This episode …

21. Make Fruit Baskets Great Again

July 26th, 2016


She's a mother of two and domestic abuse survivor who wants to talk about Trump.  After hearing her life story Chris understands why she supports The Donald. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, Talkspace, and …

20. Vegan Uncle Buck

July 19th, 2016


He loves animals! But kids? Not so much. This caller delves into his own childhood, his dislike of hardware megastores, and though there's a little darkness, this is one of the more lighthearted calls we've ever …

19. Strangers on a Train

July 12th, 2016


A lot of people call up and share stories from their past. But today we are very much living in the present. It's almost like we're experiencing this caller's life with him as it is happening. All aboard the SEPTA …

18. OTL in a Hopeless Place

July 5th, 2016


Loves hashtags & millennial abbreviations? Check. Has a deep knowledge of RomComs? Check. Found love in a hopeless place? Check. Name drops J-Lo and inspires Chris to sing some Peter Gabriel? Check.This episode is …

17. Early Onset

June 28th, 2016


She's just 25, but her mother has early onset Alzheimers. This is a call about remembering those who can no longer remember themselves.This episode is sponsored by Ibotta and Audible.

16. At Sea On a Cardboard Boat (Live at the Vulture Festival)

June 21st, 2016


It's the first ever taping of Beautiful/Anonymous from the Vulture Festival in NYC. The caller is a creative Canadian looking to sail her cardboard …

15. The Hardest Part Is That You Love Me

June 14th, 2016

This 25 year-old Californian is in the midst of a quarter-life crisis and turns to Chris for help. So they form a mutual appreciation society. #MAS

14. Jack Mormon

June 7th, 2016


A questioning Mormon and family man calls Chris up exactly 1 hour and 15 minutes before his final law exam of the semester. But this phone call is more important to him than the test.This episode is sponsored by AMEX, …

13. Married to a Monster

May 31st, 2016


Two years ago a note came in the mail with surprising and horrifying news about her husband. But despite all the darkness that's crept into her life she is shining with positivity.This episode is sponsored by AMEX, …

12. Alcoholics Anonymous

May 24th, 2016


We get our first hangup and it's pretty rattling. Let us know what you think.This episode is sponsored by AMEX, SundanceNow Doc Club, Framebridge, and

11. Jersey Boy

May 17th, 2016


This entrepreneur seems like he's got it all figured out. But there are certain things he will never reveal to Chris. Plus: how a volcano …

10. 4 Kids 0 Sex

May 10th, 2016


After 8 years and 4 kids he is more in love with her than ever. But she may not be in love with him. This is the first time he's talking to anyone about it. This episode is sponsored by Mack Weldon, Squarespace, and …

9. Up All Night

May 3rd, 2016


This nurse has been up for 24 hours. Chris has the chance to ask her some questions that have been on his mind for a while.

8. Running Down a Stapler

April 26th, 2016


The greatest songwriter of all time (self-proclaimed) has written 18,000 songs and counting, including one brand new song for us. Watch out, Tom Petty.

7. The Cycle of Life

April 19th, 2016


Reflections on death and the value of a 401k turns into candid sex advice from Chris Gethard to his anonymous caller.

6. Mountain Man vs. City Boy

April 12th, 2016


This outdoorsman and mountaineer is in touch with nature and his Ford F250, he takes care of the people he loves, and is totally willing to share about anything, even poop soup.

5. A Real Life Superhero

April 5th, 2016


Military veteran and writer talks about his WWII super-spy grandmother, a more recent sad and startling ouija board prediction, and how his life has changed since he left the service.

4. The Most Amazing Destruction

March 29th, 2016


An aspiring voice actor talks about using jokes to help with the hard times, and explains how she frames success. Plus she asks Chris the most important question he has ever faced: if you were to be eaten by an animal …

3. The Illustrator

March 22nd, 2016


A young illustrator in New York City grapples with the line between fine art and commerce...and how to avoid parking tickets.

2. Passport, Exodus

March 15th, 2016


An ex-Orthodox Jew answers Chris’s pressing questions about Kosher law, particularly as it relates to drinking wine and eating insects. He also …

1. Ron Paul's Baby

March 15th, 2016


A true underdog in Denton, Texas reveals his fascinating family history, and a pent-up passion.

0 Preview: Beautiful / Anonymous

March 3rd, 2016


A sneak peek at Chris Gethard’s new show “Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People,” coming to Earwolf on March 15th! Subscribe now and you won't miss …

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