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A Problem Squared

69 EpisodesProduced by Matt Parker Bec HillWebsite

Matt Parker and Bec Hill present: A Problem Squared. A podcast dedicated to solving problems of all kinds, such as, "What should I listen to right now?". A Podcast Squared. First one's free. You're welcome.

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069 = Tiling Planes and Driving Planes

September 25th, 2023


In this episode...   - What is the optimal maths based pattern to decorate a rented home?   - Is it possible to fly a plane on the autobahn?   - And some bloody brilliant Any Other Business   You can find more …

068 = Big Feastival and Bike Intervals

September 12th, 2023


Coming to you AS-LIVE from a tent at The Big Feastival!

In this wet and festivally episode...

- How green is cycling really? 

- An update on Stawberry-gate. 

Again, if anyone has any information about the Time Fun …

066 = Strawberry Yields and Football Fields

August 14th, 2023


In this slightly sports adjacent episode...

🍓 Are there more strawberries or old men on earth? 

⚽️ Is Melbourne Rectangular Stadium more or less …

065 = Central Parks and Baseball Larks

July 31st, 2023


This is a single problem, AOB-less and DIY episode...what could be more New York?

🏟 Baseball fun in New York City!

📍 How central is Central Park …

064 = A Tetris Education and Candy Bar Formation

July 17th, 2023


In this episode...

👾 What is the best way to win at Tetris? 

🍫 Revisited: Have all the candy bars been invented? 

📜 And some AOOOOOOOOOB. 

You can find the Bonham's Nintendo Gameboy Sale:

063 = Meta Magic Squares and Fire Hose Care

July 3rd, 2023


In THIS episode...

🔲 Is it possible to make a magic square of magic squares where each cell is the magic constant of another magic square?

📜 Bec becomes a document detective!

🚨 It's a New York Alert

💼 What's in the …

062 = The Ice Cream Hack and Burger Rings Packs

June 19th, 2023


In THIS episode:

🍦 Can you lose weight with a diet of ice cream and beer?

🍔 What's up with Burger Rings? 


💼 And some A-OHHHHH-B.

Here's the Burger Rings 1992 ad:

061 = Shifting Dates and Lifting Waits

June 5th, 2023


On THIS episode...

🌍 Where should Earth be? 

🛗 What's the best way to spend one minute in a lift? 

♾ Why are there different sizes of infinity? 

💼 …

060 = Cables Coiled and Water World

May 22nd, 2023

In this episode...   🎧 How do you stop the wires on headphones from twisting?   🏊🏽‍♀️ If the Earth was a smooth sphere, how much water would …

059 = Concealing Stars and Conceiving Bars

May 8th, 2023


In THIS episode...   🌝 Is the diameter of the sun and the moon the spookiest of coincidences?   🍫 Where on earth are the new candy bars?!   📈 What's in the Business Briefcase today?   Here's the incredible …

058 = Bluey's Beats and Undies Cheats

April 24th, 2023


In THIS episode...   🎶 What's the time signature of the Bluey theme tune?   🔐 How can you get the security tag off an item of clothing at home?   🐹 The first answer to the first A Peanut Squared.   🗂 And …

057 = Factorial Calculations and Optimal Celebrations

April 10th, 2023


In THIS episode...

* Matt has found the last number.

* How do you determine which day of the week a given date falls on if you know the day of another date?

* And some other international business.

If you'd like to see …

056 = LTRL Words and Half-Life Burns

March 27th, 2023


In THIS episode...

🐹 A Peanut Squared! 

📇 How many words neatly shorten to letter-name versions? 

🔥 Was Michael Jackson's hair catching fire in a Pepsi ad the exact mid-point of his life?

💼 And some Other Business. 

055 = Bristol Bus Buds and Generic Soap Suds

March 14th, 2023


In this episode...

🚍 What’s the probability that you get on a bus and see a colleague who's travelling to the same house as you?

🧽 Can I use a …

054 = Sparkling Wines and Marking Lines

February 27th, 2023


In this episode...

Can a spoon keep open champagne fizzy?

Are two minimalist rulers more effective than one 30cm ruler?

There's some Any Other …

053 = Elementary Monikers and Rotatory Chronikers

February 13th, 2023


In this episode...   🪨 Which human names are the least elemental?   🕰️ Why do clocks run clockwise?   🧳 Some news from the business briefcase!   🪵 And an even NEWER stumpdate.   If you'd like to …

052 = Piping Hot Baths and Predicting With Graphs

February 6th, 2023


In this episode...

🛀 How do you keep a bath warmer for longer?

💼 Matt solves a problem about business.

🗞️ We have some AOB.

🪵 And a brand new …

051 = Have We Hit 1 Mil Yet and Should Yer Toothbrush Feel Wet?

January 16th, 2023


In THIS very meta episode...

* Did Matt forecast a million downloads correctly? 

* When should your toothpaste be wet?

* And there's some Any Other …

050 = Nearly an Hour of Mirth About Places Called Perth

January 2nd, 2023


In this BRAND NEW and Perth based episode...   * Which Perth is the best Perth?   * If you scale human DNA to match the DNA tower in Kings …

049 = Grand Theft Auto Five and Girlfriend Digit Size

December 19th, 2022


In THIS episode: 

* How do you get a billion dollars on GTA 5 as fast as possible?

* What are some sneaky but effective ways to measure a ring finger?

048 = Satellite Applications and Website Calculations

December 5th, 2022


In this episode...

  • How do we repurpose a satellite dish?
  • How does Matt do his calculations so quickly?
  • And some any other bugness!

IF you …

047 = If Bees Flew Your Weight and Honey Use-By Date

November 21st, 2022


047 = If Bees Flew Your Weight and Honey Use-By Date

In this episode...

  • How many bees would it take to lift a person?
  • Does honey really have an …

046 = Novel Novel Hovels and A Lot o' Lotto Pottos

November 7th, 2022


In THIS episode...   * What is the most interesting way to store books? * How many years would you need to play the lottery to reach a net …

045 = A minute of New Yorkin' and Hey, I'm walkin'!

October 24th, 2022


In THIS episode...

* Can we increase the chance of catching the subway by walking to the nearest stop in the direction of travel? 

* How long is a New York Minute, really?

* And some serious jet lag. 

Thank you to …

044 = Belts for Crime and Smells in Time

October 10th, 2022


In THIS episode...

* Which utility would be most useful on a utility belt? 

* How fast is the speed of smell?

* Matt comes one step closer to finding …

043 = Millennia Tripled and Why Are Males Nippled?

September 26th, 2022


In this episode...

* We run the numbers on the 2002 hit song 'Year 3000'

* Why do all humans have nipples?

* And, A Problem Squared goes to New York City! 

If you happen to be in New York City at 4pm on Saturday the 8th …

042 = Plate or Bowl Guesses and Faster Processes

September 12th, 2022


In this episode...

* When does a plate become a bowl?

* And, five five-letter words with twenty-five unique letters: Some mind-blowing solutions. 

041 = Table Surface Braced and Toothbrush Versus Paste

August 29th, 2022


In this episode...

* How do you stop a wobbly table from wobbling? 

* Which is more effective for your dental hygiene: a toothbrush without toothpaste or toothpaste without a toothbrush? 

* A-to-the-O-to-the-B. 

* Plus! …

040 = Anniversary Crazes and Any Cursory Praises

August 15th, 2022


In THIS episode...

* What's the most appropriate gift for a couple’s -1 year anniversary?

* How do you write a podcast review without Apple podcasts?

039 = Many Ways to Replace Lights and Trebuchets Shooting Space Flights (live at Bluedot Festival)

August 1st, 2022


In this very special episode, live from Blue Dot Festival...   * How many astronauts does it take to change a light bulb?   * What is the most …

038 = Fldxt in Wordle and Improv Tact Hurdle

July 18th, 2022


In this episode...   * Can you guess 5 unique words with unique letters in Wordle?   * How do you get out of your head and into the scene in improv?   * And any other Cheesness.   Here's the dictionary text …

037 = Digital Displays and Digits All Splayed

July 4th, 2022


In this episode...   * When does a high five become a low five?   * What is the most efficient digital display?   * And, some any other beesness   Just 18 more sleeps until APS is LIVE at Bluedot - that's …

036 = Score Menu Sets and Door Etiquette

June 20th, 2022

In this episode: 
  • Can you create an order from a numbered menu that is always comprehensible to the server?
  • When someone is behind you as you …

035 = Lunar Cheese Pops and Physics Bullet Drops

June 6th, 2022


In THIS episode...   * How long would it take us to eat the moon if it was made of cheese?   * If you shot and dropped a bullet at exactly the …

034 = Novel Seal of Approval and Family Seal of Removal

May 23rd, 2022


In this episode...   * How related are you to a Harbour seal?    * Bec gives some novel advice.    * Matt mends a mistake.    * And there's all sorts of AOB.    If you want to bid on the £5,000 t-shirt …

033 = Super Computers and Putrid Pong Tooters

May 9th, 2022


In this episode:   * Can you alter the smell of your farts based on what you eat?   * When does a computer become a supercomputer?   * And, Any AOB!   A huge thank you to Dr Jess Biesiekierski, you can find …

032 = Mountains, Molehills and Mates

April 25th, 2022


On this episode...   * How many molehills would you need to make a mountain out of them?    * How do you find friends?   * Matt revisits some …

031 = Differing Frames and Numbering Phones

April 11th, 2022


In this episode...   * Why are aspect ratios so whack?    * How many phone numbers actually exist?    * Wheels or Doors: Revisited.    * And, closure on A Pudding Squared.   A big thank you to Tom Salinsky …

030 = Genetic Draws and Wheels vs Doors

March 28th, 2022


In this episode...   * What are the odds of having the same child twice?   * Wheels or Doors?   * And Bec recommends some new nerdy podcasts!    Don't forget too send in your Blue Dot Festival problems to us on …

029 = Product Labels and Public Payrolls

March 14th, 2022

Happy Pi Day 2022! 

In this episode...

* Which edible products have protected names?

* How much tax paid by a civil servant would pass into their own …

028 = Having a Chat and Nav'ing a Sat

March 1st, 2022


In this episode...

* Could a GPS sat nav work on the moon? 

* A Pudding Squared returns.  

* An APS announcement.

* AND format news! 

If you have any …

027 = Postcode Tray Score and Mesh Mask Decor

January 31st, 2022


In this episode...   * How do you reuse an old radiotherapy mask?   * What is the optimal way to utilise postcodes in Scrabble?   * And, the …

026 = Sliding on Snow and Skipping on Sleep

December 31st, 2021


APS 026 is here, and it's the last of the year! In this episode...

* How fast could a team of penguins complete a 4 x 100 relay race?

* How can you …

025 = Bec's Beck's and Bucks

November 30th, 2021


In this month's episode Bec finds out how many Beck's beers would fit in Bec Hill. And Matt investigates how much he'd  have in Euros, if every …

024 = Pumpkin Bores and Bumps 'n' Doors

October 31st, 2021


APS 024 is out now! 

And it's a spooky October edition! In this episode...

* What's the largest hole that can be carved in a pumpkin without the …

023 = The Weight of Words and Graphene for Turds

September 30th, 2021


Yes, that's right. The Weight of Words and Graphene for Turds.

In this month's episode...

If graphene was rolled to the size of a loo roll, how long …

022 = Serial Writing, Lineal Sighting, and Cereal Biting

August 31st, 2021


What's the best way to stay inspired when writing?

Where on earth can you look the furthest away at something else, that is also on the earth?

When eating cereal, what is the milk? Sauce, broth, jus or something else?

021 = Inharmonics and Skin-harm-tonics

July 31st, 2021


This is Inharmonics and Skin-harm-tonics!

In this month's episode...

How well can the human voice mimic a dinging bell? Bec teams up with a …

020 = Filling Up and Falling Down

June 30th, 2021


Score! It's episode 020 of A Problem Squared, Filling Up and Falling Down!    

In this episode...  

  • Can we solve global warming by diluting the …

019 = Wetness, Trees and Pet Mysteries

May 31st, 2021


How did a hamster end up in a listener's apartment on the other side of the world?

How many leaves would humans need to photosynthesise all our …

018 = Make Your Vote Count New Species Amount

April 30th, 2021


This month, Matt and Bec explore voting systems in elections. Bec wonders what effect it might have to vote for a novelty candidate. And we speak to a special guest who might just know a thing or two about this.

Plus a …

017 = All The Hills, Fauna Fills and Sauna Chills

March 31st, 2021


How many Bec Hills could fit in Bexhill?

What species would make the longest queue if you put every individual in a single line?

Plus an update on …

016 = Biscuit Tips and Longer Trips

February 28th, 2021


In this month's episode, Matt investigates what is the optimal way to share biscuits amongst a group, and Bec explores how you can elongate your …

015 = Getting Plucky and Feeling Lucky

January 31st, 2021


This month Matt and Bec are problem-solving thusly:

Can you cast shadow puppets on the Moon?

Why do champion cyclists wear such short shorts?

Is …

014 = Final Cheese Drama and Quick-Fire-O-Rama

December 31st, 2020


It's the end of year special!

We have an update on the Cheese Cover Up, the results of the listener survey, and a selection of quick-fire new …

013 = Heavy Lifting and Clever Gifting

November 30th, 2020


What's the most cunning way to move furniture on your own?

Thoughtful ideas for Christmas presents

Answers to the riddle of Pudding's Wheel, …

012 = Series of Teeth and Queries of Cheese

October 31st, 2020


To celebrate 12 episodes we're collecting some data! If you can, fill in the listener survey:

Does this …

011 = Massive Halls and Ambassadors' Balls

September 30th, 2020


How long is a year of A Problem Squared podcasts?

What's the qualification for a room being a room?

Is the famous Ferrero Rocher advert mathematically possible?

You can visit the Crafts Council campaign here:

010 = Heat Fighting and Typewriting

August 31st, 2020


- How can you keep cool when there's no air conditioning?

- What's the best thing to do with a spare room? (If you're lucky enough to have one, that …

009 = Big Statues and Big Stack Chews

July 31st, 2020


- Could pennies make a girlfriend for the Statue of Liberty?
- What's the optimum burger size for your mouth?
- Where is Matt's topography video?

008 = Height Matters and Dish Splatters

June 30th, 2020


- Why are kitchen counters one-size-fits-all?
- Are the recorded surface areas of countries 3D?
- Why don't plastic things dry in the dishwasher?

Special thanks to:
Gareth and Kiruna (@garethandkiruna on TikTok and …

007 = Big Thing Fans and Retirement Plans

May 31st, 2020


- What is the biggest big thing?
- Is the lottery a good retirement plan?
- Update on the £5,000 t-shirt.
- The taster data has popped.

Support us on Patreon!

Review us on apple …

005 = Airplane Stacks and Backpack Hacks

April 1st, 2020


- What went wrong with the audio of episode 003?
- The best place to put a backpack on a crowded train.
- How many Boeing 737s will fit?
- Making a perfect guest bedroom.
- Bonus: Bec has feedback on Matt's rice …

004 = Quarantine Kits and Contagion Calculus

March 24th, 2020


- Why is this episode so late?
- What to take when in hospital quarantine?
- Tips for working at home from two pros.
- Does the exponential maths of viral memes check out?

Get in touch if you'd like to share your …

003 = Teeth Tips and Defining Decades

January 31st, 2020


- When does the new decade start?
- The best system for brushing teeth.
- How many orders are there for Bec's show?
- Top travel tips.

Get in touch if you have any more travel tips!

002 = Too Much Pizza, Not Enough Space

December 31st, 2019


- How much pizza is too much pizza?
- What is the optimal way to store shirts?
- How should Matt deal with jetlag?

Update from episode 001: someone …

001 = Sizing Shoes and Selling Organs

November 30th, 2019


Problems featured in this episode:

  • What's the deal with shoe sizes?
  • Buy my body!
  • Re-refridgeration.
  • Nice knick-knacks for nieces.

Bec Hill:

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